Chapter 15 Jules
JULES
“Oh, Ivy. Look at this.”
My sister snapped her head in my direction, and her expression melted. “That’s so sweet. But put it back. We’re not getting it.”
I groaned my frustration. “Are you sure you don’t want to find out whether you’re having a boy or a girl. Auntie Jules really wants to do some shopping.”
Ivy laughed. “Your arms are already full of things for Rosie, Lily, and Jack. Auntie Jules is getting plenty of shopping done.”
Technically, she wasn’t lying.
It was the first time in a long while that Ivy and I both had off from work, no Westwood family celebration to attend, and the desire to get out to spend time together.
For the past few months, Ivy hadn’t been feeling the best with the early part of her pregnancy—it had been wrought with nausea and morning sickness—so she did little more than anything that was absolutely necessary.
And now that we were at the mall for what felt like our first trip here in ages, I wanted to take full advantage. But it seemed my sister was going to make me stick to buying for the nieces and nephew I already had.
I took what I’d selected for the kids, crossed the store, and joined my sister at the very back, where she was looking at the gender-neutral newborn items. She was clutching one item in her hand.
“What did you find?” I asked.
She held up the outfit. “I was thinking about this for coming home from the hospital.”
“Ah, it’s so tiny. And adorable. I love it.”
“Me, too. Okay. This is it. This is all I’m getting.”
I cocked a brow. “Are you sure about that? Looks like you’ve got a few other items slung over your arm.”
Like she’d completely forgotten, Ivy looked down at her arm and sighed. “At this point, Marco and I intend to have the sex of this baby be a surprise, but I can’t deny that there’re so many adorable things here. Would it be wrong to pick up a few items and just keep them in case?”
Grinning at her, I shook my head. “Not at all. Besides, I’m sure you’ll have more than just one baby, so even if it won’t work for this one, it might for the next.”
“Good. But this is it. Nothing else. Because this isn’t what we came here for.” Her eyes slid to the entrance of the store. “After we walk out of here, you can’t let me make any additional stops until we do what we came here to do.”
I didn’t think Ivy was going to need me to keep her on track. The reality was that the biggest reason we’d made this trip to the mall was so that my sister could get herself some clothes, especially for work.
Ivy hadn’t gained a ton of weight yet with the pregnancy, and she wasn’t very big.
If anything, she was at the stage where it wasn’t quite so obvious that she was pregnant.
But her figure had changed a bit. And since she typically wore pencil skirts, form-fitting dresses, and tailored pants to work at The Westwood Hotel, her current attire mixed with her changing body left her feeling more and more uncomfortable.
So, she needed to pick up a few new pieces to get through the next couple of weeks and months.
“Deal.”
Ivy and I finished up in the store with all the best children’s clothing I’d ever seen, and we made our way through the mall to a few stores she liked getting her clothes from.
Ivy wasn’t quite at the point where she wanted maternity clothing, so she hoped she’d just be able to size up on some of her usual styles at her favorite stores and call it a day.
Nearly two hours later, my sister felt satisfied with her purchases, believing she had enough to hold her over for a while.
But neither of us was ready to be done. So, we strolled around the mall for a bit longer.
Ivy was content sitting in the dressing room, eating snacks she brought with her, while I tried on dresses I didn’t need.
It was like we’d transported ourselves to ten years ago, when life was so much simpler, and we’d spend our weekends shopping without all the responsibilities.
I loved it. And in the end, I ended up buying a new pair of sandals and a white summer dress that I had nowhere to wear just yet.
As we made our way to the exit, Ivy asked, “Do you want to grab dinner on the way home?”
I smiled. “I love that food is back on the menu for you.”
My sister giggled. “Oh, you have no idea. After feeling like I was going to vomit all the time and after nearly every meal for weeks, I’m taking full advantage of this newfound appetite.”
“And Marco won’t be upset if you have dinner without him?”
“Let’s be honest, I’ll probably eat again tonight.”
Laughter spilled out of me, and I linked my arm through hers. “Well, then let’s go feed this baby.”
