Chapter 8
HARPER
CHAPTER EIGHT
Turned out living with Levi was exactly like living alone. It’d only been a couple days, but so far, I’d had the apartment all to myself. He was gone when I woke up in the morning and didn’t return until well after I’d retreated to my room for the night. For all I knew, he never returned at all.
Maybe he’d decided to live in the construction zone at the resort. Maybe he roamed the streets of Starlight Cove all night long.
Maybe he had a girlfriend and was spending his nights in her bed.
Before I could stop it, a knot twisted up my stomach for no good reason. It certainly wasn’t because I cared who Levi spent his time with. That was ridiculous and so far out of the realm of reality, it was laughable. It was obviously just old wounds brought back to life. The reminder that I hadn’t been good enough for that role but someone else was. Nothing more.
Lightning flashed in the distance, the wind picking up as rain started to fall, and I hustled into the building, that hum under my skin urging me faster. I’d been terrified of storms since I was a little girl. It didn’t matter how old I got or how illogical it was. That fear had never left me.
I slipped my key into the lock and pushed open the door, readying myself for another night alone. I hated being by myself during storms—a reminder of all those years ago—but I’d gotten good at it. Especially living the life I did.
I had a system now—distractions in whatever form I could find. I’d grab something quick to eat and slip into my room, put on my noise-canceling headphones, and disappear into the book I was reading. Nothing like the escapism of a spicy romance to get my mind off that night I’d been trying most of my life to forget.
Except when I stepped inside the apartment, a mouthwatering scent hit me, and I froze on the spot. Levi stood in the kitchen, stirring something on the stove, his icy blue eyes connecting with mine immediately.
Fuck. Shit. Fucking shit. We hadn’t been in the same space since the first night I’d moved in, and it’d been working just fine. I didn’t know if upsetting that was a good idea.
But before I could even think about turning around and slipping right back out the door, a deafening crack of thunder split the air, shaking the floor beneath me. I jumped with a yelp, my hand flying to my chest as I shot a glance out the window at the ever-darkening sky. I hated how much storms continued to affect me, like I was still that little girl. I was a thirty-year-old woman who’d traveled the world by myself, for God’s sake. I’d lived on my own since I was eighteen, handled shit without anyone’s help. And yet, I was scared of a damn storm.
Worse, I hated that I was basically rolling over and exposing my underbelly to the one man I swore I’d never be soft around again.
“Don’t be stupid and go back out there just to spite me,” he said, turning away from me and back to the stove. “Besides, I made plenty.”
I hesitated as the rain began to pelt the windows and eyed him. He stood with his back to me as he stirred something in a pot, his back muscles bunching and flexing under the thin cotton T-shirt he wore. Had it been anyone other than Levi, the sight would’ve been hot. A huge, tattooed man with inked sleeves down both arms cooking something that smelled amazing? Yeah, sign me up, please and thank you.
Unfortunately, the huge, tattooed man cooking was the last person in the world I wanted to spend even five minutes with, let alone a meal. And definitely not an evening. What if the power went out? What if we were stuck together, in the dark, with nothing but candlelight to illuminate the space?
Yeah, no. I was not at all interested in suffering through that.
The lights flickered, and I shot my gaze around, praying to whatever God would listen that I didn’t actually want that to happen. My worst-case scenario was not a goddamn invitation to the universe. Thankfully, the power only flickered but remained strong. But that was merely half my issue. The other half was my ex-boyfriend, standing there looking like God’s gift to women, and I was stuck in a too-small space with him.
Just as I reached for the knob, deciding I was totally fine cutting off my nose to spite my face, another crack of thunder shook the apartment. At the same moment, lightning lit up the sky, and a deluge of rain battered the windows, proving the storm wasn’t coming. It was already on top of us.
Levi blew out a long, aggrieved sigh, as if I were getting on his last nerve. “Stop being so fucking stubborn and sit down. It’s spaghetti, not a life sentence.”
I couldn’t say whether I stood frozen because of the storm or him, just that I was. My feet felt like they were encased in cement blocks, my fight, flight, or freeze instinct choosing my least favorite option. And then, as if the universe wanted to dump a bit more on top of me, a strong gust of wind rattled the windows, and the lights flickered once more before going out entirely.
“Fuck,” I whispered, the word barely leaving me. My body flushed, my breaths coming quicker. Panic clawed its way up my chest as memories flooded me faster than I could stop them.
Being outside, pitch black except for when lightning lit up the sky. Lost in the dark as rain pelted my skin. Having no idea where I was or how to get back home. And knowing, without a doubt, no one even realized I was gone.
