Chapter 8
CHAPTER 8
K ennedy coming over prompted me to clean my disastrous living room. The place resembled an art studio more than an apartment. It took a few hours, but eventually, the space looked habitable.
After applying some red lipstick, I evaluated myself in my bathroom mirror. A dark red crop top and skinny jeans made up my outfit for tonight. My closet held a kick-ass pair of black Doc Martens with a chunky heel that would match perfectly with my leather jacket. Pulling my hair up into a high ponytail, I let a few wisps of hair loose around my face.
Damn girl.
The girl staring back at me in the mirror looked hot for once instead of the hot mess express she usually portrayed. A knock at my door pulled me away from my self-evaluation. Kennedy came in holding a bottle of tequila and Sprite above her head.
“Let’s go show some puck rabbits how it’s done!” She announced. I laughed, ushering her into the kitchen. It was a small space with beat-up, basic wood cabinets, white laminate counters, and a peninsula with two rickety bar stools, but it got the job done. Kennedy set down the drinks, and I pulled out a few shot glasses from the cabinet.
“Puck bunnies, say it with me: Puck. Bunnies.” Kennedy waved her hand at me in response while I poured us our first drinks.
“Whatever, those bimbos who chase hockey dick.” She grabbed a shot and clinked her glass to my own. “To new friends, fuckable men, and hockey bimbos!” She exclaimed before we both took our shots and chased it with the Sprite.
I smiled at her and we continued our banter for the next two hours. It felt good to dance and laugh with someone again. With all my other friends having abandoned me, it’s been a long time since I had girl time. I used to love to pregame with my friends. With hockey, I didn’t always get the chance to go out, but when we did, we did it right. Half the time the pregame was more fun than the actual night out.
At some point, Kennedy set her phone up on the counter with a timer to take photos of us. She pulled me back from the camera, her cheeks rosy from the alcohol.
“Yell out a pose, and we go for it!” She giggled, and I nodded along.
“GIRAFFE!” I squealed as we tried to imitate giraffes before the timer went off.
“Tornado!” Kennedy yelled for the next one.
We went back and forth for a bit and stopped in a fit of giggles when my phone rang. I didn’t look to see who was calling before I answered.
“Hellooo,” I said cheerily. My mind buzzed euphorically from my drinks, elevating my mood. Movement from the corner of my eye caught my attention. Kennedy filled two water bottles with the remaining tequila to take them with us. I needed to tell her not to worry about it. Hockey House would have us covered.
“Where are you?” Hunter asked. Loud bass thumped in the background. .
“We’re coming. Kennedy and I were just having some pregame fun.” I picked up a throw pillow, searching for my clutch and jacket.
“You guys good to walk here? I can come meet you or send a rookie?” He sounded completely sober, which wasn’t surprising to me. Hunter was always the picture of control with parties and alcohol. Jackson once told me that Hunter feared drinking too much and making a career-ending mistake.
I made a ‘pfft’ noise into the phone and nodded to Kennedy. Before I answered Hunter, I put my hand over the receiver. “We don’t need those bottles. Just leave them here and grab your jacket.”
She nodded to me, and we moved towards my front door. “Nah, we’re good, Hunt,” I said as I locked my door. Never have I called Hunter, Hunt. I definitely felt my drinks. The nickname felt good on my tongue, and I relished in the feeling that swept through me. It was like a cat unfurling from a long nap, stretching tall and proud.
Even without seeing him, I knew he was smiling. “Hunt, huh? I like that sunshine. Alright, you two be safe.”
“Yes sir,” I exaggerated the last word, attempting to mock him like I did the last time.
“One of these days, you’re going to find out what happens when you keep calling me, sir.” He hung up without letting me respond to his comment.
Hunter was messing with me again. There was no way that happy-go-lucky Hunter had a dom kink. Plus, we would never go there. I needed to remind myself that this was all just a game to him. I refused to be his pawn. My fragile heart couldn’t handle it.
Kennedy and I made our way across campus to Hockey House. We laughed and joked the entire way there and it made the walk go fast. We approached a two-story home bustling with students. Two large windows framed by old white siding on the second floor looked out on the front yard. It wasn’t in pristine condition, but maintained well over the years. The house had a small, covered, wrap-around porch with various people on it. Most congregated in small groups holding red solo cups and chatting. Cooper stood at the door checking wristbands. His auburn locks bounced whenever he nodded at someone to come in. We climbed a few steps up to the front door.
“Hey Coop, Hunter said we didn’t need wristbands tonight,” I said nonchalantly.
Cooper looked a lot smaller than the rest of the team, and he gave me an appraising look. He took his time checking me out, making me uneasy. Cooper and I rarely crossed paths. Unless he was with Crew or one of the other guys, we had no reason to interact. The way his eyes lingered on my cleavage made me feel slimy.
His blue eyes met my own, and I knew he was about to tell us to get lost. He ran a hand through his hair and smirked, “Hunter doesn’t tell girls they can come for free…but if you make me cum, I’ll let you in.”
Keeping my face in a calm mask, I held back my revulsion. Kennedy snorted next to me and muttered “The fuck” under her breath.
Before I could inform him where he could shove his offer, the door swung open and Jackson came barreling into me.
“Maci!” He yelled, picking me up and spinning me around on the porch. He set me down and a big goofy smile took over his face. When Jackson drank, he became even more of a lovable goofball. It was all a part of his boy next door charm that girls ate up. The glassy look in his eyes and the grin on his face told me everything I needed to know about his current level of sobriety.
