Chapter 19 #2
When the plane boarded four weeks ago, and my sisters piled on, I decided against joining them.
There was nothing for me in the States. Not right now.
My caseload had been cleared before coming.
My clients’ cases wouldn’t resume until fall.
By then, I’d be well-rested, yet still preparing to rest when my children arrived.
I stood in the oversized mirror, brushing my hair upward in an attempt to create a ponytail. My efforts felt pointless. It didn’t matter how many times I got the wrapper around my tresses; I wasn’t satisfied with the outcome.
“Forget it,” I sighed, dropping the brush onto the floor.
Still, I didn’t abandon the mirror. The reflection of my tanned skin was astonishing. It held my interest. So did my growing belly. The weeks felt like days in St. Catana. Slow days. Quiet days. Calm days.
“Hey–” Rugger’s voice was low, barely noticeable.
But I knew it. I knew it by heart. I’d never forget it either. Though her words were few and far apart, her love was plentiful. It was evident. It was heartening.
“Hey.”
“I’ve put your laundry away. Lunch is in the fridge. I’ll be back for dinner to walk you down. Is there anything else you need?”
“For you to go home to your family.”
I turned to find her standing in the doorway, eyes pinned against me.
“Clinging to me feels weird, yeah?”
Chuckling, Rugger shook her head.
“You’re hardly around anymore,” she sighed with a shrug. “Neither of you.”
“You’re saying you miss us?”
“I’m saying I– I’m saying that I’ve never spent more than a few weeks without my family. Together. Everyone. Even Richie.”
I shook my head, exhaling, “Sometimes, I wish we could go back to the way we were, too.”
“The last few years have taken some adjusting.”
“And, how are you doing?”
She shrugged again, immediately closing those walls she was just beginning to open.
“Rugger–” I probed.
“Dinner. Tonight.”
She’d gone as quietly as she’d come. A smile kept me in good spirits.
Without telling me she missed me, Rugger was making it evident.
Though she spent a lot of time in the States, she hadn’t officially relocated.
A lot of her time was spent in St. Catana.
She and Psalms were still in the field. Heavily so.
Her children were safer here, and that was a sacrifice she didn’t mind making.
I retrieved the brush from the floor and made my way toward the vanity on the other side of the room.
My freshly manicured toes were comfy in the handmade slippers I’d purchased from a local shop.
I opened the first drawer and paused briefly.
A portion of my fragrance collection greeted me.
The newest member sat atop, making itself apparent from the others.
I dipped my hand inside, pulling it out and untwisting the cap. As the notes drifted through my nostrils, I was reminded of the time I’d spent with Josiah.
In the kitchen.
In the bed.
In the shower.
In the closet.
He felt so real behind my eyelids that I could almost touch him.
“Mmmmm.”
I sealed the vial and placed it back in the drawer, on top of the others that hadn’t traveled the same distance.
They had been collecting since St. Catana had become our home.
When I arrived, I realized just how much energy and thought Teddy had put into each of our dwellings.
The cologne had already been multiplying.
He knew we wouldn’t return to the US. Not for a long time.
Down the stairs and into the kitchen, I pranced. Peace surrounded me. Joy uplifted my spirits.
While Rhea had been my saving grace over my four-week stay, having Teddy and Rugger around was the highlight of my days. Both were just a walk away. And, with them came four beautiful children who reminded me daily that I was to become a mother soon.
I pulled open the double-sided fridge and retrieved the pitcher I’d filled the day before with fresh coconut water, lemons, and peaches. My taste buds tingled. It smelled divine, yet the scent of Josiah’s cologne stuck to me like glue.
I closed the fridge, pitcher in hand. A brooding presence startled me. I became motionless. Paralyzed. Immobile. Nothing moved. Not even my heart.
Confusion plagued me, threatening to end me forever. Nothing made sense. Or maybe it all did. Everything.
Broad shoulders leaned against the fridge. Brown eyes penetrated my skin. Tears pricked my eyes.