Ivy and I decided on a restaurant that would be quick—she wasn’t interested in waiting long for food these days—and placed our orders almost immediately after being seated.
For a while, we talked about work and family and the newest additions to the Westwood clan.
But it wasn’t long before my sister shifted the conversation to a topic she clearly had been thinking about for weeks.
“So, how are you doing?” she asked.
“Me? I’m fine.”
Ivy shot me a look of disbelief. “I want to believe you, but that answer came out just a bit too quickly. I’m serious, Jules. I’ve been thinking about you ever since your birthday, when you shared what happened with you and that guy.”
“His name is Beau.”
“Right. Beau. Whatever. The point is, I’ve been worried.”
“Don’t be,” I insisted. “I’m okay. Really. It was a tough lesson, and it hurt for a bit, but I can’t do anything to change it.”
I could have easily told my sister that I was in contact with Beau again, that he’d come to see me at the bakery, taught me how to skateboard, and had been keeping in contact with me ever since he left about a week ago to go on his tour.
But the last thing I wanted to do was add any stress to her life.
She’d be worried about me more than she already was, and there was no reason to do that to her when there was no hope, at least at this point, of Beau and I ever becoming anything more than just friends.
Even if I still have reservations about how much older he is than you, I hope you know he was a fool to walk away from you.”
If only she knew he hadn’t completely walked away. I wondered what she might have said if I told her that he’d revealed he wanted my friendship, that he didn’t want me not to be in his life.
Nodding, I said, “The age difference didn’t feel so big to me.”
“Jules, he’s Wyatt’s age. That’s a pretty big gap between the two of you. Enough for Mom and Dad to have four kids in between when Wyatt got here and when you did.”
I shrugged. “Maybe when you look at the numbers. But when we were spending time with one another, I didn’t think much about it. We just got along so well, and I felt so good being around him.”
“I’m sorry it didn’t work out the way you hoped.”
“Me, too. I think we could’ve been great together, like you and Marco.”
She reached across the table and squeezed my hand. “You’ll find your guy. I’m certain of it.”
I wanted to believe that was true, didn’t want to feel completely hopeless. Smiling at her, I said, “I know. I just hope he’s planning to show up soon. I feel a bit lost.”
Concern leaked onto her features. “Why?”
Our server returned with our food before I could respond.
I waited until after she walked away and both Ivy and I had gotten in a few bites of our food.
“I’ve always known what’s coming next, Ivy.
For as long as I can remember, there’s been a direct path for me to follow.
I knew what I wanted, and I went after it.
It’s always worked out for me. I felt that same thing when I met Beau.
And I know it’s crazy, because I didn’t really know much about him, but I can’t explain the chemistry between us.
Anyway, I thought it was the right thing to be bold and do something about what felt so right.
I was so wrong about it, and now I’m just not sure what to do. ”
A sympathetic look washed over her. “I’m not sure anyone in this family has ever felt as sure of themselves as you about the direction of your life.
But where you are now is right where I was in those years when Wyatt had fallen in love with Rhea, Cooper with Skye, and Tate with Ava.
It was like there was love all around me, and I was the one who saw no possibility for happiness.
No potential. Then I got it. When I least expected it, when I was in the worst possible situation, love was waiting for me.
I know it’s easier said than done, especially now that I’m on this side of it, but I promise it’s out there for you.
And it’s going to be the best thing you’ve ever experienced when it happens.
Don’t stop trusting yourself because one guy took advantage of your courageous and beautiful heart. ”
She was right.
That was easier said than done.
The only courage I had these days was enough to put myself out there, night after night, dancing and flirting in hopes of finding someone I felt a spark with like I had with Beau.
“I’ll try to keep that in mind. Now, talk to me about anything else.”
Luckily, Ivy didn’t push the issue and was happy to switch the conversation. “This food is amazing. Here, try this.”
I laughed, grateful I had her, and enjoyed the rest of dinner with her.
Afterward, I drove her home, and when I pulled up outside her place, I said, “Great job today, Mama. I’m so proud of you for getting through such a long day without complaining.”