13. Scarlett
Chapter 13
Scarlett
I scoot back off of Cian’s lap and stand in front of him.
Adrenaline and lust are dumping into my system in equal portions and every single nerve ending in my body is firing.
I can’t believe I’m doing this.
I’m outside on my back patio. My daughter and sister and Henry are inside.
I have neighbors on both sides of my back fence and Mrs. Arnold lives behind me.
But I don’t care.
Of course, I don’t think any of them can really see anything, even if they did happen to look out the right window just now. It’s dark, there are trees, the patio is surrounded by bushes and potted plants on one side, and the neighbor’s garage on the other. It’s also late and I know Mrs. Arnold is in bed.
But even if they could see us, I don’t care.
Cian makes me like this. He did this to me in New Orleans too. I put off moving to Ohio for two full days because of him.
But…fuck it.
Things have kind of sucked here for the past, well, as long as we’ve been back and… honestly, for a long time when we lived here the first time too. I want a good memory here. I want good feelings. And this man? The one sitting in front of me watching me like I’m actually magical and amazing, the man who has been looking for me for nineteen months, the man who claims he hasn’t been with anyone else since he was with me, because of me… yeah, he can make me not care about anything else and can absolutely make me feel good.
I hook my thumbs in the waistband of my shorts and push them and my panties down, stepping out of them. I’m not sure where they end up, because my eyes are glued to Cian and the way he grips the arms of the chair as I strip.
I think he memorized every inch of my body in New Orleans, but I still feel like I’m undressing for him for the first time.
All of that time with him in New Orleans ratchets up my excitement. He knows exactly what I want and need. I never realized sex could be like it was with Cian. I thought I was spending the night with a hot younger guy who would just be excited about getting laid and it would be a one and done. I’d hoped for an orgasm but hadn’t really been betting on it.
But he was bossy and patient and all about me. He made me come three times before he fucked me the first time. He seemed to get enormous pleasure from my orgasms. He also loved telling me what to do.
I’d loved that too.
It was strangely a relief. I didn’t have to perform. I didn’t have to have the right words. I didn’t have to have any answers or worry about how things were for him.
He told me. Bluntly, graphically, over and over how things were for him. And what he wanted from me. And what he wanted to do to me, what he wanted me to do to him. Hell, what he wanted me to do to myself.
It was amazing. I could just shut my brain off and follow his lead and enjoy.
And oh, had I enjoyed. That had been heavenly.
And yes, it had resulted in me being more open and vulnerable with him than I was with anyone other than Ruby.
“Are you cold?” Cian asks.
The fire pit is about five feet behind me, the orange flames lighting the area in a soft glow but keeping us mostly in shadow.
“The very opposite of cold.”
“Then I need to see all of you,” he tells me.
I have never been naked in my backyard. I’ve never even been out here in a swimming suit. But I don’t hesitate to peel off my t-shirt and then sports bra, tossing them to the chair beside Cian’s.
“Come here.”
I step forward.
He unzips his pants and lowers his jeans and boxers. I watch as he draws his hard cock out, stroking the length firmly.
I remember how well he filled me, how it felt to have him hammering into me, one of my legs thrown over his shoulder. I also remember how it felt to have him moving slowly and deeply as he looked into my eyes. I shiver. The sex had been intense, not just because of the size of his cock and how well he used it, but because of him . And yes, the connection between us, dammit.
“I’ve thought of you every damned night, Scarlett,” he tells me, his voice rough.
He looks frustrated about that, maybe even a little angry.
I swallow. “Me too.”
“Do you know how hard it is to resist the urge to throw you over my shoulder, get on my plane, fly to Cara, and tie you to my bed until you agree to marry me?” he asks.
My eyes widen. But not because of his words. I’m startled by how my heart flips and starts pounding.
I do not want that.
But it sure as hell is nice to have someone want me that much .
Yeah, yeah, the pathetic side of me that has been trying to be good but has had approval withheld since I was a little girl is a loud bitch sometimes.
“Is kidnapping legal in Cara?” I ask, trying to sound flippant and flirty.
“Everything is legal for the royal family.”
I give him a half smile. “That doesn’t sound right.”
He shrugs. “Come here and make it up to me and maybe we won’t need to worry about kidnapping and the legalities.”
I note the ‘maybe’, but I don’t need any further encouragement to get his hands back on me. I crawl onto his lap, straddling his thighs again. But this time I’m completely naked. When he slides his hand down to cup me this time there’s nothing between his big, hot palm and my very wet center.
I suck in a quick breath as he slides his finger over my clit.
“So wet,” he murmurs.
I nod.
“All for me.” It’s not a question.
I nod again.
He slides a finger into me and I moan, gripping his shoulders.
“Fuck, I’ve missed this,” he says gruffly. “The dreams I’ve had about you and this perfect cunt.” He adds a second finger and picks up the pace, fucking me faster.
He runs his other hand from my hip up my side to cup one breast. He rubs his thumb back and forth over it, teasing my nipple, making my pussy tighten around his fingers.
