14. Liam
fourteen
Liam
H ave you ever tried?
Beau’s question about relationships has been playing on repeat in my head for days. Was it right to call Stas at this hour? Fuck no. But I did it anyway, and now I’m leaping out of bed to yank on a black t-shirt, faded jeans, and my combat boots like my life depends on it.
Stomping past the spare bedroom, my heart stalls at Beau’s absence. It doesn’t settle until I backtrack and see his backpack rested against the side of the dresser.
He’s still here.
He must be at the studio. He’s been hanging there after his shifts almost every night since I coaxed him into working for me.
Should I offer him a ride home? I could give him the keys to the Porsche while he stays with me. It’s currently tucked under a protective cover in my other garage bay.
Hopping in my Pantera, I speed toward the dot on my phone GPS I’d keyed in earlier after Hail shared his sister’s apartment name and unit. I’ll risk a felony to get to her faster.
She’s posted up just outside Uptown, ten miles away but a thirty-minute drive in the daytime.
As soon as I whip into a spot next to her beat-up SUV, I catch her second-story door opening. I bound up the stairs, eager to get closer to her .
Why did I wait this long?
My stride falters when her big brown eyes land on me. She’s got her long, thick waves unbound, and she’s wearing a crop-top and black yoga pants.
Fucking yoga pants.
“Stasi.” I wait for the normal crushing pressure on my lungs that usually makes me want to run away. When it doesn’t come, I stride forward and pull her against me. I bury my face in the warm crook of her neck and ask the question I’ve been afraid of since I ditched her in my bed. “You okay?”
Her fingers glide up my back, spreading over my shoulder blades. “I am now.”
Dipping down to grip her thighs, I lift her up into my arms. She wraps her legs around me. Her hands come to rest over my heavily beating heart.
An apology sticks like a barb in my throat.
Our night together was incredible, but I can’t reassure her of anything.
I can’t pin down my own fucking nature. I’m afraid of promising something and then going back on my word.
Afraid of risking her heart in some fucked up experiment to see if I can do this when I’m not even convinced I’m worthy of love.
She touches her palms to my cheeks like I’m something precious. Unable to hold myself back any longer, I surge forward and capture her mouth with mine.
What begins as a desperate kiss quickly transforms into a wild lashing of tongues. I don’t even pretend to be in control of myself tonight. I’m too tangled up in my lust for the woman clutched in my arms.
I want to give her more. I do. I really fucking do.
“Stas." I feather kisses over her mouth. "I need you.”
She nods and whispers, "Always need you. "
Drawing back, I gaze into her eyes as my heart pounds hard enough to break ribs.
How could she be so reckless with her heart?
She guides me out of my thoughts, reaching up to undo my hair. Her little smile as it tumbles down has me leaning in to nip at her bottom lip.
These glimpses of her naughtiness absolutely wreck me. As her confidence grows, I can only imagine how dangerous she’ll become. How she’ll put both me and Beau on our knees.
Maybe I won’t ruin her.
Maybe she’ll be our downfall. Because in my head, we’re doomed to come together again.
Stas wiggles out of my arms and drops to her feet. Clutching my hand, she leads me through her apartment. I frown at the boxes piled in the dark corners, wondering if I should offer to help her unpack.
That concern vanishes when she pulls me into her bedroom. Tugging her against me, I run inked fingers through her silky hair, taking a moment to admire her. “You are so fucking perfect, angel.”
She shakes her head, her little nose scrunching. “I have no wings. No halo. I’m stuck down here on the ground, looking up at you on a pedestal.”
I blink at her in shock as she eases her hands up my shirt to rest over my abs. They quiver beneath her warm touch. A little rumble of approval slips from me.
We trade off stripping pieces of clothing from each other’s bodies. When she gets me down to my boxers, her eyes flash with panic as she slowly removes them.
I grip her chin between inked fingers, bringing her eyes back to mine. “What do you need? ”
Her eyes shine with determination. “You. I don’t want you to hold back.”
