Chapter 18
Sierra
“So, are you done with your book yet?” Ellie asked when they finished their workout.
It was their third day working out together, and every time, Ellie tried to get Sierra to hang out with her.
Luckily, Sienna was always down to hang out, so that let Sierra off the hook.
Kind of. The problem was she actually had finished her book last night, so unless she lied, she no longer had that as an excuse.
“I stayed up late last night finishing it.” Sierra let out an exaggerated yawn. “So, I think I’m going to take a nap after I shower.”
“Of course. Makes sense.” Ellie smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes.
Sierra could tell how hard Ellie was trying, so she felt guilty about continuously blowing her off.
The problem wasn’t that she didn’t want to spend time with Ellie.
The real problem was how much she did. Even when they weren’t together, Sierra was constantly thinking about her.
She had to imagine it would only get worse if they actually spent time together.
What good would it do, anyway? Ellie would probably ditch her as soon as they got back to school.
Sierra couldn’t handle being rejected like that.
If she was the one doing the rejecting, it wouldn’t hurt as bad.
At least, that was what she kept telling herself.
Sierra was startled from her thoughts by the sound of Ellie speaking again. “Tell your sister I’m going to do a Christmas movie marathon in my room if she wants to join.”
“I will.”
After getting her shower, Sierra informed her sister of Ellie’s invite.
“Cool.” Sienna nodded toward the door. “Let’s go.”
“I think I’m going to take a nap.”
Sienna rolled her eyes. “You fell asleep hours before me last night. If I’m okay, you should be too.”
“I just don’t want to, okay?”
Sienna put her hands in the air and backed away from Sierra. “Fine. But if you keep doing this, I’m going to have to tell Ellie the real reason you won’t hang out with her.”
Sierra crossed her arms and tapped her foot. She didn’t have the patience for her sister’s bullshit right now. “And what would that reason be?”
Sienna smirked and mimicked Sierra’s stance. “Obviously that you like her, and you’re worried if you hang out with her, you’ll fall madly in love.”
“That’s complete bullshit.” At least, mostly.
“Maybe it is. Maybe it isn’t. But Ellie doesn’t know that.”
“Fine.” Sierra didn’t think her sister would actually do that to her, but she wasn’t willing to take the risk.
As soon as Ellie noticed Sierra walking into her bedroom behind Sienna, her whole face lit up, which caused Sierra’s body to have a super obnoxious reaction. She’s only giving you time right now because her cooler friends aren’t around, Sierra reminded herself.
“Decided against the nap?” Ellie asked, the wide grin on her face giving away how happy she was about Sierra’s decision.
Sierra pointed to Sienna. “She convinced me.”
“Yeah, I told her she needs to stop being such an anti-social asshole.” Sienna walked over to Ellie’s bed and claimed the spot all the way to the left.
Sienna had clearly done that on purpose, so Sierra had no choice but to sit next to Ellie.
Sierra took the spot next to her sister in the hopes that maybe Ellie would end up sitting in her desk chair or on the floor, but she wasn’t going to get that lucky.
Without hesitation, Ellie filled the empty spot next to Sierra.
When Ellie picked up the controller to choose a movie, her arm brushed Sierra’s, which in turn, caused Sierra’s skin to tingle.
She tried to focus on the discussion Ellie and Sienna were having about movie choices, but it was no use.
With each movement and every slight touch, Sierra lost her mind.
She closed her eyes and focused on her breathing.
She shouldn’t and couldn’t be having this type of reaction.
Sierra’s eyes startled awake when she was elbowed in the side. “Don’t tell me you’re falling asleep already,” Ellie said playfully. “The movie hasn’t even started.”
“Sorry. Definitely not.”
Sienna snorted a laugh, but luckily, didn’t say anything.
As the movie played, the more Sierra tried to avoid thinking about Ellie’s close proximity, the more frequent these thoughts became.
Partway through the movie, Ellie smiled over at Sierra and scooted even closer to her.
This time, instead of freaking out, Sierra’s whole body relaxed.
When she sunk lower into the bed, Ellie did the same, but it wasn’t unwelcome.
For the first time in a very long time, Sierra felt safe, as if this was exactly where she belonged—lying beside Ellie Finch on her bed, watching Christmas movies.
It made her wonder why she had been fighting it so hard.
She decided to let her body have complete control, and when her eyes started to close, she didn’t give in to the urge to force them open.
When Sierra’s eyes finally did open, the TV was no longer on, and her sister was gone.
