42. Well, Friends Are In Short Supply
42
Well, Friends Are In Short Supply
Aliza
O f all the things that had happened to me since my fateful camping trip, jogging was probably the worst. I’d set off into the dusk with grand ideas of lapping the grounds with my ponytail swinging and a dewy glow to my skin. It hadn’t taken long to realise just what a fool I was.
Gasping and clutching my cramping side, I staggered to a walk the moment I suspected I was out of sight of the castle windows, or at least far enough that nobody could tell I’d already given up.
Was it normal to taste blood? Were there any known cases of lungs escaping the body, in the same way a person might leap from the top of a burning tower? If not, I was pretty sure I was about to become the first.
Doubling over, I braced my hands on my knees and willed my organs to remain internal. Was my pathetic attempt at a jog enough to ward off the bad night Mabli had warned me of? Had I done enough to earn a return to my bed?
As much as I wanted to believe it, I couldn’t delude myself, and my dreams were horrifying enough as it was. There would be nobody to comfort me tonight if I woke from visions of my flesh blistering and sloughing from my bones. Letting the horrors of my past drive me, I stumbled back into a run.
At least Mum had packed my rarely used gym gear. With my trainers and peach-coloured leggings and bra, I looked the part even if I most definitely did not feel it.
The grass muffled my jarring footfalls as I veered for the cliff tops, searching for an ocean breeze to cool my overheated skin. The faint sound of waves breaking against shingle warred against the roar of blood in my ears and the desperate rasp of my breath. At the sight of waves, dark in the dusk, I slowed to a stop again, for entirely different reasons this time.
The pebbled beach below was where the coven had paid their final respects to Hyacinth after I had failed to save her. Where Pansy had said goodbye to her mother. This clifftop was where Idris had snatched my hand and teleported me away for my very first flight aboard Saeth. The witches’ wards didn’t extend to the beach, and I searched the gathering gloom for a glimpse of a tall figure, hating the hope that swelled in my heart. But no handsome fae prince materialised out of thin air tonight. I was alone at the edge of the world.
The ever-present ache in my sternum wrenched at the thought of the prince. I slid my fingers under the band of my sports bra, trying and failing to rub away the pain. It ran too deep to be soothed by physical touch, that new, raw part of me. Of us .
Idris had touched his fingers to the same spot on his own chest, only this morning in my bedroom back home. Did he still feel this ache? Was he out there somewhere, at the very moment, trying to massage it away? Was he thinking of me? Wishing?
“Idris.” I whispered his name to the ocean as tears welled in my eyes .
I didn’t know where he was at that very moment, only that he wasn’t where he belonged. He wasn’t here, with me . He’d broken my heart, but there was nobody else in this world or my own that I wanted to give the shattered pieces to more. Nobody else I trusted to be gentle as he put me back together. Did believing him make me stupid? Because I knew he loved me. Knew it beyond any doubt.
“He cannot hear you from here, ma cherie.”
I squeezed my eyes shut, pushing away the tears before I turned.
“Jacques.” My lips twitched into a small smile. “You came back.”
The vampire lingered a healthy distance away, shrouded in gloom, but at my words, he took a cautious step closer. “I miss you. Just because ma belle fille is a predator now, it does not mean she can no longer be my friend. Does it?”
A predator? Me? I might have laughed if my heart wasn’t weighing me down. Having the life almost drained out of me by my stint in the human world definitely disqualified me from that particular title. There was no savagery or might left in me.
“I’m your friend. Are you mine? I got the distinct impression that you didn’t approve of this.” I spread my arms slightly, gesturing to myself and all that I had become.
Eyes of starlight slid over me from head to toe and back again. When his gaze snagged mine, it was full of pity. “How did it happen?”
Ice plunged down my sweaty spine as flames erupted in my mind, filling my ears with the ghosts of my dying screams. My nails bit into my palms again, a reaction to the sudden, unexpected fear, but the small pain grounded me. I wasn’t there, I wasn’t burning. I was in Nairsgarth, talking to the vampire who had almost killed me. The knowledge shouldn’t have calmed me, but my pulse slowed and my fists loosened. Despite everything, I’d spoken the truth. Jacques was, and always had been, my friend.
