Chapter 47 Zane
ZANE
“So, you fucked up royal, huh?” Levi started laughing like it was the funniest thing he’d ever heard.
“I should’ve known.”
I turned and started walking away. An enormous hand landed on my shoulder and pulled me back. I pushed it off like I’d been grabbed by an ape.
“Come on, man,” Levi said. “I thought you’d have a better sense of humor than that. After all, I would’ve figured you and the other Riptides would have to laugh at yourself to fit in.”
“Remind me again who won the championship, Levi.”
He sputtered, turned away, and then looked back at me. No surprise there. Hit guys like him with facts and the smart mouth takes a vacation.
“Okay, so now that we’ve established that the Riptides are better than the Lions—”
“Hold on there, douche,” Levi said. “Who said anything about the Riptides being better than the Lions?”
“Nobody. Just the entire city of Buffalo. College hockey fans everywhere. Heck, nobody has to say anything to prove that point. That championship game spoke louder than words ever could.”
Levi balled a fist, and for a moment, I thought he wanted to sock me one.
I didn’t budge. He must’ve known that a Lion could never have a conversation with a Riptide without getting on each other’s nerves pretty seriously.
Levi wouldn’t really hit me, though. We shared something important in common: Jakob.
“You guys really surprised us,” Levi said. “Well, most of us.”
“Even you had no idea, huh?”
“What do you mean, even you?”
“Um, haven’t you been banging some ginger nerd in the ass for a while now.”
When he smiled, I understood I’d raised his favorite topic—hot sex. Levi’s eyes drifted off, like the mention of sex with his favorite ginger nerd caused him to lose himself in the moment.
“Yeah, I definitely know what you mean,” Levi said.
“And you didn’t have the slightest idea about Jakob and me?”
He shrugged. “I thought something must be up with Jakob, but not that he was with you.”
“Surprising, huh?”
“Damn right it is. If Jakob was going gay, I would’ve thought he’d have better taste.”
My arm nearly swung at him, but I culled it back. Then I drew a deep breath, calmed myself down, and reminded myself that this was for Jakob.
“In other words, you didn’t notice anything,” I said.
“But I did notice something. I already told you.”
“Why did I even bother coming to talk to a Lion?”
“Because of Jakob. And you know what my deal is. I’m the logical person to ask, aren’t I?”
“I guess so.”
“How are things going with him anyway? You two blow each other and make up yet?”
“Not yet. He’s got me working as his slave right now.”
“Holy shit, dude, I love that. I’ve been trying to get my boyfriend, Quinn, to get into the whips and chains and dungeons and all that shit. He just isn’t having it.”
“Not sexual slavery, you idiot. He’s got me doing every little chore for him like he’s helpless.”
“You spoon feeding him?”
“No.”
“What about sponge baths?”
“No, he still takes care of that stuff on his own.”
“Damn, if I were in your shoes, that would make it all worthwhile.”
I sighed.
“My problem is that I’ve been spending time at his place, catering to his every need, and he still hasn’t forgiven me.”
“Do you really expect him to?”
“Of course I do. I apologized, didn’t I?”
“Sometimes sorry isn’t enough, bro.”
God, I can’t tell you how weird it was to have a Larkin Lion—the riffraff of the NCAA hockey world—calling me bro. It made me feel sort of dirty inside.
“But it’s got to be enough in our case,” I said. “It would just be crazy if it wasn’t.”
“How do you figure?”
“We love each other. I know that sounds wild, given the rivalry between our teams, but I would’ve thought the loss in the championship game would’ve humbled him.”
“Humbled him? Bro, it’ll only make him hungrier. He’ll come out even stronger now. You wait and see.”
“Fine. I just thought that after such an awful hit, he would’ve seen what was important.”
“Or it gave him one hell of a wakeup call.”
I paused, knowing what he meant and hoping he wouldn’t elaborate.
“Think about it, bro. He must’ve thought you guys had something special. Hockey aside, he might’ve thought you were a great catch. Sure, he was probably confused. So was I when it happened to me. He gave you his trust, and what did you do? You fractured his neck.”
Any other time, I would’ve struck back, and pronounced Levi Dunn full of shit, but I couldn’t. He was one hundred percent right. I’d sought Levi out not just because he could understand my position, but because he might know something about Jakob that I didn’t. Teammates can be like that.
I combed my fingers through my hair and said, “Okay, I know I was an asshole—”
“I was going to say you were a piece of shit.”
“Yes, thank you, Levi. I was a piece of shit. I just thought—”
“You thought Jakob would forgive you no matter what you did?”
“Yeah…”
I sighed. Levi Dunn had made his point, likely without knowing it. If he wasn’t aware, I wouldn’t tell him. I didn’t need that meathead thinking he deserved credit for anything smart.
In my own way, I really had expected Jakob to just forgive me. The breakup seemed ridiculous the moment he got hurt. I didn’t go to see him because I figured he would be mad at me. When he cooled down, he would be ready to forgive, and we would go back to how things were between us.
Now I wondered if that would even be possible.
“I’m desperate now, Levi. Tell me what to do.”
“Desperate, huh? Normally, I would think that’s pretty fucking hot. I don’t know about Jakob, though. I picked up on a little bit about him, but I don’t know what he’s into.”
I rolled my eyes. Like I said, I should’ve known better than to think an intelligent conversation with a Larkin Lion was even possible.
“Come on, bro, do you want to win Jakob back or not?” Levi asked.
“Of course I do. I swear to you, I don’t think I can live without him.”
“Then tell him that.”
“What, are you serious?”
“Of course I am. You’re not going to convince him by saying pretty please with sprinkles on top, are you?”
“No way, man. It’s just that I worry I really might’ve fucked up this time.”
“Oh yeah, I know what that’s like.”
“So, it’s happened to you too, huh?”
He sputtered and waved a hand, saying, “It happens to me nine times before breakfast every day.”
“That’s very encouraging.”
An ear-to-ear smile appeared on Levi’s face like he honestly didn’t know sarcasm when he heard it.
“Problem is, I worry there’s no coming back from this. He thinks I hurt him on purpose and that’s not all that far from the truth.”
Levi stroked his chin like an intellectual steeped in thought.
“There’s always a way back,” Levi said. “There’s never a point of no return. If there were, Quinn would’ve kicked me to the curb a long time ago.”
“Are you serious?”
“Of course I’m serious. Do you think I go around admitting fault for much of anything for no reason?”
“I guess you’ve got a point there.”
I hoped he would finally say something that would remind me of why I came to him in the first place. I wasn’t holding my breath, but I could definitely hope.
For a moment, I worried I would get emotional. Seriously. Of all the moments for a serious feeling of despair to hit, why in front of Levi Dunn? Why in front of any of the Larkin Lions?
But especially that meathead Levi.
“You gonna be okay?” Levi asked.
“No, man, I don’t think so. I never thought I’d be so upset over another guy.”
“And you never thought you’d love sucking dick, but you do, don’t you? You really do!”
He smiled and elbowed my ribs like he honestly expected me to go along with that.
“I love him,” I said, “more than anything else in the whole wide world. I don’t think I can live without him, and that’s a fact.”
“So, tell him that.”
“Really?”
“You’ve got nothing to lose, correct?”
“True.”
“And you’ve done worse things… Cleaning out his commode must be a real drag.”
“He doesn’t use a—never mind. You’re right, Levi. Thank you.”
When I left him, I realized that I would have to tell Jakob all of those things. I would have to bare my soul. I would have to make myself my most vulnerable before him, even if it drove me nuts.