Chapter 33
Ramsey~
I ’d stood outside the diner for an hour before I realized that Emerson had left.
I’d been playing around on my phone, trying to kill time, and every time that I looked up and through the diner windows, it seemed as if I kept missing Emerson. I had finally put my phone down, then watched the hubbub of the diner through the windows, and it hadn’t been until I’d seen an older lady making her rounds in Emerson’s section that I’d realized that something might be up.
At first, I’d thought that Emerson might be on break, or that she might be helping out in back, or something along those lines. However, an hour later, and with no Emerson sightings, I knew that she’d left work already.
I paced next to my car, counting to ten. I didn’t blame her one bit for bailing on me, but it didn’t help with my frustration levels. I was ready to storm the diner and take hostages when the waitress from earlier approached me, stopping me.
“Oh, hey,” she greeted. “You’re Emerson’s friend from earlier, right?”
My feet stopped in front of her. “Yeah.”
“Oh, well, she already left,” she volunteered, and it wasn’t until she stepped into my personal space that I realized why she was being so helpful. “Is there anything I can help you with?”
I had no interest in her whatsoever. However, I needed information from her, so I couldn’t be an outright dick. “I think I entered Emerson’s address wrong,” I lied. “My GPS keeps getting me lost.”
Rebecca looked over at my Range Rover, then tsk’ed. “You know, you’re risking some serious vandalism if you drive that thing out to the trailer park.”
“That’s what I have insurance for,” I replied dryly. “But thanks.”
Her brows furrowed. “For what?”
“Letting me know where I can find Emerson,” I answered as I turned my back on her, then got into my car.
I pulled out my phone, then searched for Hantover Trailer Park, and God bless there was only one, and it was only a few blocks away. I started my car, then drove towards the park.
When I finally came upon it, I could totally see why Rebecca had warned me. The place was a debilitating disaster. The grass was the color of lifeless wheat, and there was graffiti everywhere. I drove past the office, and even that looked like it belonged in a horror flick. It killed me to know that this was where Emerson had run to; that this level of poverty and desperation was where she’d felt safe enough to run to.
I finally came upon a small trailer where her car was parked. I didn’t waste any time as I got out of my car, locked it, then was up the rickety steps in seconds. I was about to knock when a sound brought me up short. I looked around but didn’t see anything. When I heard the sound again, that’s when I realized that it was coming from inside the trailer. I put my ear up to the door, and that’s when I could finally identify the sound.
Emerson was weeping.
Emerson was sitting inside a rundown trailer, and she was sobbing because of me.
That knowledge was eating me alive.
I turned the doorknob, and to my surprise, it was unlocked. I didn’t wait for permission to enter because I knew that I wouldn’t get it. So, I walked in like I had every right to, and the sight before me gutted me completely. Emerson was sitting on her couch, clutching a pillow as she cried and cried.
I locked the door behind me, then stepped towards her. “Emerson…”
Her face shot up from the pillow, and her eyes widened at the realization that I was here. Her wails must have drowned out my arrival. “Ra…Ram…sey…”
“Baby-” I started as I reached for her, but her next move stopped me cold.
She was completely unmanning me.
Emerson threw the pillow off her lap, then she sank to the floor on her knees in front of me. Her beautiful slate-colored eyes were so wet that they looked like flowing mercury. “Ppp…please, Ramsey,” she begged through her sobs. “You…w…win, okay. Okay? You win,” she bawled. “Y…you win. So…so just…please…pl…please leave me a…alone. Please.”
I couldn’t breathe.
My Emerson…my strong, fearless, stubborn, challenging Emerson was on her knees, begging me to just let her be. She was a broken mess, and I was the person who’d broken her.
“Emer-”
“Please…oh, God, please, Ramsey,” she continued to beg. “W…Why can’t you just…just leave me alone?” Her sobs turned into bone shattering wails. “I’m sorry…I’m sorry for…for whatever…ever I did…to…to you. Just…just ple…please leave me alone.”
Jesus Christ.