I gave my head a shake. “It doesn’t matter. Just know that it was the only way.”
“You spoke true, then? The fae saved your life?”
“Is that such a surprise?” After all, Idris had been the one to save me from Jacques’ hunger. He still bore the scars of his battle with a vampire at full strength, renewed by human blood. A whole lot of human blood.
Distaste curled Jacques’ lip. “Their kind are monsters.”
King Maelgwyn drifted to the forefront of my mind. “Some are. Just like humans, or even vampires. But some are good.”
Idris was good. He made stupid, destructive choices sometimes, as I knew only too well, but at his core, he was good. But could I force him to take up a role that he clearly didn’t want? Could I give up the opportunity to do something worthwhile in this world? The hollow in my chest throbbed.
“No, ma belle. No, they are not.”
“Why do you think that?” I pressed, determined that Idris should be judged fairly, though I doubted he cared much for the opinion of a vampire. What had he called them? Vermin?
My friend gave an icy laugh, and the evil sound had the hairs on my arms rising. “Perhaps you should pick up a history book while you are here. Unless they have erased the evidence.”
“Evidence?” My brows knotted into a frown. “Of what?”
“Walk with me.” Jacques didn’t wait. He set off, brushing silently past my shoulder as he aimed for the steep path leading to the beach below .
I hesitated. There were no wards down there. What if someone was waiting to ambush me? To take me back to Maelgwyn? Idris would never find me a second time, because I’d pushed him away, when all I really wanted was to have him close.
“It’s not warded,” I called after Jacques’ disappearing form.
“You are not a fragile human anymore.” He hesitated, peering over his shoulder. “I know what it is to be reborn, Aliza. To become something deadly and new. Shake off your fear and embrace it.” A wicked, fanged grin flashed in my direction. “You might enjoy it.”
His words struck me like a thunderbolt. Was it fate that had given me such a perfect friend in this strange new life? One who knew what it was to be human, who maybe even came from my world?
I dashed after him, catching up as he started walking again. The path down to the beach was narrow, and I followed at his back until we reached the beach below. No enemies rushed from the shadow of the cliffs or rose from the sea. It was just us.
Pebbles clinked and shifted underfoot as we wandered to the water’s edge. Silver spray whispered over the stones, almost reaching the toes of my trainers before retreating.
“I don’t mean to be insensitive, but how did you become a vampire?”
Jacques’ face hardened. He stared at the dark horizon, and for a moment, I thought he wouldn’t answer me. “War. A petty squabble between feuding kings. They fought over a worthless patch of dirt, many days' ride from my home. I’d never set foot on that land before, and yet, I was sent to fight and bleed for it. And bleed I did.” He heaved a sigh, the most human sound I’d heard from him. “It wasn’t quick, ma cherie. Perhaps that was a blessing, because when night fell and the fighting stopped, I still lingered, and my sire found me.”
“Your sire?”
He gave a curt nod. “His human life had ended under similar circumstances, and he made a point of trawling the battlefields by night, looking for those he could save. I was one of the lucky ones.”
Saving the already dying? That didn’t sound like the vampires I thought I knew. “He didn’t lurk in dark alleys and kill lonely, unsuspecting victims?”
Jacques threw me a quizzical look, the breeze stirring his dark hair around his face. “That is only for desperate times.”
“Like now?” Why did I have to ask? I was powerless to stop his people crossing the rifts and hunting mine. Why torture myself with the truth?
“That is why I came here tonight. You should know… The hunting has begun, and yes, these are desperate times. We have even had people wander right into our clutches.” His sideways glance was sheepish. “They come in search of you.”
“Me?” I squeaked. How could that be true? I was nobody. The searches were over. To most of the world, I was dead. My parents knew I was safe. Why would anyone still be searching?
