Chapter 2 - Jasper
“No.”
“I need this. Please, Kimber?” I ask, hoping that she can hear how desperate I am.
“Oh, I know. I can clearly see that. And yet my answer is still no.”
“But your NDA’s are iron clad. It will be fine.”
We are sitting in the little kitchen at the back of Kimber’s place, a mug of tea in front of us.
I had thought that if I came to Kimber she would see the state that I’m in and would relent and let me take a client.
I was sure that some of my regulars would still want me.
Hell, I’m sure the demand for me may have gone up.
“They are, and my clients know what happens if anything is leaked and yet the answer is still no. Jasper, you’re not anonymous anymore. The risk is just too great.”
“I know. It’s just….” But I can’t finish my sentence. I need to dominate someone. I need to have that control in my life. I hate feeling like this. Like I’m on some merry-go-round with no way off.
“Jasp,” Kimber states, she is the only other person to shorten my name and it normally means that she’s going to get serious, “What’s going on with you? We discussed that this could happen if you applied to Montague Racing. But we both agreed that it was an opportunity too great to miss.”
“I do love my job,” I start, but that’s the truth. When I applied to be Lars’s physio last year I knew the risk. I knew being in a team with such a media spotlight meant that it could change my life, but I needed to use my degree for more than working at a gym.
“You reconnected with David, too. I always liked him.”
“David is married to Richard.” Sometimes I think that deep down Kimber wanted me to apply for Montague Racing to get back together with David.
It was never going to happen. Our relationship had run its course fifteen years ago.
It also took me about thirty seconds to see that there was something going on between Richard and David when I joined the team.
“I know,” Kimber replies, rolling her eyes at me. “I meant as friends.”
“Sure you did.”
“So are you going to tell me what is going on with you?” Kimber asks.
“If you let me have a client. All I need is an hour. Surely someone wants a blowjob,” I try.
“Still not happening, so quit trying,” Kimber answers, but I see the smile playing on her lips. I think she’s enjoying this back and forth between us.
I finally admit defeat. I should’ve known that Kimber was never going to back down.
This business is her life and she spent too long building and protecting it.
I remember the day she told me about what she wanted to do.
I thought she was crazy. Who in their right mind wants to open a high-end brothel?
And yet when Kimber suggested I join when she saw me struggling and getting more and more in debt, I had thought, what the hell.
My plan had been to keep it going for a few months.
Get myself out of debt, get some money saved and then go and find other work.
But I started to enjoy it. Started to get regulars.
Then one night Kimber mentioned having to turn down an applicant because they wanted to be dominated and it wasn’t something she offered.
She hated doing that. A very interesting conversation had followed, well it was more awkward than interesting.
Telling your sister about your sex life is not fun.
So I became the company dominant, which increased my clientele and surprised the crap out of Kimber.
She hadn’t realised there was such a demand, and I was able to earn even more money.
So instead of the job only lasting months, it lasted years.
In fact, I had planned to continue, coming back when there were breaks in the season.
But being photographed with David when he came back from Qatar changed those plans.
“Jasp, you’re starting to get me worried. You’re never normally this quiet,” Kimber asks. “What’s going on?”
“There’s a guy on the team…” I start, but before I can finish Kimber is already reacting.
“If they’re being a homophobic twat, point them in my direction or go and speak to Vincent,” Kimber demands, and I can’t help the laugh that bubbles out of me.
“Kimber, there are five openly gay men on this team. No one is going to be homophobic, or if they are they will keep their opinions to themselves. Vincent pays his staff very well, so I don’t think anyone is going to risk rocking the boat.”
“Okay, so what’s this man doing?”
“Nothing.” And I see the look of confusion cross Kimber’s face at my words.
“You are making zero sense. He has to have been doing something to get you into this state.”
“He hasn’t, he’s just a genuinely nice guy. Sticks up for gay rights.” I start looking at the table so Kimber can’t see my face. I have never been able to hide my emotions from her.
“Otis?” Kimber states, and my face shoots up to look at her.
“What?” How the hell does she know about Otis?
“Jasp you are not the only one that followed David’s career and then when you joined the team I took an even more invested interest. I watched the press conference.”