He looked at Cooper, and his smile dropped. “Were you giving my sister a hard time, rookie?” He asked. Cooper visibly swallowed and flitted his eyes to me. He thought I’d rat him out. Luckily for him, I didn’t care enough to make a big deal out of the situation. I grabbed Jackson’s arm and pulled him into the house, with Kennedy following behind me.
“Leave the poor kid alone Jack, we just got here.”
Jackson nodded in response, accepting my lie easily. He led us into the throes of the party. As I suspected, it was wall to wall people. Entering the house, the staircase to the upstairs was to our immediate right, and to the left was the living room, which opened into the kitchen. There was a hallway in front of us that led to the back of the house. Crew and Cooper’s bedrooms were back there, and a bathroom.
I grabbed Kennedy’s hand so I wouldn’t lose her in the mass of people. Girls were everywhere in scantily clad clothes and gyrating on anyone and anything that was nearby. Many started drinking early. Large drink coolers lined the back wall of the living room. Hockey House was notorious for its party jungle juice. Each cooler contained a mixture of cheap liquor and Kool-Aid packets. A freshman stood by the table, making sure they never emptied. I walked up and grabbed a cup for Kennedy and me. I handed it off to her, and we both made our way into the crowd. Jackson was called away by some other players.
“Want to dance?” Kennedy shouted over the noise. I nodded and we made our way into the sway of bodies. The song wasn’t recognizable but contained a heavy EDM beat. I took a long sip of my drink and swayed with Ken to the music. The Hockey team transformed the living room into a dance floor by clearing away the furniture and lighting up the space with black and strobing colored lights.
Kennedy and I danced for a while, taking turns to refill our cups. My body thrummed with euphoria from being at the perfect level of intoxicated bliss. I couldn’t feel anything but the buzz in my veins and the beat of the music. This was the feeling I constantly chased night after night. In this moment, I wasn’t Maci Rae, but another faceless soul on the dance floor.
Weightless.
As quickly as the thought flickered through my mind, it left. Wiping sweat from my brow, I yelled at Kennedy, “I’m going to go to the bathroom!”
She nodded her head and continued dancing. Kennedy’s eyes were closed and her hands waved slowly in the air. She looked blissful and hardly noticed my departure. Did she feel weightless, too? I elbowed my way out of the crowd. The world tilted slightly, and I stumbled into someone. The girl scoffed and shoved me off of her, my off kilter balance causing me to sway into the opposite wall.
“Jesus, you really are a mess,” the girl sneered, looking down at me. I resisted engaging and instead attempted to make my way around her. Her arm snatched my own, her hot pink nails digging into my biceps, holding me in place.
I looked down at her claw-like fingers. “Get your fucking hands off of me,” I seethed.
She laughed and pushed her auburn hair off her shoulders, “Oh sweetie, we all know that you won’t do a thing,”
I ripped my arm out of her hand; her nails leaving a series of small pink gauges on my arm. I pushed myself into her personal space, her mud colored eyes widening in fear.
“Want to know the best part about losing everything?” I asked, eerily calm.
The girl tried to put some distance between us, but I didn’t relent. With every step she took back, I took forward, until we were both backed into a wall. I was sick of plastic girls like her, thinking they had some kind of authority over me. I leaned in closer to her face, my lips mere millimeters away from hers. The cloying scent of her bubblegum perfume infiltrated my nostrils made me want to vomit, but I didn’t back down.
“There’s nothing left to lose,” I shoved her hard, making sure her little frame bounced off the wall. She screeched as she ricocheted into her friends. It only took a moment, but she recovered quickly and lunged at me. ‘
Alcohol made my response sluggish, and we both crashed to the floor. She began scratching and grabbing at my face and hair. A small group surrounded us, and a few of the hockey guys were yelling for bets. I dodged her feeble attempts at assault and swiftly moved my arm back. Throwing my body weight forward, I swung and hit her square on the nose. She froze, bringing both of her hands to her face while her eyes watered.
“You bitch!” She screamed, standing. Blood trickled from underneath her hands. Her heeled boot lifted, aiming to kick me in the face. I scrambled back at the same time Jackson broke through the circle. He grabbed the girl by the waist, holding her back.
“What the fuck?!” He roared, his eyes shifting from me to the girl in his arms. She tried to fight against his hold by flailing her arms and legs in the air. The moment she realized whose chest she smashed into, she relaxed.
A smirk spread across her glossed lips. “She started it!” she seethed at my brother.
The look in his eyes was pure fire. He looked between the two of us, defeated. That look alone told me who he was siding with. It didn’t matter if she grabbed me first. This would be the final straw for Jackson. This would be the moment I would look back on in my life and pinpoint losing my brother, too.
Kennedy’s arms came under my shoulders, helping to pull me up. Jackson let the girl go, whispering something in her ear that calmed her down.
When he turned back, he resembled an executioner more than my brother. “Get out,” He stated coldly. “You’re banned from Hockey House.”
The room silenced and the thump of the base continued hauntingly in the background. It mirrored the thrum of my pulse. My heart cracked, a physical ache spreading across my chest. I fisted my hand over it, as if by doing so, the beat up organ wouldn’t fall apart. A lump formed in my throat, choking me from the inside out, and tears lined my lashes. I nodded feebly, pulling my arm out of Kennedy’s grip. I couldn’t make eye contact with my brother. This was it, his last straw. The words I vehemently whispered to the redheaded girl came back to haunt me. I truly was at ground zero. Feeling like a husk of a person, I exited the house. Whispers followed in a constant buzz. Jackson didn’t come after me. There was nothing left here for me anymore.
Subconsciously, I wrapped my arms around myself and told Kennedy to stay and enjoy the night. She argued, saying she wanted to walk me home, but I wouldn’t let her. I needed to be alone right now.