Rebel Hearts

18. Nolan

18

NOLAN

B lood sang in my ears as I stepped into Aiden’s bedroom. My heart pounded. Tanner was standing way too close to Aiden, for one thing, and for another, Tanner existing was enough to enrage me on its own.

I’d come to apologize to Aiden. To beg his forgiveness. To tell him I loved him, and to try to make up for some of what I’d done.

I hadn’t expected to see Tanner at all. Hadn’t given him a second thought. But finding him here, now?

“Fuck. You.” I walked towards him slowly.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he blustered.

“Like hell you don’t. I heard you. We all heard you.”

He looked wary. “We all?”

I glanced over my shoulder as Tate stepped in from the hallway, followed by Em, hoisting a video camera. Then I smiled at Tanner. It wasn’t a nice smile.

“I never—you misinterpreted me,” Tanner backtracked.

He did it literally, too, backing away from Aiden and me. I heaved an internal sigh of relief. I didn’t want him anywhere near Aiden, and it was probably a good thing he was farther away from me too, since I was at my boiling point.

“Really? Because I’m pretty sure you just admitted to harassing Aiden online, deliberately exposing his account, trying to use your position as a judge to get him to sleep with you, and—oh, yeah—attempting to drug him.” I pinned him with my gaze, disgusted. “Has no one ever told you no before?”

“Come on,” Tanner said. “You’re making this into a much bigger deal than it needs to be. It’s not like he was going to win anyway. Neither of you was supposed to last this long.”

“That doesn’t affect laws of consent,” I snapped.

What an utter slimeball. Did he actually believe what he was spewing, or was he just saying whatever he could think of that might get him out of this situation?

“He wanted it,” Tanner protested.

Before I knew what I was doing, I was advancing on him again. He backed up farther, right up to the window, looking genuinely scared.

“People have to be conscious to tell you they want things,” I yelled.

Then I punched him in the face.

It happened so fast, it took me a second to register what I’d done. One second, I was yelling, the next, Tanner was on the floor and my hand hurt. I flexed my fingers—I’d never done that before. I thought it might hurt more than that time I’d punched a wall, but it was worth it.

On the floor, Tanner brought his hands to his nose. He pulled one away and looked at it in disbelief. It was red, and a trickle of blood ran down from one nostril. I wondered if he’d never been punched before either.

For a second, I started to feel bad about what I’d done. Violence is not the answer and all that. But then I thought about everything— everything —Tanner had done.

Digging through my past. Violating Aiden’s privacy. Using it all for entertainment fodder. Playing God over who got to stay or go. Trying to coerce Aiden into sleeping with him, and then trying to drug him when coercion failed.

“People tell you when they want things,” I growled. “If someone says no, you listen. You don’t try to roofie them so they can’t—”

I broke off, too mad to speak, and pulled my fist back again as Tanner crab-walked away on the floor. Then I felt a hand on my wrist and looked over to see Aiden by my side. I was shaking with anger, but seeing him froze me in place.

“It’s okay,” Aiden said. His eyes were a wide and wondrous blue. I wanted to drown in them.

“It’s not ,” I said. “None of what happened to you is okay, none of this is—”

“I know, I know.” Aiden put his other hand on my shoulder. His fingertips brushed my neck. I didn’t think it was intentional, but my breath hitched. “I know what he did isn’t okay. But I don’t want you to get in trouble for beating him to a pulp, satisfying as it would be to see. I think, when you calm down, you’ll probably agree.”

“ He needs to know,” I said, desperation creeping into my voice. “He needs to know what he did is fucked up. He needs to know—needs to know he can’t just do that.” I trembled with rage. I wanted to wrap my hands around Tanner’s throat. “There have to be consequences.”

“And there will be.” Aiden nodded towards Em, who stood in the corner, still filming all of this. “But they shouldn’t come from your fists.” He squeezed my shoulder. “He’s not worth it.”

I looked at him for a long moment, caught between my desire to break something and my desire to take Aiden in my arms and hold him, just hold him, until everything else faded away. Finally, I nodded and let my hand fall.

Tanner, who’d been watching our exchange silently, eyes glittering with malice, waited until I’d started to turn around before he pushed up off the ground, lunging for me.

“Hey! Hey!” Aiden yelled, getting in between the two of us. Tate followed immediately, putting his hands on Tanner and forcing him back. I heard thumps out in the hallway and turned to see someone else at the entrance to the room. Two someone-elses.