“Yeah Otis,” I confirm.
“Jasp?” Kimber questions.
“I think I have a crush on him,” I finally mumble.
“And?”
“He’s straight,” I reply.
“Are you sure?” Kimber asks gently.
“One hundred percent, and I have no idea what to do.”
“This is completely different,” Kimber gently says, and she reaches over and places her hand over mine.
“Is it? My head is already screwed.”
“Yeah, it’s different. For one you aren’t sleeping with him. Otis isn‘t Clive, he sounds nice for a start, but I’m guessing that he has no idea you have feelings for him?”
“No idea. But God, you’ve seen him. He is so fucking sexy.”
“Not going to argue with that. Do you think that’s a requirement for being a racing driver? Not only do you have to be good behind the wheel but you also have to look like you can walk the runway at any fashion week.”
I know what Kimber is doing, she’s trying to lighten the mood with laughter. She’s trying to stop me from thinking about him. Thinking about what happened. Thinking about the darkness that consumed me.
“No, I don’t think it’s a requirement. Just a happy coincidence,” I answer, giving her a slight smile.
“Jasper.” Well shit, she’s about to get serious, she wouldn’t be using my full name otherwise.
“Otis comes across as a good kid. Little young, but good. But you are going to have to realise that nothing is going to happen between you. You have just fallen for the straight kid. I think that might be a rite of passage for any gay man. You are just going to have to decide how you handle it from here.”
“How I handle it?”
“Yeah, from here I think you have two options. You can keep your distance. You’re contracted to work with Lars. And that is all you do. Don’t go to social gatherings, etc.”
“Not going to happen. That is one close knit team,” I say. There is no way I could do that. It would alienate me from everyone. “So what is option two?”
“You suck it up.”
“What?” Laughing at the bluntness of her delivery.
“You are a grown arse man in his thirties. Yeah you had dealt with some shit before, not going deny that, but you are not that man anymore. Deal with it. If it’s just a crush it will pass. Also, maybe go and get laid.”
“Getting laid is why I came here,” I add, trying to give her a hopeful smile.
“And it’s still not going to happen. Can’t you go to one of your clubs?” Kimber asks.
“Isn’t that kind of the same thing as me just getting a client? With the exception it is probably safer here,” I counter, and I watch as Kimber opens her mouth to argue but as the words register, she sees my argument.
“Don’t get laid then. Maybe just have a wank. Get it out of your system that way.”
Laughter erupts out of me, because whose sister says something like that to their brother? But when your sister runs a service offering sex and has details of what you like, what’s the point in holding back.
“What?” she asks, seeing my reaction.
“Seriously, have a wank?” I manage to say as my laughing subsides.
“Why not? Room two is free. I know how much you like that room,” Kimber states, and this conversation is not going how I imagined at all.
“You aren’t helping,” I say.
“How does wanking work as a Dom, do you have to tell yourself not to come? But then does that make you submissive as well?” Kimber adds, and I can see the twinkle in her eye.
“Why the fuck did I tell you I was a dominant?”
“As your sister, I wonder about that all the Goddamn time. As your ex-boss, it was for the clients.”
“You do know that my sister should not know so much about my sex life,” I add, finally feeling lighter.
“Yes I know that too.”
“Thank you,” I say over to her.
“Jasp, you don’t need to thank me. I’m your sister and I love you. I will always be here for you, but if you want to introduce me to Otis at any time, I won’t say no.”
“Yeah, not going to happen,” and then just because I can’t resist, “unless we make a deal. I have a client and then I make introductions.”
“I’ll just call Richard or David. They’ll help me, I’m sure,” Kimber replies as she looks at her watch. “Sorry, I have a client coming soon, no pun intended,” she adds, when she sees me opening my mouth at her words. “Do you want to stay here for a while?”
“I might just head home.”
“What about Richard and David? Could you meet up with them? I don’t like the thought of you spending too much time alone at the moment.”
“The team is having a party at Vincent’s house. He’s trying to mend bridges with Richard.”
Kimber gets up from her seat opposite me and slaps me lightly around the head.
“Jasper Knight, what the fuck are you doing here crying to your sister when there is a team event going on?”
“Otis,” I reply, like this is going to explain everything.