Chapter 8
EIGHT
The silky waves made the catamaran’s journey in the open sea more pleasant than I’d anticipated. On the deck, I rested my eyes behind the tint of Chanel shades. A beige two-piece from this year’s catalog covered parts of my body that weren’t for the public’s viewing.
The sun’s rays kissed my skin. The toasty evening would leave a beautiful tan. The results were making their rounds in my head in the form of nude mirror meetings and halters to dinner with the women I would give a lung for.
Give my life for.
But, so was he. Looping around my head as if he owned property. He’d built an entire estate on both sides of my brain, hardly leaving room for anyone else.
I drew in a deep breath at the realization that the day had come for me to pack my belongings and move from the safety zone I’d made myself comfortable in. It wasn’t suitable for me anymore. I was born to take risks. I was taught to take risks. And, I lived to take risks.
They fueled my inner being, bringing me sheer joy and contentment. Kason had been a crutch. A temporary fix. A pit stop. A bargain chip. A safety net.
I didn’t want it anymore.
I didn’t want him anymore.
I didn’t want the predictability anymore.
I wanted the risk. I craved it. I couldn’t shake it. I came for it every night as I closed my eyes and replayed the moment his fingers strung me like a vintage guitar.
The time I’d promised him had come to an end.
I’d avoided the correctional facility for twelve days, hoping to clear my head and get a sense of the direction I was headed in.
I needed to be confident in my decision and uninfluenced by the presence of Josiah.
He’d have my head all fuzzy. My brain fried. My thoughts failing.
Maybe now is the time, I reasoned.
Kason was a few feet away. He’d planned our date to a science and had done exceptionally well. There hadn’t been a detail he hadn’t considered, other than the style and size of the boat we were on. It was smaller than I was accustomed to, but still beautiful.
It is time.
Prolonging the conversation benefited no one but Kason. And, since the start of our relationship, he’d benefited enough. It was obvious in our everyday lives and in the engagement speech at dinner that night.
I opened my eyes, immediately astonished by the dimness around me. Darkness replaced the sun’s glow. But, night had yet to fall.
I lifted my body from the oversized silk scarf beneath me. The culprit came into full view. A yacht, four times the size of the vessel my ass was pressed against was shockingly close. The lack of space between us was discomforting.
“Range!” Kason called out to me.
My brows furrowed. I could feel them attempt to center on my forehead. I lowered my hand and gripped the Glock strapped to my thigh holster. Simultaneously, I stood.
The letters on the side of the yacht were big and bold. They were a cursive font, but quite easy to make out.
B. L. A. C. K.
I pulled my bottom lip into my mouth. Haughtiness was all around me. And, it should’ve been spelled out on the side of the yacht.
W. O. O. D.
“Baby–” Kason’s hand went around my waist as he pulled me toward him. “Step away from the edge.”
I closed my eyes as reality hit me like a sack of bricks. He didn’t have a holster. Or a Glock on his side. He didn’t own an arsenal. He didn’t possess the protective trait. He was ready to shoot. Neither did he have an aim.
I moved closer to the edge, seeking more information. Kason didn’t come along. Instead, he remained grounded.
“Range!”
I turned to face him. The movement from the ship made it hard to hear him. I projected my voice as I watched him cower. He was confused. He was concerned. But, he wasn’t prepared. And, that, for me, was an issue.
“This won’t work, Kason.”
“What?”
“You and I,” I explained, cutting the distance between us.
He was in the safety zone, quite literally. I wanted to be on the edge. To live on the edge. To love on the edge.
I slid the ring from my finger and took him by the hand. I lowered the beautiful diamond onto his palm.
“We were fun, Kason. I never wanted to complicate things with rings and unnecessary titles.
Maybe because I always knew there was someone better for me.
Maybe because I always knew there was something better for me.
I am a soldier, Kason. No matter how soft.
No matter how sweet. No matter how pretty.
“No matter how perfect. No matter how poised. No matter how proper. I am not in the kitchen cooking. I’m on the front line. I always have been. You live in a glass house. It’ll crumble with me inside. Someone is always throwing stones my way.”
“Range, we’re–”
“Not compatible. Not for the long term you’re planning in that handsome head of yours. This was temporary. A fix. Some fun.”
“I’ve fallen in love with you.”
“You’ve fallen in love with what I do for you.
How I make you feel. What my presence offers.
You’re not in love with me, Kason. You don’t know me.
You have no earthly idea who I am or what I’m capable of.
You’ve fallen for the idea of me. And, the ideal of me is nothing like the real me. You can’t handle her.”