“Everything okay in here?” Deacon asked. His large frame took up much of the doorway. Mal, standing next to him, took up the rest.

They didn’t do anything other than stand there, looking mildly concerned, but evidently, six against one weren’t odds Tanner was willing to bet on. He stepped away from Tate, lifting his hands up and straightening the collar of his shirt. Then, with a final glare, he pushed his way past Deacon and Mal.

Em heaved a sigh of relief as Tanner’s footsteps faded down the hall. He tilted his head around the camera, still filming, and gave me a questioning look.

“Is that why you wanted us to come with you?” he asked. “Did you know he was going to confess all that, or try to start a fight?”

I shook my head. Technically, I’d been the one who’d started the fight. Physically, at least. But I hadn’t expected any of that.

My head was still spinning, my body vibrating with unspent energy and nerves from the confrontation. It was hard to pull my thoughts together. But then I looked down at Aiden and calm swept through me.

When had that started? When did Aiden go from being the person who drove me crazy to the person who brought me back to center? The person who made me feel like me ?

“No,” I said to Em. “No, not at all.”

“Then why—”

“Because I thought, after the way things went this morning, maybe if we filmed this, it could help to balance out whatever the show decided to air. That we could put it online or something.” I ran a hand through my hair. “I don’t think they can air the stuff from this morning anymore. Not with everything Tanner just admitted to. I don’t even think they can finish the show, with the way things stand. But, well, since you’re here…” I turned back to Aiden. “Grand gesture time.”

His brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”

“Aiden, I fucked up. So badly. I hurt you, and I pushed you away, and I was too scared to trust you. I did all the things you called me out for doing, and I didn’t even have the courage to admit it.”

I took his hands in mine. “But I don’t want to live like that anymore. Letting fear decide what I do, instead of deciding for myself. I don’t want to be so afraid of getting hurt that I don’t let myself feel anything at all. And I am so sick of pretending that I don’t feel anything for you, because I do. Aiden, I love you.”

“You…love me?”

“Completely and utterly and totally. I’m every cliche in the book. Head-over-heels, crazily, stupidly in love with you. And I understand if you hate me and never want to see me again. I understand if you can’t forgive me for the things I said, but—”

“Shut up,” Aiden interrupted.

I blinked. Shit. That was…not what I was hoping he’d say. I hadn’t even gotten everything out that I’d wanted to. I sighed.

“I—okay. I understand. I just wanted to say my piece, but I can go, I can—”

“Just shut up,” Aiden repeated.

He tugged my hands, pulling me off-balance. I stumbled forward, and his lips hit mine.

My eyes flew open in surprise as our lips pressed together. Aiden slid his hands out of my grasp and wrapped them around my neck instead, pulling me down to deepen the kiss. I slipped mine around his waist, my body moving of its own accord because my brain was still trying to catch up with what was happening.

When Aiden finally pulled away and stepped back, he was grinning.

“I love you too, you idiot.”

“You—you do?” I stammered.

His grin got even wider. “I do. Now shut up and kiss me for real this time.”

He pulled my face down to his, his lips parting, inviting me inside. Our tongues tangled, velvet smooth. I was suddenly very glad I had Aiden to hold onto, because I felt like my knees might buckle any second.

Deacon wolf-whistled somewhere behind us and Mal clapped.

“Finally,” Tate said, sounding satisfied.

Em laughed. “I’d say that’s a wrap.”

I stopped listening. Stopped thinking entirely. All I could pay attention to was Aiden’s taste on my tongue, his scent in my nostrils, his body in my arms.

That was all that mattered.

“Wow,” Aiden said, closing the door half an hour later. “I thought they’d never leave.”

Em and Tate had stayed to talk about what to do with the footage Em had recorded. We’d decided the first step was for him to take it to his studio back home and make backups, before Tanner could try to demand that he erase everything.

Then, he’d find Nora, and they’d talk to the other executive producers. There was no way the show could proceed as planned anymore. But I didn’t care about those details right now. All I cared about was making sure Aiden was okay.

Deacon and Mal had stuck around a little longer, just to make sure that Tanner wasn’t coming back, and to ask if we needed anything else. Deacon had seemed content to let it go after we’d said no, but Mal had lingered. I was pretty sure he was enjoying the chance to tease me about finally pulling my head out of my ass.

“In fairness,” I said, “I did punch one of their guests in the face. Even if he is a terrible human being. I think they wanted to make sure they weren’t about to get sued.”