You are my Sunshine.
My only Sunshine.
You make me happy when skies are gray.
You’ll never know dear.
How much I love you.
The whistling lulled me like the sound of waves crashing along the shore. I didn’t close my eyes. Curiosity wouldn’t allow me to.
No chains.
No doors.
No guards.
No bars.
No courtroom.
“Dismissed?” My voice cracked.
Nodding slowly, Josiah Blackwood stood before me in all his glory.
“You aren’t due in court for another week!” I rushed out, breathlessly.
Josiah stepped forward, removing the pitcher from my hand.
“A double-booked docket. A system error. When my lawyer was contacted, he insisted they give him the earliest available date.”
“That rarely happens.”
I couldn’t catch my breath. My head was spinning. Heat consumed me.
“It never happens.”
He engulfed me. I melted against his frame. This time, I didn’t shield my tears or wish them away. They drenched my cheeks, passed my chin, and slid down my neck.
“Shhhhhhhh.”
The pinned frustrations were liberated. I released them all.
I released everything.
I released anything attempting to prove my feelings for Josiah was fabricated.
“Quiet now, my love,” he whispered, coaxing my nervous system.
I drew large, round circles on his back. His energy surrounded me, bathing me in his tenderness. I became fragile glass in his arms. Easily broken, but so beautiful and firm.
“The prosecution still has no evidence, no body, no witnesses, and no motive.
My charges were dismissed, and I was free to go immediately.
That was about twenty-six hours ago. I made it home just in time to pick up Aubrey.
I watched her entire forty-five-minute practice while thinking of you nonstop.
“Once Aubrey was safe in her mother’s arms, I did a hundred miles per hour getting to the fully fueled plane I’d been given access to. For the first time since my incarceration, I slept like a fucking baby knowing I was on my way to you.”
I peered up at Josiah. This moment felt so surreal. I’d imagined it a thousand times. But nothing could’ve prepared my heart for the pain his presence caused. It hurt so good.
“You’re home,” I choked out.
“I’m home,” he confirmed.
He wrapped his fingers around my neck, pulling my face closer. His tongue invaded my mouth ever so gently yet forcefully. My nipples hardened against my blouse. They ached for attention.
“Mmmm.”
In one swift movement, Josiah lifted me into his arms. Our lips were still connected. My center still throbbed.
He made his way through my home as if he were familiar with the blueprint. We reached my bedroom in record time. Josiah undressed me with determination. He did the same for himself. I observed as he unclothed, enticing me with his chocolate skin and chiseled frame.
Josiah was no longer a dream.
He was a dream come true.
In an instant, his hands were on me again. There was a burning desire to have him inside of me that wouldn’t allow me to sit still. His kisses began at my forehead.
Muah.
Muah.
Muah.
Muah.
Each breast.
Muah.
Muah.
I squirmed beneath him as he reached my stomach. He lingered. I was expanding by the day.
Muah.
Muah.
Josiah kissed my belly.
Muah.
Muah.
Some more.
Muah.
Muah.
Muah.
And, some more.
My heart ached in the best possible way. But I didn’t shrink. Neither did I shudder. Instead, I mustered the strength to push Josiah onto the bed. He slid upward, placing his back against the pillows.
His gaze was agonizingly beautiful. I lowered my mouth onto him, never losing sight of those remorseful orbs.
Up.
Down.
I felt him tense underneath me.
Up.
Down.
Saliva coated his dick. My mission had been accomplished. I was starved for penetration. An abrupt entry could prove to be painful.
I lifted my body and positioned myself above his veiny tool that I hadn’t had the pleasure of viewing. My line of vision was entangled with his. I couldn’t break eye contact. I wouldn’t break eye contact.
The head of his dick met my slippery center. Slowly, I lowered my body onto it. He parted me like the Red Sea. I reciprocated his energy, drenching him on contact.
My neck slacked automatically. My head fell backward, and all bets were off. The eyes I’d secretly promised him had closed momentarily.
