Chapter 13
Chapter Thirteen
Rhett
After driving up and down Roots Road to point out all the businesses and stopping for lunch at PorkScrew Barbecue, we finally pull into Copper Hill’s gravel driveway. A large copper gate at the front with the letters “CH” in the center welcomes us as I punch in the code.
Olivia takes in the scenery around us. The entry to Copper Hill looks incredibly rural. You can’t see the barn or the main house from the road. It’s just sprawling green fields on either side.
“Where are we? What are we doing here? Did you take me here to murder me?” Olivia’s eyes go round in fake horror. “This must be where you keep the supplies and dump the bodies! I knew something was off with you.”
I pull up to my usual parking spot near the barn. “No, I didn’t bring you here to murder you. If I was going to do that, I would’ve brought you way further from town, and I would’ve left Maverick at home.” I give her a sly smirk as horror crosses her face. “You’ve been watching too much Dexter . I just thought I’d help you see the beauty of Roots.”
“And this barn is where it’s all hiding?”
“Stop being a smartass and come see what I mean.”
I leap out and open the truck door for her and Maverick, leading them toward the barn while I remind myself that it doesn’t matter how much I enjoy her witty remarks or the beautiful smile on her face whenever she catches me off guard. Nothing will ever happen between us. These feelings I have are only temporary. Love doesn’t exist, at least not for me. It doesn’t matter how hard I try, I can never be good enough to keep love in my life, so my best option is to keep today about doing a favor to Jack and Mandi. That’s all this is. That’s all anything has been with Olivia since she came to town.
“Where are we?” Olivia asks
I slide the giant barn door open and try not to let it go to my head as I catch her ogling me out of the corner of my eye. Nothing will ever happen between you two. Stop caring.
“This is Copper Hill, the largest ranch in Roots, and the whole county. This is where I work and where your parents got the steaks for your welcome dinner.”
She nods, silently taking it all in and eagerly peering past me inside the barn. Maverick follows her every move, his nose to the ground sniffing like it’s his job.
“Have you ever ridden a horse?”
“A couple times when we would visit my grandma and grandpa, but it’s been ages since I’ve been on one. I wish I’d had the chance to do it more. I think you’ve learned by now that I love pretty much anything with fur,” Olivia says as she strokes the top of Maverick’s head.
“We can get you set up on Maggie. She’s the sweetest, most mellow horse you’ll ever meet. She won’t take off on you, and she obeys orders better than any horse I know. We teach all the beginners how to ride on her. I want to take you out on the trails around here, and we can’t take my truck up them, so we have to go by horse. There’s a— you know what, I’ll let that be a surprise.”
“What is it with you and surprises? Just tell me what it is now.”
“Can you please just let this be a surprise? I promise it’ll be worth it. It’s not like I let you down with the last surprise I had for you.”
I walk to the far-left stall in the barn and lead Maggie out. I washed her beautiful tan coat and brushed her blonde mane yesterday, so this is a perfect day to take Olivia out on her. She gives me a gentle whinny in greeting as I stroke the crooked white line down her snout and hook her lead to get her tacked up.
“Olivia, come say hi to Maggie.”
Olivia’s eyes light up, but I can sense a little hesitation. I slowly lead Maggie to her, tying her lead up, and showing Olivia how to approach her. The second Olivia strokes her snout, I can tell she’s in love.
I grab my horse, Archie, a dark Appaloosa with a white rump hosting dark speckles. Once both the horses are tacked up, I help Olivia get into the stirrups and onto Maggie. She’s a complete natural on a horse, needing very little instruction on how to sit or how to hold the reins. She looks like she was born to be on a ranch. I guess her visits to her grandma and grandpa couldn’t have been too long ago.
To my surprise, Maverick also looks like a seasoned vet on the ranch, gently sniffing Maggie and Archie before leaving them alone.
I lead Olivia and Maggie around the arena out back until Olivia’s comfortable giving Maggie commands on her own. Then, I grab Archie and lead us toward the trails, whistling for Maverick to follow.
The trail we take winds up around the hillside. It’s shady but hosts a beautiful view of the ranch below. Olivia takes it all in with awe.
“It’s incredible, huh? The Rhodes family has owned Copper Hill for five generations.”
“Wow. That’s insane! I can’t even imagine growing up here. That seems like a lot of pressure to keep it in the family after all this time.”
“That’s probably why their son, Charlie, left a few years ago. At least that’s my guess.”
“You mean people actually do leave Roots? I thought no one ever leaves.” She smirks.
“When you’ve grown up here, there are usually two paths. Either you never want to leave, or you spend your whole life plotting how to get out. There’s no in-between.”
She takes in the beautiful green fields flecked with cattle. I wonder if this is giving her a new appreciation for Roots or if she’s thinking about how much she misses the ocean back home.
“Was this Charlie Rhodes guy supposed to inherit the ranch?”
“Yeah, the ranch has been passed down to the first male of the family for generations. It’s going to his younger sister, Lauren, now. She stayed in Roots and is getting married soon. Her fiancé, Austin, seems really interested in the business. He’s always going to other ranches to see how processes are done in other places and trying to improve operations here.”
