Chapter 16 Beau
BEAU
“Alright, babe. We’re almost back, so I’ll see you soon.”
Talon ended his call with his girlfriend and shoved his phone back into his pocket. Unsurprisingly, Vic didn’t waste a minute in giving him shit about it. “I don’t know how you do it, man. After all the chaos of the last two weeks, you have to visit the girlfriend.”
Talon just shook his head in disappointment. “You should try it sometime, Vic. You’d be surprised how much your life changes for the better.”
“I’m not sure I’m buying that. All I want to do right now is go home and relax for a while.”
“Listen, after two weeks of being away and on the road for these demos, there’s absolutely nothing better than having someone to come home to, someone to relax with. I promise, if you find the right girl, she’ll take away any stress you think you might have.”
Vic opened his mouth to respond, but I couldn’t bring myself to pay attention to anything beyond what Talon had just said.
I never thought I’d see the day, but I understood where Talon was coming from. I hadn’t ever experienced it before now, before Jules. There was something about her that had me in a chokehold, and I could admit that I, too, was glad to finally be going home.
Maybe I wasn’t as fortunate as Talon just yet. He’d certainly been smarter than me when it came to this. But I was hoping I could get there.
After having things go sour between Jules and me weeks ago and finally finding our way to some semblance of a friendship, I had to leave.
The last two weeks, even if fun and engaging and fulfilling when it came to skating, had been much more difficult than I would have imagined, given what I’d been telling myself about what I wanted when it came to Jules.
Evidently, I didn’t know what it was that I actually wanted.
I hadn’t made any official plans with Jules, but as soon as I got home, I planned to call her. And the minute I was standing in front of her, I had things I wanted to say to her. Because this time away from her, feeling the way I did, was something I couldn’t ignore.
She needed to know. Deserved to know. And I prayed she’d be willing to extend me some grace I didn’t necessarily deserve or earn so that I could try to do this with her the right way.
Of course, with zero experience, I was convinced I’d do it all wrong. But I wanted to figure out how to do it right for her. It was crazy to me that I was even having that thought. It seemed impossible for one woman to have such a hold on me the way that Jules did.
“What about you, Beau? You’re awfully quiet for someone who’s normally on my side with this.”
Vic’s voice finally penetrated my thoughts, and I blinked away the visions of Jules. “What?”
“You get what I’m saying, don’t you?” Vic asked. “There’s nothing like having the freedom to come and go as you please without having to answer to anyone.”
I stared at him for several silent seconds, and that silence was enough for Jamie to cut in. “Beau’s had a bit of a change of heart.”
Talon blinked in surprise. “What?”
After two weeks of traveling in this passenger van, I was ready to say that I’d had enough time of being around these guys. They might have been my best friends, but now that the attention was on me, I would have appreciated a bit of distance.
“Is Jamie being serious, Beau?” Vic pressed.
I opened my mouth to respond and wasn’t quite sure what to say, so I pressed my lips together and let out a breath.
“It’s the Westwood girl,” Jamie shared.
“What Westwood girl?”
Before Jamie could reveal any additional information about my personal life, I decided to speak up. “It’s Jules. Jules Westwood. She’s the girl I met at the bakery the day we went there.”
Vic seemed horrified by the news. “I thought she was just supposed to be a good time.”
I shrugged. “It started that way, and things changed for me.”
“So, you worked it out?” Jamie questioned me, his brows shooting up in surprise.
Talon was wearing a proud look, but he asked, “Worked what out?”
Holding my hands up in surrender, I said, “A lot has happened.” I went on to tell the guys about how things had gone down with Jules and where things had gotten to just before I left to do this demo tour with them.
I ended, “At this point, I’m looking forward to getting back, because I want to talk to her and see if she wants to give it another shot. ”
“That’s great, man. I’m really happy for you.”
I expected nothing less from Talon. “Thanks, but I still need to discuss all of this with her, so don’t go celebrating just yet.”
“I never thought I would’ve seen the day,” Vic muttered.
