Chapter 40 Jakob
JAKOB
“What’s the problem, bro?” Levi asked. “You look like someone came along and took a great big shit all over your face.”
“Lovely imagery, Levi.”
“I’m sorry. You look like someone came along, whipped out their enormous cock, and blew their huge gooey load all over your face.”
Okay, I laughed out loud at that one. In fact, it was the first laugh to spill from my lips since Zane marched out of my house.
The shock had hit me hard and then I felt nothing.
I figured he might text me and apologize.
In a perfect world, he would admit to being a total idiot and beg my forgiveness.
No text came. He didn’t show up at my door in the pouring rain, dropping to one knee, and imploring me to take him back. I didn’t know how this was supposed to work. I’d never broken up with a guy before.
Here’s the thing—would I have taken him back? No. I couldn’t do something like that. After the way he behaved, I couldn’t have trusted him. I’d given him the benefit of the doubt and decided he was a nice guy once you got to know him. He thanked me by acting like a complete and utter asshole.
“So, what’s the deal?” Levi asked, leaning against the board.
“There’s no deal.”
“Come on, Jakob. I know I have a room temperature I.Q. but I’m smart enough to know when something’s going on.”
“Nothing’s going on. Now, let’s get back to practicing. We’ve barely got any time left.”
I started down the ice and our enforcer followed me. Yeah, yeah, I know that was nothing more than flimsy avoidance, but I had to at least try to change the subject.
Levi should’ve been able to handle knowing I’d been with a guy all this time, but I could never tell him about who I’d been with. That would be crossing enemy lines, and who the hell cared if it was over? I hadn’t been true to the Larkin Lions, and that was all he would give a shit about.
When our enforcer caught up with me, he said, “Lying’s a mortal sin, you know that?”
“That’s okay. I’m not Catholic.”
“But you’re still lying. And I can see through you like an old woman’s underpants.”
Again, I couldn’t stop myself from laughing out loud. If you need a cure for the blues, just hit up Levi Dunn. He’ll take good care of you.
“Okay, so maybe I am lying,” I said. “Is that such a bad thing?”
He gave a tiny shrug. “I don’t know why you would lie or even withhold the dirt here. We’re a team, dude. A brotherhood. We tell each other everything, right?”
“Did you tell everyone you were doing the horizontal bop with Quinn?”
When he paused, I knew I had him licked.
Here was my real problem; I wanted to tell the truth. When something bad happened to me, I wanted to tell others about it and get it off my chest. I didn’t want to keep things bottled up and drive myself crazy.
I’d gone through a couple of breakups with steady girlfriends. None of them felt like this. Of course, none of those girls were Zane Hirst. They were far and away easier to deal with.
“I never told anyone about Quinn for pretty obvious reasons,” Levi said. “But then I finally let it all out.”
“The question is what made you do it, Levi?”
“I had to. I couldn’t take it anymore.”
“But what was it? Like, a little voice inside your head that said you need to do this?”
“No, it was because I was going to lose him if I didn’t find a way to be honest about it. It came down to a choice. I hated to think about what my life would look like without Quinn Standish in it, so I did what I had to do.”
But Quinn didn’t play for the opposing team, the sworn rival. He hadn’t kept something like that a secret from everyone.
“Let’s just forget I ever asked anything,” I said.
“No way, dude. I can’t forget you asked. You and Quinn haven’t started dating behind my back, have you?”
I snorted and shook my head. Given how he asked the question, I couldn’t be one hundred percent sure that he was kidding.
“Don’t forget that I at least tried to help you,” he said.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah.”
“But since you don’t want to talk about what’s bothering you, then forget it.”
I stopped and flashed my teammate a questioning look.
“You think I’m joking?”
“No, it’s just that…”
Telling him it wasn’t as simple as forgetting would leave me even more vulnerable. Though Zane had been a total asshole, I couldn’t help thinking that he really was the nice guy I’d seen. And I hated thinking of not having him in my life. I mean, without Zane, who would I make fun of?
I couldn’t help considering the giant hole he’d left in my heart. I could try to forget Zane all I wanted but that wouldn’t be easier said than done.
Levi’s hand slammed down on my shoulder, not because he was being aggressive, but because he was a meathead.
“You’ve got to focus your whole energy on this game,” he said. “You know why?”
“Tell me.”
“It’s more than just the championship. You should always be after that. It’s like our A-Number-One goal. But if the Riptides beat us, we’re never going to hear the end of it. Actually, it’ll be a lot worse than that.”
“How can it get any worse?”
“Pull your head out of your ass, would you?”
I didn’t get mad at him for saying that. Levi was a meathead, remember?
“How long has this war between the Lions and Riptides been going on?” he asked.
“Since dinosaurs roamed the earth, last I knew.”
“Right. You would’ve thought there would be no end to this war. Well, this game is going to put an end to the rivalry once and for all.”
For the first time in history, Levi Dunn might’ve had an intelligent thought.
“I think I’m following,” I said, “but in case I’m not, what do you foresee?”
“We’ve always taken whatever bragging rights we could from individual games.
We always want to win especially when we’re up against those assholes.
Only this isn’t just another game. It’s not even a regular playoff game.
We could argue about those games until the cows come home, but it never meant shit. Now it does.”
“Because it’s for the championship?”
“Abso-fuckin-lutely. Whoever wins—us—will be able to lord it over the loser—them—for all eternity. Even the players on the Lions and Riptides teams that come after us will be bound by the results of this game. They can try to strike up a rivalry but I’m telling you it’ll fall flat as a pancake.
The winner will be able to claim superiority over the loser forever more. ”
I whistled in amazement.
If I hadn’t gone through what I had with the Lions, I would’ve found the whole thing silly.
Yeah, I’m a competitor, but I’ve never thought about superiority or supremacy.
That is, until the Remington Riptides came into the conversation.
I never would’ve thought the rivalry would somehow come to an end.
Then again, I’d never thought Levi Dunn could entertain an intelligent thought, either.
“That’s why we can’t lose this thing,” he said. “We can’t even think about losing this thing. If we do, we might as well forget about a rivalry next year. And think about the next generation of players who come to play here. If the Riptides win it all, who are they supposed to hate?”
“I’m glad you’ve got your priorities in order.”
“I’m telling you; we’ve got to go into this game guns ablazin’. And if we’ve got to take a few Riptides out of the game then that’s exactly what we’re going to do.”
“This again?”
“The stakes are too high to ever accept defeat. I want you to sit there and think about how much you hate them, and how glorious it’ll be when we serve them their heads on fucking platters.”
I skated away from Levi.
“Hey bro, was it something I said?” he asked.
The more I listened to Levi, the more I dreaded this game. I wanted to get it over and done with in the worst way.
No matter what Levi told me, I would have Zane on my mind. I would say nothing more to him because I couldn’t speak the truth. Levi’s jaw would probably drop to know that Zane was bigger than the championship to me.