6. Chapter 5
Ivy – Three Days Later
I gently chew my bottom lip as I watch Tate run around the common room full of giggles, welcoming all the attention off the brothers before her Grammy takes her back to Fury’s house for the night and the brothers can party without scarring the girl for life, something I didn’t get the privilege of growing up.
Fury who is currently busy at the garage would kick their butts if they allowed Tate to witness their dirty escapades including threatening bodily harm to the club girl’s if they didn’t dress appropriately around her.
Something Lacey likes to try and take advantage of who believes she has more sway being Tate’s egg doner and yes, I said what I said and I’ll stick by it one hundred percentage.
She isn’t her mother, and even Tate understands the difference now.
The woman only pays attention to her if Fury is around, something he knows, and the only reason why she’s even at the club is because Fury doesn’t want Tate to hate him as she gets older or allow Lacey to get in the little girl’s head about how he stopped her having access.
If I had it my way, her ass would be out of the club and away from Tate. It won’t be long until she claims to be pregnant again by a brother, given how she gets around them.
The woman needs a good slap, and Fury needs to pull his head out of his ass and finally kick her out. It’s been three years, and the woman has had f-all to do with his daughter. If anything, Skylar is her mama through and through.
I sigh and lean back as the brothers' laughter surrounds me, my eyes taking in the scene before me, watching how they talk and smile while I keep my eyes out for a certain someone, but of course, he’s MIA.
Maybe I could get Mama to send a fake message to get me out of this place and away from the pain I’m feeling just being in the vicinity as Psycho, the man I have dodged since walking out of his house three days ago with a broken or well, more like shattered heart, the brothers not realizing I was doing the walk of shame instead believing I stayed in the spare room.
I shake my head, knowing I can’t put her in that position.
Dad is still trying to win her back after his five mess-ups, and I know he’ll use her text as an excuse to go with me, and I won’t do that to Mama.
At the moment, she’s doing everything she can to find who she is since leaving, and I know she’s trying to figure out if she can live without Dad or if she can forgive him and try again.
If you ask me, she needs to stay away from the club for a good few years.
Maybe that will prove whether or not Dad can be trusted.
“I should have dodged my brother's call about today,” I mutter, eyeing everyone.
I notice Dad's eyes already on me, most likely assessing when he can pounce like he always does when I’m here, which isn’t much, especially since the whole Psycho situation where I haven’t been here at all, but today is different.
I can’t dodge it without raising red flags, and again, I won’t bring the brothers to Mama’s doorstep.
It’s family day, a day I didn’t want to attend, knowing who I’ll have to see.
“I love you, Ivy. I always have, but this has to be a one-time thing. It can’t happen again, and I uh, I think we should go back to how we were before last night.”
His whispered words float through me as he cupped my cheek, heartbreak shining in his eyes after he walked out of his bathroom fully dressed, looking nervous, making me flinch.
“I love you with my whole fucking being, I have for a very long time, probably way before I should have.”
He’s lying, he has to be.
It doesn’t matter how many times he said it. If he truly loved me, he would be selfish and ensure that I didn’t leave. He would have made sure that I was his always, right? Or am I sounding immature?
But club brothers when they love, they hold onto the woman they claim in their hearts, then claim them in the eyes of the club and make them theirs, right?
Yet Psycho walked away from me.
I get it, he thinks my life is away from the club, but the only reason why I decided to look into moving to New York is because I knew I couldn’t watch him with other women.
I know that’s an immature way of looking at things, but I can’t seem to get over him, now even more so.
I have always wanted to visit the big apple but Dad refused to fund me despite what the brothers believe so I’ve been saving up as much as I can and I know I could tell him those were my reasons for going but I-I, dammit.
I want him to fight for me, to want me with him, to make me see he means what he says.
But isn’t he doing that by letting you spread your wings?
A voice whispers, and I blink, trying to ignore my rational thoughts, wanting my irrational thoughts to take over for a little while, allowing myself to be immature something deep down I know will come and bite me in the ass.
