Chapter 15 Jules #2
“Well, this is the best I’ve felt. They weren’t lying when they said the second trimester really feels the best. To be honest, it’s only fair after enduring the torture of the first trimester.
The nausea kicked my butt, but the exhaustion was like nothing I had ever experienced.
I don’t think I’ll ever forget how tired it left me in the beginning, especially when it was the reason I finally determined something was off, even before I realized I missed my period.
Anyway, I’m happy to be right where I am.
And I’m going to enjoy every single second of the renewed energy I do have. ”
Ivy didn’t wait for me to respond as she got out of the car and opened the back door to grab her bags. And it was a good thing, because I wasn’t quite sure I’d be able to get any words out.
Because it hit me.
And it hit me hard.
The exhaustion. God, the exhaustion I’d been feeling for weeks now. I thought it was all about what had happened with Beau initially, which led to some late nights out.
But as soon as Ivy mentioned the exhaustion and the missed period, I realized I was late.
Weeks late.
“See you later, Jules.”
I swallowed past the terror that was building. “Later, Ivy. Give Marco my love.”
“I will.”
My sister closed the door and walked off. Once she was safely inside, I backed out of the driveway and raced to the nearest drugstore.
My heart was pounding, and my thoughts were racing.
There was a small part of me that was convinced this was merely just an overreaction. I had nothing to worry about, because I’d buy a test, and it would come back negative.
On that thought, I grabbed three different tests.
Fifteen minutes later, I was pacing in my bathroom, waiting for the results of two of those tests.
When I felt enough time had passed, I stopped pacing, inhaled deeply, and picked up the test.
Two pink lines.
Did that mean pregnant?
I picked up the second test.
Eight letters. Pregnant.
There was no confusion on that one.
I confirmed the two lines meant what I suspected, and the air rushed out of my lungs as I lowered myself to the floor in front of the bathtub.
Pregnant.
Pregnant.
Pregnant.
What was I going to do? How could this be happening?
Beau and I had sex only twice. Two times!
Everything about those two encounters came rushing back, and I realized it happened the second time. He’d gotten so caught up in it—we both did—and Beau hadn’t worn a condom.
I slapped my hand on my forehead and closed my eyes.
This was going to be a disaster. How was I going to tell him?
Five minutes passed.
Ten minutes.
Thirty minutes later, I was still sitting in the same spot with what felt like a thousand horrible thoughts running through my mind.
I was pregnant, and the man who’d made it so wasn’t even remotely interested in a romantic relationship. The chances of him being interested in being a father were even lower.
And now I had an entire week left before I could even tell him about it.
Because even if he’d been calling me nearly every night that he’d been away on this skate demo tour—me foolishly believing the long calls every night where part of the reason I was so tired—this was not the kind of thing I could tell him over the phone.
In a cruel twist of fate, my phone rang. My body jumped, startled by the only sound in my apartment.
I knew it was him, and I had to pretend that nothing was wrong.
“Hello?”
“Hey, you.” Beau’s voice was so upbeat, so excited.
“Hi.” I could barely manage a touch over a whisper.
“How’s it going? How was your day?”
There was such energy coming through the line, and all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball in my bed beneath my blankets and cry.
“It was… It was long.”
“Is everything okay?”
As quickly as I could blink, Beau seemed to sense something was wrong. I had to pull myself together.
“Yeah. Yeah, everything’s alright. I just… I was out with Ivy all day today and just got home. I’m pretty exhausted.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. You weren’t sleeping when I called, were you?”
I shook my head, tears welling in my eyes. “No. No, I was going to take a quick shower first.”
There was a long pause. “Are you sure everything is alright? Your voice sounds a little strained.”
I swallowed past the lump in my throat. “Probably too much talking.”
“That’s fair.”
“How was the demo?” I asked, desperate for anything to take the pressure off me.
“Great. There was a large crowd. The fans were incredible.”
“That’s great, Beau. It sounds like this work tour has been going well for you.”
He laughed. “It has. But I can’t really say that it feels like work. I’m skating, and I’m with a bunch of my friends, so it sort of feels like fun all the time.”
And when he got home, I was going to ruin it all. “I can understand that. It’s the same way for me when I bake.”
I had no clue how I was managing to have any reasonable conversation with him. My body was a mess of nerves, and I wondered if the sudden waves of nausea were the result of being pregnant or the worry about how Beau would respond when he learned we’d made a baby.
“Speaking of baking,” Beau declared. “We went out for dinner earlier tonight, and you know I had to get dessert. It was a chocolate cake, and the entire time I was eating it, all I could think about was you and your desserts. I’ve never had one of your cakes, but I don’t doubt they’d be just as delicious as everything else I’ve tried of yours. ”
I should’ve been happy.
I should’ve been ecstatic about the news that Beau was out with his buddies for dinner and thinking about me.
But I couldn’t be.
Because even if his words now indicated he liked me enough to admit that, I got the feeling his actions a week from now would reveal he felt the very opposite.
“Maybe I can make you a chocolate cake one of these days for you to try.”
He groaned. “You know I’m never going to turn down a single one of your desserts.”
“You know, I don’t just make cookies, cakes, and brownies. I also make breads and croissants and other hearty baked goods.”
Another groan. “Don’t tempt me with that. I might become a permanent fixture at the table outside your bakery.”
I closed my eyes and sighed, my emotions taking over. I could only hope that would be true, but I knew it was foolish to dream.
When I didn’t respond, Beau called, “Jules?”
“Yeah?”
“You didn’t say anything.”
“Sorry. I’m just so tired.”
“Oh. Well, I can let you go, so you can shower and get to bed. We can talk tomorrow.”
If I hadn’t learned what I had tonight, I would have pushed through the exhaustion. Tonight, I needed time to clear my head and allow the news to digest.
“Are you sure you don’t mind?”
“Not at all.”
“Thanks.”
“None needed. You have a good night, Jules. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
“Goodnight, Beau.”
“Goodnight.”
We disconnected the call, and I’d barely dropped the phone to the ground beside me before I burst into tears.