19.
Ada
I couldn’t believe what I’d done. No, what I’d initiated . Yes, Jonathan might’ve gotten me worked up with the leg massage, but what happened afterward was all me. He pressed a hot kiss to my lips then moved away. I quickly did up my robe while he went to turn off the soup and covered the pot with a lid.
“Can you wait a little longer to eat?” he asked as he returned and gathered me into his arms. I was too worked up to answer with words, the mind-blowing orgasm not nearly satisfying my need for him. So, I simply nodded, and his gaze heated as he carried me to the bedroom.
Jonathan kicked the bedroom door shut behind us before lowering me onto the bed. He was already pulling off his top and climbing over me, and I was too busy staring at his bare chest and abs to think clearly. He was in incredible shape for a man in his early forties, and I suspected he made good use of the gym that was available exclusively for residents of the building. His mouth went to my neck, and I lost what remained of my comprehension skills.
“Do you want this?” Jonathan asked, his mouth trailing along my collarbone as he reached to reopen my robe. The pleasure of his touch silenced all the reprimands my brain was screaming at me. I’d lost all sense of logic. I was pretty sure I’d lost it as soon as Jonathan had picked me up and carried me into the building then proceeded to tenderly rub all the places where my leg was aching after a long, long day at work. I brought my hand to his neck, my fingers pressing into his nape as I nodded. “I want you.”
Stark, carnal desire darkened in his eyes before his mouth crashed down on mine, and he laid waste to me with his lips, teeth and tongue. My moans filled the room when he pressed his thick cock to my naked centre, the only barrier his cotton lounge pants.
I gripped the hem, tugging them down, and he chuckled. “Eager. I like it.”
“Just shut up and fuck me, Jonathan,” I said, impatient, and it solicited a growl from him.
“Where are your condoms?”
“I, uh …” I searched my brain, trying to think while his mouth continued kissing down to my breasts, his lips capturing my nipple. It was then I realised I didn’t have any condoms. I mean, why would I? I’d been single for years, and I didn’t date.
“I don’t have any,” I whispered, and Jonathan shifted back.
“Are you on birth control?”
I shook my head.
“Then how do you—”
“It’s been a while,” I admitted, abashed.
Something softened in his gaze, the heat still there, blazing hot. I’d never felt more wanted in my life. “That’s okay. I have some in my place. I’ll be right back.”
He pressed a longing kiss to my mouth then climbed off the bed. When he reached the door, he turned back, eyes holding mine. “Don’t start overthinking, okay?”
He was gone before I could respond, but it was too late, because I was already starting to think. With his distracting mouth off my body, my pesky rational brain started to pipe up, my arousal quieting and no longer drowning it out. By the time Jonathan returned, pulling several condoms from his pocket and scattering them across the bed like horny confetti, I started to have reservations. He climbed back between my legs while my second thoughts took over. Jonathan returned to kissing me, but he sensed my hesitation because he pulled back.
“Ah,” he sighed, a handsome frown shaping his lips. “I thought I told you not to do that.”
“Do what?” I breathed.
“ Overthink ,” he answered.
My features crinkled in apology. I hated myself for changing my mind—seriously, I was the worst—but I just couldn’t get past my fears, the worry that sex would ruin everything. Jonathan had already displayed several signs of possessiveness, which meant if things didn’t work out, we wouldn’t be able to go back to being friends. Hell, I feared I’d already messed everything up by letting him go down on me. How would I ever get the sexy vision of him out of my head now? Oh, what a disaster.
“I had a moment of madness,” I blurted at last. “I shouldn’t have kissed you.”
Jonathan’s expression hardened as he gently cupped my jaw. “You should always kiss me, Ada.” He fell silent, his eyes searching mine before he blew out a breath. “But I understand.” He drew away, and I missed his touch. “We all have moments of madness.” A pause as he continued to gaze at me. “I’m the lucky bastard who was on the receiving end of one of yours.”
“Oh God,” I groaned, throwing a hand over my face. “I feel like I just used you. I’m an awful person.”
His low, masculine chuckle had some of my guilt dissolving as he pulled me to his chest in a hug. “Don’t do that. I wasn’t used. Let’s not pretend I didn’t enjoy every second going down on you.”
A fiery flush claimed my entire body at the memory of him gazing up at me from below, his mouth doing sinful things.