Emerson in the throes of an emotional breakdown had to be the most magnificent thing that I’d ever seen in my life. She was absolutely the most beautiful thing walking this earth, and I knew that I wasn’t worthy of such breathtaking beauty.
Nevertheless, I reached down, then hauled her up by her arm. She was still crying and shaking when I took hold of her chin, then forced her to look at me. “I want you to listen and listen well, understand?” I waited for her to nod in understanding, and when she did, I said, “Don’t you ever get on your knees for anyone ever again, Emerson.” Her eyes widened, but she remained quiet. “You are the best person I know. People should be on their knees before you , not the other way around.”
Her eyelids closed, forcing more tears to flow down her cheeks. Emerson’s tears were so incredibly stunning that they were turning me on, and I knew that I should be ashamed of that, but I wasn’t.
She opened her eyes again, and ignoring what I’d said, asked, “Wh…why are you here, Ramsey?”
I cradled her face in my hands, then did my best to clean off her tears with my thumbs. “I’m here because I fucked up,” I admitted. “I’m here because I have to make this right, Emerson.” She started sobbing again. “I’m here because I was wrong, and I don’t think that I can live without you, baby.”
Emerson’s sobs were breaking my heart, so I did the only thing that I could think of. I gathered her up in my arms, then sat with her on the couch, cradling her to me. I held her and let her cry it all out. I didn’t know what she was thinking, but all I could think about was her on her knees as she begged me to quit hurting her, and it was an image that was going to haunt me for the rest of my fucking life.
She’d said that I’d won, and those two little words- you win -had felt like there would never be anything good in my life ever again. Those words meant that she really believed that this had all been a game to me. She believed that this was all one big joke, and because her feelings had been genuine, I’d won.
I’d thought that nothing could make me feel worse than the images of her in the school hallway, defiled and humiliated, but I’d been wrong. Even in that hallway, covered in used condoms, she had managed to walk out with her head held high. She had vomited, but she hadn’t cried. However, seeing her on her knees, begging me to leave her alone, that was worse.
Someone as resplendent as Emerson should never be on her knees before anyone. Unless she was down there because she wanted to suck my dick, Emerson was meant to rest her perfect ass on the tallest of pedestals. I wished that I could say that I was strong enough to walk away and let her live her life in peace, but I wasn’t. I needed Emerson like I needed my life’s blood, and I was not going to let her go.
No matter how much she hated me.
After about an hour, her sobs had subsided, and she was quietly trying to battle her hiccups. However, she didn’t try to pull away from me. She just stayed quiet in my arms until her meltdown had burned itself out.
I was contemplating taking her to go lay down when she finally spoke. “I think you should leave,” she whispered softly.
My arms tightened around her. I wasn’t going to lie. I was fucking terrified of letting her go. I let out a deep sigh. “We need to talk, Emerson.”
She wiggled herself out of my hold, and I watched silently as she made her way down the narrow hallway towards what I presumed was the bathroom. I could hear the water running through the loud pipes, and a few minutes later, Emerson was making her way back into the living room.
She stopped a few feet in front of me, then repeated what she’d said. “I think you should leave, Ramsey. We have nothing to talk about.”
I stood up, then closed the space between us. I stared down at her as I disagreed. “And I think that we need to talk.”
Her face was expressionless when she said, “I have nothing to say to you. I have nothing to say to you, and there isn’t anything I want to hear from you.”
“Emerson-”
“Just leave, Ramsey,” she repeated. “You’re not wanted here.”
I refused to believe her. I could admit that what I’d done was horrible, but could she really fall out of love with me after only a week? I didn’t think so. As a matter of fact, I was risking everything on that one small hope.
“So, you’re telling me that it only took seven days for your love for me to just vanish? You loved me so much that you bled all over me, but it’s a week later, and you feel nothing?”
I didn’t see it coming. I should have. I should have because, Lord knows, I deserved it, but I hadn’t. Nonetheless, Emerson’s aim was so powerful that my burning face snapped sideways.