Chapter 12 Jules
JULES
“Are you okay?”
Believing Serena had gotten hurt, I looked up to see both of my employees with their gazes fixed on me instead of working on prepping all the baked goods we needed to for the day ahead. “You’re asking me?”
Neither of them was remotely concerned about the work we had to do, and it was Birdie who replied, “Yes, we’re asking you.”
“I’m fine. Why?”
Serena cut in. “You’re gorgeous, Jules. Always. But you look like you haven’t slept in days.”
I could admit that I certainly felt like that had been the case. Of course, it was all my own doing. “Yeah, I’m not surprised. Things have been a bit busy for me lately. I can’t remember the last time I went home after work and stayed there until it was time to come back here again.”
Relieved that there wasn’t something to be majorly concerned about, Serena and Birdie both got back to the task at hand, preparing the treats. Serena said, “Oh, it sounds like you’ve been having a lot of fun. Anything particularly exciting going on?”
I shrugged. “Some of it. I’ve spent more time than is reasonable at Cooper and Skye’s place, visiting with them and my nieces.
I’ve wanted to make sure Rosie feels just as special as always, even though I know her parents are doing everything they can to include her in all that’s going on with the new baby.
Plus, I sneak in some of my own cuddling time with Lily, too, which gives Rosie time alone with her mom and dad.
And sometimes, when I’m done there, I’ll head over to Wyatt and Rhea’s, so I can visit with baby Jack.
When I’m not at either one of those spots, I’ve been spending as much time as I can with Ivy.
I just want to be the most supportive sister I can be to her throughout her first pregnancy. ”
“I hope you know that you’re the best human on this planet, Jules,” Birdie declared.
Smiling, I dropped my gaze to the trays in front of me and continued frosting the cupcakes. “Oh, I think anyone would do the same things if they found themselves in my shoes.”
I decided not to give my friends the full truth about why I appeared to be so tired. Because, while I had been spending a lot of time with my family, it wasn’t all that I was doing.
Going home alone every night meant that I spent far too much time thinking about things I didn’t want to be thinking about.
So, I’d been going out. I went into town and spent time at a pub, dancing and enjoying myself. It gave me a distraction and something else, something that numbed the pain of learning how wrong I’d been about Beau.
It didn’t bother me to go out alone, either. What did bug me was that I needed the distraction at all, that I felt the need to prove something to myself about who I was as a woman.
Sure, I came home exhausted every night and was able to collapse in my bed without needing to think about my bad decisions or wondering about what could have been.
God, I felt crazy for thinking about that, considering I hadn’t spent years or even months with Beau.
It was a matter of a couple of weeks, a handful of dates.
It shouldn’t have mattered at all. I should have just moved on.
But what happened with him had shaken my faith in myself and my instincts.
I had considered calling Ava or Layla and asking them to join me when I went out, knowing that neither one of them would’ve turned me down. But I didn’t want to have to spend the time defending my reasons for wanting to entertain myself.
Of course, after my birthday party, they all knew what had happened with Beau.
I’d done my best to assure them I was going to be fine, no matter what happened.
The bigger problem was that both Ava and Layla wanted to see me try to figure things out with Beau, to give him that chance.
And I didn’t want the pressure from them when I wasn’t sure I was interested in taking that chance again.
Until he’d sent that text about his attempt at baking cookies two days ago. With the exception of the birthday wishes, it was the first since everything came to light between us and went south that I felt like Beau was seeing me as more than just someone to call when he wanted a good time.
I was still punishing myself for having been so bold with him right from the start. I’d learned my lesson, and I didn’t want to repeat it.
But that text was one I couldn’t ignore. It made me believe that there was at least one thing Beau knew about me that went beyond just the physical relationship we’d had.
Sadly, ever since I sent him a recipe two days ago that I thought he’d be able to manage easily, I hadn’t heard anything from him. I could only assume that he’d either made the attempt, and it didn’t go well, or he hadn’t tried at all.
The worst thing about it all was that I’d been fighting not to reach out to him myself to see if he’d had any luck. I hated that I cared at all.
“I don’t think just anyone would do what you’ve done,” Serena said, cutting into my thoughts. “You’re one of a kind, Jules.”
