17. Chapter 17
Chapter 17
Tyler
T yler had not slept a wink that night. How could I be so stupid? Julien thought he was a fucking monster. All those times he had been smiling at him, cuddling him, that mistletoe kiss, he was really thinking about how Tyler was a meal ticket.
Tyler didn’t know what had happened last night or why, but now he knew everything was ruined.
He’d ruined everything.
He could see that now, but it didn’t help that Julien was the most amazing guy he had ever met.
No. Julien wasn’t the perfect prince Tyler thought he wanted. But he was funny, caring, observant, and Tyler liked how he smelled, the dimples on his cheeks when he smiled, and the little comments he made when no one else was listening. He even liked how much he frowned. It made the smiles even more satisfying .
It wasn’t real, though. No matter how much Julien sold the boyfriend experience, it was all an act. Tyler was fooled just as much as his family was. Only he had no excuse because he knew the truth. He was stupid enough to let himself be fooled because it felt good to be held, cuddled, and hold hands with someone.
With a deep breath, he put his robe on and went downstairs. Part of him expected Julien to be gone. Why should he still be there? He had what he wanted, his payment .
Of course, all his stuff was still in Tyler’s room, so Tyler wasn’t surprised when he spotted Julien with a cup of coffee and ice at the table.
What surprised him was how the room went quiet when he walked in.
Walter looked up from making coffee and quickly turned around. His father cleared his throat from the head of the table. His mother widened her eyes and looked back to her laptop, her lips set and tight. Duke even shifted his head away from him, where he lay on Julien’s feet under the table.
The feeling of being talked about loomed over him.
“What’s going on?” he asked as he took stock of the strange way his family was acting. His eyes landed on Julien, who he realized was just in his pajamas, his tattoos on full display. He grimaced. That cat was out of the bag.
“Morning,” Hailey said tightly. Tyler knew her well enough to know she was mad at him.
“Morning,” he replied warily as he went to sit. “Is everything alright?”
Hailey folded her arms and fixed him with the same piercing look she had given him when he told their mother she’d slept over at her high school boyfriend’s house their junior year. “Julien told us everything.”
“What?” Tyler’s feet felt as if they were glued to the spot.
Hailey nodded. “Yeah. We heard you fighting, and he came down to ask Wally for a ride to the bus station.”
The blood drained from Tyler’s face, and his stomach nearly fell out of his butt. “You heard us?”
“Yeah. Julien told us that you were worried that we wouldn’t like him because he’s just a mechanic, and that you made him buy all these new clothes to impress us.” Hailey shook her head, clearly biting her tongue about something. Tyler knew her well enough to see that. He could only imagine what that something was.
Then her words registered. They hadn’t heard everything? They had just heard them fighting, but Julien somehow kept up the ruse. Even though it would have been easy for him to come clean about being hired.
“I…” He had no idea what to say and looked to his mother, who stared at him, her mouth set. “I just…wanted things to be perfect.”
His mother laughed sarcastically, a quick noise that Tyler wished he had missed.
He would have given anything for the floor to swallow him up right now. He didn’t know what would have been worse at this point, everyone finding out that Julien was a hired boyfriend or thinking he was a dick, just like Julien did.
Hailey shook her head, pushed out of her seat, and walked to the kitchen where Walter still faced away. Tyler watched her approach him, but his gaze returned to Julien.
“Can, uh, can we talk, Julien?” His voice sounded ridiculously small.
Dad nodded to Julien as if to encourage him or comfort him. Has my whole family turned against me?
Julien got up and followed Tyler into the garage, which was the safest place Tyler could think of.
It was chilly, and Tyler wished he wore thicker socks, but at least they’d have a moment alone so he could figure out what was happening.
“What the fuck is going on?” He looked at Julien’s handsome face, feeling a cocktail of emotions he had no idea what to do with.
Julien sighed. “Your sister and Wally heard us fight last night. They heard his name and decided to eavesdrop.”
Tyler grimaced as he recalled how badly he had spoken about Wally last night. “She probably was eavesdropping anyway,” he said, but the deflection didn’t improve anything.
“I came downstairs and asked if he could drive me to the bus stop. They all knew we had a fight, and then your mom commented about my tattoos, so I said we fought over this. Alright? I figured you didn’t want your precious family to know the truth. What’s one more lie added to the web?”
Tyler chewed on his lip and inhaled through his nose. “I’m so sorry, Julien.” His voice broke on the name. “You were right about what you said. I’ve spent my whole life trying to be perfect, and for my family to think I’m perfect. I let it get to me. Okay?”