Growling, I move her hand to wrap it around my cock. “Do you feel what you do to me when you say shit like that?”
“I’m not afraid of you, Liam.”
I force her body back until her legs hit the bed. She collapses onto it. I lean down to kiss her hard, coaxing my way into her mouth with my tongue. Her fingers claw at me, eager to drag me on top of her.
“You don’t know what you’re asking for,” I warn.
“I do, Liam. Please .”
She thinks she can handle me. I can’t help but want to give her a taste. Wrapping my hand around her neck, I position her body sideways along the edge of the bed. It’s a heady vision, seeing her mouth level with my cock. She’s at my mercy, and I’m drowning in a sea of fixation.
“You think you want me unhinged, Anastasia?” I brush my thumb under the curve of her lip.
Wide-eyed, her throat bobs as she nods. I hadn’t planned on actually testing her, but she seems to enjoy being handled this way, so I dive a hand into her hair and drag her closer. “Good. Open for me.”
My blood thunders in my veins when her lips part.
She quickly wets them with her tongue before sneaking a lick at my crown.
I groan, tightening my fingers in her hair.
I shouldn’t love stepping over this boundary, but I get off on breaking the rules.
So yeah, I’m gonna let my best friend’s sister blow me if that’s what she wants to do.
“Easy,” I murmur, slowly feeding her my cock. Her chest rises and falls in rapid succession as I let her get comfortable with my crown. She bobs there in a lazy rhythm, sucking me hard enough to have my knees threatening to buckle.
“ Fuck . You’re so good at being bad for me. ”
I ease deeper into her mouth, relishing in the way she’s running her tongue over me. When I hit the back of her throat, tears form in her eyes. I swipe a rogue one away.
As much as I want to stay buried in her warm, wet mouth, I pull out a few inches so she can catch her breath. I’m not tame when it comes to sexual activities, and the idea of finding her limits has me nearly spilling prematurely.
“Do you want me to touch you?” I ask huskily.
She whimpers on my soaked length. I trace my free hand down her curves and rest it between her legs to cup her sex, smirking at the way her body tightens in anticipation.
Dragging my cock out of her mouth, I bend down until we’re breathing the same air. I take her jaw in my other hand, and lick up one of her tears. Then I sink a finger deep into her slick, hot pussy. Her eyes shudder closed, more tears rolling down her cheeks.
I move my mouth to her ear, basking in the way she’s trembling all over. “Want you to deep throat me one day. Would you do that for me? Want to feel the tip of my cock right here.” I tap my thumb against her throat.
She whimpers on a nod.
“Perfect girl.” I push another finger inside of her and hold it there until she grips my forearm and tries to make my hand move. “Uh uh. I’m not done playing with you.”
She gasps as I curl both fingers slightly, running them along her inner wall as my thumb traces circles over her clit.
As I straighten back up, she leans forward to swallow my cock again. I hadn’t planned on finishing this way, but who am I to deny anything this woman wants?
Anything except commitment .
I let her suck me for a little while longer. When I finally pull my cock free from her swollen, spit-soaked lips, she looks up at me in a haze, waiting for my next instructions.
I’m done taking tonight. That’s not what she needs. That’s not why I came here.
Carefully, I reposition her in the middle of the bed. Bracing my weight over her, I kiss her tenderly, thumbs brushing over her damp cheeks. I keep it to just hands and lips for as long as she can withstand it.
“Do you need me to tell you again how much I want you?” she asks, those big brown eyes weaponized against me.
I kiss her over and over again. Her lips. Her cheeks. Her neck. “So fucking precious. If I had a heart, you would be holding it in your hands.”
A little wrinkle forms between her brows. I kiss it away, not wanting to give her space to argue with me. I let Beau get inside my head, and look where that got me. Calling up my best friend’s sister, determined to make love to her.
“Condom?” I ask.
“Birth control.”
