CHAPTER 41
Emma
“You’re the other half of me,” he rasped, his gaze trapping mine. “The other half of my soul. My perfect half in every way. My parents were fated mates. It doesn’t always have to happen.”
He began running his hands over me again, a nervous habit that soothed both of us.
“On Hellplane, it was almost the norm to never find them. To search and then settle with the one that was most compatible or helpful to your clan.”
He pursed his lips as if he’d never even considered it.
“But after seeing my parents, I could never settle. My brothers didn’t know them the way I did.
Savla was so young. And Enka was just born when they died,” he explained.
“Watching that... seeing their bond. It did different things to Savla and I. Enka heard their stories from me, but I saw it first-hand.”
He pressed kisses to my face, cherishing me in that way that he had. The one that had drawn me to him from the start.
“Savla decided a long time ago that he didn’t want one, but I was with them longer.
I want the bond that they had. The love.
The joy of just being together. I’ve been searching for you my entire life.
And now that I found you,” he pulled away to look directly into my eyes again. “I’m never letting you go.”
I considered his words for a long moment, ignoring the spreading warmth and love inside of me.
“And you’ve known from the start?” I asked, removing my hands from him and settling them on my thigh.
His fingers dug into my ass for a second, as if he was trying to keep me with him—to stop me from leaving—before he released me, putting his hands on either side of his body on the bed.
But his fingers clenched there, digging into the sheets.
“Yes,” he murmured, bowing his head in shame at keeping this fact from me.
“Hmm,” I murmured, shaking my head. “And is this something that most fated mates tell their partner right away?”
He frowned, tilting his head for a moment, glancing at me before bowing his head again.
“I don’t know. My mother and father were both orcs, so the bond went both ways.
They would have recognized each other. With mates from other species, I’ve observed that most orcs tend to give their partners a chance to get to know them better first,” he explained, meeting my eyes for one second before ducking them away. “But that doesn’t give me an excuse.”
I smothered my laugh, aiming for a serious voice. “And how many couples have you observed?”
“Dristan and Penelope,” he listed, lifting one finger, “Rok and Becca,” he lifted another, “although to be honest, Rok might have told her faster if he was able to speak their language. He’d lost his family, so he was eager to find his mate.
” His eyes flickered to mine for another moment before looking away again.
“Rudgar and Zara.” He added another finger. “Enka and Tasia.” The fourth finger lifted and he held up his huge hand to me.
I leaned forward, lifting his last finger and pressing a gentle kiss to it. His wide eyes jumped to me, his lips parting in shock. “Krusk and Emma,” I murmured, smiling at him.
“I can’t blame you for not wanting to throw that at me when we first met,” I told him, shaking my head.
“I was already overwhelmed with everything that was going on personally. And well,” I shrugged.
“If it’s the norm for courting a mate of another species, then you would have just done what you learned. ”
“You’re not angry?” he asked, his head tilted as he studied me closely.
“I don’t like that you kept it from me,” I said in a slow voice.
“But I can’t say that it would have helped your case either.
I actually like that we became friends,” I explained, ducking my own head now as I grinned and shy heat crept up my face.
“Although I think I knew from the start that we were more than that.”
“I’d take anything from you,” he whispered, and I looked up into his sincere eyes, reaching out and cupping his precious face in my hands.
“I know,” I told him, a tear leaking from the corner of my eye.
The distress that blasted off of him immediately, as he swiped at it, cradling me against him, rubbing his big, calloused palm against my back told me everything I needed to know. This male would hurt himself before he ever hurt me. I knew it with every inch of my heart and soul.
“I love you, my mate,” I told him, squeezing myself tighter against him.
He stilled, his breath shuddering out of him. “Y-you accept me?” he croaked, and I nodded instead of speaking, my own voice clogged with tears.
“I thought it would be obvious,” I said, grinning down at him. “I haven’t even gotten off of you this entire time.” I pressed a kiss to his lips. Gentle and sweet. “Something that you’ll learn about your mate eventually is that when she’s angry, she doesn’t like being touched.”
I ran my hands over his strong shoulders, adoring the strength there. The place deep inside my brain that came from the females before me who equated strength with a potential mate was singing for him. The place in my heart, where I knew he was a good male was joining in.
“I love that I’m your mate,” I whispered.
“Because I love you,” I explained. “I want every bond we could ever have. I wish there was such a thing for humans. And I might not be ready for it now,” I told him, beseeching his understanding.
“But as soon as I have everything settled in my life, I promise...” I started, shaking my head, unable to finish.
“I understand too,” he pressed kisses along my shoulder and neck. Open-mouthed and longing. “I’ll wait for you until the end of time, Zemar.”
My heart.
He’d been saying it from the start. Had known all along what we would be to each other. And he’d just been waiting for me to accept him. He’d been doing everything in his power to give me what I needed. What I wanted.
To become the perfect mate.
My heart ached for this beautiful male who didn’t want anything except for the one person who would share the rest of his life with him.
The sweet, soft soul who’d known nothing but hardships in another plane but had tried to make mine so much easier on this one for no other reason than kindness and love.
He’d promised that we could be friends and I knew without a single doubt that that male would have been nothing more to me for the rest of his life if I’d asked him for it.
That kind of sacrifice. That kind of devotion that meant he would have been willing to defy his instincts for me.
If that wasn’t the purest form of love, I didn’t know what was.
While every inch of Krusk’s body strained for mine, he would have held back. He was holding back even now. His cock was a straining length in his pants, but those hands were still at his side.
Control still locked every inch of his body now.
I licked my lips, running my fingers down his chest, across his abs, feeling the ribbed muscles flex under them, and then bypassed his cock to get to his thighs.
His breathing—which was always smooth and unbroken, even when he was doing heavy lifting and sweating buckets—was panted and gasped.
The rush that I got, knowing that this big male was putty in my hands. That with a crook of my finger I could bring him to his knees. That was the most erotic moment of my life.
His big palms—hands that I’d seen lift an incomprehensible stack of weights to help one of my yoga students find her lost hair barrette that had fallen off in class—were so gentle as they made their way across my skin. His level of strength could break me without a thought.
But the care that he took with me. The way that he ensured that every touch was soft, loving and giving. That ratcheted up my arousal to a level I’d never experienced before. Especially knowing what I was to him. That there was never going to be a moment I had to worry about losing him.