Chapter 24
HARPER
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Addison:
Double bacon cheeseburger
3 shots of pickle juice
Purple vitamin water
Harper:
Are you trying to make me puke?
Addison:
I’m trying to make you NOT puke
Trust me
I’m a professional
If I hadn’t already made this appointment with Chase for a proper interview, I wasn’t sure I would have gotten out of bed at all today. Fortunately, the texts from Addison with her tried and true hangover cure had worked like a damn miracle. Not to mention the ibuprofen, bottle of water, and a somehow perfectly hot cup of coffee that was exactly to my liking sitting on my nightstand.
I had no idea how any of it had gotten there. Fairies could’ve delivered it for all I knew. I was just grateful I’d had it, along with Addison’s suggestions.
After downing a few ibuprofen with the entire bottle of water, I’d done as she’d told me. And while it hadn’t been fun ingesting all of that, her little cure-alls actually worked. By late morning, I no longer felt like I was dying, and by midafternoon, I felt relatively normal, save for the lingering headache.
Mabel gave me a ride over to the resort since she had book club today, this time in a cabana on the beach. As soon as she shut off the car, she shot off, tittering on about making sure this week’s boob cookies were set up and ready before everyone else got there.
The main inn was under construction, which meant the entire space was in chaos, with various workers milling about. Meticulous Aiden who thrived on order just had to be loving that.
With my laptop bag slung over my shoulder and a pink bakery box in hand, I strode through the entryway, glancing around for Addison. I found her just outside the parlor, bossing around a man who looked to be approximately twice her size. The guy regarded her with rapt attention, not of attraction but respect. Pretty impressive for a five-foot-nothing pregnant mama-to-be.
After finishing her conversation with the contractor, she headed over to me, eyeing me up and down. “Well, you don’t look like death warmed over. How’re you feeling?”
I breathed out a laugh and rubbed my fingers over my forehead. “Not gonna lie, it was touch and go there for a while. Thanks for dropping by with all that stuff.”
“All what stuff?”
“The ibuprofen, bottle of water, and a perfect cup of coffee, made exactly how I like it…” I said, hesitancy seeping into my tone.
Addison froze and glanced at me with one brow raised. “You had all that waiting for you this morning?”
“Yeah…” I said, drawing out the word. “You didn’t leave it?”
“Wasn’t me. But I’m glad you had all that because it seems like things were probably a little rough for you this morning.”
I blew out a breath and attempted to rub away the dull ache behind my right temple. “I wasn’t sure I was going to make it.”
Addison tossed her head back on a laugh. “I thought that might be the case after Levi had to carry you home.”
I froze, my brain not quite comprehending her words. A brief, foggy memory came to mind—lying in bed, boneless and sated, soft lips against my forehead…and then nothing. “He…did what now?”
She nodded, shooting me a sly smile. “Yep. Took off your sandals, covered your ass with his hoodie to make sure you didn’t flash anyone, and tossed you over his shoulder. Then he marched you straight home. When you went along without argument, I knew you were toasted,” she said. “Especially when you slapped his ass.”
I sputtered. “I what?”
She shrugged like this was a common occurrence. For all I knew, maybe it was. Maybe Levi frequently carried home drunk women who smacked his ass in thanks. It was a great ass, so they probably got in some light groping, too.
And just why the hell did that bother me so much?
Last night was little more than a blur. I remembered the not-at-all-productive talk with Brick Wall, joining the girls for dinner, talking about books and men and…probably other things, too, but I couldn’t recall.
And now that Addison had mentioned it, a flicker of last night came to mind. Levi in my bedroom, making sure I had what I needed…
Wait…he’d been the one who’d set out all that stuff on my nightstand, not Addison. And definitely not a fairy. When I’d woken up in my bed this morning, I’d been alone and completely naked. Not unusual for me after drinking, but I’d felt a tiny niggle in the back of my mind about Levi.
Apparently, that niggle was him taking care of me. Or perhaps it was the whole him carrying me home and me playing a drum solo on his ass part.
“Oh my God.” I groaned and rubbed my fingers over my brow. “That was the most I’ve drunk…maybe ever.”
“No shit?” Addison shook her head. “Damn, girl, you really jumped in with both feet. Avery was down for the count this morning, and you matched her drink for drink.”
