Chapter 35
Ellie
Ellie stared out the window of the bus and wondered how the end of her college career had taken such a bad turn.
It had been two weeks since Sierra ended things between them, and even though Sierra had said she just needed time, they still hadn’t talked.
Ellie had no idea if they were done for good, but it was starting to feel like that.
She was trying to be respectful of Sierra by giving her time and space, but it was hard when all she wanted to do was beg her to give them another chance.
To say she was blindsided by the breakup would be an understatement. She thought everything was perfect, and suddenly, it wasn’t. What the hell was she supposed to do? Her heart was breaking, and the worst part was she had no one to talk to about it.
She leaned her head against the window as the tears started to fall and prayed that Juniper didn’t notice.
She swore she could feel eyes on her, but when Juniper didn’t say anything, she figured she must have imagined it.
She shut her eyes to make it seem like she was sleeping and stayed like that the rest of the bus ride back to school.
When they got back, she quickly followed Juniper off of the bus and forced herself to keep looking ahead so she didn’t turn around to look at Sierra. As much as she wanted to, she knew that would only make the pain worse.
“Hey, ladies, what’s the plan tonight?” Chris asked as he walked over from the boys’ bus to greet them.
Juniper put her hand on his chest and leaned in to give him a kiss. The scene made Ellie’s heart clench, and she had to fight back her tears once again.
After the kiss, Juniper used her hand to playfully push Chris away. “Ellie and I are having a girls’ night, so you need to find something else to do.”
Ellie’s head shot up. “We are?”
Juniper turned around and crossed her arms in front of her chest. “We are, and you better not try to fight me on it.”
Ellie shrugged. “No fighting here.” It wasn’t like she had anything else to do. The person her heart longed to spend time with wasn’t talking to her. God, this sucks.
“Perfect.” Juniper blew Chris a kiss, then linked her arm with Ellie’s and started to walk. “Let’s get out of here.”
Once they were back at the apartment, Juniper informed Ellie she had fifteen minutes before she had to meet her down in the living room.
Ellie used that time to take a quick shower and change into sweats.
When she walked into the living room, Juniper was already sitting on the couch with her legs tucked underneath her.
She patted the spot next to her. “We need to talk.”
Even though Juniper was smiling, Ellie immediately began to panic. Nothing positive ever followed those words. Did Juniper know Ellie had lied to her? Was she pissed? She didn’t look pissed.
Juniper rolled her eyes. “I can see your brain working double right now. Just sit the fuck down. It’s not like you’re in trouble.”
Ellie blew out her breath. That was good, at least. Maybe this had nothing at all to do with the lies she had been keeping. She followed Juniper’s directions and sat next to her on the couch.
“Good girl.” Juniper grabbed ahold of Ellie’s hand. “Now, tell me what’s wrong.”
“What’s wrong? With me? Nothing. I’m great. Just out here living the dream.” Okay, I might have tried to sell that just a little too hard.
Juniper rolled her eyes. “Don’t lie to me. You’re really bad at it.”
Was she, though? She had been lying to Juniper for months, and Juniper had no idea. “Apparently I’m not,” Ellie said weakly. Shit. I can’t believe I just said that.
Juniper furrowed her eyebrows. “What do you mean?”
Tears immediately sprung to Ellie’s eyes, but she had no idea if it had more to do with her heartbreak or the potential blowout that was about to come when she told Juniper the truth. “I’ve been lying to you.”
“Okay… now you’re actually scaring me. What’s going on? You’re not sick or something, are you?”
Ellie laughed through her tears. “Don’t be so nice to me. I don’t deserve it.”
Juniper squeezed Ellie’s hand. “Why don’t you tell me and let me decide?”
“I was… kind of… dating someone.”
“Okay, I’m going to need more than that.” Juniper sat up straighter, and when Ellie didn’t answer right away, she spoke again. “It was Sierra, wasn’t it?”
Ellie snapped her eyes to Juniper’s. “What? How did you know that?”
“I kind of had my suspicions after the whole picking up class notes thing. I wasn’t sure, so I paid extra attention at practice and meets.
You two aren’t very good at keeping your eyes off of each other.
You know that, right? But anyway… you were kind of dating her?
I take it from your moping over these past two weeks, you’re kind of not anymore? ”
Ellie shook her head as more tears burst from her eyes. “I wasn’t just kind of dating her. I was madly in love with her. I am madly in love with her.”
Just like that, the whole story spilled from her lips, starting with their time together over Christmas up until their breakup.
Juniper rubbed her forehead. “Shit. So, what I’m hearing is this was my fault?”
“Not at all. I’m honestly not sure what happened. I think she just got scared. Her ex, who is actually the redhead from the track party, is an awful human, and I think she really messed her up.”
“Wait.” Juniper held a hand up and chuckled. “I don’t mean to laugh, but let me get this straight. The girl I caught you checking out multiple times is the ex of the girl you were dating?”
Ellie put on her most angelic smile. “So, it turns out, I was actually checking out Sierra all of those times.”
“You know what? That completely tracks. It makes much more sense. I’m not sure why I didn’t realize that.”
“So,” Ellie hesitated before asking the question, because she was scared to hear the answer. “Do you completely hate me now?”
Juniper looked stunned by her question. “Seriously? Of course not. It sucks that I was left in the dark for so long, but at the same time, I get it. The only thing I’m mad at you for is putting me in this predicament.”
“What predicament?”
“I was starting to think that maybe Sierra wasn’t so bad, and I figured if she’s good enough for you, she must actually be pretty great. But now, I don’t know what to think. She hurt my best friend, so all I want to do is cut a bitch.”
Ellie chuckled. Even though it didn’t heal her broken heart, being able to share this with her best friend definitely helped.
It was almost like a band-aid for her heart.
The cut was still very much there, but she felt better knowing she had something to help it heal.
“Please don’t do that. I think she might be hurting too right now.
” And that fact made Ellie’s pain even worse.
Sierra might have broken her heart, but Ellie still wanted nothing more than for her to be happy.
“She’s definitely hurting right now. It’s written all over her face.”
“I hadn’t noticed. I’ve been trying very hard to avoid looking at that face.”
“Well, in case you were wondering, she clearly loves you just as much as you love her. It’s pretty obvious.”
“That’s good to know… I guess.” Was it, though? It’s not like it changed anything.
“So, what’s the plan?”
“What do you mean?” Ellie searched Juniper’s face for some kind of clue as to what she was talking about.
“The plan to get your girl back. Duh.”
For the first time in weeks, Ellie felt a genuine smile spread across her face.
It was so comforting to know that, even after everything, her best friend had her back.
Unfortunately, it didn’t take long for reality to settle back in, and when it did, the smile fell from Ellie’s face, and the pain returned.
She stared down at the couch as the little bit of hope she had gained dwindled away.
“That’s not up to me. Sierra was the one who ended things.
She asked for time, and I have to respect that. My heart is in her hands.”
Ellie hoped and prayed she was gentle with it.