14. Raven
Chapter fourteen
Raven
*On Page Self Harm*
Pulling up to Orpheus and walking in, I greet Eddie and head straight to Naomi's office. Bitch better have come in today. No days off for the wicked. Walking in, Marco is sitting in her office with her. Looking at him, then looking at her I ask,
“Am I interrupting? I can come back if so.” Raising my brow at her, she just chuckles.
“No bitch, sit the fuck down. You know whatever I need to say to him you can hear too.” She says. Sitting down next to Marco, he just grins, smiling back. This motherfucker always got jokes.
“First off, I am hungry as fuck,” she laughs, “also, Marco was just here because there isn’t shit to do. I know you have your training sesh with Eddie, then he said he wants to talk to us about another trafficker that's trying to start up here.” She states.
“Ugh, why can't they just quit? You’d think with all the ones that have ended up dead, they would give it up already. For. Fucks. Sake.” I proclaim and throw my head back over the chair.
“Raven, I know this is a touchy thing for you, but I’m always down to help you take these sick fucks down. Eddie may have me running around all the time, but I will help if you need it.” Marco chimes in. He's not wrong, it's getting exhausting at this point. They just keep coming back like cockroaches.
“Bitch, you know I’m not as badass as you, but Eddie has been working with me for a while on my gun game. I got you, day or night babe! You know this.” Looking at her, my brows shoot up, I'm honestly shocked. I didn't know her and Eddie had been practicing at the range. I only knew he was teaching her enough to keep herself safe. I mean, she's no goodie-two-shoes, but she doesn't like to get down and dirty like I do.
“Fine, I’ll think about it. It depends on how big the job is, but ya girl is getting tired. I’m probably only saying this because I’m hungover as fuck right now.” I laugh, causing them to laugh with me.
“Also, there's something we need to discuss. But I better get my ass out there before Eddie makes me do extra work.” Standing up, I walk towards the door.
“Yes, because I don't want you puking everywhere. If Marco is still here, is it something he can hear?” Shrugging, I walk out of her office.
Making it to the mats, Eddie calls out to me from the boxing ring.
“Nope, no mats today kiddo. We are in the ring. Here, wrap your hands.” He tells me as he tosses me some wraps.
Wrapping my hands, I slip through the ropes, Eddie already has his hands wrapped and is waiting. Guess we're going all in today.
“Don’t hold back, you got it? I sure as hell won't be.” He chuckles, then comes at me with a jab. Ready for it, I block it, but not before his other fist connects with my ribs. Fuck me. With an oomph, I stumble to the side. Getting my balance again, I throw all my weight into a jab and cross, dodging his next move.
Keeping at it until I am literally pouring sweat, Eddie calls a time out. I plop down in the ring and start stretching my arms and legs out. This was not the greatest idea with a hangover. Handing me a water, he sits beside me and starts to chuckle.
“Hungover or not, your attacker won’t care. However, I don't want you to puke, so how about we take five?” Taking a few sips of water I lay back, staring up at the ceiling.
“Fine old man, but only because I was seconds away from showing you what I had for breakfast.” We both laugh at that. Looking up at him, I give him a questioning look.
“So why didn’t you ever tell us about Reyes and the guys? Figured Zeke already told you he saw all of us last night.” I chuckle, then add, “I mean, those are his nephews, and everyone knows us, so why don’t we know them?” He lets out a long sigh.
“Honestly, they didn’t want to be known. They wanted to keep everyone close to them under wraps. You know how dangerous it can be for someone you care about in this line of work. We didn’t see the big deal.” Rolling my eyes, I just lay there and stare at the ceiling. I mean, I get it, no one wants to put their loved ones in danger. Everyone here though, knows everybody. I just suck at remembering names, but I can damn sure remember a face though.
My phone pings. Getting up and grabbing it, I see it's a text from a blocked number. Jesus fuck, always an unknown number these days.
Unknown: Damn Sweetness. I am getting tired of hiding in the shadows. I can’t wait to make you mine.
Glancing around, I look to see who could be texting me. When I don’t see anyone, I send a text back.
Me: Who the fuck is this?
Looking through my lashes, I don’t see anyone acting suspicious. My phone pings again, making me jump slightly.
Unknown: Don’t worry Sweetness, I’ll be seeing you real soon.