Warmth spread through me. “Are you two buttering me up for something? This sure is a lot of good praise this early in the morning.’
“Don’t forget we just told you that you look like you haven’t slept in days,” Birdie reminded me.
“Yeah, but you said I’m always gorgeous, too.”
They forced awkward smiles on their faces. “Of course, you are.”
I rolled my eyes. Evidently, they’d been lying, and I looked hideous. “Fine. I’ll make a deal with you. As long as you two get back to work right now, I’ll go home tonight and stay there, so I can get a good night of sleep.”
My recent shenanigans to deal with all that I was feeling were really starting to take their toll, anyway. I had to let my body rest for once, even if it meant my mind wouldn’t.
“Deal.”
With that, the three of us got back to work. And the next few hours passed in a flash at the bakery. With kids finally out of school, families taking trips, and the beautiful weather, Westwood’s was busy day after day. Any thoughts of Beau were pushed, at least temporarily, to the back of my mind.
We worked nonstop for several hours straight, barely having a moment to take each of our individual breaks for lunch.
Like usual, things slowed down just after three o’clock in the afternoon.
Most guests at Westwood’s were usually occupied with activities at this point in the day, particularly the theme park, so it gave us an opportunity to breathe and prepare for the wave that would follow just after dinner.
Thirty minutes later, it was time for Birdie to leave. With Serena only working part time, I tried to make sure that Birdie and I both got the occasional early day off during the week. Of course, that also coincided with working later when the weekend rolled around.
“Okay, I’m out of here,” she declared.
“Sounds good. Have a great night, Birdie.”
“I will. And you better find a way to get some sleep tonight.”
I waved my hand in the air dismissively. “Yeah, yeah. Go. I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”
My eyes followed her as she left, a wave of gratitude washing over me. It would’ve been difficult not to feel thankful to have someone like her in my life. Not only was she an excellent addition to my team here at The Mixing Bowl, but she was also a great friend.
I smiled as it hit me just how lucky I was.
Sure, there were areas of my life—one, in particular—that were creating a bit of a problem for me, but I really didn’t have any reason to complain.
I had a wonderful family, good friends, and a business I loved.
Maybe, after giving myself the chance to get a good night of rest tonight, if I continued to go out dancing or to visit the pub, I might find what I was looking for in that other area of my life.
But as quickly as that smile had formed on my face, it vanished. Because my gaze had drifted away from Birdie and through the sea of individuals gathered around with their families and friends, catching sight of someone walking in my direction.
Beau Easton.
And he looked as handsome as ever.
My heart hammered, and my lungs stopped functioning at the sight of him. Weeks had passed since I saw him last, and if there had been any progress for me in finding a way to move past the hurt, because I’d jumped in far too quickly with him, that progress was gone.
God, he was handsome.
And there was something about the way he was looking at me now that had my knees feeling weak.
I couldn’t do this again. I couldn’t fall victim to his charm, only to be tossed out like yesterday’s trash. Maybe that hadn’t exactly been Beau’s intention from the start; perhaps he’d just assumed I wanted the same thing he did, but it didn’t change how I wound up feeling in the end.
There was little I would have done to have a rush at the bakery right now.
At least that would allow me to keep whatever this was about to be as brief as possible.
Each step he took toward me matched the thundering in my chest, and I was, by no means, prepared for whatever this was as he made that final approach.
Beau came to a stop on the opposite side of the counter, and his eyes roamed over me in a way I’d never experienced from anyone in my life. If I didn’t know any better, I might have believed the look in his eyes was that of relief, regret, hope, and despair all rolled into one.
“Hi, Jules.”
Even his voice was far too much for me to handle. I could barely get out my own response. “Beau.”
Something flashed in his eyes, but he didn’t speak. He simply stood there, staring at me.
Unable to stand the intense scrutiny of that gaze, I asked, “What are you doing here?”
It was like I’d snapped him out of whatever thoughts were swirling in his own head as he blinked at the sound of my voice, like even though he was physically here, his mind had drifted somewhere else.
He pulled himself together and sighed. “I tried. I tried so hard—twice, I might add—and I just can’t seem to do it right.”