Chapter 15 #3
“And Wes might feel like he’s losing you.” Fuck, why was it so complicated? I squeezed his hand. Having his mother come home should have made things easier, shouldn’t it? My chest pinched, and I breathed through it.
“I can handle Wes. I think he’s just emotional about Mom and needs to work through his feelings.” Shaking his head, he said, “It’s too much to think about. First, we have to get Mom released.”
Maybe I was overwhelming him. “Okay, let’s wait to make plans until this parole hearing is over.” I pulled on his hand and leaned toward him. “Come here.”
He came in close and pressed a lingering kiss on my mouth. “I’m sorry I don’t have something more solid for you.”
“It’s okay. We’ll work it out.” I should probably head home. Rising from the table, I said, “Walk me out?”
“Of course.” He followed me to the door, and we faced each other. Taking my hands in his, he said, “I love you, Casey.” His throat dipped with a swallow. “I don’t think I’ve loved anyone as much as you.” As his brows wrinkled, he fixated on me. “I don’t know what the future holds, but—”
“We’ll find a way, babe. We have to.” A deep ache surrounded my heart. “I’ve loved no one this much, and losing you feels…” I bit my lip and released it. “It feels horrible.”
“Don’t even talk like that.” As his gaze searched my face, his eyes grew glossy. “I’ll see you soon.”
“Okay.” With a curt nod, I kissed him again and ambled through the doorway. Why did it feel like I was losing him already? I clutched my t-shirt over my chest as I meandered along the walkway to my car. I’d worry about this after the parole hearing.
The first day of classes came, and I had a grueling practice in the dome. I hadn’t been myself. The conversation with Wes and Ryker haunted the back of my mind. Especially his response to me. His family needed him. I showered with the guys and dressed at my locker.
Eli lumbered to me, a towel wrapped around his waist and his hair damp. “What’s eating you?” He planted a hand on the top of my locker. “You weren’t your usual happy-go-lucky Carter today.”
With a shrug, I dropped my towel and slid my underwear up my legs. I could talk to Eli. “If I have to leave the state, Ryker might not come with me.” My stomach clenched. Hearing the words out loud was the worst.
“What? Why not? I thought you two were solid?” His brows dipped. “Oh, his family.”
“Yeah.” I dropped my shirt over my head and then lifted my shorts up my legs. Did I wish to discuss it now? I trailed my gaze around the room. No one was paying attention to us. “Get dressed and walk with me.”
“Sure.” With a sigh, he padded to his own locker and got dressed.
After grabbing my backpack, I fell in line with Eli and left the facility. As the bright sunshine hit my face, I squinted and threw my sunglasses on my face.
“So, talk to me.” Eli lumbered along beside me.
“Ryker’s mom has a parole hearing in a few weeks and could be released before the holidays.” I huffed a sigh. How could such good news for them mean bad news for me and Ryker?
“Okay, and?” He glanced at me.
“And…Wes is afraid of losing Ryker to me after his mom comes home.” I worried my lip. I’d grown to love Wes as a younger brother, and I certainly didn’t want to hurt him.
“What are Ryker’s plans after his mom comes home?” Eli furrowed his brows. “Didn’t Ryker have his own place before she went to prison?”
“Yeah, he must have. The apartment he lives in is a two-bedroom that used to be his mom’s, with all her stuff in it.” My eyes widened. We’d never discussed where his stuff was. Had he lived by himself, or with Dylan, or what? Did he have a storage unit now?
“Where will Ryker live when his mom comes home? Will they rent a bigger place, or will he share a room with his brother?” He faced me as we both stopped along a palm tree lined walkway.
“He said he’d sleep on the couch. We threw around the idea of his moving in with me.” I stared at Eli. “I mean, with us, if it’s okay with everyone. JJ will move out as soon as his new house is ready for him and Holden.”
“Yeah, and JJ has the primary bedroom. Why don’t you just move into JJ’s room with Ryker, and we’ll use your room for quiet studying?
” He smirked at me. “No one in the house will care if Ryker moves in with us. We all like the guy.” He patted my shoulder.
“And he’s good for your game when things are going well between you. ”
Warmth swept through my chest. I loved these guys. “Thanks, Eli. It’s good to know we have that option.” We…I’d become a we. “It wouldn’t be for a few months though. We don’t know when they’ll release his mom.”
“Okay, so move into the primary when JJ leaves, and then Ryker can join you when he’s ready.” Eli lowered his brows. “Why is this so hard?”
I inhaled deeply. “Because…” It meant commitment, and I wasn’t sure we’d stay together if I left. “What if, when I get my contract, he decides to remain here and not move with me to whatever city I end up in?”
“Casey, you don’t know what the future holds. What if he’s so madly in love with you and your fat NFL contract, he’s happy to go with you?” Eli sniggered. “He may never have to work again.”
“But he really prides himself on his business.” An ache wound through my chest. “And his brother will think I’m stealing him.
I don’t want that.” This was looking more like a losing proposition for us.
Under my breath, I said, “Maybe I should cut my losses now and break it off.” My eyes stung.
Fuck, this was not like me. I never saw the negative side of a situation.
“Casey, what the fuck is wrong with you?” Grabbing both my shoulders, Eli turned me to face him and said, “Stick this out. If the two of you are meant to be, it’ll happen. You’ll make it work.” He fixated on me. “What if you end up in LA? Then you can fly here to see him, or he can fly out there.”
“What if I end up back East, like New York?” I swallowed hard. How could I return to my optimistic self? This was killing me right now.
“So? Planes fly between here and New York.” He smirked. “You make it work. It doesn’t matter.” His gaze grew hard. “Don’t give up on him right when he needs you.”
My mouth dropped open. Fuck, was that what I was doing? The going got tough, and I was giving up? That wasn’t me. “You know what? You’re right.” I’d find a way to make everyone happy in this situation. There had to be a way.
“That’s the Casey Carter I know.” He patted my cheek. “Let this shit unfold, but have a plan to work toward and keep at it.”
“A plan…” With a nod and a quick grin, I said, “Yes, a plan.” I wasn’t sure what it was yet, but I’d make sure me and Ryker stayed together.
“Thanks, Eli. This little pep talk is what I needed.” With a half-hug, I said, “Gotta go to class. See ya.” I sauntered down the walkway toward my first class.
Along the way, my phone buzzed in my pocket, and I slipped it out. A text message displayed.
Ryker
With all the shit that went down last weekend, I forgot to ask you about Wes’s game on Friday. He’d like you to come. Can you?
I typed as I strolled.
Casey
Of course. I wouldn’t miss it.
Shit, our opening game against Northern Arizona University was the next night. I quickly typed.
Casey
I’ll get tickets for you and Wes to come to our opener the next night. Is that okay?
Ryker
Yes, Wes would love that.
The three dots flickered at me.
Ryker
And so would I.
With a broad smile, I opened the door to my classroom building and stepped inside. Casey Carter had his mojo back.