“If anyone’s getting sued, it’s Tanner,” Aiden said darkly. He looked as angry as I’d felt a little bit ago. “I can’t believe he—fuck. Everything he did was so messed up. My brother warned me about him, but somehow, I didn’t realize he was quite that sociopathic.”

“Your brother?” I asked, confused.

“It’s a long story,” Aiden said. “I’ll let him tell you sometime. Suffice it to say, Tanner has a history of being the worst. I just didn’t know how bad it could get.”

“Hey, ” I said, sitting down on the edge of his bed and beckoning him closer. “Come here.”

I moved my legs apart so he could stand between them, then took his hands again. His cheeks were flushed, his nostrils flared, and he’d never looked more beautiful.

“Have I told you how sorry I am?” I asked, drinking in his face.

Aiden cracked a smile. “Yes. In fact, you’ve told me multiple times, hard as that is to believe.”

“Well, let me tell you once more. Because I am really, seriously, so completely—”

“Don’t.” He pulled a hand free and laid a finger across my lips. “Really. Don’t. I’m the one who’s sorry. I should have known Tanner was up to something. He’s hit on me a few times before, but I just dismissed it. I should have known he couldn’t be trusted, should have realized—I mean, I talked to him, the night of the festival. He cornered me after I’d gotten our drinks, and it still didn’t occur to me that it could have been him. And I should have realized he was the one sending those messages. If I had, and if I’d reported him, maybe this whole thing could have been avoided. It’s my fault.”

“It’s not .” I looked at him seriously. “Don’t you remember what you told me? The lesson you take from someone being an asshole isn’t that you should have been more careful. The lesson is that the other person is an asshole. Tanner is the one at fault here. Not you.”

“But you said it yourself. I wasn’t being careful enough. I didn’t even report it. I was basically asking for him to—”

“Hey, hey.” I tugged the hand I was still holding. “I was wrong when I said that. I was angry, and hurt, and—fuck. Aiden, I was scared. The things I said to you were unforgivable. He was abusing your trust. That wasn’t your fault.”

“Well, it wasn’t your fault that you were freaked out,” Aiden said. “I was pushing you, and not respecting your boundaries. To be honest, I was kind of trying to make you mad, at the end there. When I said you were jealous, I just meant—I don’t even know. I think I wanted you to be jealous. Because then, at least, that would have meant that you felt something for me.”

“I did feel something,” I told him. “I felt—I feel—a lot of things for you. But jealousy actually wasn’t one of them. And if your CamFans account makes you happy, that’s what matters. You should keep it. Don’t stop it because of me.”

“It doesn’t bother you?” he asked.

“It shouldn’t matter if it does or not. But no, it really doesn’t.” I bit my lip. “Actually, I’m a little embarrassed to admit this, but I think it’s kinda hot.”

“Really?”

I could feel my face flushing. “My boyfriend is so sexy that people pay for the privilege of seeing him naked? But I’m the one who gets to wake up next to him? Uh, yeah. That’s kind of the ultimate fantasy.”

Aiden’s eyes went wide. “Boyfriend?”

“Oh.” My cheeks had to be bright red by now. “I just meant, like, you know, as a figure of speech. I didn’t mean that you—like, I wasn’t assuming that you would—”

“Nolan?”

“Yeah?”

“You can say boyfriend.” He grinned. “I like it.”

“Really?”

Aiden nodded. “Really. Though I feel like I should give you the option to retract it in a few days. I don’t have much of a functional dating history. I might be a terrible boyfriend.”

“You and me both. I have no idea how relationships work, really. I’ve never felt compelled to try one. But with you—” I broke off and looked up at him. “I can’t imagine my life without you in it. It just doesn’t make sense anymore.”

“Good,” he said. “Because you’re going to have a hard time getting rid of me.”

I laughed and wrapped my arms around his waist, pulling him close. I lay my face against his torso, and his T-shirt wrinkled under my cheek. It was the same lavender one that he’d been wearing the day we met on the ferry.

I wished I could go back in time and tell myself not to be such an idiot. Tell myself that I was about to meet someone who would change my life, who would make it feel like a life again, and not just something I was slogging through. I should have stepped into that bathroom, closed the door, and sunk to my knees.

I turned and pressed my nose into his stomach, inhaling deeply. It had only been a few days, but I’d missed the way he smelled, like citrus and sunshine, and underneath it, something all him.

