4. Chapter 4
Chapter four
Aspen
W hen I get home, the sound of voices leads me to the kitchen. I hesitate when I turn the corner, an uncomfortable feeling slithering up my spine. Seated across from Ryan at the kitchen table is one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen outside of a fashion magazine. She doesn’t look exhausted at all. She looks like she’s just stepped off a runway in Paris. She has a perfectly made-up face, and her dark red hair falls in waves to the middle of her back.
She murmurs something and Ryan throws his head back, laughing while she takes a sip of wine, and judging by the open bottle on the table, it’s the wine I bought last weekend.
“I can’t believe he said that to you,” Ryan chuckles, bringing his beer to his lips while shaking his head.
Clearing my throat, I’m a bit mollified when Ryan’s eyes light up when he sees me.
“Babe, you’re home.”
He gets up and crushes me in a hug, and I take a deep breath of his scent I love so much.
“I thought it rude not to get home and introduce myself to our guest.”
Grabbing my hand, he pulls me the last few steps towards the table and introduces us. Her lips, lips that are painted the same shade of red as her hair, tip up into a smile and she holds out her hand.
“So nice to meet you,” she says, looking at me with curiosity. Fuck, even her voice is beautiful, not too high, not too low, with a timbre that’s smooth and cultured.
I settle next to Ryan, desperately casting around for something to say. I don’t know why I’m feeling so out of my depth.
“Are you enjoying the wine?” I ask as she takes a sip.
“It’s good. A bit sweet for my taste, though.” She flashes me an apologetic smile. “I’ve become accustomed to a bit of a drier blend.”
I return her smile, showing I’m not offended. A person likes what they like.
“So, Ryan and I got the apartment ready for you,” I try again. “We thought you’d prefer having some privacy while you’re here.”
“Yes, Ryan gave me a tour,” she says, keeping her eyes on him. “You’ve done well for yourself. I always knew you would.”
“Not as well as you’ve done.” He sits back, resting his arm on my shoulders.
“And you’re surprised?” she teases. “I told you to move to London. You’re wicked smart and I’ve built up a lot of connections. I know a few people who’d be happy to employ you.”
“My family is here,” he says with a lift of his shoulders, but his face falls when her lips draw down. “Hadley.” His voice is soft, compassionate, filled with a thousand unspoken meanings that I’m not privy to, as he lifts his arm from my shoulders and reaches out across the table, taking her hand.
“It’s fine. I know what you mean.” She squeezes his hand but keeps her fingers tangled in his.
I know Ryan. I’ve seen him interact with his friends. Friends he’s had since childhood, but this somehow feels different. The smile they share speaks of a closeness between them that’s not there with Bailey or Hannah. That uncomfortable feeling slithering up my spine is back, and I shift in my seat, breaking their eye contact. This time Ryan is the one squeezing her hand before he lets go and picks up his beer.
“What is it that you do? Ryan never said.”
“I’m a Quantitative Analyst for a Wealth Management Firm.”
Fuck me, I don’t even know what that is.
“That’s nice,” I say with a wan smile. No way I’m owning up to being clueless.
“Hadley keeps saying I’m smart, but she’s one of the smartest people I know. I could never beat her in an argument.”
“Not that you let that stop you from trying,” she laughs.
I turn to Ryan in disbelief. “You? Argue?” He’s one of the most laid-back guys I know. “I can count on one hand the times we’ve argued.”
“Hadley always knew what buttons to push,” he mutters, playfully narrowing his eyes at her.
“You should try it.” The wink she gives me has my hackles rising. “It keeps things fresh and interesting.”
Taking a deep breath, I tamp down my annoyance. Ryan and I aren’t like that. Things have mostly been easy between us, and I don’t see the point of creating conflict just for the sake of it. Glancing at my phone, I note the time in relief.
“Oh, wow, I didn’t realize the time. You must be exhausted after your long flight.”
She waves me off. “Not really. Business class, you know,” she says, as if I should know. I’ve never even been on a plane, let alone business class.
“No, Aspen’s right. You might not feel tired, but jet lag is a thing and we have an early day tomorrow. You might not feel it now, but you’ll thank me in the morning.”
My brow furrows. “An early day?”
As far as I’m aware, the only plan we have is to spend a couple of hours at the rescue. Time and moisture have done a number on the storage cabinets in the supply room and they’re beyond saving. They’re heavy, so Ryan’s helping me carry them outside so I can start ripping up the flooring. But that’s only late morning.
“Ryan offered to take me to see my dad.”
“You don’t mind, do you?” He stands up, looking at me in apology, his brows knitted.
