17. LILLY
17
LILLY
“ W hy didn’t you tell me you’d paid for the next year?” my sister says, walking into the room.
“Shh. Mum’s asleep,” I whisper-yell at my sister as she bounds in with Harry following behind.
She drops her bag and coat on the bottom of Mum’s bed and whispers, “I’ve been visiting care homes looking for somewhere cheaper, and I just found out that she’s paid up here until the end of next year. Where did you get the money?”
I furrow my brow, wondering what the heck she’s talking about. “Are you on medication?”
“What?” She digs her fist into her hip and flicks her hair over her shoulder.
“I haven’t paid for anything. What are you talking about?” I stand and make my way out of the room.
Fern and Harry follow, and we close the door, leaving Mum to sleep.
“Come to the reception with me.” Fern throws her bag over her shoulder and clasps Harry’s hand as she struts down the hall. “I had an email saying that the payment was successful.”
“But who—” My hand flies over my mouth. The pulse in my necks quickens. If my shadow in the mask has paid for Mum’s care, Fern’s going to ask questions.
“That’s what I’m about to find out.” Her heeled boots click on the laminate floor as we step into the reception area. “I thought you’d won the lottery or something.”
I let my sister do the talking at the desk while I watch Harry play with the toy car garage in the corner of the reception. A million thoughts race through my head. It couldn’t possibly be Ash when I’m the one giving him money.
If it is my mystery masked man, then he must know who I am and how to find me. I’ve always thought I was careful, using a PO Box instead of my actual address. Maybe Hazel’s right, and he’s a former patient.
Fern wanders over to us, her face as white as the hospital sheets.
“What is it?”
She stares at me with wide eyes as if she’s seen a ghost, or worse, my masked man. “It’s Shane.”
I spin around to look through the large reception window, my stomach fluttering like it does whenever he’s around. “Where?”
“He’s paid for Mum’s care. Well, the top-up fees needed for the care package.” She shows me the printout of the receipt from reception with his signature.
Mr Shane Carter.
“Why would he do this?” I look between the paper and my sister. It’s not a small amount, and he’s paid for a year in advance.
“Has he said anything to you?” Fern pulls her brows inwards.
I shake my head. “Not a thing. Although he was here last week.”
“He came here?”
“Mum remembers him, you know. She was talking as if you were still married.”
Fern paces around the small reception area, weaving through the seating area situated around a coffee table. “Has he asked about me?” She stops in her tracks. “I’m enjoying getting to know Ant. I really like him.”
“What’s that got to do with anything?”
“Because between Mum talking like we’re still an item and then Shane paying for her top-up fees, it’s a little awks.”
“Well it’s not like your new fella is gonna visit Mum, is he?” I rush back to Mum’s room and grab my coat and bag. Passing my sister on the way back down the hall.
“Where are you going?” She spins on her heel as I rush past.
“I gotta go.” I wave my hand without looking back. “See you later. Bye Harry.”
“Bye,” he shouts, but I’m already out the door and racing to my car with the key fob in hand. My mind churning at a million miles an hour and heart beating to its own rhythm.
My palms sweat as I grip the steering wheel of my Audi, backing out of the care home car park. We chose this one as it was close by and the only one in our area that didn’t smell fusty. Even with its higher price bracket, Mum seemed to like it when she came for respite, and she was familiar with the people.
Heat blows from the car vent, warming my hands and cheeks, but another familiar warmth settles in my chest the closer I get to Shane’s house.
The setting sun casts a radiant glow on the horizon over the lake. Slowing my car down, I navigate the winding back roads, delving between hills and woodland as I approach the fork in the road. Left takes me to Kane’s farmhouse, a route my car drives itself. But today I turn right.
An uncertainty clouds my mind, like the murky waters of the lake, unable to see clearly whether Shane did that for me or for Fern. Either way, I need to thank him.
