Chapter Twenty Carys #3
‘You’ve all had a chance to think about your upcoming wedding,’ Karina asks, confirming my suspicions. ‘Whit and Malachi, what do you picture when you think of your wedding?’
I try to focus as they gush about this little church near Malachi’s grandma’s home in London. Luckily, it doesn’t sound like what we want. I mean, I don’t think we’re having a church wedding.
The conversation moves on to Dolly and Warren and my thoughts grind to a halt when Warren says, ‘We’re weighing up some options, but one I really liked that I didn’t expect to be my vibe was the beautiful old country house.’
You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. Of course they want the same place we do.
I must have made a face, because Lucas suddenly says, ‘Uh oh, it looks like we might have some competition on our hands. Carys and Patrick, is that your dream venue too?’
I’m glad Patrick answers, because he’s good natured and laughs the situation off. ‘Yes, that’s the kind of place we imagined getting married in. But what will be will be! We’re just lucky to have each other.’
He gives me a happy wink, and I plaster on a smile.
I need to remember who I’m trying to be here – the good girl, the dream wife, the homely one.
That’s who I am. And pouting like a little demon is just going to get people hating me.
So, I do what I always do, and pick the cute option.
‘I’d marry you anywhere,’ I say dreamily, brushing back his floppy fringe.
‘Oh, aren’t they so cute,’ sing-songs Karina, pressing the cards in her hand against her chest. ‘And much nicer than me. I was insistent on a big venue.’
Lucas laughs, wrapping his arm around his wife’s waist. ‘Yes, you were. Do we think we’ll get some Bridezillas in the mix here?’
I hate that term, but everyone laughs so I smile along with them. I can totally sympathise with people who panic when their day isn’t going to plan.
‘May the best couple win,’ Dolly says, practically confirming the truce is over. ‘Which is us.’
Everyone else laughs at her joke even though I know it’s not one; that’s just what she thinks. I want to walk over and beat her about the head with my square of shiny plastic board.
Fine, Dolly. Let’s go.
‘Are we all ready?’
There’s a thundering cry of yes which makes me dizzy.
This is fine. Everything is fine!
‘First question,’ begins Karina, and I feel my heart beating out of my chest in a way it hasn’t since I sat Maths GCSE. ‘Men, what’s your favourite thing about your wife-to-be? Ladies, you write down what you think they like best.’
The squeak of marker pens on the boards gives me toothache.
What does Patrick like about me? I try to replay his proposal in my head. What did he say? The reason we were at the farm… kindness! I scribble it down on the board and realise everyone else is already done.
‘And reveal your answers!’
Luckily, Patrick has written ‘she’s kind’ so that’s a match. A huge smile bursts across my face as we step forward. One down!
It’s no surprise that Whit and Malachi have matching ‘smart’ and ‘dead clever’ answers. As the only other couple who have stepped forward, they are in line with us.
I try not to look too smug about it.
‘Oh babe, you think I’m funny?’ Bridget says. Her board has ‘sexy’ written on it. ‘That’s nice.’
Lina and Zack’s mismatch is awkward. Her answer is ‘interesting’ whereas he has scribbled what looks like ‘bum’.
I try not to crane my neck round, but Karina announces, ‘It looks like Warren wrote “intelligent” and Dolly wrote “funny”.’
‘I do think you’re bare funny, though,’ he insists.
‘Bit big headed that I put “funny” myself, though, isn’t it?’ she says with an awkward laugh.
One thing I’ve learned is that nice and kind aren’t always the same thing. Kind is about doing things for others no matter how it benefits you. I can’t help but wonder if, actually, Dolly deserves the ‘kind’. She’s not nice, but she is kind.
Lucas is well onto the next question. ‘Ladies, what’s your man’s favourite breakfast?’
I have no idea about this, so I just scribble down ‘croissant’. That’s what people are always eating in London – there’s a reason we have a Pret on every corner. The city runs on cheap espresso and stale pastries.
Only Dolly and Bridget get this one right, with a peanut butter and jam bagel and protein shakes for Warren and Jackson respectively.
Patrick’s answer is Marmite toast.
‘That’s your favourite?’ Malachi gasps. ‘Of everything you could eat in the world for breakfast, you picked Marmite?’
‘It’s a good source of vitamin B!’ Patrick protests.
‘Oh, that’s tragic,’ says Whit. ‘Live a little, man. You could be eating waffles!’
‘With Marmite?’ Bridget asks, her nose rucked up in disgust.
Whit shivers. ‘I hope not.’
I wonder if Patrick knows what my favourite is. I probably would have put crêpes because of this morning, but… is that true?
This round brings Dolly and Bridget in line with me.
Lina is still standing at the start.
