Chapter 45
INEZ
45
It’s officially my last full day in Starlight Falls.
Tomorrow, I board a train and head off into the unknown. I’m nervous about my audition, nervous about the future, but more than anything, I’m losing my mind over what happens next for Nolan and Stella.
With Lilian back in the picture, I have no idea where things stand. And I can tell that Nolan doesn’t know either.
Neither of us slept well last night. He spent hours tossing and turning. I mostly stared at the dark wall while my thoughts ran wild.
My heart is sore and heavy. I want to fix it. I want to wave a magic wand and make all the confusion go away.
But who am I to kick up dust in Nolan’s life when I’m on my way out of town? Who am I to make any demands or ultimatums when my future plans are so unsure?
I know how Nolan feels about his ex-wife—or at least I know what he told me last night—but that’s a sticky area that I can’t insert myself in the middle of.
As a former foster child, there is nothing I would have wanted more than a home with both of my parents under the same roof. If I deprive Stella of that, she is going to grow up, hating me for not giving her family a chance. I could never live with myself if I were the obstacle that stood in the way of a family being together. Of a mother and child being together.
That’s a decision Nolan has to make for himself, with a clear head, without me standing in the way. I just hope that he makes the right choice for himself and Stella. They deserve to be happy now. Lilian has hurt them enough.
With today being Sunday, Nolan and Stella invited me on their weekly father-daughter excursion. But I turned down their invitation this time. I don’t think I’m strong enough to spend the day with them without breaking down in ugly, snotty tears.
Losing them tomorrow is going to wreck me. But the thought of leaving them to Lilian is absolutely agonizing.
After Nolan and Stella head out for the ceramics workshop they’re doing today, I realize that I need a pick me up. I need to feel better about all the changes on the horizon.
So I head to my happy place. I weave my way through the Starlight Falls farmer’s market until I get to Rainbow’s booth.
As I approach, she swivels around from where she’s unpacking a large box of jars and gasps loudly. “Look who it is! What brings you by today, moonbeam? Don’t you have an audition coming up?”
I laugh. “I really didn’t tell that many people about the audition, but I guess word travels quickly here in Starlight Falls.”
Rainbow chuckles. “Daphne, Karli and the girls are ridiculously excited for you. They’re your big cheerleaders around town.”
There’s a hard throb in my chest. “I do love having their support.” It’s a refreshing change for my life. Something I didn’t even know I needed. Yet another something I’m leaving behind.
For the first time in my life, I have a group of genuine friends. And now I have to walk away from them.
“So when is the audition?” Rainbow asks.
“I leave tomorrow actually,” I tell her, wearing a grin to hide my pain. “Which is why I’m in desperate need of something nutritious. I need to be on my A-game.”
She smiles knowingly. “Oh, this week’s special is just the thing for you, sweetie. As long as you’re open to something a little different in your salad, I’ll make sure you are in tiptop shape for your big moment tomorrow.”
“Well, I’m down to try anything you whip up,” I say with a laugh.
Rainbow gets to work on the salad. A moment later, she pulls up a stool for me and sets a compostable container into my hands. “Grilled peach, rice and arugula salad. I snuck some kale and walnuts and pumpkin seeds in there to give you an extra mental boost for later. Though I know you won’t really need it.” She lowers her voice. “And it should help boost your mood, too.”
“My mood?” I blink.
She smiles kindly. “I know ‘things’, moonbeam. Even things you don’t want to admit out loud.”
Shit—and here I was, thinking I was doing a good job of masking my breaking heart with my wide smiles and my surface-level jokes.
“Like always, I’m here if you need to talk.” Rainbow gives my shoulder a squeeze and turns back to unpacking her display of pickles.
Bamboo fork in hand, I dive right in with a contented moan and for a moment, this yummy salad is enough to distract me from my problems.
As I eat, new messages pop up in my friends’ group chat. The girls are joking about trying to organize some sort of embarrassing send-off for me today, but I shut that shit down fast. In the nicest of ways, of course.
Karli, Daphne, Layla and Nicky have come to mean so much to me. I’m going to miss them a lot.
While I eat, we exchange a few text messages and make plans to meet at Jittery Joe’s in a few hours for coffee. They want to give me presents and say goodbye before I leave. That gets me to crack a smile through my melancholy. Because who can say no to presents?