“Keep that up and you’re going to make something else hard,” Aiden said. A laugh rumbled through my chest.

“Oh yeah?” I slid his shirt up with one hand and pressed a kiss to the strip of skin I’d just exposed.

Aiden sucked in a sharp breath. “Fuck.”

“I’ll take that as a challenge,” I said, kissing him again. I flicked my tongue into his belly button, and he convulsed with laughter. His arm jerked reflexively and his elbow glanced off my forehead.

“Oof.” I gave him an injured look. “You weren’t kidding about that being hard.”

He giggled. “Believe it or not, that’s actually not the appendage I was talking about.”

“Fascinating,” I murmured, unzipping his fly. I slid his pants down, kissing the waistband of his briefs. “Sounds like I have some more investigating to do. For science.”

“You’re the smart one,” Aiden said wryly. “Far be it from me to stop you.”

“Hey,” I said sharply, looking him in the eye. “You watch your mouth. That’s my boyfriend you’re talking about.”

He rolled his eyes. “You know what I mean.”

“I don’t ,” I said. “Because my boyfriend is smart.” I stroked a hand across his cock, still trapped in his briefs but pressing hard against the fabric. “And funny.” I ran my finger around the head of his cock, and he gasped. “And clever.” Another stroke. “And kind.” Another. “And passionate.”

His hips were shaking now, and I leaned in and dragged my mouth along his cock, leaving the fabric wet. He moaned appreciatively. I hooked my fingers underneath his briefs and pulled them off his hips, then down to the ground, in one smooth motion.

Aiden stepped out of his clothes and kicked them to the side. I wrapped a hand around his cock and stroked it, then let my lips spread around the tip, slowly taking it into my mouth. His skin was salty and just a little tangy where precum beaded at his slit. I breathed deep and slid down farther, taking as much of him in as I could in one go.

His fingers kneaded the back of my neck as I bobbed up and down, sucking in tight, licking the underside of his shaft, making my mouth as wet and slippery as possible. He whimpered and let a soft stream of curses fall from his lips, widening his stance ever so slightly.

I wondered if he was even aware of it, the way he was inviting me deeper inside him. I wanted that. But there was something else I wanted first.

“Aiden?” I murmured, pulling off his cock and kissing his hip bone.

“Yeah?”

“How do you feel about rimming?”

“How do I—” His eyes flashed wide. “Wait, really?”

I nodded. “Yeah. Receiving, that is.”

He bit his lip. “I’ve never actually—no one’s ever done that to me before.”

“Because you don’t want them to?” I asked. “Because I don’t want to push you to do something you’re not—”

“No, no.” He shook his head. “It’s not that. It’s just…no one’s offered, I guess. You’re sure you don’t mind?”

“I’ve wanted to eat your ass since the first time we hooked up,” I told him. “Since the first time I felt you close around my finger. Felt how hot and tight you are.”

Aiden flushed. “Really?”

“Every time you made a joke about cracks and fillings, it was like you were torturing me personally. If anything, you owe me for the psychological damage you inflicted. Making me wonder how you’d taste all these weeks, convinced that I’d never get to find out.”

“You really shouldn’t tell me these things, you know.” He grinned. “Because I’m just going to use them to tease you even more.”

“Then you’re just going to keep building up that debt.” I stroked a finger back to his hole and pressed lightly. “Now, come on. On your stomach. Time to start working it off.”

Aiden, of course, made a production out of it. He insisted on getting naked, and on getting me undressed, too. Then he teased and tickled me until I pinned him to the mattress, rolled him over onto his stomach, and caught one of his arms, bringing it behind his back.

“Are you seriously going to make me hold your arms back here just to keep you still?” I asked.

“Why?” he asked, still laughing. “You gonna punish me?”

“You really are letting those videos go to your head.”

“You’re the one who said they were hot.”

“I said the idea of your account was hot. I haven’t actually seen any of the videos,” I pointed out. I grabbed his other hand and gently guided it behind his back. “Think I’m gonna have to fix that, soon.”

“Oh, I’d say you’ve already got the gist.” Aiden wiggled his hips, then looked over his shoulder, his voice breathy. “Are you going to discipline me for being naughty? Show me who’s really in charge?”

I knew he was just joking, but fuck, that did something to me. That voice, that look. I was already hard, but my cock throbbed at those words.

“I’m going to show you just how good I can make you feel,” I said. “But only if you’re on your best behavior.”