“It’s okay if it is,” she says with a small grimace, cutting in before I can answer. “I’m sorry for being selfish tonight and derailing your plans. We haven’t seen each other in years, and I wanted him all to myself for a bit.” The way she smiles at him is soft, a world of meaning in the tilt of her lips.
“And whose fault is that?” Ryan says, his smile mirroring hers. “I told you the last time I flew out that it’s your turn next.”
“I know, I know. And I’ve been meaning to, but life happens, you know? Time goes by in the blink of an eye. But I’m here now.”
“Come, I’ll walk you to the apartment,” Ryan says, offering her his outstretched palm. “I’ll just be a minute.” He smiles, pressing a kiss to my lips.
Getting into bed, I fluff my pillow and lean back against the headboard, waiting for Ryan. Soon enough, he gets back, a happy smile on his face. The minutes tick by while I watch him move around the room, engaging in his nightly bedtime ritual. He’s such a creature of habit. It’s always the same routine. First, it’s his watch, then his shoes and socks, followed by his clothes—always starting with his shirt.
He never deviates.
I have watched him do this countless times, and it never gets old. It’s only one of the things that endears him to me.
“Do you want me to go with you?” I finally say, turning to him when he climbs into bed beside me. “Tomorrow,” I clarify at his questioning look.
“I think it’s better if you don’t.”
“Okay,” I mutter, taking a deep breath to push down the feeling of rejection that’s creeping up my throat. I know I shouldn’t take this personally because this is not about me, it’s about Hadley and the imminent loss she’s facing. I didn’t have anyone close enough I could lean on when Mom passed, and I would have given anything to have a friend like Ryan.
“Hey, come here,” he says, pulling me in and wrapping his arms around me. “It’s not that I don’t want you to. Hadley is…complicated. She’s always been a private person. She hates being emotional in front of people, and tomorrow will be hard for her.” He sighs, running his hand over his jaw. “I’m just trying to keep things easy for her. I don’t want her to have to pretend everything is okay when it’s not.”
Pulling back, I peer up at him. “But she doesn’t mind getting emotional in front of you?”
“I’m one of the few people she’s allowed close enough to do so. We’ve been in each other’s lives since first grade, so she’s more like family than a friend.” He gives me a crooked grin. “If it were up to me, I’d glue you to my side. You know I don’t like being apart from you on weekends. Weekends are our time.”
“I know. At least I’ll get to see you after. You’ll still come?”
“Of course.”
My jaw cracks with how big my yawn is. It took forever for me to fall asleep, and when I eventually did, it wasn’t restful. Leaning back against the counter, I rub my eyes, wishing the slow drip of the coffee machine would speed up. I’m eager to get back to Ryan and the warmth of our bed. Our lives are so busy, so we treat Sunday mornings as sacred. We sleep in, have breakfast in bed, and just laze around, catching up on things that happened in the week.
I’ve just gotten the cups down when I hear the front door opening and footsteps heading towards the kitchen.
“Morning. Ryan gave me a key. I hope you don’t mind?” Hadley says, flicking her eyes down my body. My cheeks heat and I have to clench my fingers in fists to stop them from raking through my hair. All I’m wearing is one of Ryan’s T-shirts and a pair of panties. I haven’t even brushed my teeth yet. And she’s perfectly made up, not a hair out of place.
“No, that’s fine.” I give her a weak smile and hold up the jug. “Coffee?”
“No, thank you,” she says with a little shudder. “You don’t perhaps have chamomile tea?”
“Sorry, no. I can’t say we drink tea.”
“That’s what happens when you’re gone for so long. Things change.” Her voice is soft, her eyes glazed, and I get the feeling she’s talking more to herself than to me. A quick shake of her head, and then she’s smiling at me. “No problem. I’ll ask Ryan to stop at the store on the way back. So, Aspen. Tell me a bit about yourself.” She settles at the table and fixes her eyes on me. I want to squirm with the way she’s looking at me. As if I’m interviewing for a job.
I fill my mug, contemplating whether I should make Ryan one, but then think, fuck it. He gave her a freaking key without warning me.
“What do you want to know?” I join her at the table and smile, trying to keep my voice upbeat and discomfort way down.
“You didn’t grow up here, did you? I’m sure I would have remembered you if you did.”
“Really? I know the town’s small, but it’s not that small. But you’re right. I grew up in Boston.”
“I never forget a face.”
“That must come in handy. I’m not all that good with names or faces.”
I take a sip of my coffee and stare at her over the rim of the mug.
“So, what is it you do?”
“For now, I’m a Vet Tech, but the plan is to run an Animal Rescue once I’m done renovating the building.”