I bit my lip. “Do you still want to have dinner?”
From my position smashed against his chest, I saw the corners of his eyes crinkle in a smile. “Of course. I’ve worked up an appetite, haven’t I?”
Of its own accord, my gaze lowered to his crotch. He was still rock hard, his perfect erection outlined through the thin pants. I swallowed thickly, searching for the willpower to resist falling to my knees and taking said perfect erection into my mouth to return the favour.
“Are you, um—”
“I’m fine. It’ll go down in a minute,” Jonathan said roughly as he released me from his embrace. “Though you should probably put some clothes on.” His smile turned teasing. “Otherwise, it could take a while.”
Suddenly shy, I fixed my robe to cover my nakedness and, with shaking hands, began collecting the condoms he’d scattered across the bed.
He sat there, silently watching me, and when I held out the collection of shiny foil packets, his lips curved in amusement. “Why don’t you keep them?” A weighty pause. “Just in case you have another moment of madness in my presence.”
He looked entirely too sure of himself. I narrowed my gaze. “That won’t happen.”
“Are you certain? Better to be safe than sorry.”
Pressing my lips together, I dumped them in his lap. “I think I’ll be fine,” I said before going into the walk-in wardrobe to find something to wear. Preferably a nun’s habit or one of those shapeless adult onesies. His chuckle followed me, and I pressed my back against the wall, sucking in a deep breath. I couldn’t believe we’d almost had sex, couldn’t believe I’d let him go down on me. I’d obviously lost control of my senses.
When I came back out dressed in a baggy hoodie and leggings, Jonathan and his condoms were gone. I opened my drawer to search for a hair tie and discovered he’d deposited the condoms into the drawer. Oh, that little …
It bothered me how he was so sure we’d find ourselves on the verge of fucking again. Then I thought of how much I still wanted him, not to mention how brittle my self-restraint had become, and sighed. He was probably right to leave them.
Walking out into the kitchen, I found Jonathan sitting at the dining table, a steaming bowl of tomato soup in front of him and another waiting for me. He’d buttered several slices of crusty bread and put together a plate with a selection of cured meats, cheese and raw vegetables that he must’ve brought from his apartment because I definitely didn’t remember having anything like that in my fridge. I took the seat across from him, not mentioning that I’d found the condoms in the drawer. It was best not to discuss anything sexual; otherwise, we might abandon our dinner again. I picked up a slice of bread and dipped it into the soup.
“Thank you for making this and for carrying me up here and massaging me and running me a bath,” I said, rambling. “I’d probably still be outside asleep in my car if it weren’t for you.”
Jonathan smiled softly, clearly seeing I was still frazzled as he lifted a spoonful of soup to his mouth. “Any time, love.”
The endearment did something funny to my chest. Jonathan seemed relaxed and at ease, but I still felt bad because he’d just given me the best orgasm of my life, and I’d changed my mind about having sex, essentially leaving him with blue balls. Though I didn’t get any resentful vibes or sense that he was holding it against me. The opposite, in fact. Jonathan looked satiated and happy to be sharing a meal with me.
We ate in quiet, and when I rose to clear the table, Jonathan instructed me to go lie down and watch some TV while he cleaned up. I didn’t argue because I was still physically exhausted from the week I’d had.
A little while later, I was watching a documentary about chimpanzees on the Discovery Channel when Jonathan came over, pressed a kiss to my temple and told me he’d see me tomorrow before letting himself out. My heart felt all swishy in my chest as I stared at his departing figure, full of longing. I wished he’d stayed and watched the documentary. Maybe pulled me into his arms to snuggle. I found myself craving his company in simple, mundane ways.
The next morning as I got ready for work, my eyes latched on the box containing the earrings Jonathan had bought for me. I’d told him I couldn’t accept them, but he’d been adamant about not taking them back. Walking to the counter, I picked up the box and opened it, admiring the pretty stones. There was something about the shape and design that made me feel like Jonathan hadn’t just picked any pair of earrings. He’d picked these ones in particular because he thought they’d suit me. Then I thought of how he cared for me last night, even being a gentleman and graciously pulling the brakes when I’d changed my mind about sex.
How was it that the man I’d first considered to be one of the worst people I’d ever met was somehow turning out to be one of the best?
