Chapter 20
JUDE
What a fuckin’ day.
I’m in the bathroom, drying off after a shower, and strongly considering jacking off before dinner.
My dick swells at the thought, of course, so I splash a little cold water on my face and then toss some on the little guy too.
“Chill out, dude. What makes you think you’re getting any action? How do you even remember what to do?”
I’m talking to my dick.
Maybe I should have sex, since not having it doesn’t seem to be working at keeping me sane anymore.
My phone lights up on the bedside table as I step out of the bathroom.
NORA: Are you ready yet?!
Heat shoots through me picturing her on the other side of that wall, holding her phone in her hand, while I’m doing the same. Only naked.
JUDE: Five more minutes, geez
JUDE: Unless you want to come over here now and help me get dressed?
I don’t know why I’m teasing her when I can’t even follow through on it.
Three dots pop up, then disappear.
“Speechless, huh?”
I toss the phone on the bed, happy to make Nora wait a little longer.
She deserves it after the stunt she pulled this morning.
I was already riled up trying not to stare at her tits through that see-through shirt while she ate waffles, pretending like it wasn’t the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.
Luckily later, tubing required so much energy that I spent whole minutes forgetting how much I liked the feel of her tongue against mine, or how soft her body was when I pressed her up against that wall in the nurse’s office.
But then she tipped her head back and shrieked when I sent her spinning down a run, and I was back to picturing her with her legs wrapped around me.
When I look down, that little fucker’s standing at attention again.
I’m losing my goddamned mind. But damn, it feels good to slip away to her.
I pull on a black dress shirt and dark jeans, then knock on the door to Nora’s room.
“It’s open!” she calls from the other side.
I push the door open to see her standing by the front door, pulling a pair of heels on.
“Finally!” she says.
She’s wearing this short black dress that hugs every curve, and I have to stop myself from actually growling.
“Where’s the argyle sweater?” I tease instead, looking away so I don’t stare.
“Maybe I’ll bring one just in case,” she throws back.
Then she grabs one of those damn sweaters out of her bag and ties it around her waist. She looks so hilarious I turn away again, trying not to burst out laughing.
It’s a contest at this point, pushing each other to see who’ll break first. Though I’m not sure it’s just about making each other laugh.
“Don’t forget your special glasses.”
She purses her lips. She’s hiding a smile. But she takes the bedazzled frames Cap chose for her and sets them onto her face.
“You look like a hot version of that mean office lady in Monsters Inc.”
This time she’s the one turning away, her shoulders shaking. “I’ll just put these in my purse for safekeeping,” she says, sounding short of breath.
A few minutes later we’re walking down the hall together and it’s all I can do not to take her hand in mine. It feels natural, given we’re going out to dinner. Especially when we pass Gunther, who looks like he swallowed a golf ball when he sees her.
“Gunther,” she says sweetly.
He turns a bright shade of pink and chokes out a sound I’m not sure is in French, German, English, or Pig Latin. Then he ducks out an exit door like he’s going to combust.
She looks at me, mildly concerned. “You don’t think—”
“He was picturing your tits,” I say matter-of-factly.
“Jesus, Jude.”
“I don’t blame him.” I lean in because we’ve entered the lobby and there are people everywhere. “They’re beautiful.”
Now, she’s choking.
I chuckle.
“You laughed,” she says finally in her quiet little voice. “I win.”
Dammit, she’s right. I suddenly want very badly to bring her around the corner, press her up against the wall, and tell her No. I win. Maybe urge down the top of her dress and see what I only got hints of yesterday. Take one of those nipples into my mouth and—
But we’re approaching the restaurant now, where I can see my little guy standing with Farrah, waiting for us.
The last thing he needs is to see me acting like a fool for his…whatever Nora is to him.
He spots us and comes sprinting over.
Despite her fancy dress, Nora gets down on one knee, never too bothered to give Cap all the attention he deserves. “My best guy!” Nora says, laughing as he nearly knocks her over with a hug.
Nora pulls away, holding him gently by the shoulders. “You okay? It’s only been a couple hours since we saw each other!”
“I’m great. I just missed you, is all.”
My chest contracts a little. What’s it going to be like when we have to leave her behind again?
I want her to be my mom.
I wrote it off before as just an awkward kid thing. But watching them together now, and earlier today, her arms around him as they sped down the hill shrieking with laughter—it’s enough to make my breath hitch.
“Hey, what about me?” I ask, throwing my hands up in the air.