“Ooh, kinky.” He waggled his eyebrows. “Go on. Tell me what to do. Boss me around.”

I moved between his legs, then took his hands and made him grip his ass, spreading his cheeks wide.

“Hold yourself open for me,” I said. “Show me that pretty little hole.”

“Fuck,” Aiden whispered. He did as he was told, pulling his cheeks apart so I could get a good look.

I brought my thumb to my mouth and licked it, then pressed it to his hole. It was soft and pink and tight. I wasn’t pushing hard, but Aiden whimpered as I slid the tip inside.

“We’ve gotta open you up,” I told him. “Get you nice and relaxed for when I fuck you.”

He whined again and spread his ass even farther. “Please.”

I took it slow, kissing his lower back, his thighs, his ass cheeks while he shook and moaned beneath me. He trembled as I moved inward, and was practically vibrating by the time I brought my lips to his hole and kissed it deeply.

He groaned, low and desperate, as I began to lick, first long stripes, then swirls and circles, changing direction and using different parts of my tongue, different amounts of pressure, to ease him open. I used as much spit as I could, and loved the way he began to roll his hips, digging his cock into the mattress, then bucking upwards like he was trying to push my tongue inside him.

For someone who’d never been rimmed before, he was definitely enjoying himself. And I was happy to oblige, slipping my tongue into him. He was still tight, but relaxing under my attentions. Slowly, I eased him open, penetrating him farther, his muscles giving in to the pressure from my tongue.

Everything about him was perfect, from the way he tasted, to the way he smelled, to the sounds he made as he moaned underneath me.

“Fuck,” he groaned. “Fuck, Nolan, I’m gonna come if you keep that up.”

“Oh, no, we can’t have that.” I pulled back with a sigh. I could have eaten his ass for hours. For days. “You haven’t earned that yet.” I smacked him lightly on one ass cheek. “Go get your lube.”

Aiden laughed and looked over his shoulder. “Yes, sir.”

He gave a little salute, then scrambled across the bed to open the nightstand drawer where he kept the bottle. He brought it back to me, placing it in my hand before lying back against the pillows, batting his eyelashes. “Fill me up. Make me yours”

“Uh-uh.” I shook my head. “You’re not getting off that easy. You’re gonna have to work for it.”

I tossed the bottle back to him. “Finger yourself. I want to watch you get yourself ready for me.”

He gasped and bit his lip. A flush crept up his neck as he picked up the bottle and squeezed a dollop of lube onto one finger.

“That’s it.” I stroked my cock. “Now put it inside you.”

The flush in his neck spread up to his cheeks as he pushed his finger into his hole, working it in and out. His hips started rocking, and he closed his eyes, his face going blissful and dreamy.

“Now another one.” My voice was deep and sure. I almost didn’t recognize it.

It was so hot, seeing Aiden take direction. He slid a second finger in next to the first, fucking them in and out of his hole, and whined a little. I couldn’t even wait a full minute before I asked him to add a third.

He pulled his fingers out and added more lube to his hand before bringing them back. His eyes started to close in anticipation as the tip of his middle finger touched his hole.

“Look at me,” I whispered, and his eyes snapped open. “Look at me while you touch yourself.”

His cheeks were crimson, but he did as I asked, his eyes never leaving mine as he pushed all three fingers inside himself.

“Fuck,” he breathed as they went in. “Fuck, it feels so good.”

He worked them in and out, his ass shifting up and down, driving them deeper, which gave me an idea. I waited another minute, until I was pretty sure he’d opened up enough to take me.

“Now stop,” I told him. “Slide your fingers out.”

He did, smiling impishly. “You gonna fuck me finally? Give me what I need?”

“No,” I said, returning his smile. “No, you’re going to fuck yourself.”

His brow furrowed. “I don’t—”

“Turn around,” I said. “Hands and knees.”

I helped him up and moved into position behind him. His hole looked so soft and inviting, the pink outer ring parting just enough to show a hint of the deeper red inside.

“You’re going to fuck yourself on my cock,” I said softly. “You’re going to show me how bad you want it. You’re gonna get me off. And you’re not going to come until you do.”

Aiden gasped again—I was never going to get tired of hearing that—and looked over his shoulder, his lips parted in surprise. I slicked my cock up and brought the tip to his entrance.

“Whenever you’re ready,” I said. “Just push back and take it as slow as you need to.”

