Chapter 47
It was movie night.
We were all making an effort to help her settle in. She was having trouble, though. Every morning she woke in our arms less sick by the day, but it wasn’t enough. She wouldn’t admit it to any of us, but we all knew. The meds wouldn’t stabilise her forever, and her heat was approaching quickly. She should be nesting.
She was so fucking perfect, curled up in my embrace on a huge couch facing a TV that spanned almost the entire wall. The Forbes mansion was nothing if not stacked.
It was evening, and we were watching a movie. I wasn’t really focused on it, though.
I didn’t know how to be, with thunder and lightning in my arms, the most beautiful scent on the planet.
My burner phone buzzed, and I glanced at it, then stifled a growl. Lev needed to leave off. It was getting ridiculous, and my instincts misfired every time I saw his name on my phone screen. Our last texts (not involving cat pictures) went something like:
Lev: There are only three of you in that pack, right? Heat is going to be rough. Let me know if you need a fourth.
Me: We can handle our Omega.
Me: If your cell number ends up in one more cat picture, I’ll fucking skin you.
I’d received nothing to that but a middle finger emoji.
And another Lucy video.
Prick.
“Kyan.” Glade’s whisper ripped me from my thoughts.
“Yeh?” I asked.
“We never talked about…” She frowned, chewing on her lip. The word was just for me, the sound of the movie drowning our voices from the others. “I mean. We don’t have to, but… before everything happened with Ace…” She trailed off, like she didn’t know how to say it.
I shifted so I was facing her.
I’d been so pissed at Knight for telling her that day, but a lot had happened since. It had put this all into perspective. And I know for a fact that they had been talking about sappy shit earlier because neither of them knew how to lock the bond down. Getting left behind wasn’t on the agenda when it came to our omega.
I tucked her hair behind her ear. The action scene of the fantasy movie we were watching, drowning our words to the others.
“I almost… left…” I whispered. “Left you. Left Knight and Zed. Left… everything.” I felt the goosebumps rising on her skin at my words.
“It’s okay,” I said. “Knight taught me it was okay to love you even after what happened. He helped me see I was allowed to believe in you. No matter what.”
And so I had.
And I still would.
It’s why I knew this wasn’t over. Not yet. Not even in this hidden mansion.
“You’re the other half of me,” I whispered. “I trust you. Life or death, truth or lies, there’s nothing that can change what’s between us. For me, the same one who turns the world is the same one who halts it.” I swallowed. “I know love isn’t supposed to be like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like… Everything I am.”
That’s what people said, at least. But people who said that didn’t understand what they had. For them, loving too hard might mean being left with nothing. That meant something came before. Loving Glade was the first time I thought I could have something for… me. Something I could claim, could nurture, could protect.
But after she’d left, after I’d almost given up, Knight had helped me learn the other half of that truth: I should never have burdened her with that.
It was why I couldn’t do this without him, either. I was still pissed about the other day. How could he doubt, for a moment, how important they all were to me? He was to me? I’d always loved her. And… and him at the same time. If she was here or not, nothing changed.
That was the whole point.
My love for her didn’t have to be conditional on her acceptance. It didn’t have to mean she chose me, or was near me, or even wanted me. He’d taught me that it was okay to just… carry love. To have it with me, no matter what.
And when you learned that, love wasn’t dangerous anymore.
“I love you, Glade,” I whispered. “More than anything else in the world. I love you like…” I trailed off, not even knowing how to put words to it.
“Like… a soul match,” she whispered, curling closer, chestnut eyes holding mine.
I’d heard the term before. It was rare, so much so that some people didn’t believe it was real. But Glade had always smelled like a lightning storm to me, even when I knew it wasn’t the same for my pack. It was something special. Something… different, just between the two of us.
She was my other half. I was drawn to her always, no matter how far apart we were, like magnets. A piece of me that had existed before I’d taken my first breath, and would remain tangled with my soul no matter what happened.
I pulled her closer. “Just like that,” I breathed.
She leaned up, drawing my lips to hers, and the kiss was like its own lightning strike, static with every touch, her scent drowning me completely.
Until she drew back. Her smile was beautiful as her fingers slid down my arm. She found another bracelet on my wrist. There were only three left, now. Two, once she slid it off and put it on.
I smiled but it didn’t feel right on my face. I waited for her scent to shift, but the change never came. Something was wrong.
I knew the truth.
She’d done it yesterday, too, stealing another of my bracelets off and putting it on—I could see it right now, beside the one she’d just taken—but it wasn’t right.
I’d seen the look in her eye when she’d done it the first time—when she’d stolen one from me in the warehouse, thinking I didn’t know—I remembered the way her scent had changed. But this time, it never changed.
She was faking nesting. For me. For us.
But it wasn’t good enough.
I held her for a while longer—enough time that she wouldn’t connect my departure with the bracelet—then made an excuse to go. She didn’t seem suspicious, easily slipping into Knight’s arms as I left.
It didn’t take long for me to write the words as I sat alone on a barstool in the grand kitchen. But for an age, I held the letter I so desperately didn’t want to send, signed at the bottom with a singular ‘M’.
It was dangerous. Plans had changed so fast in the last little while, and I wanted more time. But time wasn’t on our side, and we were running out of options.
Staying in this place carried more risk with every day that passed.
We’d failed her again, and her trust was shot. We couldn’t survive like this—she didn’t deserve it, not for one moment more than she needed to. And I had no idea how long we would be safe here.
Carefully, I tucked the letter into an envelope and sealed it.
Tomorrow, at last, I could tell my brothers the truth I’d been keeping all these years.