“Looks like your decision’s made for you. You’re not wandering around in a thunderstorm while the power’s out,” Levi said, his tone brooking no argument. As if he were the boss of me. It was something I normally would’ve snapped back at, but I couldn’t find my voice at all, trapped in that time more than twenty years ago when I’d screamed myself hoarse. “Now, sit the fuck down while I get some candles.”
It was dark in the apartment, not even a sliver of moonlight shining through the windows. I stood at the front door, gripping the knob in an effort to ground myself. Reminding myself I was here, in the present, with the one man I couldn’t stand. I wasn’t lost outside again. I was safe. Or as safe as I could be with Levi near.
I could hear him shuffling around, picked up his scent as he breezed past me, but I couldn’t even see my hand in front of my face. Until suddenly, a metallic rasp sounded, followed by a soft click, and a flicker of light brightened the space.
Levi stood at the breakfast bar, a lighter in his hand as he lit a small candle. The flame illuminated his face, accentuating his sharp cheekbones and his full lips, and I was reminded once again how gorgeous my ex-boyfriend was. Because of course he was. Some things were just patently unfair.
He glanced at me then, his gaze flicking over me from head to toe, pausing briefly on the death grip I had on the doorknob. I could’ve sworn his eyes softened for the briefest moment before that hard expression was back on his face.
With a sigh, he walked straight toward me, removed the bag from my shoulder, and hung it on the hook by the door. Then he grabbed me by the elbow and guided me to the stool on the other side of the breakfast bar. “Sit.”
He didn’t wait for me to comply, just pushed me onto the stool before making his way around the counter and back into the kitchen. There was no doubt this was dangerous territory—sharing a meal, just the two of us, with nothing but candlelight to brighten the space—but I didn’t move. And even if I had, I wasn’t sure Levi wouldn’t have dragged me right back.
As if my body knew I was still contemplating bailing, my stomach rumbled loud enough to be heard even over the raging storm outside. I’d been so busy today, I hadn’t eaten anything since the breakfast sandwich I’d grabbed on my way to interview the mayor that morning, and I was paying for that now.
“Here.” Levi set a plate in front of me, piled high with enough spaghetti to feed a small country, before turning his back to me to dish up his own.
Rather than take the stool directly next to mine, Levi remained in the kitchen, setting his plate down on the other side of the counter. Then he grabbed a couple glasses and a bottle of wine, expertly uncorking it, and poured me a healthy glass.
“Didn’t take you for a wine guy.” But I also wasn’t going to complain because my nerves could use a little soothing.
He shrugged, lifting his eyes to mine for a brief moment as he poured himself a glass. “I’m not. I keep a couple bottles of Marianne’s favorite on hand. And I’m guessing you still hate beer.”
I froze, startled that he remembered… Just like he seemed to remember I was scared of storms, if his bossing and efforts at distracting were any indication. I hated how much he seemed to recall about me, though I couldn’t deny the tiny part inside that actually…enjoyed it.
This man was nothing but contradictions. Gruff, stern, off-putting on the outside. A prickly cactus to anyone looking. But that same prickly cactus kept his best friend’s mom’s favorite wine on hand and knew just what to say to get my stubborn ass to sit down, even when I wanted to do anything but.
I had to ignore every instinct in me that was drawn to the allure of that. The allure of him.
“You gonna eat, or are you waiting for me to feed you?”
I snapped my gaze to his, only to find him already staring at me. “Just trying to figure out if I was distracted long enough for you to poison my meal.”
With his eyes still locked on mine, he took a long drink from his wineglass. Then he grabbed his fork and stabbed it onto my plate, gathering a large amount of noodles before slipping it into his mouth. He raised a brow at me as he chewed and swallowed, then tucked back into his own meal.
“Fine. Not poisoned.” I blew out a heavy sigh, trying in vain to ignore the storm raging behind me…not to mention the storm that always seemed to rage between the two of us. I picked up my fork and twirled some pasta onto it, inhaling deeply at how good it smelled. I took a bite and forced myself not to moan at how delicious it was. Jesus, the asshole could cook, too?
After several long moments of silence between us, making the turbulent storm all that much louder and more distracting, I finally said, “So…how do you build a boat?”
Levi snorted, a sound that was so out of place for him, I did a double take. He shook his head as he stared down at his plate, any hint of amusement wiped clear from his face. Meeting my eyes again, he said, “You don’t have to fake interest because you’re keeping a scorecard. Just eat the fucking food, Harper.”
“Maybe I want to have a conversation.”
“You and I both know that’s not true.”
I narrowed my eyes at him, annoyed by the fact that he still knew me so well. “Fine. Maybe you’re right. But this still needs to be a fair exchange.”
“Why’s that?”
“I don’t like owing you something. This needs to be tit for tat.”
“And you think me talking about myself is what I want out of this interaction?”
