13. Vaughn
13
VAUGHN
A fter a late dinner in the lodge’s kitchen, Brandon drove Hope and me up the rough mountain track to my cabin. The tires crunched over gravel, and the headlights bounced off trees as we negotiated turns along the dark, twisty road.
Brandon lowered the volume on the radio. “Sage stocked your refrigerator and pantry with a few essentials.”
She always did that after I got back from a mission. Sage and Brandon were too good to me. Despite my personality problems, they treated me like one of their own. Best of all, they didn’t handle me with kid gloves and weren’t afraid to call me out on my bullshit. I intimidated most people, which meant I was used to getting my way, but Brandon, Sage, and now Hope provided the reality check I needed.
“Appreciate it.” I nodded. “And Esme?”
I felt a little bad that I hadn’t stopped by the barn to check on my chicken yet, but she’d forgive me.
“Content bossing around all the other hens in the coop. Don’t blame me if she’s gotten fatter since you last saw her. Sage has been spoiling her. ”
I smiled and glanced at Hope. She remained silent as she stared out the window into near blackness.
What would she think when I showed her around the house I’d built with my bare hands? The cabin wasn’t much—one bedroom, a modest kitchen, and a sparsely decorated living space. There was also a garage housing my pickup, weapons, and tools. The only luxury item I’d installed was a big-ass tub in the en suite bathroom. Given the aches and pains that only worsened each year from a career of being shot at, blown up, and surviving a couple of helo crashes, a place to soak was a necessity.
I thanked Brandon for the ride and ushered Hope inside. A wall sconce illuminated the entry, and someone—probably Sage—had lit the open fireplace, making the cabin warm and welcoming.
I tossed the keys on the entry table and dumped my bag on the floor. “This is it.” I scratched the back of my head. “Not as grand as the lodge, but at least it’s private.”
“You said you built this place?” Hope spun in a slow circle to take in all four walls, the pitched ceiling, and the loft bedroom at the top of a narrow stairway.
“With help from Shep, one of my Zulu brothers you’ll meet tomorrow. He made most of the wooden furniture in here, too.” I gestured to a few pieces. The coffee table in front of the leather couch and the stools beneath the breakfast bar.
Hope went to the bookshelf on the side wall and ran her finger along the carved detailing around its edge. “This one, also?”
I nodded.
“He’s talented.”
Not only with woodworking, but now probably wasn’t the time to tell Hope that after getting out of Zulu, Shep had become a hit man for the mafia. Meeting Cam and, more recently, becoming a dad had changed his career focus, but our team still called upon his skills when we had a big op. And they didn’t come much bigger than toppling the Pacific Coast Cartel.
“Come on. Let’s wash up before bed.” I took Hope by the hand and led her upstairs to the bedroom. Sage had helped me decorate it, but I hadn’t let her go overboard. Big bed with a blue-and-gray plaid duvet, a floor rug, wooden furniture, and a deer-antler pendant light—a smaller version of the ones in the lodge—hanging from the exposed pitched ceiling.
“Shower or tub?” I asked.
Hope, who’d been taking in every detail of my bedroom, turned toward me. “Tub sounds nice. I’m so exhausted I don’t know if I can stand long enough for a shower.”
In the en suite, I ran a hot bath and added salts. The creak of the boards told me Hope was exploring my room. She wouldn’t find much. The team had been so busy with missions that I didn’t spend a whole lot of time at home. And when I was here, I kept myself busy helping out around the ranch. Idle time was never good for someone with as much baggage as me.
“You keep your place tidy,” Hope said just as I returned to the bedroom. “And you read?” She picked up a book from the otherwise-empty nightstand, flipping it to read the back cover.
It was the biography of an NFL quarterback who’d suffered what should’ve been a career-ending injury and had gone on to be the league’s Comeback Player of the Year. I was inspired by stories of those who’d stared down the barrel of crippling adversity and said Not today . It gave me hope that I could one day do the same. Turned out I didn’t need a book. I just needed this brave woman.
I smirked. “Don’t look so surprised.”