Not intending to wear them but merely wanting to see what they looked like on, I removed the earrings from the box, put them on, then went to the mirror to admire them. They really were gorgeous. The sparkle of the diamonds somehow made my eyes look more vibrant. It was as I stared at my reflection that my phone vibrated with a text from Mam.
Mam: Ada, I’ve decided I’m going to come visit for Christmas. Frances mentioned your new apartment has a spare bedroom, so I take it you don’t mind me staying with you. My flight gets in early on the twenty-third.
Reading the message, my stomach plummeted. I was definitely not in the right headspace to host my mother for Christmas, but like always, her message was an announcement of what she intended to do rather than a question asking if I minded her staying with me.
Not needing the stress right then, I put her visit to the back of my mind and headed out to my car. When I arrived at work, Cathal was in reception chatting with Sally. He glanced at me as I walked by, then seemed to do a double take before hurrying to catch up with me.
“Hey, Ada.”
I glanced at him. “Cathal.”
He ran a hand through his wavy, sandy brown hair. “So, um, I just wanted to apologise for what happened when I spoke to you at the quiz night the other week. I was out of line.”
“Uh huh, well, thank you, but it’s all good.”
“I butted my nose in where it didn’t belong, and after meeting Jonathan, he seems like a decent bloke. I think I was just concerned for you and overreacting.”
“Yeah, I get it, but you don’t need to worry about me. Listen, I have a bunch of stuff to do today, so—”
“No, of course. I was just wondering if you’d let me take you to lunch to make up for me being such an arsehole?”
I stopped walking and cast him a look. “Lunch?”
He shot me a smile that was half sheepish, half charming. “It’s the least I can do.” His eyes flashed to my ears, and I frowned. Why was he …? I lifted my hand and fingered my earlobe, suddenly realising I was still wearing the earrings. Mam’s text had distracted me and I’d forgotten to take them off. Cathal seemed oddly interested in them, and he noticed that I’d noticed. He cleared his throat.
“It’s nice to see you’ve been treating yourself with your inheritance. If anyone deserves it, it’s you, especially after all the crap your dad put you through when you were younger.” I’d never regretted revealing details of my childhood to someone more than I did at that moment. There was just something about his statement that infuriated me, like inheriting any sum of money could ever make up for what I’d gone through or what I’d lost when Dad and Leonora had died.
“Don’t you …” I began then got choked up I was so mad. Finally, I found my voice again. “I told you about my childhood in confidence, not so you could bring it up in conversation at our place of work. And just so you know, I didn’t treat myself. These earrings were a birthday gift. Also, there was no inheritance. My dad left very little when he died. I just said that to get everyone off my back about Jonathan. What I do find curious is how much you’ve been going out of your way to talk to me ever since you heard I might have a windfall coming my way. Like, what exactly is your game? Did you decide you’d try getting close to me again, and I’d give you some of my inheritance? Honestly, Cathal, I never realised how money hungry you are, but it’s so clear to me now. I feel foolish I didn’t see it sooner.”
His expression morphed into outrage. “How dare you—"
“Cathal,” someone said stiffly, and I became aware that Hannah was standing behind us. From her expression, it was clear she’d heard much of what I just said. Well, at least she was no longer out sick, which left one less thing for me to worry about. “A word,” she went on, gripping his arm and dragging him away.
I stood there, trying to calm down since confrontations always made me stressed. I didn’t even realise that one of the residents, Philomena, was sitting on an armchair nearby and had heard, too.
“I wouldn’t have said money hungry,” she commented. “But he is preoccupied with material things. You can tell by the way he always has the latest techie gadget. I’ve also never known a man to buy so many shoes. He comes in with a new pair on every other week. And don’t even get me started on the hair. We all know those highlights aren’t natural.”
What she said surprised a laugh out of me because she was right, Cathal loved to buy new shoes, and he did always have the latest iPhone or whatever other gadget was trending. Plus, he’d been going to a colourist for years to maintain his sandy shade and cover up the emerging greys. My thoughts went to Jonathan, whose blond hair was peppered with grey, but it only added to his looks in my opinion.
“So,” she went on, a curious gleam in her eyes. “Who bought you the earrings?”
I laughed again and shook my head. “None of your business.”