I’m nearly done enjoying my food when I hear someone speaking nearby. “Hey there, Lilian. It’s been a while,” the gossipy florist says extra loud.
My head snaps up and I see Nolan’s ex wife strolling through the market.
Fan-tastic.
My muscles tense up. I can’t really understand why, but my gut reaction is to shrink down, hide and be invisible. But my nerves begin to buzz with anger as Lilian gets closer. She’s browsing the nearby booths, complimenting the artists on their jewelry, while boasting about all of her own. She’s doing so in the loudest way possible, obviously trying to draw attention to herself.
“Rainbow!” She screeches when she finally makes it to the table where I’m sitting. She throws herself at everyone’s favorite vendor in a bear hug.
The older woman doesn’t hug her back. “It’s a surprise to see you again, Lilian,” Rainbow comments politely. Not a pleasant surprise, if her expression is any indication.
I can’t help but listen in, as I finish stuffing my face with my brain power salad.
“Are you leaving town again soon?” The florist butts into the fold.
“Nope,” Lilian replies, standing a little taller. “I am here to stay.”She makes sure to throw me a glance when she says that.
I’m not sure what she knows about Nolan and me, but it’s clear that she’s trying to mark her territory.
“Oh, really? You’re going to stick around Starlight Falls this time?”someone else asks, sounding skeptical.
“Yep. I’ve had my fun, but now I’m ready to settle down and be a family woman.”
When she says that, I struggle not to choke on my food.
Rainbow speaks in a wary tone, throwing a quick glance my way. “I think that Nolan may have moved on, dear. You’ve been gone for a long time.”
Lilian sweeps a dismissive hand through the air, waving off Rainbow’s concern. “Oh, I’m not worried about that. After all this time, I still have Nolan wrapped around my little finger.” She chuckles. “And Stella. She’s only five so she probably didn’t even realize that I’ve been gone. Precious thing. Pretty as a picture and growing like a weed.”
Nolan’s ex-wife just carries on nonchalantly, talking to the women about her big plans and promises, quite frankly, telling lies.
“Nolan’s clearly struggling without me around. Have you seen his awful new haircut? He needs me. It’s time for me to step into my ‘motherhood era’.” Lilian throws her head back, laughing, like any of this is cute.
The sound of it is like nails on a chalkboard.I physically shudder.
I’m trying to mind my business. I really, really am. I’m trying to remind myself of my commitment not to get in the way of a family reuniting.
But Lilian doesn’t deserve the good thing she’s been given, the good thing she’s taken for granted all this time.
Nolan works so damn hard, and he is so kind, so responsible, so patient. He deserves a darn parent of the year award for all he’s been doing.
On. His. Own.
As this bitch keeps talking trash about Nolan, I lose it. I rise to my feet, turning to face her. “Are you serious? You think you can roll in and out of town whenever you feel like it and bulldoze the lives of the people who actually call this place home? People who actually rely on you?”
“Oh, bartender girl. You think you mean something to him? You think you know him?” She scoffs in my face. “I’m his wife. Get a clue.”
Feeling feral, I walk toward her, barely maintaining my cool. “Ex-wife. You are his ex-wife. And you are a self-absorbed bitch for bragging about coming in and out of your child’s life. Seriously, who does that?” I raise my voice, shaking my head. “Nolan is an amazing father, and you are missing out on seeing your beautiful daughter grow up. Woman, you are the one who has no clue.” I toss my empty salad dish into a nearby recycling bin, ready to leave.
I probably look nuttier than a barrel of walnuts right now, yelling like a maniac in the middle of town. But I don’t care. I won’t stand for her—or anyone, frankly—badmouthing Nolan Brighton. I’m afraid I’m going to start throwing hands if I have to look at this woman any longer.
But then right before I storm off, I pause and yell over my shoulder. “By the way, your daughter isn’t five. She’s six years old.”
Lilian is speechless. Her mouth flops open and closed like a fish as she stands there and stares.
Everyone else who overheard us? Yeah, they seem to be speechless, too.It’s as if the whole town is waiting for me to do a mic drop and exit the stage after my raging monologue.
I growl out loud as I storm off and I don’t look back. In this one singular moment, I’m actually glad that I’m leaving Starlight Falls tomorrow.
This town is becoming too much for me.