“Did I? I don’t remember much of anything after she ordered that last pitcher of margaritas. But your hangover miracle really is a miracle.”
“Told you.”
I handed her the box I’d brought with me, filled with a dozen donuts from the bakery in town. “A little thank-you-slash-congratulations for the mama-to-be.”
Her eyes widened, and she snatched the box from me. “Oh my God, you know the way to a pregnant woman’s heart, don’t you?”
I laughed, waving her off when she offered me a donut before grabbing two for herself. “How’ve things been here? Your brothers take it okay since Avery spilled the beans?”
Addison shook her head, swiping away some chocolate frosting from the corner of her mouth. “Oh, she didn’t spill. I texted them because I knew she—or one of the rest of those loudmouths—would. So at least the boys heard it from me first. I’ve been threatened with a puppy pile at the Saturday meeting. In the meantime, they’ve all just been walking around, high-fiving, and calling each other Unc.” She rolled her eyes and mumbled, “Idiots,” but there was no hiding the affection in her tone.
Her family had been through so much, all of it after I’d already been out of their lives, so I hadn’t witnessed the fallout. But I knew it had to have been tremendous with how close they’d all been to their mom and how little their dad had always been involved.
It was good to see that even after they’d lost her, they’d managed to grow closer than I remembered their being when we were kids. They all deserved that peace. Every single one of them.
This was my favorite part of the job. Talking to people…listening to their stories. Asking the right questions to uncover details even they didn’t realize were lost in their memories.
As Chase sat across from me at one of the tables down by the beach, I readied my equipment for the interview, setting out my notebook with the list of questions I’d jotted down and a pen. Then I placed my phone on the table between us and navigated to the recording app.
“Okay, we can get started if you’re ready. Let me just turn on my recorder…” I pressed the button on my phone, the software starting up as I glanced at my notepad, deciding where to dive in first.
Chase barked out a laugh, then reached over and pressed the red circle on my phone, stopping the recording. “Seriously?”
I glanced at him, brows raised. “Oh, are you not okay if I record this interview?”
“Interview?” He scoffed, leaning back in his chair and linking his hands behind his head as he shot me a grin. “I was kind of hoping we could just talk. You know, as friends.”
Friends. Right. The trouble with that was I wasn’t in Starlight Cove to be someone’s friend. I was here to complete an assignment. And hopefully to complete it well enough to be offered a permanent position with the magazine. Chase’s and my history didn’t change that, no matter how close we’d once been.
I cleared my throat, tapping my pen twice on my notebook. “Right now, we’re not friends. You’re Chase Lockhart, hockey superstar who’s decided to settle back in Starlight Cove, and I’m here to interview you. As previously discussed.” I raised a brow, reaching over to press the record button again. “So if we could just?—”
Before I could even finish the sentence, Chase pressed the red button, stopping the recording once again.
I barely bit back a groan of frustration. “Seriously?”
“How about we chat first? We haven’t really had a chance to since you’ve been back in Starlight Cove. Hell, I don’t think we’ve really talked since we grabbed lunch last year in Chicago.”
Clenching my jaw in an attempt to rein in my irritation, I folded my hands on top of the table. “Well, this isn’t our usual once-a-year lunch. We’re talking today specifically for the article I’m writing. And I’m not going to quote something you mention during a conversation with a friend. I didn’t think I had to say this, but I take my job very seriously.”
He lifted a single shoulder in a shrug. “And I take my friendships very seriously.”
I huffed out a breath and barely stopped myself from rolling my eyes. “Do you really, now? The years I spent alone say otherwise.”
There was a heavy pause, one in which I wished like hell I could turn back time. Rewind to twenty seconds ago and never allow those words to leave my mouth. Because what was the point after all this time? He’d moved on. I thought I had, too.
“Fuck,” Chase said under his breath as he scrubbed a hand down his face. Then he leaned forward, resting his forearms on the table, and met my gaze head on. “I owe you an apology, Harper.”
I pressed my lips together and shook my head, not in any kind of headspace to deal with this right now. Maybe not ever. It’d been more than a decade since all that had gone down, and I’d moved past it. At this point, I was fine going the rest of my life never discussing it. “Can we not do this now, please?”
“I think we’re long overdue, actually. I was a shit friend to you.”