Cap sighs. “I live with you, Dad.”
“Unbelievable.”
Still, he takes pity on me and throws his arms around my waist. “Fine. I missed you too, Dad.”
Nora laughs and I throw her a mock glare.
Then, to my surprise, Cap wraps one arm around her waist and one around mine and guides us to the restaurant as one little unit.
When I look over at Nora, her laughter’s gone, replaced with a look I can’t place. But she quickly averts her eyes, brushing Cap’s hair as she walks.
“Where’s Farrah?” Cap asks.
The spot where they were standing is now empty. Who cares? is my first thought. But a spike of guilt hits me at the callousness of that.
As we cross the remainder of the space to the restaurant, I spot her ahead of the others, tucked inside the entryway. She’s looking at us with a sad kind of smile. Does she wish it was her here instead of Nora? She’s never given that vibe, but how could she not?
“Right there,” I say.
“You going to be nice tonight, Jude?” Nora asks softly as Cap runs inside.
I frown. “I guess.”
She puts a hand on my arm. “Please? For us?”
My stomach drops. Not just for Cap. For her too. Jesus, I’ve been a dick if she needs to ask that.
I already know that. Except I just can’t seem to shake that old anger at her. But I’ll try, for them. I nod, unable to say the words. Because I don’t want to be made a liar.
The four of us at a table is a little awkward at first, especially when the waiter comes and doesn’t know who to ask about whether he should bring a special drink for Cap.
“I’m his dad,” I say, and the waiter, a diminutive man with a trim salt and pepper beard, nods, looking relieved.
But once the drinks come—a lager for me, white wine for Nora, some kind of fizzy cocktail for Farrah, and a whole fishbowl of sugar for Cap—we all start to relax.
Cap surprises me by asking Farrah to help him decipher the menu to find the stuff he might like. Meanwhile, Nora pores over the menu like she’s studying an ancient textbook, while I briefly skim the entrees and decide on a chicken tagine. Delicious. Sounds good to me. I snap my menu shut.
“What do you think concassé is?” Nora asks. “Is it a method of preparation, maybe?”
She pulls out her phone, clearly looking it up. She’s always like this at restaurants, studying the menu like it’s an ancient text and weighing each option against the other like she’s going to be tested on it later.
“Why don’t you go back and observe the chef?” I suggest.
Nora rolls her eyes at me before returning to her menu.
I laugh. “I missed your eye rolls.”
She doesn’t look up, but I can tell she’s smiling. “I’ve got lots more if you want them.”
Eventually, she makes a decision and closes her menu, setting it down on the table.
You’d think that after all the years we spent going to restaurants together, I’d be annoyed by her indecision, but I can’t help finding it cute as hell.
Now, as Farrah tells Cap about what it was like living in Japan, I watch, completely bemused, as Nora reaches a hand out for the menu as if she’s going to look again.
“Don’t do it,” I warn.
She snaps her gaze to mine. “I’m not. I know what I’m getting.”
“But what about your second choice? What if they could change the sauce for you?”
Nora huffs. “Hey, lots of places say it’s a béchamel when it’s actually a Mornay sauce, and sometimes the cheese in Mornay makes me itchy, if it hasn’t been cooked all the way through.”
I love it when she gets like this. “You could make hives look sexy,” I say, just to tease her.
Nora pinches her lips together, scowling, but I can see the laughter in her eyes.
“What are hives?” Cap asks.
I hadn’t noticed he and Farrah had stopped talking to each other.
Nora’s cheeks go pink.
“Big itchy red marks,” I say, relieved he picked up that word and not the other.
Farrah furrows her brow. “Like the disease?”
I nod. “All over your body!”
Nora looks like she wants to sink down into her seat. “Not really—”
“Oh yeah!” Cap says, his excited voice a little too loud. “Like the chicken pox you got on your butt, Dad!”
Now it’s my turn to heat up as several restaurant patrons turn and stare. I never should have told him that story.
“All right, that’s not dinner table talk, is it?” I whisper.
“You started it,” hums Nora.
“Let’s move on,” I suggest, leaning on my hand in an exaggerated show of embarrassment.
Nora giggles, but Cap takes the lead, talking animatedly about all the cool moves he did today on the hill. They all laugh at me for that one epic wipeout into the snowbank.
I frown. “Are we not going to talk about Nora falling off the ski lift?”
“Excuse me, I didn’t fall. I was knocked over.”
“Literally no difference.”