I heard her chuckling as I continued on my way to my office. Thankfully, almost everyone who’d been out sick had recovered, so I could actually get some of the tasks done that I’d had to put off all week. One such task was tallying the month’s petty cash numbers, and after last time, my stomach was in knots because I really didn’t want to come up short again. Unfortunately, as I was nearing the end of my calculations, I knew there was going to be money missing. So, the thief had struck again, and after my encounter with Cathal that morning, combined with what Jonathan said a while back about it possibly being him, I couldn’t shake the suspicion.
I was a hundred and seven euros short.
Standing from my desk, I went straight to Alf to let him know he needed to review the camera footage from my office. He said he’d get right on it, and I tried to focus on the other work that needed to be done. Whoever had taken that money, the camera sitting on my shelf had surely captured them.
I barely left my office all day, hoping to avoid another run-in with Cathal. It was almost time for me to leave when there was a knock on my door.
“Come in,” I called, and speak of the devil, a second later, Cathal strode in.
“Ada, what you said to me earlier was uncalled for. Hannah heard everything, and now, she’s accusing me of—”
I stood, not in the mood for a single second of whatever tirade he had planned as I blurted, “Have you been stealing from petty cash?”
Cathal stilled, his eyes widening, first in surprise then in outrage. “Excuse me?”
“You heard the question. Have you?”
He blinked, his cheeks turning beet red. “Of course not. I would never do such a thing, and the fact that you’re even asking me is completely out of order. I’m going to have you reported to Head Office.”
All at once, I regretted my impulsive decision to accuse him, but I was just so mad at him and honestly sick of having to deal with his drama when I needed to concentrate on my job. “Well, what you do expect me to think? You’ve been trying to get close to me again after all these years because you thought I was inheriting money. And at the exact same time, significant sums have been going missing from petty cash.”
“I resent the accusation. I wasn’t trying to get close to you because of your inheritance. I was simply concerned for you since we were in a relationship, and I cared about you a lot once upon a time.”
“Okay, there’s no need for any of that. Did you steal the money, Cathal?”
“No!”
“Fine, then you can leave.”
“Oh, I’m leaving all right. Leaving to make an official complaint about you to Fabers.”
His statement made me feel ill, but I had too much pride to beg him not to make the complaint. Cathal stormed out of my office right at the same time Alf appeared. His brows drew together as he watched my ex stomp away.
“What’s wrong with him?”
I rubbed at my neck, completely stressed. “Nothing. Did you review the footage?”
Alf frowned. “I did.”
“And?”
“And the person who’s been stealing the money is … Bernie.”
I stared at him, not comprehending for several long moments before I said, “Bernie? As in our resident Bernie?”
Alf nodded soberly, and I sank back down into my seat. Then I dropped my face into my hands. Oh man, this was such a disastrous mess. I’d accused Cathal of being the thief when all along it was the tiny, eighty-six-year-old woman who I’d just helped shower yesterday. How on earth was Bernie the thief?
“How would you like to proceed, Ada?” Alf asked, drawing me from my thoughts.
I pressed my lips together and took a deep breath, picking up a pen and nervously clicking it. “Where is she right now?”
“In her room, I believe.”
“Okay, then, let’s go and talk to her.”
***
That evening, I stripped out of my clothes and fell into bed, smashing my face into the pillow and crying my eyes out. It had been such a shitty, stressful day to close out a shitty, stressful week, and I was so done with everything. I just wanted to sleep until Monday and forget about it all.
My gaze fell on the drawer near my bed, the one Jonathan had dumped all those condoms in. He’d been right to suspect we’d need them again because right then I struggled not to send him a text asking him to come over. I wished to have his body next to mine, taking up space in this big, cold, empty bed. His arms wrapped around me, holding me tight to him, as he kissed his way down my body, reassuring me it would all be okay …
I fell into a very pleasant dream, one where Jonathan did all the things I wanted him to do to me but felt the need to deny myself for fear of complications.
Ada , dream Jonathan purred, you were made for me.
Ada, come closer.
Ada, give me your lips.
Ada …
Ada …
Ada! Suddenly, dream Jonathan’s sexy voice caressing my name grew urgent, and I wasn’t sure how long I’d been asleep when I woke with a start.
“Ada!”
It was only as I blinked my eyes open that I saw him bursting into my bedroom, a look of utter panic on his face.