Chapter 18 #2
“You’re right. I only have one.”
Even though she was covered from head to toe, Sierra’s eyes instinctively ran over Ellie’s body to search for the tattoo. “Where is it?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know?”
Sierra’s face turned red as she imagined what that might mean, and Ellie threw her head back in laughter. “Get your mind out of the gutter. It’s on my foot.”
Sierra wanted to ask to see it, but something about that felt intimate, even though it shouldn’t. It was a foot, goddamnit. “So, what’s your middle name?” she asked instead.
Ellie shook her head. “That’s another one you’re going to have to earn. It’s awful. I swear my moms must hate me.”
“How do I earn this wealth of knowledge you’re dangling in front of me?” Sierra joked.
“You could start by giving me a juicy two truths and a lie.”
The first thing that popped into Sierra’s head both exhilarated and terrified her.
By the time she got herself to say the words, her heart was practically beating out of her chest. She wasn’t even sure if Ellie would be able to hear her over how loudly it was beating.
“I’m a homophobic bitch. I have two moms. I’m gay.
” And I can’t believe I just said that out loud.
“I knew it!” Ellie snapped her fingers. “You are a homophobic bitch.”
Sierra was so surprised and overwhelmed (in a good way) by Ellie’s reaction that she broke into a fit of laughter. The more she laughed, the harder it came out, and soon, she couldn’t stop herself. But damn, it felt good to laugh. And not just any laugh—a full belly laugh.
“Was it really that funny?” Ellie asked after another minute of non-stop laughter.
Sierra shook her head as she tried to calm herself down. “Sorry. I’m just so relieved. I haven’t told many people, and it was so much easier than I expected.”
Ellie’s face suddenly became serious. “Wait. You haven’t told many people, but you told me? I’m flattered, but why?”
“Why did I tell you?”
Ellie shook her head. “Why haven’t you told anyone else?”
That question was enough to stop Sierra’s laughter, because it reminded her exactly why she hadn’t told anyone. Teresa. Just the thought of her made Sierra’s stomach hurt. “It’s… complicated.”
Ellie nodded slowly. “Well, if you ever want to talk about it, I’m a really good listener.”
A week ago, Sierra would not have believed that, but now she was sure truer words had never been spoken. “Thank you. I really appreciate that.”
Ellie smiled and it made her eyes twinkle.
“My turn. My tattoo is on my foot, and it’s a winged track shoe with the words ‘Run your race’ written under it.
It was a birthday present from my mom for my eighteenth birthday.
” Ellie laughed. “That’s all number one, by the way.
Number two—I never get nervous before a race.
And last, but not least,” she looked deep into Sierra’s eyes and swallowed hard, “even though the world has come a long way in terms of acceptance, I still worry about someone hurting my family because we’re different. ”
Without thinking about what she was doing, Sierra reached out and grabbed Ellie’s hand. “I worry about that too.”
Ellie continued to stare at her as if she could hear all the words Sierra wasn’t saying. “Yeah, that one was obviously true. The race one was a lie. I still shit my pants every time I step on the track.”
“That’s quite the visual.” After saying the words, Sierra did something she almost never did. She giggled. An honest-to-god giggle. What the hell is wrong with me?
Ellie cringed. “Yeah. Please forget I said that. Changing the subject. Your turn to go.”
Even though Ellie wasn’t pushing it anymore, Sierra felt the urge to open up to her.
Something about sitting with Ellie, hands still entangled, made her want to be vulnerable.
“I was adopted when I was three. I don’t know much of anything about my birth parents and neither do my moms.” She took a deep breath and blew it out before saying the last one.
“My first semester of college was even better than I expected it to be.”
Ellie’s expression dulled and her mouth turned down in a frown. She squeezed Sierra’s hand. “I’m so sorry for the part I played in making your first semester hard. Even though I’m sure it doesn’t seem like it, it truly wasn’t my intention.”
Even though it scared Sierra, she believed Ellie. “It’s not the best feeling in the world when the person you idolized hates you, but that’s kind of my own fault. I haven’t been myself these past few months.”
Ellie’s eyes darted around Sierra’s face as if she was studying every part of her. “So, who are you?”
“Do you really want to know that?” Sierra was tempted to look away from Ellie, but she couldn’t. She wanted to stay lost in this moment with this woman forever.
Sierra watched as Ellie’s throat moved up and down. Even though she couldn’t feel it, she knew Ellie’s heart was beating just as fast as hers.
“More than anything,” Ellie said just above a whisper.
Sierra wasn’t sure if she was moving in or if it was Ellie, but their faces were definitely getting closer. They were so close, Ellie’s breath ghosted across her lips. Sierra shuddered. She couldn’t remember ever wanting anything more in her entire life.
“Girls! Are you up here? We made lunch!”
The sound of Annalise’s voice caused Sierra and Ellie to jump apart.
“I… We…” Ellie’s eyes moved from spot to spot around the room.
“Yeah. We should go down.”
Sierra’s legs were wobbly when she stood from the bed. It was hard for her to move, but now that the moment was broken, she felt like she had no choice. She needed to get out of there.