Julien scowled, but after a moment, his face softened a little. “I’m sorry, too. I shouldn’t have talked to you that way. I was just pissed. And…” He paused, exhaling sharply. “I mean, you don’t know what you have, Tyler. For all you think that your family is the worst, they love you a lot. I would give literally anything to….” Julien’s voice broke off as he shut his mouth and shook his head.
Tyler realized, in that instant, how selfish he had been. He hadn’t asked Julien about his family once. His fingertips itched to reach out and touch Julien, but he didn’t know how it would be received. “Jules…,” he said when Julien turned away .
“My mom died about nine years ago now, and it fucking sucks watching you act like your family is terrible when I have literally never seen a happier family.”
Tyler could hear the thickness in Julien’s voice. He was glad Julien faced the wall because his eyes had grown hot, and he didn’t know if he could handle seeing whatever hurt was on Julien’s face.
“You pick and pick at anything you don’t think is right, when you should just be fucking happy they’re all here with you.”
Tyler bit his cheek, unable to think of the right thing to say. He wasn’t sure he even trusted his voice not to shake. “Stay,” he said finally.
Julien turned around. “Why?”
“Because,” he hesitated, searching for the words. “I like you, and I want you to stay for Christmas. As you. The real you, not my fake boyfriend, as Julien. Please?” Tyler pleaded in a weak voice.
It took Julien a moment to answer, but eventually, he nodded. “Alright. ”
Tyler stepped forward tentatively before wrapping his arms around Julien’s middle. Julien’s big arms hesitantly came around him, accepting the embrace.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have tried to change you. That wasn’t fair. You’re fine as you are.”
Julien ran a hand down his back, reminding Tyler of the previous morning. “Yeah. Thanks.”
He wasn’t sure Julien believed him, but Tyler meant it. It surprised him just how much he meant it.
He stayed that way, holding Julien and being held. Tyler tried not to play back how selfish he had been, but he also knew it was selfish now to try and keep Julien here. Because he liked Julien and couldn’t face the disappointment of not having him here.
“I’ll have to apologize to Walter, won’t I?” Tyler said when he finally pulled back from the hug.
Julien’s eyes darkened. “Yes,” he growled. “And you should give him a chance. Wally’s funny, in a goober sort of way.”
Tyler looked to the door back into the house with dread. “Okay. Time to face the music.”
Julien touched his elbow. “Thanks,” he said again. This time, it sounded more sincere. It didn’t take away from the mountain of a task he would have when he apologized to Walter and Hailey, but at least he felt like Jules didn’t hate him anymore.
Struck with sudden boldness, Tyler stood on his toes and pressed his lips against Julien’s cheek. “Thank you for staying and for…everything.” Tyler hurried back through the door without waiting to see Julien’s response.
The house was eerily quiet when they came back inside. Everyone was still in the kitchen but stopped talking when he entered.
“Hey, umm, Walter?” Tyler approached his future brother-in-law like he was a particularly skittish cat.
Julien went to sit back at the table to finish his breakfast, but he gave Tyler a nod when he looked over.
Walter turned to him with hurt in his eyes. “Yeah?”
“Can I talk to you in the living room for a second?”
Hailey squeezed Walter’s arm and nodded, but the glare she sent Tyler’s way was not comforting .
Walter followed Tyler into the living room, looking like a kicked puppy.
“I’m sorry. For what you heard me say yesterday,” Tyler said. “I’m a dick. I was angry and said something I didn’t mean.”
Walter nodded. “I always felt you were standoffish. I thought it was because you’re protective of Hail. I didn’t realize you didn’t like me.” His lips twisted into a frown, which he tried and failed to mask with a self-deprecating chuckle.
Tyler could concede that he had not been the nicest to Walter in the past. It wasn’t that he didn’t like Walter. He was fine. But at the end of the day, Walter gave Hailey something Tyler never had. It was his fault for letting insecure feelings color his emotions about an otherwise okay guy. Boring, yeah , but okay.
“I guess I was just jealous. Because you and Hailey are so in love, and I don’t have that,” he said. “I never gave you a chance or got to know you. But maybe now we can try to start over?”
Walter shrugged. “Yeah. I hope we can. I love your sister more than anything. I know she loves you. I hope we can be like brothers one day.”
Tyler smiled. “Yeah. You know. I’d like that. Thanks. And I’m sorry again.”
“Just make sure you and Jules are good, too. I see the way he looks at you, Tyler. You two really do have something special. I know it would make Hailey happy to know you’ve got someone that makes you feel that way, too.”
Tyler looked back into the dining room and saw Julien watching him.
He smiled despite the cold lump lodging itself into his chest and throat. “Yeah. I’ll do my best. Thanks, Wally.”