Jacques nodded. “The first few did not survive long enough to speak, but the more they died, the more came. Our king ordered us to bring them to him. They talk of mystery. They are drawn to the gate by morbid fascination, to see the place where you vanished. Then more came in search of them. Officers, they call themselves. Those ones put up a fight.” He shrugged, as though people fighting for their lives was of little consequence. “If it continues, we may not need to hunt after all.”
My retort clogged my throat. My demands to have the rift guarded had obviously been ignored.
The knowledge that hunting would continue had been bad enough, but this? Having poor, unsuspecting idiots wander right into death’s waiting jaws was so much worse. If I’d never gone into that stupid cave, none of them would have followed. I’d been incredibly lucky to survive my unconscious journey through the Blood Gate, or as was more likely, fate had intervened, delivering me safely to Neath so I could break the curse. I’d done what I’d been sent to do, and these newcomers weren’t needed. Spares. Vampire food.
“Anwir said he’d keep them safe.” There it was, that all too familiar note of betrayal in my voice. I’d heard it far too often since stumbling through the rift. “Your king has ordered them to be kept alive, though?”
They had to be safe. There had to be something I could do. If Anwir wouldn’t help, I’d find a way to do it myself.
“Yes. They are subdued. We feed in small amounts, and care for them inbetween, giving them time to replenish their lost blood. It is not enough. We are too many, and they are too few. The weakest among us are given priority. The rest of us must hunt.”
My lungs refused to expand. What Jacques was telling me… it was monstrous. Unthinkable. Opening the rifts had saved one people, but doomed another. I’d never seen their faces, but they appeared before me as though I stood in the caverns, not on a moonlit beach. Weak and all but drained of life, they lay at my feet. Skin pale, eyes bruised. Devoid of hope .
A cold hand closed around mine, and I flinched, snatching my fingers away. Sorrowful, starlit eyes blinked at me.
“I had to tell you, mon amie. I am sorry.”
His fingers found mine again, squeezing gently. I didn’t pull away. His skin was ghostly pale against mine, but the chill was no longer a surprise. He’d dragged his hands all over my body, once, and I’d long been accustomed to the touch of death. It wasn’t as cold as most people imagined.
“It’s not right, Jacques,” I managed to choke out. “There has to be another way.”
Like blood donors. But who would give precious blood to a vampire? A bleak bark of laughter escaped me. Only me, driven by betrayal and frustration. Only I would insist upon becoming a meal, and look how that had turned out.
Jacques gave a grim nod. “Hunting seems kinder, somehow.”
“Is your king wicked, too?”
The vampire’s haunting, terrifying eyes widened in surprise. “Mon Dieu, non. He is doing what is best for his people.”
I raised an eyebrow. I didn’t like to cast judgement, but whoever this man was, he didn’t strike me as having a single redeeming feature. It was a pity fae and vampire loathed each other; the vampire king and Maelgwyn would have been great friends.
“You forget that each and every one of us remembers what it is to be human. Each and every one of us was bitten. Even King Torsten. We do not kill to be cruel. Even our venom is kind.”
I snorted. “No, it’s not. My neck was sore for ages after you bit me. ”
Jacques gave me a sly smirk, eyes twinkling. “Only because you survived. Can you honestly tell me you would not have enjoyed dying, had we not been interrupted?”
Thank god it was dark, because my face ignited. I scowled at the grinning vampire. The worst part was, he was right. I had enjoyed it. The initial bite had been every bit as painful as a venomous bite should be, but it had soon faded into weightless serenity. It would certainly have made a nicer end than the one Maelgwyn had given me.
“Okay, maybe you have a point,” I conceded.
“Speaking of interruptions, where is your angry friend? I hope he will not come charging down the slope and tear me to shreds again.”
At the mere mention of Idris, my chest swelled with longing. I looked away from Jacques, hoping to hide the pathetic tears welling in my eyes. “He’s not here.”
“I know. If he was, I would be in a considerable amount of pain. Where is he?”
I ignored the question in his response. What could I say? That I’d given myself to the prince, that he’d told me he loved me, but now we were kingdoms apart with uncertainty and doubt hanging over us? Could I admit that I missed him?