I drop my head to her collarbone on a long exhale. “I get tested frequently. Haven’t been with anyone but you and Beau since I’ve been home. Stas, if you want this—”
Her hands touch my sides. “I do. I trust you.”
With slow movements, I push into her tight body until I’m fully settled. We begin to move in synchrony, matching gentle thrusts. I can’t bring myself to break away from kissing her. I swallow up her little moans and gasps, hungry for more, as my hands explore her body .
Of all the shit I’ve experimented with when it comes to sex, this right here was always my hard limit. It’s an entirely new experience. I should have known it would be good with her.
Muscles tighten around me, and she lets out a breathy moan as she comes. I cling to her as I come undone right after.
We stay like that for some time, molded together, covered in a sheen of sweat and panting. I’ve never let anyone hold me like this. Barely let anyone touch me.
The cool kiss of a tear against my cheek has me lifting my head to look at her. “Stas.”
“Who are you and what have you done with Liam?” she asks in a broken tone.
That damaged organ in my chest swells, putting terrifying pressure on my lungs. “I don’t know. I don’t know what I’m doing.” I nuzzle my head against her neck. “You can’t trust me not to hurt you.”
She brushes fingers along the back of my neck. “Hurt happens. Whether we choose to inflict it or not.”
I squeeze her tighter as I let some of my worries slip past my armor. “I used to swing back. Did I ever tell you that?”
Her fingers pause on my skin. “Liam…”
“I’m wired for violence, Stasi.”
She's silent for a beat. “Your dad did horrible things to you.”
I’m not having any of her excuses. That’s not my goal.
“I hurt a kid, too. In elementary school. Remember Gavin? Gave him a concussion and a scar.”
“He bullied you relentlessly. I saw him wrap his hands around your throat and try to choke you.”
I lift my head up to meet her eyes and share the warning I came here to give, hoping she refuses to listen to it. “I’m no good at these things. Labels terrify me. This isn’t something I’ve ever wanted, and I can’t say for sure that it ever will be.”
Her fingers stroke from my temple down to my jaw. I’ve never given anyone as much control as I’m giving her now. Never had two people flip my world upside-down like the two of them did in one evening.
“This is enough,” she murmurs. “Half or a whole, you are enough for me.”
Her words are a serrated knife to the chest. This isn’t fucking fair. She deserves more than that. She deserves more than me.
Pushing through the discomfort in my chest, I kiss her again. I kiss the tears that sneak out of her eyes. I kiss her cheeks and her chin. The world could be burning around us, and I wouldn’t be able to stop kissing her.
When a frown pulls her lips down, I ask, “What’s wrong?”
Her hands slip away from me. “What about Beau?”
Silent for a few moments, I study her expression, wanting to know exactly what she’s thinking.
But I came here to offer up honesty. I don’t want to put an end to whatever is developing with Beau, which further proves how much of an asshole I am. I’m already messing this up before we’ve even started.
“I don’t think I can push him away. Not right now,” I admit.
She swallows. “What if I tell you I don’t want you to do that?”
My heart gives an extra thud. “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” she whispers, her gaze dropping to where her finger has started tracing a tattoo on my forearm. “Liam, I think I like him. Is it wrong to have feelings for two people at once?”
I hate that she’s constantly fighting that voice in her head seeking to make her feel less, but neither of us is ignorant of the cost Hail paid when he fell in love with a man. Unconventional has no place in her family.
“Wrong by whose standards, angel?” I challenge .
She pushes out her lips. I lean in to sink my teeth into the bottom one and then kiss away the pain. “The only thing to consider is how you feel about spending time with both of us.”
I watch her process my words as I run my fingers over her hair.
“I feel good with both of you.” A smile forms on her full lips, stopping my pulse. There’s that little glimpse of rebellion that has me hooked on her. “It feels like I’m breaking rules.”
Grinning, I kiss her mouth. “Good. Go ahead and keep breaking them.”