Aiden nodded and slowly, so excruciatingly, deliciously slowly, pushed back onto my cock. His hole spread and stretched around the head, opening up to take me inside. He was soft and warm and, despite all the work he’d done to prep himself, perfectly tight.

It was agonizing, not being in control, not being the one to set the pace. But as much I ached to grab him by the hips and push all the way in, I restrained myself. Asking Aiden to take what I wanted to give him would be hot, but making him do the work—making him show me how badly he wanted it? Ten thousand times hotter.

He pushed back farther, taking more and more of me inside, until I was pressed up against his ass, my entire length nestled in his hole.

“Fuck, you’re so big,” he groaned, looking back at me.

“Tell me how it feels.”

“Full,” he panted, pulling off my cock half an inch, then pushing back onto it. “So fucking full. And hot. And hard. I can feel every inch of you inside me. Stretching me out.”

He pulled forward again, rolling his hips as he slid off my cock, then back onto it. “I love the way you fill me up and give me what I need.”

“Show me.” I reached a hand forward, bringing my fingertips to his chin. I tilted his head up, making him look me in the eye. “Can you do that? Can you show me how much you like it?”

Aiden nodded and whimpered, “Fuck, yes.”

And he did. He put his whole body into it, sliding on and off my cock. He was incredible, squeezing his muscles as he pulled off as though he didn’t want me to leave, then relaxing as he slid back on, welcoming me deeper into his body.

The view was unbelievable. His hole glided and slid along my shaft, stretching wider as he pulled off, the head of my cock almost popping out before he pushed onto it again. He panted underneath me, his body coated in a thin sheen of sweat.

Even though I was holding myself still, fighting the urge to thrust forward and fuck him hard, I was sweating too. As much as I wanted to draw this out, as much as I could have watched his hole work my cock forever, there was no way I was going to last much longer.

“Please,” Aiden begged, “please, give it to me.”

“You want it?” I said, unable to stop my hips from thrusting forward just a bit. “You want that load?”

“God, yes. Please. Fill me up.”

“I’m so close.” I put my hand on his lower back, running my palm along the curve of his spine, then trailed a finger down into the cleft between his ass cheeks. Christ, he felt amazing. “Keep going just like that. Make me come.”

He slid up and down, squeezing around my cock. I held his hips with both hands, trying and failing to keep from thrusting forward. Aiden moaned as I pumped into him.

“Fuck yes. Harder.”

“Make me come,” I panted, slamming my hips against his ass. “Make me come, Aiden. Make me—oh fuck, Aiden—”

I came in a rush, releasing into him. Holding on to his hips was the only thing that kept me upright. Aiden slid on and off my cock, milking every last drop out of me, keeping it deep inside his hole.

I could hardly breathe. I desperately wanted to collapse down onto him. That, or lie under him and let him face-fuck me until he’d returned the favor. I slid a hand around his hips and found his cock, rock hard. I wanted it in my mouth.

I started to pull out, but Aiden stopped me.

“No,” he said. “Leave it in. Please, leave it in me.”

He brushed my hand away from his cock.

“You don’t want me to help?” I asked. He shook his head.

“No. Not this time.” He began stroking himself. “This time I want—”

But he cut himself off before finishing.

“You want what,” I asked gently.

He looked over his shoulder, his eyes lust-shot. “I want to feel used,” he whispered. “I want to feel like you just used me for my hole. Like you can’t even be bothered to jerk me off right now.”

My eyes went wide, but what surprised me most wasn’t what Aiden had said. It was the way my cock twitched, like it was trying to get hard again at that idea.

“Yeah?” I rolled my hips, pressing deeper into him. If that was what he wanted from me, I was more than happy to give it to him. “You want that?”

“Fuck, yes,” he whined.

“And you think you deserve to come now?” I asked.

“Please,” he begged, his hand moving up and down on his cock. “Please let me.”

A million absolutely filthy things ran through my mind, but I didn’t want to ruin this for Aiden by accidentally saying the wrong one. Better to let him do more of the talking until I was sure.

“Tell me why you deserve it,” I said, pulling out just slightly before pushing back in. I was careful not to withdraw too much, careful to keep myself inside him if that was what he needed.

“Because I got you off,” Aiden whined, his hand moving frantically on his cock. “Because I was a good little slut for you.”

Jesus, those words should not have had the effect on me that they did.

“And why should I keep my cock inside you?” I pressed.

“Because you know I need it. Because you know I can’t come without something in my ass.”

