Chapter 14 Jules #2
Beau offered a demonstration, and I determined that an ollie seemed a simple enough trick. At least I didn’t have to worry about flipping the board around and being able to land on it again.
I took the board from Beau and moved to the middle as he took a few steps back. He gave me some verbal instructions again, and I went for it.
“Close,” he said. “But that wasn’t a bad first try.”
Excitement rippled through me. “Okay, okay, okay. Hang on. Let me try again.”
I set myself up for it and did it again.
“Better!”
Another time. And another. And another.
“That’s it, Jules. I think you’ve got it down.”
“Yeah?”
“See? I told you this would work. It allows you to practice the trick without worrying about falling and getting hurt in the process.”
I did the ollie several more times just to be sure I understood the concept and wasn’t experiencing some weird beginner’s luck.
“Can you show me something else?” I asked once I was confident in my abilities.
Beau took the board from me and demonstrated another trick.
For at least another hour, we continued that pattern of Beau teaching and me learning.
The ollie wound up being the only trick I mastered, and my shins definitely took a few hits when I tried to do my first flip trick.
It’d be a long time before I could successfully land one of those and even longer before I’d be willing to attempt it anywhere other than the trampoline.
“Oh, I’m exhausted,” I said, sitting down, allowing my head to drop back on the trampoline.
Beau dropped down onto his back beside me. “You worked hard today. I’m honestly impressed by you.”
I rolled my head in his direction, my eyes meeting his. Why did he have to be so handsome? “Me? I’m wondering how you do this all the time. I could never keep up.”
He returned the smile. “You’d get used to it.”
“So, it’s true? This is how you normally spend your days?”
“Laying on a trampoline with a beautiful woman?” He sighed. “Unfortunately, no.”
I couldn’t allow those words to penetrate, because I’d wind up right back where I was a few weeks ago. Instead, I asked, “Well, what exactly do you do as a professional skateboarder? You said before that you don’t do contests much.”
“I used to compete a lot more than I do now. I’ve shifted most of the work I do to brand promotion through video parts and small tours.”
My brows pulled together. “Video parts?”
“It’s just what they call skate videos. The company will have us go out to different spots in some cities and film a bunch of clips. The videographer will edit multiple clips together in several different shorter videos, and the company will use those to help promote the brand.”
Understanding dawned. “I see. Do you do these frequently?”
“Not all the time, but there’s some regularity to it. We’re actually getting ready to go on a small two-week tour,” he shared.
“Oh?”
“Yep. Vic, Talon, Jamie, and I are going to be in Richmond, Baltimore, DC, Philly, and New York. We leave on Saturday.”
Two weeks.
Just when I thought we were getting somewhere with mending things between us and forming a solid base for a friendship, he was leaving.
“Well, that sounds… busy. But I suspect you’ll have fun.”
“Yeah, we always have a good time.”
“I’m just a bit disappointed,” I confessed.
He grew alert, his body tensing. “Why?”
My lips curved into a lazy smile. “How will I practice my skills if you’re not here?”
“So, come over.”
“What?”
“You can take the board with you, and whenever you want to practice, even when I’m away, just come over and use the trampoline. I don’t mind.”
I blinked rapidly. “Are you being serious?”
“Yes.”
Beau blew my mind. I really was at a loss as to how a guy who claimed he didn’t believe in love seemed to have so much to give, even if he didn’t do it romantically.
He had the capacity for it, and I truly believed that was more than enough to get him to a place where things could be different for him.
But it wasn’t my place to say.
And I certainly wasn’t interested in doing something that would ruin whatever this new thing was that was developing between us.
“I appreciate that offer, Beau, but I’m not sure how useful that’ll be when there’d be nobody here to critique me.”
“You could call me to talk about it,” he offered. “And you can send me videos of whatever you try.”
I smiled at him. “That’s sweet of you to offer, but I’m not going to bother you while you’re working.”
“If I’m in the middle of something, I can just call you back. You wouldn’t be bothering me.”
I tore my attention away from him and looked up. Only a few random white clouds dotted the bright blue sky above us.
What was I doing here?
What was I doing to myself?
