Chapter 48 Jakob
JAKOB
“You missed a spot,” I told Zane.
My ex-boyfriend looked up while down on one knee with my foot in his powerful hands.
“What are you talking about?” he asked.
“I mean, rub a little lower.”
His hands shifted down the sole of my foot, kneading his fingers into the flesh. If you’ve never had a personal slave, I really recommend getting one. The perks are just divine.
As he rubbed my foot, I thrust my head back, reveling in every moment. I wanted to enjoy this while it lasted.
I would give Zane credit, though. He’d taken on the role of personal slave, gopher, and occasional butt wiper (kidding!) like a real pro.
If he wanted to convince me that he was sorry for the injury, mission accomplished.
Of course, I couldn’t tell him that. I needed him to finish as many tasks for me as humanly possible first.
“Okay, now you can rub a little higher,” I said.
“You know, I had a cat that was less demanding than this.”
He smiled when he said it.
“Ooh, do I detect notes of complaint?” I asked.
But I knew better.
“When you’re done rubbing my feet, I have a few loads of laundry you can do,” I said.
“Hurray.”
He smiled again, but I knew he’d put that one on.
Zane sat beside me on the couch, like he wanted to scoot in close and touch me, like he used to do. I didn’t shift away from him but totally would have had he pushed his luck.
“We need to talk,” he said.
“You don’t want to be my personal slave anymore?”
“I was never your personal slave, Jakob. At least not officially.”
“My manservant, my gopher, my errand boy.”
He shook his head, saying, “I’m none of those things either.”
“Then what do you want me to call you?”
When he paused, I knew that he wanted to be serious, even if I was in no mood for that.
“This is driving me nuts,” Zane said. “The whole thing.”
“That’s the whole idea of servitude, isn’t it? It’s not enough to cater to my every whim. You’re supposed to hate it. Isn’t that fair?”
He rolled his eyes like he thought I could never be serious—and he was right on that score.
“It’s not about waiting on you hand and foot,” he said.
I hoisted an eyebrow, hoping that meant that he would continue serving me like that. Knowing Zane, that was probably a bridge too far.
“Then what is it about?” I asked.
“It’s about you… about us, I mean. I can’t stand to go on like this. It’s like being so close to you but so far away.”
I paused, still unwilling to take my ex-boyfriend as seriously as he wanted.
“And who’s fault is that?” I asked.
“Who’s fault? I don’t think anyone’s to blame. It’s just one of those things.”
Oh my God, he couldn’t be serious. Like, he honestly must’ve thought I’d just fallen off the turnip truck.
“I don’t know,” I said, “I’m not the one who ended the relationship. Gee, who was that now? Let me think…”
Zane didn’t roll his eyes, but I knew he wanted to in the worst way. If I achieved nothing else from this, at least I could drive Zane to a new level of crazy.
“I really don’t see it like that,” he said, “and you shouldn’t either.”
I pointed to myself as if to confirm that he was actually talking about me.
“Okay,” I said. “I’ll play along. Why do I share blame in your acting like an asshole?”
He pursed his lips and released a breath through his nose.
“I’m not saying you actually share blame in me being an asshole,” he said.
“But you’re admitting that you are one?”
“Yeah, as a matter of fact, I am.”
He tossed his hands up and let them land in his lap. I understood at that moment that I needed to take my ex-boyfriend seriously, sort of.
“The way I see it,” he said, “we had the deck stacked against us.”
“Okay…”
“You don’t know what I’m talking about? We’re on opposing teams engaged in the fiercest rivalry I’ve ever seen. And we were both competing for the same goal, the same prize. I can’t help it if your team stinks.”
“Oooh, way to butter me up, Zane.”
I wondered for a moment if he literally wanted to butter me up. That would’ve made for some fun in the bedroom had he not broken up with me.
“It seemed like a bad idea for us to get together,” he said. “Shit, on paper, it seemed like a horrendous idea. You’d think nuclear war could’ve broken out.”
“How dramatic of you, Zane.”
He sucked in a deep breath and released it. That was all he could do to keep me from getting under his skin, I could tell.