“Let me try.”
“You can’t handle the version of me I gifted you. It would be foolish of me to think you could handle the other.”
He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. I leaned forward, placing my lips on his cheek.
“Goodbye, Kason.”
As I turned around, an unfamiliar face greeted me. I gripped my gun, prepared to squeeze at any moment.
“Range–”
Though unfamiliar, the aura of the chocolate coated gentleman was one I recognized. He was shirtless with linen shorts blowing in the wind.
“Yes?”
“I am Fahad Jones. Mr. Blackwood demands you leave this–” he paused, peering over my shoulder at Kason, “Monstrosity and come aboard his private yacht.”
“You know this man, Range?”
I shook my head, never lending my eyes to Kason.
“No. But, I’m familiar with his kind.”
I stepped forward, taking the hand of the stranger. The urge to disobey Josiah’s orders didn’t cross my mind.
“You can put your gun away, Mrs. Blackwood. You won’t need it around me.”
My heartbeat skipped. I looked into Fahad’s brown eyes with curiosity rimming mine. I didn’t have the gall to correct him.
Mrs. Blackwood.
It lingered on my tongue though the words hadn’t come from my mouth. It lingered in my spirit. It stirred my soul.
A tender made it possible for transporting. I boarded the beautiful yacht with Fahad’s assistance. It was cream in color with navy accents. Gold accented the darkest parts, where navy was plentiful.
I entered the main cabin alone. Fahad’s disappearance wasn’t a surprise. Someone had to man the wheel.
In the fully furnished living room were large windows, an oversized couch, two love seats, and a round coffee table that was bolted to the floor.
My eyes wandered out into the open sea. The boat Kason had rented grew smaller as the seconds passed.
Distance was getting in between us, just as differences had gotten between us over the last few weeks.
I gathered my bearings and leaned my nose toward the large glass vase on the table. It was overflowing with flowers. Baby’s breath was my favorite on most days. Today was one of them.
Underneath the vase was a note. This time, it wasn’t on legal paper. Neither was it Josiah’s handwriting. I’d studied the last letter long enough to know how he dotted his i’s and crossed his t’s.
Sunshine,
What’s mine is yours now. Don’t deprive yourself of what you rightfully deserve for the sake of comfort and familiarity. Keep my days sunny and I’ll keep your plate full.
Siah
I pressed the note against my chest as I looked up toward the ceiling. The rush that came along with Mr. Blackwood was exactly what my body craved.
Stimulation.
I needed it. I had to have it.
My fingers tapped the screen of my phone, pulling up the message I shared with my sisters. FaceTime was initiated immediately. The gorgeous faces of women began to appear one after the other.
“Hi, baby.”
“Hey.”
“Hi everyone.”
“Pack your best swims, ladies. We’ve been given a yacht to explore the waters.”
“From who?”
“Compliments of Josiah Blackwood.”
“Sounds like he has a big wood,” Roulette purred.
“Indeed,” I agreed.
“It looks like you’re already on the waters–” Rome began.
“I am, baby, but I’m going to have this thing turned around to come back and get you all. I’ll head for the shore in an hour.”
“We’ll be waiting when you get there.”
Striped pajamas covered every body in the room. Hair was pinned back by silk scarfs. Hair was pinned up by hair clips. Under eye patches were underneath every lid. Korean masks were on every face, melting into our skin.
“And then he goes, “I’m beginning to understand. You don’t want children because you don’t care to give up your spot in your world as the main character.
You don’t want a fucking baby, because you are the baby.
” And I’m just sitting there thinking, men are hardly equipped with two brain cells, if any at all.
“Because there isn’t a thing baby about me. My pussy grown and big. My money grown and big. My mouth grown and big. My accounts grown and big. My lifestyle is grown and big. Baby, I don’t give a fuck about sucking a bottle. I want to suck some dick. Preferably one that’s grown and big, too!”
Tears poured from my eyes as I listened to Roulette speak. There was never a dull moment around her.
“Rou, please.” I begged.
“I’m saying!”
“He’s kind of right, though,” Rather chuckled.
“Right my ass. I have Malaya. She’s the main character in everybody’s story. Yours,” she said, looking over at Malaya’s birth mother, “Mine, Israel’s. Rome’s. Rather half of the time. And, she even gets to pull your arm sometimes, Range.”
“That’s my girl,” I chuckled, “She is a good girl. She can yank our arms if she wants to.”
“She’s no bother at all,” Rome admitted. “She’s like– a little sister. I’ve never had one of those.”