‘Come on, babe, you know I also love a green juice,’ Zack groans. ‘I made you one this morning!’
‘In my defence,’ she says, wiping clean her board, ‘it was kind of gross.’
‘That’s very rude actually.’ His lip curls into a pout.
I really am not sure I like him. I thought Jackson would be the one I’d be having to work hard to like, but at least he’s pretty on the surface about being, well, him. There’s something about Zack that gives me the weirds.
I really thought Lina was going to pick Cobey. She didn’t want to talk about it in the warehouse, and we’ve not had time since because my brain’s been leaking out my ears.
It’s always strange when your friend brings home a boyfriend that you can’t quite work out. Maybe she sees something in him that the rest of us can’t yet.
‘Men!’ shouts Karina, commanding our attention. ‘What did your fiancée want to be as a kid?’
I scribble down my answer, realising quickly that there’s not actually a name for the person who builds safe crossings for hedgehogs so they don’t get run over.
When I talked to Dolly about it back in the warehouse, it took so much context to explain.
I guess conservationist would be close, but I’m not sure we’ve even talked about it?
Needless to say, Patrick doesn’t seem to know either, because he’s written ‘veterinarian’.
Dolly would have got it right.
‘Close!’ I say truthfully.
‘Hang on, what does that say?’ Patrick leans forward and squints rather than coming closer and leaving his designated position. ‘Hedgehog road-crossing maker?’
‘I don’t think that’s a job, honey,’ says Malachi, who has correctly guessed that Whit was born to be a surgeon. ‘But maybe it should be.’
‘You could make it one,’ insists Whit kindly.
‘Surely I get half a point?’ Zack says, pointing between his and Lina’s boards because he wrote ‘teacher’ and she wrote ‘Yoga teacher’.
‘No half points in this challenge,’ says Lucas.
‘Ew, a mortician?’ cries Bridget, and I know she is looking at Dolly’s board – strange to know I’d also have got that right.
‘I know, but it wasn’t to be,’ Dolly says dramatically.
‘OMG why?’
‘It’s a bit of a dead-end career, isn’t it?’
I can’t help but snort-laugh at that. She is funny.
Warren knew about her morbid childhood ambitions, so they step forward, putting both Dolly and Whit ahead of me, with Bridget and I tying in second. Lina has not stepped forward at all.
I need to catch up or Dolly is going to take our venue from us.
‘Ladies,’ says Lucas in a way that makes me want to shiver. ‘How many people has your man slept with?’
Oh. Shit. We haven’t discussed that.
‘Really? Breakfast and body counts?’ Dolly calls with genuine annoyance, looking from the Nguyens to production. ‘Is that what we’re going for?’
‘Shut up,’ hisses Bridget. ‘I know this one.’
It turns out she does not, unless Jackson has upped his number on purpose. When they reveal their boards, Bridget fixes him with a narrowed look. ‘I guess I got it wrong,’ she mutters.
I guessed one for Peony, and get it right. He’s only been with one woman before me and he nearly married her? That’s a strong bond.
It depresses me to see Lina and Zack have variations of he lost count. They finally get to step forward, but Lina looks like she wants the ground to swallow her.
‘Oh, Zack, that’s not right,’ Dolly groans.
‘That’s kind of slut shaming, babes,’ Bridget points out through gritted teeth. ‘Even if it’s gross for Zack to not remember the women he’s slept with.’
‘I wasn’t keeping count,’ he insists. ‘Wouldn’t it be creepier if I kept like a spreadsheet of them all?’
‘Weirdly specific!’ quips Dolly, which earns a scatter of oohs from Warren and Malachi. ‘And we’re not disgusted that you can’t do maths – it hints at the way you might view women as disposable.’
I hate to agree with Dolly, but I do.
What does Lina see in Zack? I don’t think they’re faking their relationship.
Does she think she can change him for the better?
I know love means sometimes you don’t notice the sheer number of red flags a person is furiously and often proudly waving in your face.
I hope she doesn’t think we’re being mean.
Everyone got that right, so I’m still behind Dolly. Whit and Bridget too, but I doubt Bridget cares about getting married in England.
‘Men, what are your fiancée’s biggest turn-ons?’ Karina says with a cheeky smile.
Would Patrick even know this? We’ve barely talked about physical intimacy.
The only person here I’ve slept with is Dolly. Would Warren know?
That night flashes through my mind. The wave of her body, how her mouth fell open after each kiss in a gasp, locking eyes with her as she made me orgasm.
I can’t help it. My eyes slide over to her. It’s a jolt through my body when I see she’s looking right back at me.
‘Hang on,’ Zack shouts. ‘The rule is we’re not supposed to be sleeping together in the villa, so how would we know?’