“Uhhhhhhhh.”
Wetness covered my left nipple. Soft fingers squeezed my left nipple.
“Mmmmmmm.”
I regained my composure. My hands rested on his shoulders as I stabilized my frame. I placed both feet flat on the bed. Josiah’s head fell onto the cushioned headboard.
“Fuck,” he groaned.
I had yet to begin my ride.
“Fuck.”
He gripped my face, bringing me closer to him. I lifted my body and then lowered it, sliding up and down his pole. I could feel my tilted drip pan lubricating Josiah’s dick with each stroke of my pussy. We were ridiculously wet.
Up.
Down.
“Sunshine,” Josiah moaned against my lips.
“Mm hm?”
Up.
Down.
The sound of our love was unbearable. The feeling of his head brushing against my love button was unbearable. His presence was unbearable. His scent was unbearable.
“I’m sorry,” he expressed. “I’m sorry I haven’t been here.”
He inserted his tongue into my mouth, only to retrieve it moments later.
“I love you.”
“I love you,” I promised. “Uhhhhh.”
Up.
Down.
“You’re fucking leaking.”
“Mm hm.”
Up.
Down.
My climax was on the rise. The sound of Josiah’s voice was influencing every part of my body.
“Uhhhhh.”
“You gone make a nigga nut all up in this shit.”
He sent me over the edge. My hands were no longer on his shoulders. I wrapped my arms around him, hugging him closely.
Up.
Down.
“Fuck, baby.”
Josiah gripped my neck and brought his lips to mine. Beneath me, he began thrusting, drilling into my well.
“Siaaaaaaaaah.”
I gushed for him. I came for him. I called for him. No longer was he unable to hear me. He was too close. Too real. Too much.
I rubbed the blurriness from my eyes. Darkness coated the space around me. Night had fallen. And the sounds of nature in my background confirmed my suspicions.
I was not alone.
And I was not dreaming.
Not earlier.
Not now.
With a tender canal, I slid out of bed. My bladder was begging for relief. It came swiftly, as I sat on the toilet. My body was free of clothing. My mind was free of worries. All bad things had been laid to rest.
I emerged from the bathroom after carefully cleaning myself. Through my bedroom, I sauntered in the direction my heart was leading me. A cream dress awaited me, just before the glass doors of the balcony. I slipped it on, feeling like an island princess of some kind.
It was loose. Flowy. Breathable. And strappy.
I brushed my hand through my wild tresses. On the tips of my toes, I made my way out onto the balcony. Tea candles lit the dark path.
Around the balcony.
Down the stairs.
Into the warm sand.
And there he stood, hunched over the dinnerware with an index finger slipping from his mouth. He nodded, approving the taste of the dish in front of him.
“Can I have some, perhaps?”
His smile illuminated the night. Those precious brows. Those perfect teeth. Those perfect lips.
He was dressed in shorts and a button-down. It was a far cry from the government-issued uniform. His hair was trimmed and lined with precision. He was glowing.
“You look stunning,” I called out to him, standing feet away.
His cheeks fattened. A hand went over his mouth as he turned his head slightly, causing me to miss that beautiful smile.
“And, so, he blushes.”
He straightened his posture and placed both hands in front of him. He linked them in the center of his body and shrugged his softened shoulders. He was not alarmed. He was not on high alert. He was in love. I could see it in his eyes. His posture. His smile.
“It’s pretty damn hard not to when you have the woman of your dreams standing in front of you… free and comforted by your presence when thirty-something hours ago, you were between walls that wouldn’t bend enough to accommodate the love you had growing for her.”
It was my turn to smile. But I didn’t turn away.
I allowed the peak of my vulnerability to display on my face.
I didn’t run. I didn’t hide. I didn’t cower.
Not because I didn’t want to, but because I’d second-guessed our connection since it had begun.
But my heart wasn’t a liar. Neither was my logic.
And neither was my intuition. I’d found my husband. I knew it the first day I saw him.