Jacques filled the silence of my hesitation. “I noted that the name you whispered to the waves was the wrong one.”
Heedless of my overly wet eyes, I peered sideways at him.
“Not Prince Anwir?”
My lips curved into a small, reluctant smile. “No. Not him.”
“I confess, there was little time for niceties when he introduced himself in your room, and he slept through our second meeting. I did not realise you had disregarded the prophecy and chosen differently. ”
Would it be disregarding the prophecy if Idris accepted his birthright for me? I hadn’t yet decided what I would choose for myself, or if I could allow him to make such a sacrifice, so I stayed quiet, guarding the princes’ secrets. Few people knew of the swap, and as much as I trusted Jacques, it was not my place to tell him.
“I hadn’t chosen anything at the time,” I admitted. “I don’t know what will happen, even now. But… I love him.” I turned my gaze to the sea. “I love him, but if I choose him, everything will change.”
Jacques couldn’t know the true magnitude of it, but the mere knowledge that I had fallen for the apparent youngest prince should be hint enough. And fallen I had, like a star crashing to earth. Two different worlds had collided, and now nothing would ever be the same.
“Change could be what we need.”
An ember of hope flickered inside me. If I took the throne, how much power would I have? Could I really make the world a better place? For all of its inhabitants, this side of the rift and beyond? Was Sage right? If I took up the crown, would Idris follow? Could I save the world and have him?
I had no idea where to begin. I glanced at the man at my side. Where better than right here? “Why do vampires and fae hate each other?”
I couldn’t hope to change anything without understanding the basics.
Jacques’ face hardened with bitterness. “I cannot speak for them, but it may surprise you to know that vampires did not always dwell in the mountains.”
“They didn’t?” The news did surprise me. Caves seemed an ideal way to avoid sunlight. UV rays didn’t kill their kind, but I’d witnessed what happened to a vampire exposed to the sun. Jacques had braved the daylight to save Pansy and me from a barghest, and he’d paid for his heroics with blistering, burnt skin. My stomach knotted at the thought. My burns had been a different sort, but I felt his pain acutely.
His expression turned wistful. “Of course not. Who would choose such a home? It is dark, with no view of the sky. No night air on our skin. We had homes once. Real homes. We had no kingdom of our own, but we lived freely, wherever we chose. The fae drove us out. Underground. Many did not survive their brutality. It is not easy to kill a vampire, mon amie, but the fae were thorough and creative. Those who were not murdered by them were forced to find a new home, but few places were safe for us. King Torsten gathered the survivors in the caves, and over time, we rebuilt, far from fae, and sunlight, but far from the kiss of a night breeze, too. We might have adapted if the rifts had not been sealed.”
“Was it Maelgwyn who forced you out?” Maybe when he was defeated, things could go back to how they had been before his reign.
“Non. It has been going on for millennia. Though, Maelgwyn undoubtedly made things worse with his curse.”
“Oh,” I breathed. “I’m sorry, Jacques.”
“It was not your doing, ma cherie.”
No, but maybe I could undo it. The throne was mine. I’d never been a whimsical person, but Neath had changed me. It continued to do so. It had brought me here for a reason. Given me a throne for a reason. Could I believe in fate enough to act on it?
“Can you make me a promise, Jacques?”
“That depends what it is. ”
I smirked. Jacques had been forever open and upfront about how far I should trust him. It made him one of the most trustworthy people I’d ever met. “My parents know I’m alive. They won’t come looking for me, but my friends might. Can you protect them if they come through? Their names are Abby and Isobel. Abby has red hair, and Isobel has brown. She’ll be wearing something hideous and talking rubbish… or sense, come to think of it.”
My chest gave another pang. Not the same one that called for Idris, but something almost as painful, and full of regret.
“I think I can promise this.”
I laid my head on his shoulder. Though he didn’t shrug me off, he tensed. “What’s wrong? Do I still smell?”
“Like an enemy, mon amie. It is most disconcerting.”
“I could never be one of those.”
He laid his cheek against my hair. “Je sais.”