She chuckled. “I’d apologize for going through your stuff, but you went through mine, so…”
“Fair play, and I have nothing to hide from you.” I gestured around the room. “Snoop to your heart’s content.”
“All right, then.” She opened my closet and rolled her eyes when she found nothing but black clothing. “You need to diversify.”
I raised a brow. “And ruin my vibe?”
With a small smile, Hope shook her head and went to my nightstand to poke through the top drawer. Her expression turned frustrated as she pushed the contents around. “It’s full of weapons. And a”—she flipped over the small booklet—“Glock owner’s manual.”
“Not a sex toy to be found. Sorry.”
She dealt me a nasty glare.
“Search farther back.”
Hope pushed aside a multi-tool and a switchblade to pull out the only things she’d find interesting. Photographs.
She stared at one intently. “Is this your family?”
I glanced over her shoulder. “Yeah.”
It’d been taken on Christmas Eve when I was around twelve and Owen ten. We sat on a beige sofa on either side of Mom, both of us boys already almost as big as her. She wore a red-and-white snowflake sweater and smiled warmly as she embraced us. Her dark eyes—the same color as mine—shone with joy.
At the other end of the sofa sat Dad. Buzz cut, stiff green shirt, and lips tilted up, which was as much emotion as anyone could get out of the cold bastard.
The air force general was a big man. Six foot six, solid as a heavyweight boxer, and every bit the stereotypical military parent who demanded we adhere to his structure and routine. Despite my early aviation achievements, I spent my childhood trying not to be a constant disappointment to him, but gave up in my teens when I figured nothing I did would ever meet his standards.
Hope smoothed her finger and thumb over the dog-eared corner. “Your mom’s beautiful.”
I scratched the back of my head. “She is. ”
“Your dad looks…”
“Like he has a stick up his ass?” I snorted. “It’s all right. You can say it. He’s kind of a big deal back home, so no one will tell him that to his face apart from Owen and me, but everyone thinks it.”
Fortunately, where Dad was frosty, Mom was the sweetest woman you’d ever meet. I had no fucking clue what she was doing with my old man, but they were still happily married to this day.
“That must be Owen.” Hope pointed to my brother. “God, apart from you being a little bigger, you two could be twins.”
We had looked alike back in those days. Not so much anymore.
Hope flipped to the next photo and made a choked sound. “Holy hotness. I think my ovaries just went into meltdown.”
It was a rare group photo of the Zulu guys that Sage had found on Brandon’s computer and printed for us. We’d been waiting for the go-ahead on an op in Panama and had decided to blow off steam by playing a friendly game of football. As usual, it’d devolved into an all-out battle, because that was what happened whenever a bunch of testosterone-fueled overachievers entered anything even remotely competitive. We were shirtless, sweaty, and covered in grass and mud stains. I recalled being utterly exhausted at the time the photo was taken, but all of us wore the same satisfied grin despite our many bruises.
“Give me that.” I tried to swipe the photo from Hope’s hands, but she yanked it out of reach.
“No way. I haven’t seen so many seminaked hotties since watching Magic Mike . Let me salivate a little longer.” Her mouth gaped. “Oh my God. Is that Brandon holding the ball?”
“Uh-huh.” I groaned and waited for her to comment on his good looks. Brandon always drew women’s attention.
Instead, she asked, “Wait, where are you?”
It took Hope a moment longer to find me, and there was good reason for that. I hardly resembled the guy in the photo. She stared at the image in silence, her excitement extinguished as her eyes remained on the man I used to be.
“You look so different,” she said quietly.
I cleared my throat. “That was…before.”
No scars. No tattoos. No perpetual chip on my shoulder. Kane had his arm flung around my neck, something he’d never attempt now. I was smiling so hard it looked like my face must hurt. In those days, my biggest problems were running out of my favorite snacks while out of country and making sure my brothers came out of every mission alive.
A week ago, I might’ve told Hope that version of me was lost forever. But spending time with her, being understood by her, made me wonder if a little of that carefree man still existed somewhere deep inside.