“Cian,” I gasp.
Then he slides that hand to the back of my neck, pulling me forward until our foreheads touch.
He buries his fingers deep and says, “For the rest of these eighteen days, you’re not going to deny us this. No matter what else we figure out, no matter how this thing ends up, you’re going to let me worship you. You’re going to let me give you what your body needs, at least. You’re going to explore all of the things you want and need.”
That hits me directly in the chest.
God, I want that.
I never let myself go like I did with Cian.
I know that he’s realized I told him a lot of truths. The brainstorming we did about the program to support single moms was all me. The way I spoke about loving my family and how close I am to Ruby and Mariah was truly me. And the things I said and did and let him do in bed were definitely me.
Because he was safe. Because I didn’t think I’d see him again.
But now…
I still feel safe with him.
Obviously, not seeing him again is not as easy as I anticipated—as it should have been and would have been with any other guy—but I still feel able to be fully myself.
I realize I’ve stopped moving. I’m even holding my breath.
“Don’t hide from this,” Cian says against my lips. “Don’t pretend with this. You’re safe with me. You can be and have whatever you want with me. As long as it’s real.”
Oh…fuck. This is…tempting as hell.
But it’s temporary. Seventeen more days.
Then he’ll go marry someone else.
My heart jolts hard in my chest at that.
But I have to be realistic here. I can’t make a life with a guy like Cian.
Besides, he needs a princess. That is not me.
But he wants to have seventeen more days with me. He’s insisting on it. Can I spend those days just having amazing sex? Can I have two fucking weeks of fun in this town? Why not? Do I deserve it? Maybe. Fucking, maybe.
Finally, I say, “Okay.”
“That’s my girl.”
He brings me in and kisses me deeply, moving his fingers, fast and deep.
I grind down against his hand, kissing him back. But after a minute, I rip my mouth away. “Need you. Not just your fingers.”
“Take what you need, sweet witch.”
I reach between us and grasp his cock. “I still have the IUD,” I tell him. “And I really haven’t been with anyone else.”
Of course we had the conversation about our health and birth control when we were together. The first few times we used condoms, but by the end of our weekend together, we were going without.
He pulls back to meet my eyes. “I was serious too,” he says. “There hasn’t been anyone. Not even a drink with anyone else.”
God, that’s amazing. How is that possible? I don’t understand it. But I do believe him.
He squeezes my neck. “Fuck me, Scarlett.”
Yes, please. I’m doing this for seventeen more days, dammit. I spent years being proper and pious and have nothing to show for it. At least during these two-plus weeks, I’ll have orgasms and be left with some additional memories to conjure when I pull out my vibrator in the years ahead.
I shift on Cian’s lap, positioning him at my entrance, then sinking down over him.
We both groan as he slides deep. His fingers tighten on my hips. I grip his shoulder.
He’s stretching and filling me, and I have to force myself to breathe. It’s been a long time. Thank God I’m so wet.
He grips me tightly, pressing me all the way down on his cock. “My God,” he rasps. “Jesus, Scarlett.”
I just nod, not really able to speak. I’m not sure what I’d say. Other than, I want to do this with you forever , and that is not acceptable.
“I haven’t forgotten a thing about you,” he says, “But damn , you’re so fucking tight.”
“You feel so good,” I say. “You fill me up and it’s so good.”
“You’re so perfect.” He kisses my throat. “I’m meant to fuck you forever, Scarlett. You own me.”
Well… hell. What am I supposed to do with that ?
I’d like to chalk it up to him being young and stars-in-his-eyes, but he’s thirty, for fuck’s sake. He’s been around the world. He’s been with far more partners than I have. When it comes to life experience, his has been cushier than mine, but it’s also been more varied and vast than mine. I can’t just pretend he’s some hot, spoiled kid like I kept telling myself in New Orleans.
Oh, I think he’s a little—or a lot—spoiled. But he’s older and more accomplished than I’d realized.
Instead of saying anything at all, I just run my hands through his hair and move up and down on his cock, picking up the pace, and letting the delicious, hot sensations zing throughout my body.
Then he tips me so that I’m taking him even deeper and so that the angle ensures that my clit gets plenty of friction on each stroke.
It’s been a long time and he’s so damned good at this and…okay, I really like this guy…so it’s not long before my orgasm starts to coil deep in my core.
“Oh my God, I’m so close,” I gasp.
“Give it to me,” he tells me, squeezing my ass. “Let me feel you.”
I can’t help the whimper that escapes when he presses against my lower back, grinding my clit against him. “Cian!”
He reaches up and covers my mouth. “Quiet, sweet witch,” he says. “This orgasm is all for me. The neighbors don’t get to hear how gorgeous you sound when you come.”
That flips a switch inside me for some reason and I feel my orgasm begin to tighten, tighten, tighten, then let go.
“Yes!” I shout into Cian’s hand.
I can fully let go since he’s muffling the sound, and it feels so good to just give into the pleasure and let it wash over me.