I’d spent a couple of weeks now trying to do everything I could to forget about Beau. Now I was here on his trampoline after having spent hours learning to skateboard from him when I knew he had no interest in anything romantic happening between us.
But it had been such a wonderful day, and I still enjoyed every second of being around him.
“I had a really great time today, Beau. Thank you for this.”
In a move I hadn’t expected, he reached out and curled his fingers around my hand.
I could feel his stare on me, but I couldn’t bring myself to look at him.
I stayed just as I was, on my back on that trampoline, staring up at the sky with Beau’s hand holding mine.
It was so quiet, so peaceful, and the most content I’d felt since before I’d kicked him out of my place weeks ago.
I wished I could’ve stayed in this moment forever, because everything about it was perfect.
“I’ve missed you, Jules.”
My body tensed at his admission. It was everything I’d wanted to hear and more. I thought it might be a mistake, but I couldn’t stop myself from being honest with him. “I’ve missed you, too.”
His fingers twitched. “I realize this might be difficult to talk about, but I need to say this. When things happened between us, I understand why you reacted the way you did. You had every right to be upset with me for not being clear about my intentions from the start. But I promise you that I wasn’t lying when I told you just how much I enjoy being around you.
Today was easily the best day I’ve had in a long time.
I hope you and I can continue to have this, even after today. ”
Tears clouded my vision, and my throat grew painfully tight.
“I don’t want you to think I didn’t have a good time, because I did.
This was magical today. But I can’t lie and say it doesn’t still hurt to feel what I do between us, even now, and not be able to act on it.
I’d love to tell you that I can do this all the time and be fine, but I’d be lying.
I don’t know that I can trust myself not to get caught up like I did before.
I’m trying my best to move past it, but it hasn’t been easy. ”
Beau’s thumb stroked lightly over my knuckles.
“Tell me what I can do to help you, because I don’t want to not have you in my life.
I realize it’s not the way you want, and there’s nothing I wish for more than for things to be different for me, so I could give you that.
But it’s not different. All I know is that I would hate for today to end and never see you again. ”
A tear slid from my eye as I turned my head to look at him again. “I can’t just be some girl you sleep with. I won’t be that. As much as I like you, I deserve better than that.”
Hurt slashed through him. “I know you do.”
My eyes roamed over his handsome face. “So, what are you hoping to get out of me being in your life?”
“I don’t know. Your friendship, I think.”
“You think? Is this… is this something you do with all the women you spend time with?”
Beau hesitated. “I’ve never been impacted by not being around any woman the way I have with you. So, no, this isn’t something I’ve ever done with other women. And I said I think because this is a first for me, Jules. I’m trying to work through it.”
Layla’s words popped into my head. She believed that for someone to say they didn’t believe in love, they had to be deeply hurt.
Maybe Beau needed the grace and compassion for whatever he’d been through.
And if I could find a way to push past what I felt, I might be able to get Beau to realize that love did exist, and he was just as capable as anyone of not only giving it but receiving it, too.
Recognizing how much I enjoyed being around him, I was willing to give him that shot. So, I nodded slowly and squeezed his hand. “Okay. I can do that.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. I think we can try to be friends, if that’s something you’d like.”
A rush of air left his lungs as he looked up at the sky and brought his hand to rest at the center of his chest. His fingers continued to stroke my knuckles.
“You are easily the most incredible woman I’ve ever met, Jules.
And I’m not sure why it was you I walked up to that day at your bakery a few weeks ago, but I’m so glad it happened. ”
My belly clenched for a multitude of reasons. What he said was so incredibly sweet, but it broke my heart to know there was a man who felt like that about me and couldn’t bring himself to take a chance.
I rasped, “I’m glad I met you, too.”
There was a moment of tense silence between us, and I got the feeling Beau was really struggling with something. So, I decided to put my full effort into this friendship thing and be the one to break the ice.
“Alright, so can I expect you’re going to call me while you’re out traveling the country for two weeks?”
Laughter spilled out of him, and he eventually returned his attention to me. “Absolutely.”
I grinned at him.
He smiled back.
And while it wasn’t everything I hoped for, it was a small step in the right direction.