Her eyes came to mine. “I wouldn’t trade you for him, if that’s what you’re wondering. It just hurts to know why you changed so much.”
I took the photos from her and tossed them back into the nightstand drawer. Then I cupped her face in my hands and traced my thumb over the scars on her cheek. “Everything that’s happened in my life has led me to you. I don’t regret any of it.”
Hope gave me a sad smile and put her arms around my neck. “Is it weird having a woman in your bedroom going through your stuff? I mean, I’m assuming this isn’t a regular thing, but correct me if I’m wrong.”
“You’re not wrong, but let me make this perfectly clear.”
She gasped when I curled my arm around her waist and hauled her against me.
“There’s nothing weird about having you here. I want you in my home, I want you in my bed, and I want you in my life. If I get my way, once all this bullshit with the PCC is over, I’m going to keep you here so I can send you to sleep satisfied every night after you’ve come on my cock, then wake you up in the morning with my face between your thighs.”
Her amused eyes darted between mine, and she licked her full lips. Goddamn, I wanted to devour her. “Will we be doing anything other than having sex?”
“Nope.” I popped the P. “And I have it all planned out. I’ll fuck you, feed you, then fuck you some more. Might let you get a little rest in so you’re strong enough to go again. I’ll put a sign out front warning potential visitors to turn around and drive back down the mountain, because Gatita, we won’t be having guests over. It’ll be us, this cabin, and me making damn certain you’ve been railed against every surface in here.”
Hope’s throat shifted as she swallowed deeply. “You’re giving me some extreme kitty flutters here. Has anyone ever told you that you’re intense?”
“No, because I’ve never been like this with anyone before. Come on. The bath will be ready.” I kissed her forehead, took her by the hand, and led her to the en suite.
After checking the water temperature, I turned off the tap.
We stripped out of our clothes, then I stepped into the tub and gestured for Hope to climb in with me. I positioned myself at one end and drew her back to my chest.
Hope sighed as she leaned her head against my shoulder, and slowly, my muscles uncoiled. We sat like that for a while, just the two of us soaking in near silence. The only sounds were the occasional drip of water from the faucet and the crackle from the fireplace downstairs.
This woman. Her presence brought me peace because having her near meant she was safe. And right now, that felt like the only thing in the world I needed.
Hope ran her fingertips across the hand I rested upon the edge of the tub. “How are you feeling?”
I wrapped my free arm around her waist and tugged her closer, enjoying the sensation of her soft skin against mine. “ Relaxed. Like I’m in complete control of my reactions. Except for my cock, but there’s nothing I can do about that.”
To prove my point, I ground my hardness into her lower back. I tried not to think about how easy it would be to slide myself inside her with a little crafty maneuvering.
Hope laughed lazily. “I like that I do that to you. Does that make me cruel?”
“Only if I’m not allowed to touch you.”
Her hands reached behind and clasped the nape of my neck. “You can touch me.”
Not needing another invitation, I cupped one full breast, and Hope arched into it. She whimpered when I squeezed gently and made circles around her nipple with my thumb.
I licked the shell of her ear. “Woman, keep making sounds like that and I’ll have you impaled on my cock in a heartbeat.”
“Do it,” she said breathily, and it made my dick throb.
“How many times must I remind you that when we’re naked, I issue the orders?” I gave her nipple a firm pinch before reaching for her hands at the back of my neck and relocating them to the side of the bath. “But there are some things we need to discuss before I lose myself in you.”
She made a cute disgruntled sound.
After snatching a cloth from the shelf behind me, I dipped it in the water and gently washed Hope’s shoulders. “We haven’t spoken privately about this plan of yours yet.”
“What’s left to say?”
“That we’ll find some other way to catch your father, and you don’t need to do this. I mean, come on, Hope. You want to go back to him as much as I want to return to that tunnel in Venezuela.”
The muscles in her shoulders tensed. “Just because something’s hard doesn’t mean we shouldn’t do it.”