After climbing the hill to Shane’s drive, I park my car outside his house next to his Shogun. Stepping out from behind the wheel, the wind whips at my face, carrying the scent of oak and moss from the forest. Autumn leaves rustle behind me, whispering in the wind.
Only a few houses spoil the landscape and the scenic view of the lake below, but they may as well be another town away. Up here, there’s not a sound but the rustling of leaves and the symphony of birds.
I walk around to the front of the house and press the bell on the side of the oak door. The house is as old as the hills, but with all modern fixtures and fittings. A total contrast to the dilapidated farmhouse that Kane lives in.
When he doesn’t answer the door, I ring the bell again.
“Hang on. I’m coming,” he shouts.
The door opens and so does my mouth as Shane stands in front of me in nothing but black drawstring shorts. He dries his black curly hair with a towel. Water droplets sit on his shoulder like morning dew, only its sunset, bathing him in a golden glow as the sun shimmers over the lake and hills.
“Everything all right?” He lets the towel wrap around his neck, hiding the ink on his chest. But the skull chewing a bullet covering his abs smirks at me as if it knows all my secrets.
“Er…yes. I…” Scanning every inch of his half naked body and filing the memory away for later makes it difficult to form a sentence. I rub my forehead, trying to remember why I came here.
Shane steps to the side, waving his hand for me to enter. “Are you coming in?”
I step over the threshold onto the flagstone tiles that pave his hallway. It’s not the first time I’ve been here, but the energy between us is different somehow. Maybe it’s the fact he’s shirtless, or maybe it’s the fact I had an orgasm in front of him the other night. Or is it because lately all I want to do is fuck my brother-in-law?
Shane closes the door behind me. “You sure you’re all right?”
I nod, sinking my teeth into my bottom lip. “I need to talk to you. If you’re free.”
“Let me just grab a t-shirt.” He strides past the staircase and disappears into a bedroom. His house is upside down, with three bedrooms on the ground floor and the living room and kitchen upstairs.
I wait for him in his hallway at the bottom of the stairs. My fingers glide over the simple wooden frames on the wall, documenting his life. My favourite is the one of him and Kane in Army uniforms, ready to embark on their first tour. Both boys look so young, and it’s no secret a man in uniform makes me hot.
Especially Shane in his police uniform makes my pulse quicken and those handcuffs he has hanging from his waist. The next framed image is him as a boy with his dad, fishing on the lake. I step onto the first tread to get a better look at the next image.
My breath halts when I see a chubby little girl sitting on Shane’s broad shoulders at a music festival while I lick at an ice cream.
“That was a good day, wasn’t it?”
I hadn’t realised he was standing next to me as I was transported back twenty years.
He points to the photograph. “I reckon I got more of that ice cream than you did.”
I smile, remembering it dripping on his head. “I can’t believe you have this up.”
He shrugs. “I found a few of your sisters’ black and white photos from college after we divorced, mainly ones she’d taken of me. I asked if she wanted them back, but she didn’t, so I thought I’d frame a few of them. She took some good scenic ones of the lake.” He points to the large framed black-and-white image behind me.
I turn my head, but before I can gaze at the image, his eyes capture mine. Standing on the first tread of the staircase in my pumps, we’re the same height. His lips inches from mine, his minty breath on my cheek sends a shiver of delight to my centre.
My chest rises with each intake of air. I imagine his lips on me, his arms lifting me effortlessly like he did in the picture, only this time in my mind, he’s carrying me to bed. Locked in this trance with him, I can’t seem to move or speak. And I know it’s wrong to want him, but I can’t help it.
“Come up.” His eyes flick from mine to my lips, then back again.
“What?” My brain fights through the haze to make sense of his words.
“Come upstairs,” he says it in a deep gruff tone that makes my walls clench.
Anyone else speaking those words could be an invitation to go to bed. I imagine it is, and we’re already there. Then I remember my sister. My stomach twists into knots. I was a bridesmaid at their wedding. If I ever got married, I’d always imagined having my sister as maid of honour. I doubt she’d even come if I were to marry Shane.