I raised a brow, crossing my arms over my chest as I leaned back in my chair. “Can’t argue with that. But it’s fine. I’m sure you had other things going on in your life.”
He dipped his chin in a nod of acknowledgment. “I did. But so did you. And you didn’t have a support system to fall back on like I did.”
I swallowed hard, averting my gaze as I tried shoving back the lump that had suddenly risen in my throat. I didn’t cry. And I certainly didn’t cry in front of other people. “Yeah, well. I handled it.”
“Of course you did,” he said, his tone full of admiration. “You’re Harper fucking Davidson, and I don’t think there’s been anything in your life you haven’t been able to handle. But just because you can doesn’t mean you should have to.”
If only life worked that way… I’d been handling shit on my own for years because the other option was crawling back to my parents after cutting them out of my life. And I had zero interest in doing that. No matter how lonely it got. They were like a cancer, and I wasn’t going to allow them to spread their poison into my life any longer.
“I don’t want to sit here and give you excuses, but Levi was a wreck after everything went down with you two. A total fucking disaster.” Chase blew out a heavy breath as he glanced at the table between us. “He was doing everything he could to escape. Alcohol. Drugs. Whatever. I was worried he’d—” Chase cut himself off, clearing his throat as he averted his gaze.
Worried he’d…what? My stomach tied itself in knots, a thousand different possibilities flying through my mind, each one worse than the last. Had he really spiraled that far? And at what point had he stopped?
Needing to know, I voiced my thought. “Worried he’d what?”
Chase pressed his lips together and shook his head, tracing a mindless pattern on the tabletop with his fingertip. “Just know he’s been stuck in a downward spiral of self-destructive behavior for a long time. Anything so he doesn’t have to think about it.”
“So he didn’t have to think about it? He was the one who ended things, Chase. It was his choice.”
“Maybe. But maybe there’s more to it than you think.”
“Well, I’d love to hear about it.”
Chase ran a hand along his stubbled jaw as he regarded me. “I wish I could tell you, but this really isn’t my story to share. Just know that not everything was—or is—as it seems. And you two need to sit down like grown-ass adults and have an actual conversation, rather than yelling and pissing matches or whatever the hell it is you two do when you’re alone in that apartment.”
Flashes of the night I’d walked in on Levi in the living room immediately came to mind. How hot he’d made me. How he’d looked at me as he’d stood there and watched. How he’d sounded…
“Time to be my dirty girl, sparrow.”
I nearly shook the thought from my head because it didn’t make any sense. Levi hadn’t said a word that night.
So then, why could I hear him so perfectly in my mind?
“Time to be my dirty girl, sparrow. Come all over your fingers and pretend it’s my cock.”
My entire body flushed, heat creeping up to pool in my cheeks. I cleared my throat, pushing away the unwelcome memories. I couldn’t think about that night right now. Not when Chase was sitting across from me, studying me carefully. The last thing I needed to do was fixate on whatever my mind had obviously conjured up as if it had come from Levi.
“Why are you telling me all this?” I finally asked.
Chase shrugged. “Because you need to know. And Levi’s sure as hell not going to tell you. Not unless you push. He likes to pretend for the whole fucking world that he’s fine. But he never pretends he’s happy. That’s because he hasn’t been in a long damn time. Not since the last night you two spent together, if I had to guess.”
I shook my head, staring at him openmouthed because none of that made sense. Not with how Levi’s and my history played out in my mind. “He was the one who broke my heart, Chase. Or have you forgotten that part?”
“I haven’t. And I can guarantee you, neither has he.” He braced his forearms on the table and leaned toward me. “Talk to him. I mean it. Before you leave Starlight Cove for good, I want you to talk to him about this. So I don’t have to keep any more fucking secrets. And so maybe I can finally have my two best friends again.”
I ended my chat with Chase with more questions than answers, his words echoing in my mind, refusing to let up. But regardless of their persistence, I couldn’t reconcile them with what I’d been telling myself for years. What I’d thought I’d known was true—that Levi had been cold, cruel, and calculating when he’d ended things and then disappeared off the face of the earth. Blocking me everywhere he could without remorse or regret.
How could I have possibly gotten that wrong?
I wandered along the beach, needing time alone to think before I headed back to the apartment. Before I saw Levi again.