The orgasm rolls through me and I feel my pussy milking Cian’s cock. He fucks me faster, clasping my hip, not uncovering my mouth.
“There you go, that’s right, take it,” he grits out, slamming up into me. Then his orgasm hits. “Fuck yes. Fuck , Scarlett. Jesus. Yes.”
I keep moving over him, and he thrusts a few more times.
Our movements slow until finally, I slump against him, and he collapses back into the chair.
He wraps his arms around me, pressing my head into his shoulder. He runs his hands up and down my back.
And I just let him hold me again.
Ruby and Mariah are both huggers, but that’s the extent of the physical touch I get, and this just feels too good to let go.
I did not expect this to happen when we came out here. But I regret nothing.
And I promise myself I won’t tomorrow either.
It’s sex. Between two consenting adults who’ve done it before.
I trust him. I like him. I’ve been upfront about what this can be and what it can’t. And… I deserve this.
For now anyway.
We just sit for several minutes. Crickets and frogs are singing in the night. A car drives by on the road in front of the house. A dog barks somewhere a few blocks away.
Finally, I stir.
Cian puts his hand on the back of my head, keeping my cheek against his shoulder. “Before you say anything,” he says. “Everything we talked about still goes. I’m here for eighteen more days?—”
“Seventeen,” I murmur.
He blows out a breath. “Right. Seventeen. And we’re going to spend time together. We’re going to get to know each other. And we’re going to keep doing this . You’re going to explore all of your fantasies. You get to be whoever you want with me, Scarlett. The real you. Maybe a you that you don’t even know very well yet. But this is not the last time we’re doing this.”
Maybe a you that you don’t even know very well yet.
That sucks the breath right out of my lungs.
That sounds so…nice.
I’ve been working on being a new me. A me that I like and that I’m proud of. I want to be someone Mariah can be proud of, and someone Ruby can feel is worth all of the time and energy and trouble. Someone Brian would have been proud of.
But she’s not the me I am right now. And I’m fucking frustrated as hell by that.
I want to be accepted here in Emerald. I want to be a part of this community in a meaningful way. Someone who actually does good. Someone who actually takes the stuff I used to preach and practices it and is seen for that.
But damn, it feels like an uphill battle.
When I try to sit up this time, Cian lets me. I look at him for a long moment before I say, “How do you know that I’m still working on being the real me?”
He lifts a brow. “Because I’m extremely intelligent despite my laid-back playboy persona.” He starts to give me one of his flirty grins. But he stops and lets the smile die. He shrugs, a more solemn look on his face now. “I like people. I pay attention. I especially like you and I paid a hell of a lot of attention to you. You let go with me because I knew nothing about you, and you thought you’d never see me again.”
He’s exactly right. Stunned, I nod.
“You need to be that Scarlett.” He pauses again. “Right?”
I think about that Scarlett. There was a lot about that Scarlett I liked. A lot. And it wasn’t just the orgasms.
I nod.
“You’re going to have to learn not to underestimate me,” he says.
I swallow. “Yeah, I’m figuring that out.”
“Good.”
We stare at each other for another long moment.
Then that dog barks again and I snap out of it.
Great. I’m probably falling in love with him while sitting naked on his lap right here on my back patio.
I climb to my feet and gather my clothes, pulling them back on, sans bra and panties. I’m just going upstairs to bed. Well, to shower, and then to bed. I can’t sleep all sticky and messy and hot from him.
Though I kind of want to.
When I’m dressed, I take a breath. I have no idea what to say.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Cian says. He’s still sitting, just watching me. Though he’s zipped up. That’s good. I guess. Less tempting at least.
But…he’s not less tempting just because he’s fully dressed. Not at all.
I’m in a lot of trouble here.
Why am I so bad at interpersonal relationships? I can handle anything having to do with engines, transmissions, really even most machines. Brian taught me all about cars, but I’ve figured out blenders, toasters, and even a lawnmower once. If something like that stops working, I can figure out the problem and fix it.
But people? I can figure out how to help them interact with each other, it seems, but I keep messing my own interactions up.
“Yeah.” I can’t help but smile, though. As if I could avoid him if I wanted to. And now that I’ve admitted that I don’t want to, I’m in trouble. But I’ll definitely be seeing him. “We have to see each other, right? Only seventeen days left.”
He chuckles. “Should we get a big wall calendar and mark off the days as we go?”
I smile. “No worries. I’ve got it all right here.” I tap my temple. Then I start for the back door.
“That sounds like you’re eager to get it over with,” Cian calls after me. “That’s wicked witch stuff, Glinda.”
I chuckle softly but as I make my way up the stairs and his words replay in my mind, my smile slowly fades and I’m frowning by the time I step into the bathroom.
I was definitely sweet and submissive and all in for all of that in New Orleans. And—I take a deep breath as heat hits me now, remembering then and just now on my patio—in the bedroom and other naked-together circumstances I think I still will be.
But Cian O’Grady needs to learn that I do indeed have a wicked side.
And not in the sexy spank-me-Your-Highness way.