She tried to sit up, but couldn’t. That was when she realized what was holding her down—Ellie had fallen asleep too and her arm was draped over Sierra’s stomach.
It was suffocating and intoxicating all at once.
She wanted to lean into it, but she also wanted to run away.
Before she could decide what to do, Ellie started to stir and rolled away from her. A minute later, she stretched and sat up. “Shoot. I must’ve fallen asleep. I’m sorry.”
God, her sleepy voice is adorable. Why the fuck does it have to be so adorable?
“All good. I actually fell asleep too.”
Ellie laughed. “In your defense, you did tell me that you were tired.” She patted the empty spot on the other side of the bed. “It looks like we lost your sister.”
“Yeah. I guess I better go find her.” Sierra hopped out of the bed as if it were on fire and speed-walked toward the door.
She had just started to turn the handle when Ellie’s voice interrupted her. “Wait.”
Don’t turn around. Don’t turn around.
Despite her better judgment, Sierra did, indeed, turn around.
Now Ellie patted the spot where Sierra had just been. “Could you stay for a little bit? I want to talk to you.”
Run away. Run the fuck away.
“What do you want to talk about?” Sierra took one step away from the door and closer to Ellie.
Stop.
Ellie shrugged. “Anything. Like I said before, I just want to get to know you better.”
“And how do you plan on getting to know me better?” Against her better judgment, Sierra took a few more steps in Ellie’s direction.
“I don’t know.” Ellie stared at the ceiling as if she was considering the question. “How ’bout two truths and a lie?”
Sierra couldn’t help but laugh as she closed the distance between them even more. “Seriously? Are we in middle school?”
“Humor me.”
There was no way Sierra was going to be able to say no to that smile, so she took the last few steps and sat down on the bed beside Ellie. “You first.”
“Fine. I’ve been out since I was in 6th grade, I’ve had three girlfriends, and I lost my virginity when I was fifteen.”
Wow. She was really jumping right in there, wasn’t she? Sierra was sure she couldn’t bring up sex without her face turning bright red, plus fifteen sounded like a logical time for someone to lose their virginity, so she eliminated that one. “I’m going to say you didn’t come out in sixth grade.”
Ellie raised both eyebrows and smirked. “I did, actually. Benefit of having two moms. I realized I liked a girl and thought, ‘hey, that’s cool.’ I asked her out and she rejected me, because she was straight, but that was that.”
That was that. She said it as if it were the simplest thing in the world. As if it wasn’t some huge secret that Sierra had been carrying around for over two years.
“My lie was the number of girlfriends. I’ve actually had five, but two of them were very short-lived middle school flings.” Ellie knocked her shoulder against Sierra’s. “Your turn.”
Sierra could feel the nerves taking over her body before she even opened her mouth. There was so much she could say, but she wasn’t ready, so she kept it simple. “I grew up in Woodbury. My favorite color is blue. I have a sister and a brother and about a million fiblings.”
“I don’t know what a fibling is, but I don’t know many people who have a million of anything so I’m going to say that one.”
“Okay, so that might have been an exaggeration, but it actually wasn’t the lie. Fibling is the word Sienna and I came up with for our foster siblings who weren’t adopted by our moms. My moms were always taking in kids temporarily while we were growing up, so there are a ton of them.”
Ellie watched Sierra, unflinching, as if she was hanging on every single word Sierra said. It made her feel seen for the first time in months. “Do you still talk to any of them?”
Sierra had to look away, because Ellie’s intense gaze was too much to handle.
“Almost all of them. With my moms, once you’re family, you’re family.
It doesn’t matter if you lived with us for one month or five years.
There’s always a place in our home.” Sierra knew she sounded like a Hallmark card, but she had heard that so many times growing up, it was ingrained in her mind.
“I love that. But, what was your lie?”
“My favorite color. It’s actually green.”
Ellie brought her hand to her mouth and faked a yawn. “So boring. You better come up with something better for the next one.”
“Oh yeah? Well, what’s your favorite color?”
Ellie waved a finger at her. “Ah, that’s classified. I need to know I can trust you before I disclose that type of information.”
“Whatever. Your turn.”
“All right.” Ellie rubbed her hands together. “There are so many family members on my mom’s side, I can’t even remember all of their names. I was named after my two great grandmothers. I have two tattoos.”
“The tattoos?” Sierra answered quickly. Their track uniforms were pretty skimpy. She would have noticed if Ellie had a tattoo.