It was so peaceful down here, the water lapping at the shore and the soft ocean breeze through my hair. As kids, Levi and I had spent hours on the beach, talking about our dreams for the future. A future we were supposed to share together.
Those memories felt like a lifetime ago now. So much had changed since I’d left Starlight Cove behind. I’d changed. The hopeful, naive girl I’d been back then was long gone, replaced by someone more guarded, more cynical. Someone who’d learned the hard way that dreams didn’t always come true. And people didn’t always stay.
Still, Chase’s admission tugged at something inside me. Made me wonder if there was more to the story than I realized. More to the breakup than what met the eye.
I’d spent the past decade thinking that Levi had broken things off without a backward glance. That I meant nothing to him. His harsh words—words I’d spent years trying to forget—and the cold, detached way he’d said them flooded my mind.
I don’t love you. I never really did. I was only interested in a good time, and I’m bored now. This was just a summer fling anyway. It never meant anything.
I swallowed down the hurt that always crept in when my memories overwhelmed me. But for the first time, I tried to look at what had happened objectively. See if I’d missed anything when I’d been blinded by my hurt.
I could still see him standing there, shoulders hunched, head down. His hands had been shoved into his pockets as the sunset illuminated him from behind. He hadn’t even looked me in the eye. Not once. At the time, I’d thought he couldn’t stand the sight of me, but now I wondered if maybe he just simply couldn’t. Because if he did, maybe he wouldn’t have been able to go through with it at all…
If even an ounce of what Chase said was true, this changed things.
This changed everything.
And though I wanted to cling to the anger and betrayal I’d been carrying since Levi had ended things, I had to admit, at least to myself, that it might be more complicated than that.
My feelings certainly were.
When he’d broken up with me, he’d taken a piece of my heart, leaving a gaping wound behind. That ever-present hurt was a constant ache that simmered under the surface, flaring up whenever he was around. Manifesting itself into pure anger. I wanted to cling to that like a security blanket, using it to keep him at a distance. Using it to protect myself because I’d been through too much…hurt by every single person who’d supposedly loved me.
But as much as I wanted to hate Levi, and as much as it would make things easier if I did, I didn’t. Not really. I hated what he’d done to me. To us.
I could admit that, more than anything, I was hurt by him. Confused and blindsided and now, years later, still a little heartbroken, if I was being completely honest. But I didn’t hate him.
This whole situation would’ve been a hell of a lot easier if I did.
Still, I couldn’t reconcile the details Chase had given me with what had actually happened. None of it made sense. Not why Levi would do it or why he’d stayed away.
True, the night before he’d broken things off, we’d been caught having sex in the back seat of my dad’s car. But his parents hadn’t been the ones to freak out—he’d been eighteen at the time anyway. But mine? Mine had lost their shit and spouted all kinds of threats.
Before we’d even left the police station, they’d yelled and screamed about how I was ruining my life with a boy like Levi. Someone who wouldn’t amount to anything more than a worthless drunk like his father. How I was tarnishing their name and my dad’s future in politics. How they’d cut me off if I didn’t end things immediately.
That didn’t exactly work out as they’d hoped, though the end result was the same.
I was no longer with Levi, thanks to his doing, but it had also been the night I’d decided to stop playing my parents’ game. I was no longer allowing their rules to restrict me. I was ready to forge my own path. Move forward with my life how I saw fit, rather than forcing myself into the framework they’d crafted for me or following the plans they’d made for me.
And when I’d told them as much, they’d been the ones to give the ultimatum. Them and the life they’d created for me—or nothing.
So, I’d chosen nothing.
In reality, it had been everything. Just not them.
I didn’t know what had truly happened the night Levi broke things off. I didn’t know if he was just giving lip service, and if he had been, why? And why couldn’t he tell me what had actually happened? Why couldn’t he have reached out at some point over the past decade-plus and made things right?
But I did know one thing—Levi and I needed to talk. I could finally admit these feelings I had toward him weren’t hate. I was angry, without a doubt. Pissed at everything that had happened. But I still felt lingering affection, tied up with hurt and heartbreak.
And the only reason that remained was because the connection between us was still going strong, the string tying us together thin and frayed but attached. Something neither time nor distance had been able to sever.