I shake the thoughts from my head. He only asked me to come up to his kitchen, and I’ve taken it as a marriage proposal.
“Have you eaten?”
“No.”
“I’ll cook us something.” He points up the stairs.
I spin around and hold on to the wooden bannister as I climb the polished oak staircase. Shane’s two steps behind me as I reach the top and walk into his open plan living space.
I’d forgotten how beautiful the view was from his floor to ceiling windows overlooking the hills and lake below as it swallows up the sun. “It’s stunning up here.”
“Yes, it is.” He smiles as he gazes at me standing in front of his window. “How about I cook your favourite creamy pasta?” he says, pulling a beer from the fridge and offering me one.
I shake my head. “I’m driving.”
“I have three bedrooms. You can stay the night.” He offers me the beer again.
“I’m not a teenager anymore.” If I stayed the night, the only bedroom I’d be sleeping in is his. I search his face, wondering if that’s what he wants. The longer I’m alone with him, the less I can fight off my feelings.
“I can see that. I just want you to know that you can stay here whenever you want. Whenever you’re feeling lonely or whatever.”
“How do you know I get lonely?” My heart thuds in my chest as I recall everything I said on the live to my masked man.
“Because you live alone like I do. I know what it’s like.” He points to the large windows. “That sunset isn’t half as beautiful when you’re alone and don’t have anyone to share it with.”
I bite into my bottom lip. “Don’t you ever invite anyone over?”
“The lads come over, but you’re better to look at than Kane or Dom, that’s for sure.”
“Oh yeah, I remember. You think I’m gorgeous.” I look away, hiding my smile.
He lets out a small chuckle. “I also think you have too much sass.”
“Did you just say I have too much ass?” My hands pull at my tunic, making sure it covers my arse in these leggings.
Shane laughs with a mouthful of beer. “Sass, trouble. I said sass, but now you mention it…” He points the bottle at me with his eyes flicking to my hips.
I swat at his chest, but he grips my wrist.
“You’ll never hear me complaining about the size of your ass, trouble.”
“You just like to tease me about my skin and braces.”
“How long are you gonna hold that against me?” He opens a cupboard and lifts out a carbonara sauce and a bag of pasta.
“You don’t have to cook for me. I only came because I’d been to the care home and?—”
“I want to cook for you.” He scratches the back of his neck as he clears his throat. “I mean, I’m cooking my meal, anyway. Besides, it’s hardly cooking. I’m just throwing a jar of sauce onto pasta.”
“It should be me cooking for you. I still owe you a meal for fixing my bed.”
“You can cook next time. I’ll fix your leaky tap while I’m there.”
My stomach flutters, hoping this can be a weekly thing. It will certainly make a change from cooking and eating alone.
Once he has the pasta simmering in the pan, he sits across from me at the kitchen island, sliding me a glass of sparkling lemonade. “So what did you want to talk about?”
“You paid the top up fee for Mum’s care package.” The pulse in my neck throbs as I recall telling my masked man about the problems with my mum’s care plan. I wonder if the two men are the same. Is it wishful thinking? Either way, both men are elusive to me. One’s off-limits and the other won’t even show me his face.
“I had some money saved. Thought it would help you out. I hope I didn’t overstep. It’s just I knew if I offered, you wouldn’t take it.” He huffs. “And your sister certainly wouldn’t entertain it.”
“How did you know? I never told you her money had run out.”
He scratches the back of his neck. “I heard you and Fern talking about it when I fixed your bed.”
“Oh.” I relax my shoulders, slumping against the island. I don't remember talking about it the day he was fixing my bed, but we've been looking at care homes for months, so it makes sense that he could have heard us. I silently curse myself for thinking he could be my mystery man. Shane wouldn’t pretend to be someone else just to see me get off.
Would he?