I wondered idly if that were actually true. Had he been wearing a plug, the time that I’d let him suck me off, when he’d jerked off on the rug? Then I set the thought aside. That was a question for another day. Right now, I needed to concentrate on the fantasy Aiden was building.

“You like being used, huh?” I dug my fingers into his hips.

“God, yes,” Aiden groaned, his hand moving faster still.

“Tell me what else you like.”

“Being fucked,” he gasped. “Doing whatever you tell me to. No matter what it is. Because you know I’ll do it, you know I need to be treated like a—like a—oh, fuck, Nolan…”

I held him steady as he came, his hips shaking underneath me. His arm moved back and forth, wrist jerking as he stroked himself a final few times. I leaned down and pressed a kiss in between his shoulder blades. He whimpered.

I didn’t pull out until he collapsed onto the mattress. I lay down on my back, then pulled him over so he was lying on top of me, our legs tangling. His chest pressed against mine, rising and falling with ragged motion.

We lay in silence for a long time, until, out of nowhere, Aiden said, “Thank you.”

I ran a hand through his hair, still damp with sweat. “For what?”

“For not thinking that was weird?” he said. “At the end there, I mean, with all that stuff I said. I know it’s a little—well, you know. I wouldn’t blame you if that was a bridge too far.”

“Not weird,” I said, thinking about the way my cock had throbbed at his words. I want to feel like you used me . “Hot. And definitely not weird.”

“Even though I was kinda saying the same things as Tanner said in those messages?” Aiden asked. “You don’t think that makes me a hypocrite?”

“Not at all. There’s a world of difference between a consensual fantasy and someone trying to force themself on you.” I pulled him in tighter. “Actually, I’m a little relieved you don’t think I’m a hypocrite.”

“Why would I think that?”

“Because of what I told you,” I said, stroking his arm. “About what happened to me. And here I am, liking it when you talk about me making you do things, bossing you around.”

“Oh.” He laughed. “It didn’t even cross my mind.”

“So you don’t think it makes me a terrible person?”

I kept my voice light, but Aiden must have noticed something in my tone, because he picked his head up and looked me in the eye.

“You’re the best person I’ve ever met.” Then he grinned. “I’d say that even if we weren’t mind-blowingly sexually compatible, though that part doesn’t hurt.”

I laughed, and he lay back down. After a moment, he added, “I mean it, you know.”

“Hmm?”

“You. Me meeting you. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. And when I say I’ll do whatever you want, I mean it on a larger scale too. Not just sex. If you want me to quit my job, or move to DC, or delete my CamFans account, I’ll do it. Whatever you want.”

I thought about that. Thought about my mom, and the conversations I needed to have with her. Thought about my old job, and how little I missed it. Thought about how these weeks on Summersea were the happiest I’d been in ages.

Granted, that was probably more due to Aiden than the location, though it was nice to be so close to my friends. With Aiden by my side, though, I could probably be happy anywhere.

He made me see possibilities, instead of limits. He made me want to see what lay around the next bend in the road. Want to see it with him.

“What I want,” I said, “is to be wherever you are. Anything else is just icing on the cake.”

“The cake, huh?” Aiden lifted his head and looked at me again, wiggling his eyebrows.

“What?” I asked.

“Well, it’s just…” He shrugged. “If you want to put it on a cake, that’s fine. But that seems like a waste of perfectly good icing to me.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, think about it. All gooey and white and dripping down everywhere. Making little puddles, getting things all slippery. Filling them up tight. I’m just saying, why waste icing on a cake when you could put it in so many more interesting places?”

“Pretty sure I did just put icing somewhere more interesting.”

“Really?” Aiden cocked his head to the side. “I’m having the strangest trouble remembering that. I might need you to do it again, just to remind me. You know, really fill my memory up.”

I laughed. “Are you sure your memory can handle another infusion so soon?”

“We’ll never know unless we try. Come on, don’t you want to see how much icing I can take before it starts spurting out everywhere?”

“Spurting out of your memory?”

“Yes, exactly. Of course, if that does happen, you might have to find another hole to shove it into. Really make sure I internalize it.”

“This is by far the strangest, but also hottest, conversation I have ever had about baking.” I rolled him onto his back and brushed a kiss across his lips. “I’m game to try, but are you sure it’s not too soon?”

“Nolan, you don’t make it to the semi-finals of a baking competition without gaining a few skills. It might be a bit of a stretch, but…” Aiden grinned. “I think I’m up to the challenge.”