I sigh. Three nights ago, I was the one who started it, I was the one who kissed him first; I made the first move, showing him that I want him for him, that I’m in love with him and want out of the friendzone but after giving me the best sex I have ever had – five times to be exact – and pleasure I have never experienced, he dropped the bomb that we can’t be together despite professing his love for me.
Lies, all complete lies….
Or that is what I’m trying to believe, because if he did love me and he’s doing this, then he’s hurting us both for nothing.
But so are you for not telling him the truth. The voice whispers again and I squeeze my eyes tight, ignoring it as sadness flitters through me.
He didn’t fight for me, for us, my best friend didn’t fight, instead he just kneeled before me and gave me all shitty excuses when I know the truth; he’s scared.
Growing up, we’ve watched the brothers treat their women like crap.
We’ve watched the heartbreak and chaos after their egos take over, believing that if they strayed, their women would still be there because they’re club brothers earning good money, even better money if they were officers.
I know it’s something he doesn’t want to do, but this is me, his best friend, we’re talking about.
We’re different… or so I thought.
I shake my head before looking towards the officer’s bedrooms where Drippy, a newly patched brother, said Psycho was after I arrived, believing I was here to see him, that was an hour ago.
Maybe I should just get it over with and speak to him, maybe see if he’ll give us a chance if I explain my reasons for leaving town, reasons that have everything to do with him.
Maybe if I fight for us, he’ll see we’re worth it and that we’re different and he’ll want to fight back.
Hope fills me the more I big myself up and I move to stand, adamant to fight for us but a figure shows in the mouth of the hallway making me freeze and tears blur my vision as a just screwed look Misty walks out.
Her makeup smeared, her clothes shrewd and her hair a tangled mess and my heart shatters.
She may have been in a different room, my rational voice whispers, and I swallow hard, listening to it for once but all hope dashes though when her eyes come straight to me, eyes full of glee and she grins wide while walking over to the other girls, her eyes never leaving me and my heart sinks knowing what room she came out of before Psycho walks out next, running a hand through his hair, smeared makeup smudged on his white t-shirt and the tears building want to fall.
Oh god, he slept with her after sleeping with me, didn’t he?
He begins to look around the room and I suck in a breath and scoot down a little in my chair trying to ignore the bile rising at the thought of them together.
Praying he doesn’t spot me because I know I’ll fall apart at the guilt that will most likely show in his light brown eyes but Tate squeals seeing him, getting his attention as she runs over to him and he quickly grabs her and swings her around making my heart flutter.
I watch her say something to him before he pats his pockets and he frowns then says something to her all while my breathing becomes choppy as I hear Misty’s cackle to my right, the other club girl’s all cheering for her.
“I knew he wouldn’t push you away for long,” I hear Chasity gloat, but I don’t take my eyes off the duo before me.
The little darling nods as Psycho puts her back down.
She rushes over to her grandpa, dodging Lacey, who tries to grab her, making the woman scowl and stomp her foot while Psycho goes back the way he came, most likely to grab a lollipop for Tate that he normally carries with him, something I used to melt at, and I take my chances.
Without looking at anyone, knowing I’m on the verge of sobbing, without staying and confronting him like I should, without realizing things may not be as they seem, I stand and quickly make my way to the front door, ignoring the loud cackles from the club girls.
I’m not coming back here again, I can’t.
Allowing my rational thoughts to take over, I quickly rush out of the clubhouse without gaining attention on myself, but gasp as I bump into a hard chest and two large hands grab my shoulders.
“Ives, what’s wrong?” my brother asks and I shake my head without making eye contact knowing he’ll see the unshed tears and mutter, “Nothing,” before trying to get out of his hold knowing I’m seconds away from sobbing my shattered heart out but he tightens his grip and demands, “Talk to me.”
I sniffle and look at him, and he frowns, seeing I’m close to breaking. I choke, “Three days ago Psycho and I slept together,” his grip gets even tighter as his jaw locks and I sob, “And three minutes ago he walked out of the officer’s hallway with a freshly screwed look Misty who gloated.”
Even as I say the words, I regret them knowing he’ll go in guns blazing and I’m not a hundred percent sure she even slept with him, just allowing my emotions and fear to take over.