“You and me both,” I huffed. Even if I realized that this was something I needed to explore, there was still a big part of me that was terrified about it, that wasn’t sure it was the wisest idea.
It felt like I was about to jump into the deep end of the pool without knowing how to swim. But for the promise of Jules, strangely, I wasn’t afraid of drowning.
The van dropped us off at Jamie’s place, where we’d all met up the day we left. Having spent the last two weeks with one another, none of us were interested in hanging around. We said a quick round of goodbyes, and before I knew it, I was on my way home.
My plan was to get back, grab a shower, and call Jules. I’d called her just about every night that I was away, and she knew I was coming home today. I wondered if she’d expect my call. With any luck, she’d be free tonight, and I’d be able to convince her to get together.
The trembling in my stomach was such a strange feeling. I hadn’t ever felt a level of nerves and anticipation and excitement about anything since the earlier days of my skateboarding career when I was competing in contests regularly.
Just as I pulled into my driveway and hit the button on the garage door opener, I noticed a car was already parked by the house.
It was her car, but Jules wasn’t inside it.
Confused, my brows pulled together, and I turned toward the garage. As I did, something caught my eye in the backyard.
Laying on her back in the middle of the trampoline while looking up at the sky was Jules.
She was here, waiting for me.
Could this have worked out any better?
My lips curved into a smile, and those nerves in my stomach only intensified. I turned off the car, and with a pounding heart, I forgot about everything else in the vehicle and made my way to the backyard.
The huge smile was still on my face as I made that final approach, a wave of immense contentment at the sight of her washing over me. It was that feeling of peace that led me to believe this was precisely the right move.
“Do you have some superpower I don’t know about?”
“Superpower?”
She’d said one word, but the sound of her voice was like music to my ears.
“I wasn’t expecting you here, but I’m glad you are, because you and I have something to talk about.”
In a flash, Jules sat up and brought her horrified gaze to meet mine. “What?”
My lips twitched. God, she was beautiful.
I climbed onto the trampoline and sat down. “You and I need to talk.”
Jules’ entire body had gone rigid. The only movement was the rapid rise and fall of her chest, like she was terrified I was about to deliver the worst news of her life. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing at all.” I moved close and reached for her hand. Part of it was the need I felt to touch her, but the bigger part of it was to offer her some reassurance. “I promise this isn’t bad.”
All that I’d said and done to ease her concerns didn’t appear to be helping. Jules was just as doubtful, caution and worry lingering in those beautiful blue eyes.
I offered a smile and a gentle squeeze on her hand. “I don’t think I’m doing a very good job of reassuring you, so I’m just going to come right out with it, if that’s okay.”
“Please,” she begged, her voice a touch above a whisper and filled with desperation.
I had to look away for a moment, because for a moment, my confidence wavered. What if she didn’t want this anymore? What if I’d ruined my only chance to have her?
Returning my attention to her face, noting the questions there, I said, “I missed you these two weeks, Jules. I’m so glad you’re here.”
“That’s what you wanted to tell me?”
I laughed and shook my head. “No. No, that’s not it.” My thumb stroked along her knuckles. “I… Well, I’m not really sure how to say this, but I’ve taken a lot of time to think over the last two weeks while I’ve been away.”
Evidently, that was the wrong thing to say, because Jules grew even more anxious. Her shoulders lifted toward her ears, her expression even more uneasy. “And?”
“I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you,” I revealed. “Actually, I think it’d be more accurate to say I haven’t stopped thinking about us.”
Her lips parted in surprise. “What do you mean?”
My eyes roamed over every perfect feature of her face. Those eyes and that beautiful mouth. Her adorable nose and flawless skin. Every part of her was perfect.
Talon had made a great point. Every word he said was true. Because after being away for two whole weeks without her, coming home to find Jules here just felt right. Like she was who I’d needed here all along.
“I know I said some things to you a few weeks ago that indicated I felt differently, but somewhere along the line, things changed for me. I can’t ignore the way I feel, Jules. And I want you.”