“Goddammit, Hope.” I took out my anger on the washcloth by crushing it in my fist, then pitching it against the tiled wall. Water sloshed over the sides of the tub with my sudden movement.
“Hey.” She spun fast to face me with narrowed eyes. “I’m no damsel. Don’t forget whose blood runs through my veins. My dad’s a piece of shit, but at least he passed on his tenacity and grit. I’m tougher than you think.”
“I’m not questioning your courage.” My jaw tightened as I held her stare and a dread-filled heaviness settled on my chest. “It’s that I don’t know how to let you go.”
This was killing me. The thought of sending Hope straight into the clutches of Carlos fucking Espinoza made it hard to breathe.
Her expression softened. “You’ll do it because we have no other choice. You’ll do it because that’s what I need you to do.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose before dropping my hand. “I wish we had more time.”
“So do I.” She rested her hand on my cheek and stared into my eyes. “Carlos won’t hurt me. I don’t want to see him or step into his messed-up world again, but he won’t allow any harm to come to me. Just remember that.”
I nodded because what else could I do? Nothing I said would talk her out of this plan.
“We fly out of here tomorrow night?” Hope asked.
“Yeah. Just so you know, I’m not letting you out of this room until Brandon nags me to get organized for the op.”
A knowing smile formed on her lips. “I can live with that.”
“Turn around. Hands on either side of the tub again,” I ordered.
“Yes, sir,” she said in that insolent way of hers, but still did as I asked.
If my little brat wanted to play, we could play.
Hope sucked in a sharp breath when I wrapped my hand around her throat and caressed my thumb along the smooth column of her neck. “Don’t test me, Gatita. I’ve a mind to cuff you to the bed, turn you into my fuck toy, and keep you so distracted that you stop trying to throw yourself in harm’s way.”
Her pulse escalated, and her throat shifted under my hand as she swallowed.
“Spread your legs for me.”
Without protest, she dropped her knees wide, and I watched over her shoulder as those pretty pink lips came into view underwater.
“Fucking beautiful.” And she was all mine.
My free hand traveled between her thighs and began exploring.
“You don’t fight fair.” Her tone was low and needy.
“When it comes to you, I’ll play as dirty as I need to.” I pushed one finger inside, and Hope’s hips bucked in immediate response. “But you like me dirty, don’t you? You like my filthy words. You like it when I fuck you with my fingers, and you love it when I stretch this perfect pussy on my cock.” I added a second finger, and Hope cried out as I thrust them both in.
“Yes,” she hissed, her face tilting skyward.
The chuckle that left me was full of mischief because I had her right where I wanted. “Half a minute and you’re already about to come. Such a good fucking girl for me, doing as you’re told.” I curled my fingers, reaching that spot that made her struggle to form coherent words. She pulsed around me, and I brought my lips to her ear. “I can feel it, you know? When your muscles clamp down like they’re trying to squeeze the life out of me. I fucking love that. Knowing I drive you wild, too. Knowing that no one else has ever touched you here. Never made you come before me.”
Water splashed onto the floor as she squirmed on my hand.
“Look at your pussy, Hope. Watch what I’m doing to you.” We both glanced down at where my fingers had disappeared deep inside her. I moved them in and out, feeling her walls tighten around me while my thumb worked her clit. “ Goddammit, woman. You make me so hard I want to put you on your hands and knees, tilt that gorgeous ass up, and fuck you until I quench this all-consuming urge. But it won’t be enough, will it? I’ll never stop wanting to fill you, to satisfy you, to own you as thoroughly as you own me.”
“Vaughn, please.” Hope’s grip on the sides of the tub slipped as her fingernails tried to dig into porcelain.
One firm press on her clit had her body quaking and her mouth parted with rapture. “That’s it,” I growled at her ear. “Lose yourself. Let me feel you.”
I didn’t want to think about what tomorrow might bring, and I didn’t want Hope dwelling on it, either. I wanted her to focus on this moment and how good we were together so that when she found herself on cartel soil, she wouldn’t forget about me—about us —and the life we’d share once we got her out of the compound safely.