Putting my phone down, I walk over to Eddie and hope he can’t tell this motherfucker got under my skin. He called me ‘Sweetness’. That name makes me sick to my fucking stomach. Immediately, my brain thinks Brock, he was the only one to ever call me that. There's no goddamn way though. I made sure that mother fucker was dead. Hell, even Eddie made sure he was dead, he wouldn’t have let him live.
“Raven!” Eddie almost yells, causing me to flinch.
“Yeah? Sorry, let's finish this.” I snap back. It definitely came out harsher than I wanted to. Whoops.
“You good kid? I only said your name about five times, where did you go? Why the hell did you flinch?” He throws question after question at me. Damn, I never even heard him call me and I never flinch from anyone. I need to get my shit together.
“Yeah, I'm good. Just zoned out is all. Sorry.” Climbing back in the ring, I motion for Eddie to start. Not focusing, he gets a few hits in. I’m in my own head about this shit. Did I miss something? Has someone been following me and I’ve been so caught up in my own shit I haven’t been paying attention? My vision turns red and I start throwing hits, never missing. Next thing I know, Marco is pulling me off of Eddie and Naomi is trying to get me to snap out of it. Shaking my head a few times, I take a few deep breaths, trying to remember what Eddie taught me when my anger gets out of hand.
“I’m okay, I’m okay, is Eddie okay?” I sneer out, moving Naomi out of my face while getting to my feet.
“I’m okay kiddo, you good? You haven’t lost control like that in a long time.” He asks, trying to walk over to me. Backing up, I turn and slip through the ropes, quickly grabbing my stuff and running out the door to where I’m parked. Hearing all of them call after me, I ignore them and hop on my bike. I have to get out of here before I hurt someone. Fuck this. I never lose control. I refuse to let some bullshit text be that reason.
Racing home, I pull through the gates and drive right up to my front door. Walking in, I throw my bag down, set my alarm, and run up the stairs straight to the shower. Standing under the scalding hot water, I hang my head down and just let the water run over me, standing there and feeling the burn against my skin. What the fuck is happening? I snap myself out of it, reaching for my loofah and adding soap. I stand frozen for a minute, scrubbing myself until my skin is red. I wash my hair next, watching the bubbles swirl down the drain. Focus, Raven. Just fucking focus.
Turning off the water, I open the shower door and reach for my towel, drying myself off. Walking to my closet, I grab a hoodie and pull it over my head, then grab my sleep shorts from the dresser and slip them on. Hearing my phone pinging non- stop, I walk downstairs and grab it. Looking at it while I walk back to my room, I notice several texts from the guys, Eddie and Naomi.
Naomi: Babe are you okay? We're worried about you. I know you probably need space right now, just please turn your location on so I can make sure you are safe. Love you bitch ??
Not feeling like replying, I turn on my location for her, and it sends her a text to let her know. Opening the next thread, I notice the guys started a group chat with all of us. Que the fucking eye roll.
Luis: Hey Pretty Girl, just wanted to check in. We haven't heard from you since you left this morning.
Damien: Chill, it's only afternoon. Eddie probably has her running all kinds of drills ??
Reyes: Little Devil, we just wanted to see how you felt is all. See you later today?
I don't reply to any of them. Setting my phone on my nightstand, I turn it on silent and plug it in. Laying in bed, I pull the covers up over my head and close my eyes.
Sleep never comes, just memories of all the sick shit I had to go through. All I can hear is his voice.
“Sweetness, I know you miss me. You miss having no choice and being told what to do. Having to take it because dear old mom never listened to her daughter.”
Images start to flood my mind of all the things he did to me, night after night, no matter how hard I tried to fight him off.
Being chained up. Not being able to move. The knife slicing through my skin, blood dripping to the floor. Drip. Drip. Drip. Him forcing himself inside me, even when I cried out in pain. Giving up and wanting to end it all. All of the fear and pain.
Tossing and turning, I finally roll over and see it's dark outside. Getting up and walking to my desk, I grab one of my daggers and stand by the window.
“No one will ever want a broken girl like you. You will never find anyone who loves you, Sweetness.” His voice is so fucking loud right now.
“I will be the only one to own this cunt. I will be the only one who gets to love you.” His taunts never ending.
“Their feelings aren’t real, they just want my pussy.” I whisper to no one. I can’t. I can’t take it anymore. It’s too much.
Fuck this. Twirling the dagger around my finger, I do something I haven’t done in a long time. Bringing the blade to my wrist, I slowly drag it across my skin. Let all the pain out. Watching the blood flow and drip to the floor, I bring the blade to the other wrist and do the same. Feel. I don’t want to feel.