Before I could answer, a crack of thunder boomed as lightning flashed through the sky. I jumped, my fork clattering to my plate, though I’d thankfully swallowed back the scream lodged in my throat.
I picked up my utensil again, hoping like hell Levi hadn’t noticed the tremors in my hand as I brought a bite to my mouth. Though, of course, that was wishful thinking. His eyes were like laser beams, focused on any weakness of mine he could find.
But instead of saying anything about it…instead of making fun of me or calling me out, he just sighed, a heavy, frustrated sound. Then, much to my shock, he started talking about boats. How he designed them, how he restored them, how he built them from scratch.
And somehow, through it all, he held my attention. The storm faded into the background as Levi spoke, his low, rumbling voice settling over me as his passion for his job bled into every word. While he explained his craft, I saw a tiny glimpse of the boy I’d loved all those years ago. The one who’d been rough around the edges but so sweet to me. So kind and giving.
At another loud crack, I jumped again, but this time, I noticed I wasn’t the only one reacting to the storm. It was apparent in the tightening of Levi’s muscles. The bunch of his shoulders. The rigidness of his jaw. And I felt like an idiot. An inconsiderate idiot at that. Because of course he’d hate storms. After everything he’d gone through…
“Why didn’t you tell me you’re scared of storms, too?”
“I’m not,” he said immediately. Then, when I just stared at him in response, he blew out a long breath and leaned back against the counter at the opposite side of the kitchen, crossing his arms over his chest. His biceps bunched and flexed, the inked designs drawing my eye, making me long to discover them all. “I just don’t particularly like them.”
“For good reason.” I cleared my throat, having no idea how to broach this but needing to, so I just went for it. “I wanted to tell you how sorry I am. About your mom.”
A flurry of emotions passed over his face—anger and sadness and grief…so much grief, followed by…guilt?—before he wiped his expression clear and lifted his chin in acknowledgment. I thought he might open up about it. Talk about her a bit since I’d known her, too. But instead, he said, “Sounds like you owe me a story.”
I blinked at him, unable to follow his abrupt change in topic. “About?”
“You never did tell me why you’re scared of storms. And since you know my why, it’s only fair. Tit for tat, right?”
Right. It was clear Levi’s mom was off-limits, at least to me. And that was fine. It was understandable. And certainly shouldn’t sting like it did.
I took a sip of wine and cleared my throat, averting my gaze. “When I was little, I got lost outside during a severe thunderstorm while my parents were throwing a party. It took them a while to realize I was missing.”
Levi’s jaw ticked, and I could almost make myself believe it was concern for me. In actuality, it was probably frustration over being stuck in this conversation for this much time. “How long?”
I shrugged, taking another drink to buy myself time. The truth was, eternity wouldn’t have been long enough. “A while.”
“How long, sparrow?”
His old nickname for me slammed into my chest, throwing me off-balance and leaving me grappling for purchase. I hadn’t heard that in more than a decade, and I’d had no idea how much I would miss it once it was gone. I’d hated it when he’d first given it to me, a reminder that our time together was always fleeting because we’d only had the summers. That, in the end, I always had to leave, fly away for another year.
I stared at him, a thousand questions running through my mind, but he gazed back, not-so-patiently waiting for my response. As if he hadn’t even noticed the word had slipped from his lips.
That was probably better for everyone anyway. Nothing good would come from going down memory lane with the man who’d broken my heart beyond repair.
I cleared my throat. “A few hours.”
“Jesus Christ,” he muttered.
“Everything turned out fine.” If you didn’t count the hours I’d spent screaming myself hoarse or the years of therapy I’d worked through as an adult or this neat little lifelong phobia.
He stared at me for a long moment, his eyes pinning me in place, searching in a way that felt like he could see straight into my soul. I wasn’t so sure he couldn’t.
Finally, he said, “I wouldn’t expect anything less for the perfect Davidsons.”
“Right.” I huffed out a laugh and nodded.
My family was the furthest thing from perfect, though my parents had definitely pushed that narrative to anyone who’d listen. And though I’d walked the line they had guided me to, I’d veered off it with Levi. With him, I’d let my guard down as much as I could. Shown him parts of me I’d never shown anyone. And still, he hadn’t seen.
After this long of being on my own, I should’ve been used to this feeling of loneliness, but it still packed a punch. More so with this man who’d had the power to wreck me once. I certainly wasn’t going to give him the opportunity to do it again.
“Thanks for dinner.” I pushed away my nearly empty plate as I drained my wineglass. I set it on the counter harder than I intended, but everything was bubbling up inside me, and I had no hope of containing it. “But don’t think this changes anything between us.”
He was silent long enough that I finally glanced up at him, only to find his attention already on me. Those ice-blue eyes probing in a way that made me shift in my seat. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”