I catch the look of surprise before she schools her features. It’s on the tip of my tongue to ask her why that’s surprising, but before I can, Ryan’s voice interrupts me.
“I thought I heard voices.”
I look at Ryan and immediately want to yell at him to go back to the room and dress. He’s shirtless, with a pair of shorts hanging low on his waist. Seeing him like this is nothing new. It’s no different from what he’d wear to a pool party, or when he’s playing basketball with his friends and takes his shirt off when he gets too hot. But somehow this feels different. He’s barefoot and his hair is messy, and the sleepy look in his eyes makes it clear he’s just rolled out of bed. It feels intimate, like seeing him like this should be for my eyes only. Or maybe it’s because I just don’t want Hadley to see him this way.
“What are you girls talking about?” He heads over to Hadley, wrapping an arm across her shoulders and giving her a quick squeeze.
“Just getting to know your girlfriend better.”
I watch her eyes follow him as he pulls out a chair and settles next to me.
“Weren’t you bringing me one?” he says, pointedly staring at my mug.
“That was the plan. Then Hadley came in.” Maybe my voice is a bit growly, but I’m still annoyed with him for not giving me a heads-up. I don’t know what it is about Hadley, but it feels like I need to wear a full face of makeup and my best clothes to face her. Kind of like donning a suit of armor and war paint.
He takes my mug, a slight smirk tilting his lips, and takes a sip.
I narrow my eyes at him. “Get your own. You know where the mugs are,” I mutter, liberating my cup from his clutches.
I’m peeved. I know I shouldn’t be, but I can’t help it. Today has been a shit show from start to finish. Watching Ryan and Hadley drive off didn’t sit well with me, but then I felt guilty. She’s going through a horrible time, and Ryan is being a good friend by supporting her. What kind of person does it make me for resenting Hadley for taking up his time?
Mom often told me I’m stubborn, but I’d always counter by saying I’m not stubborn, I’m determined. That’s why when the time dragged on and I couldn’t get hold of Ryan, I attempted to move one of the storage cupboards by myself. That didn’t go too well, evidenced by the gash on my arm from a piece of rotting wood when the cupboard tilted and I tried to catch it. It took forever to pick the splinters out which forced me to cut my time there short. Note to self—purchase a first aid kit and leave it in my car.
It’s now late afternoon, they’re still not back, and I’m staring like an idiot at the fridge, not knowing what to make for dinner because I have no idea what Hadley likes. Or if she has any allergies. I’m debating the options when I hear Ryan’s car in the drive, and a minute later he’s striding inside, straight to me and wrapping me in his arms.
“I’m sorry,” he breathes against my head.
“For what?”
“Bailing on you.”
“A call would have been nice,” I mutter, pulling away, annoyed. I understand his need to help her, but it doesn’t sit right with me that he couldn’t spend a minute on a call or text to keep me in the loop.
“I’m sorry, babe. It was crazy, and I didn’t realize the time.”
Trying to swallow my annoyance, I remind myself that this is not about me. “How did it go?”
Crossing his arms, he leans back against the counter, looking down at his shoes. “About as well as you can imagine. Seeing her dad did a number on her.”
“How is he doing?”
“Not good. He’s not responsive, and the doctor said it’s only a matter of time.”
“That’s rough.”
At least Mom was lucid almost until the end. I can’t imagine not having the chance to properly say goodbye.
“You haven’t given me a kiss yet,” he says, straightening and stepping in, pressing his lips to mine.
I love Ryan’s kisses. I love his lips. The shape, the warmth, and the taste of them, but this time, the faint scent of alcohol has my back stiffening.
“Wait, have you been drinking?” I say, pulling my head back.
“I had a beer with lunch,” he mumbles, looking sheepish.
“You went for lunch?”
“Hadley was…distressed. She needed something to distract her, and she asked if we could go to what used to be her favorite restaurant.”
So that’s why they’ve been gone so long. Not because she was visiting with her father, but because they were out eating and drinking. He had time for that, but not for a call or text. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I take a step back. I don’t understand why I’m suddenly feeling so emotional. Why my eyes are prickling with tears threatening to blind me.
“Guess I’m off the hook for dinner, then.”
I won’t be making any now, even if he was starving.
“Aspen.” My name leaves his lips with a sigh, and he ducks, trying to catch my eyes. “I’m sorry. I should have called you.”
“It’s fine.” I shrug, and his face drops. “No, really, it’s fine.” I take a deep breath and take another step back. “It’s been a long day and I’m tired, so I’m going to go have a bath. My muscles will appreciate a good soak.”
My smile is half-hearted at best, but it’s all I can manage.