Her eyes rounded. I waited, believing and hoping she was going to break out in a full-fledged grin or perhaps start jumping up and down on the trampoline. If anything, she seemed even more troubled. “I… I… You… What?”
“I want you, Jules. I want to be with you.” I swore I could feel her trembling beside me, but I had to get it all out.
Now that I’d started, I didn’t want to risk stopping and forgetting to say anything.
“I’ve never done this before. I’ve never wanted to do this before.
But there’s something about you that I just can’t let go of, something I don’t want to walk away from.
And if you decide to give me—to give us—this chance, I’ll warn you now that I’m probably going to make a shit ton of mistakes.
And I’m going to ask you for grace and understanding and compassion, because I might screw up, but I promise I want to do things right.
You may need to help me through this the same way you helped me make those cookies.
I don’t know how to be in a relationship, Jules, but I want to try to figure it out with you. ”
Tears filled her eyes, and I sensed her trembling even harder beside me.
This wasn’t exactly the reaction I’d expected, but perhaps this was part of it, part of learning about the woman I hadn’t been able to get off my mind for weeks now.
I’d seen how she reacted when she was hurt—she’d been strong enough to put me in my place and kick me out of her apartment—so I knew that this wasn’t sadness.
Perhaps she was just in shock that I’d finally come around after telling her I couldn’t give her what she wanted.
Or was it worse than that? She’d gone out before.
Was it possible she’d met someone? Is that why she was waiting here when I returned?
If she was here to tell me that she’d started dating someone and couldn’t continue to have any sort of relationship, not even a friendship, with me, I wasn’t sure what I’d do.
“Beau, I… Where did this come from?”
Well, at least she hadn’t said the worst yet. Maybe she was just being cautious and looking for more clarification, because she didn’t want to wind up hurt again.
“Truthfully, I think it’s always been there,” I confessed.
“The problem was that I didn’t understand it until I was away from you these last two weeks.
I know it probably seems a bit surreal or hasty, but I swear I wouldn’t be saying this to you if it were untrue.
I wouldn’t ever toy with your emotions like that again.
The entire time I was gone, no matter what city or what I was doing, you were always on my mind.
The highlight of every day for me was when I got to talk to you before bed.
And then I’d struggle to fall asleep, because I’d replay our conversations or think about how I wanted to come back here to tell you how things changed for me.
I’d imagine what things could be like between us, and all of it was phenomenal. ”
Jules swiped at a rogue tear that had escaped and rolled down her cheek.
“You have no idea how many weeks I spent wondering why you would give up a chance at happiness, especially if you felt even half of the chemistry between us that I did. And now you’re here, telling me all of this, and it’s all I’ve wanted to hear from the beginning. ”
I took both of her hands in mine and turned fully to face her. “I know it’s late. I know I hurt you before. But I’m here now, and I’m promising to try to be better. I just need you to give me that chance. Please.”
Until I was sitting here in front of her, I hadn’t imagined the possibility of this not going the way I’d hoped. In my mind, this was what Jules had wanted from the beginning, so there’d be no chance she’d turn me down. But perhaps I’d been far too confident.
She inhaled deeply and blew out a long breath. “Beau, there’s nothing I want more than to say yes to us having this chance. But I have to be honest with you.”
“Of course. You can tell me anything.”
Jules swallowed roughly, such uneasiness marring her features. “You say you want me and that you want to be with me, but you might change your mind after I tell you why I was here waiting for you when you got back today.”
Suddenly, it was my turn to grow alarmed. I kept her hands in mine, but I pulled my head back and eyed her curiously. I had assumed she was here because she knew I was coming home today, and she wanted to surprise me.
But now that I thought about it, I recalled the conversation we’d had last night. She’d asked what time I expected I’d be home today. It seemed casual enough yesterday, but now I wasn’t so sure.
What could she possibly tell me that would make me change my mind about being with her?
Confused as ever, feeling like I was on the edge of my seat, I asked, “Well, what is it?”
She hesitated. One, two, three beats.
Then Jules parted her lips and spoke, turning my world upside down as she did.
“I’m pregnant.”