“I guess even small towns have scandals and secrets.”
“I’m not sure I’d call it a scandal that Copper Hill is going to someone besides the first-born son for once.”
“Yeah, but I’m sure it was a big deal at the time when Charlie left. I’ll have to ask Callie about that. She seems to be in on all the town gossip.”
At her statement, I grow rigid. I’m sure Callie hasn’t said a word to Olivia about my past, but the thought of Olivia knowing still makes my stomach churn.
The first thing I did when I moved to Roots was make Callie promise to never tell a soul about where I came from and why. I made some mistakes that still haunt me, and I’m doing the best I can to move on from them, but it’d be a lot harder to move on if the people of Roots knew. They’d look at me differently in more ways than one. There’d be some who take pity on me and others who’d blame me. I like the way things are right now.
“You two seem close,” Olivia notes, snapping me out of my thoughts.
“Who?”
“You and Callie.”
“She was one of the first people to accept me in Roots. She’s like a garter snake. She seems harmless, but she will just slither right into your life. It’s impossible to keep her at a distance.”
Olivia roars in laughter. “Callie’s not a garter snake! Snakes freak me out. She’s more like a happy little puppy you want to have by your side all the time, like Maverick.” She gestures to Maverick, who is trotting alongside Maggie, a mushy look in his eyes as he looks up at Olivia.
“Yeah, I guess so.”
“You don’t seem too keen on letting people into your life, or even dogs for that matter. Is there a reason for that?” she asks slowly.
I flinch. We are creeping into dangerous territory.
“I could say the same for you. You won’t even let your parents into your life.”
“This isn’t about me, Rhett, and you know I’m trying to get help. I’m asking about you .”
“It’s hard to let people in sometimes. We all have our own darkness, I guess, that keeps us from letting people in, from letting people love us. Not all of us have been so lucky to find unconditional love that lasts.”
“Who didn’t give you unconditional love that lasts?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
She looks disappointed, but she simply sighs and says, “I’m sorry you haven’t been loved the way you deserve. I can tell my parents love you though… a lot. It’s annoying.”
“They love you a lot too.”
“Yeah, I know.”
“You have so much going for you. You have a family that knows your darkness and wants to love you anyway. Don’t waste that. Going to therapy doesn’t mean you’re making an effort with your parents. It’s actually the opposite, since I know you’re just doing it so they’ll stop worrying about you. You should spend some more time with them while you’re here.”
“I just had breakfast with them this morning. What more do you want?”
“For you to talk to them about your life, to accept their love and their help. You don’t have to be on your own, but you’re choosing to be. I don’t get it.”
“I don’t know. It sounds like a good idea when you put it that way, but I haven’t been happy in a while, and everything I’ve done in my life up to this point has been to satisfy them. I’d hate for them to see that their love led me to such a dark place.”
I meet her gaze, hoping I can get through to her. “You wouldn’t be ungrateful if you told your parents you want to change directions in life. You’re young. You’re not supposed to know what you want to do with your life now, let alone two years ago when you graduated college. You still have so much life experience to gain. That lost feeling you have right now, that feeling of hopelessness, it’ll change. You just need to give yourself some time and some grace. Your parents will help you figure things out if you let them. They won’t be mad that you’re unhappy. They’ll probably be upset that you’ve kept it from them, but they would never be upset with you for feeling that way.”
“I don’t know. It feels too late to change my mind. This was my dad’s dream for me, and I spent all this time and money on degrees and licenses…”
“None of that should matter. It’s in the past. You just need to look at how you’re going to move forward.”
“That seems a little ironic coming from the man who just told me some bad past experiences make you unworthy of love. Look at you now. People in Roots love you. One bad experience shouldn’t overshadow all the good you have now.”
Instinctively, my guard goes up. “It wasn’t just one bad experience. It was my parents and then—it wasn’t just one bad experience.”
“You’re a good guy, Rhett. You’re worthy of love. You can’t?—”
“We’re about to reach the surprise. Let me help you down from Maggie so you can take it in.”
I want to sink into the comfort of her words, but I know better. I’ve had this conversation before. I let myself be convinced things were a fluke, but it was all taken away from me. I’m not making that mistake again.
As I help Olivia slide off of Maggie, my hand meets the bare skin of her waist. It makes it impossible to think straight. If this small touch causes such a big impact, I wonder what it would feel like to be able to touch other parts of her, to caress her face and kiss her lips, to— snap out of it.
We reach the end of the trail, and everything opens up. “Look!” I point toward the horizon. The landscape is flat, so you can see not only Copper Hill, but Roots Road, the glistening river that winds through town, and even my property. At this time of year, everything is green and vibrant, but we can also see patches of red and yellow that mark the beautiful wildflowers that grow around here. It’s my favorite view in the entire world, but today, as I watch Olivia’s eyes sparkle with amusement, the sun shining on her face and illuminating the tiny freckles on her cheekbones, all I can focus on is her.
“It’s incredible up here. You can see everything.” She bites her lower lip as if she’s trying to tame her reaction to all of this. God, she’s beautiful. And stubborn but brave and devoted. And infuriating but magnetic. Except none of that matters because I can’t have her.