“Look, I’m not trying to be dramatic,” he said. “I’m just laying down the facts so even you can understand.”
I snorted. One good insult deserved another, I guess, and let it go.
“I know I’ve fucked up my share of times,” he said.
“I’ve taken count in case you want an exact number.”
“Jakob, I’m trying to be serious here. I’ve fucked up a bunch of times and then I fucked up enormously. That’s the only reason I’ve gone along with this whole personal slave bit. I feel like I’ve got to make it up to you somehow, some way.”
A pause settled between us. So far, he hadn’t said anything I didn’t already know. And he’d apologized for my injury. He hadn’t apologized for the way he crushed me on the inside, though.
“You’ve hurt me in worse ways than causing a fractured neck, you know.”
He closed his eyes and nodded.
“I know that,” he said, “and I’m sorry.”
“Awesome. That’s what I really needed to hear.”
“Wait a second, are you saying that you would just take me back? That I didn’t have to go through with all this bullshit?”
“Oh, I still would’ve expected you to do all that stuff. But yeah, I would’ve taken you back.”
“So, what’s stopping you from making everything official?”
“There’s still one thing I need to hear from you. It’s the most important thing ever.”
What’s that? he should’ve asked. Thank God he didn’t. If he had, I would’ve decided there really was no hope for us.
When he stared into my eyes, I felt paralyzed. Sure, his eyes had always looked gorgeous, but I’d never seen such warmth radiate from them before.
“I love you, Jakob,” he said. “No matter what happens between us, I love you more than life itself. I would never be able to get by in this world without you. That’s a fact.
I know we all make mistakes, but I made an enormous one by hurting you in multiple ways.
I can only tell you that I’m sorry, and once again that I love you. ”
I didn’t know what to say. It’s not like Zane absolutely had to say that. I felt blown away by words I’d never known he was capable of speaking. It felt so weird at the same time. Like, I didn’t even feel the overwhelming need to make fun of him anymore.
“I love you too, Zane.”
He didn’t have to say anything more. He scooted over until our hips touched, leaned in and kissed me. His tongue slipped into my mouth almost instantly, and it felt like old times.
I reached over his shoulder, cupped the back of his head, and pressed his face against mine. A moan of delight sounded from my ex-boyfriend as I basked in his touch.
His hand landed on my lap and worked its way over to the pit of my crotch.
No need to be terribly subtle now that we were both into it.
My cock grew hard in his hand, a feeling I missed in the worst way.
I hadn’t even missed sex with girls let alone guys, but Zane reminded me of how incredible that could be.
When his lips broke away from mine, his face stayed within an inch or two. His eyes stared deeply into mine, reminded me that everything was all right with the world as long as we had each other.
“Are we back together now?” he asked.
“Not quite.”
His eyes shot open wide. If I had to pinpoint the exact moment that I drove him insane, that would’ve been it.
“Hold on a second, timeout,” he said. “After all this, you’re saying we’re not a couple again?”
“Oh, we’re a couple again. Or we’re going to be. There’s just one little formality we need to take care of.”
“Okay…”
“Oh, come on, Zane, it’s nothing bad. It’ll be a lot of fun.”
Zane wasn’t following. I knew he wasn’t. Still, I would keep my promise about it not being anything bad.
“We broke up,” I said, “and now we’re going to get back together. It’s a do-over. But we need to have a proper do over.”
He hoisted his eyebrow at me like he still didn’t know what I was talking about.
“Come on, Zane, you know what I’m talking about. A proper do-over would include doing over a first date.”
“Okay, I think I’m following.”
He nodded like maybe he was finally getting into the spirit of things.
“How about the Colter Bay Grill?” I asked.
“Really? Why there?”
“If you ask me, that’s where things really began for us.”
“Because that’s the first time we saw one another face-to-face?”
“No, because that’s where I knocked you out cold.”
He sputtered and glanced away. Even now, he couldn’t accept the truth.
“It’ll be fun,” I said. “We can get dressed up and everything… Even though I know you’ll probably get wing sauce all over your best shirt.”
He half-smiled and said, “Okay, you’re on.”
Then he leaned in and kissed me again, slowly and sweetly.
I could live with that.