Chapter 26
Teague
I ’d never done hard drugs, the kind that completely altered your state of mind and had you riding high. But if I had, I would imagine it’d feel kind of like the way I felt right now. Blissed out and like I was floating on air.
Last night had been a revelation. And it wasn’t just because Charlie and I had had penetrative sex, although it had been good enough to blow my mind. It was the trust he showed me with that act. I knew how important it was. He’d been clear about his reservations, his hang ups, and his boundaries. There’d never been a doubt that he wanted me. But that he trusted me enough to be that vulnerable, knew I wouldn’t take it places he couldn’t handle, and that it was worth it to try, with me, settled something in my soul.
It was as though I’d been subconsciously holding back, just a little, from letting myself fall completely in love with him. And now that I knew without a doubt that I had his trust, I could let myself take that last step and fall.
Waking up with Charlie’s skin pressed against mine further solidified that. He hadn’t gotten redressed in the middle of the night. He’d allowed me to hold him all night, nothing between us but the underwear. I wasn’t so na?ve as to think he was magically “fixed.” He wasn’t broken to begin with. But I knew he wasn’t going to suddenly be okay with me looking and touching all the time, or that his dysmorphia would vanish just because we made love. And that didn’t bother me. He’d made progress, at least with me, and hopefully he would continue to let me touch and look. But we’d go at his pace, and his comfort level, no matter what.
Lazy kisses were, in my opinion, the best way to start a morning. I felt Charlie wake, his breathing changing, and carefully kissed his cheek, then the corner of his mouth, and when I was sure he was coherent enough, kissed him full on. He returned it, matching my pace and letting out a soft, content sigh. When I slid my hand up his chest, he froze. I wasn’t surprised, so I just kissed him again, quick and light, and rolled away.
“Up and at ‘em, baby. Let me hit the shower really quickly, then I’ll make coffee while you use the bathroom. Okay?”
I didn’t look at him as I headed for the door, but I paused and waited for his “okay” before going on. I cleaned up quickly, scrubbing fast, then laid out a towel and washcloth for him on the edge of the sink. I wrapped my towel around my waist and headed back into my room. Charlie was sitting up in bed, his T-shirt now back on, and the sheets covering the rest of him.
I winked just to see him smile but turned away, facing my dresser and began opening drawers. “Bathroom’s yours. I set out a towel for you.”
I heard him move, and then he pressed himself against my back, hugging me tightly. He pressed a kiss to my bare shoulder, lingering just a little. “Thanks. I’ll be quick.”
I squeezed his hands where they were tucked against my stomach. “No need to rush. We’ve got time, eh?”
Charlie rubbed his nose on the back of my neck, then pulled away slowly, dragging his fingers on my skin. It had my blood pooling south, but there was no time to do anything about it. Not only because he was already gone but because I knew he needed a few minutes to get himself together, and me trying to pounce wouldn’t help him at all.
I hummed a little tune while I pulled on boxers, cargo shorts, and a T-shirt. We only had a few more weeks of this heat before the weather would turn and start to get chillier, so I was going to take advantage of it while I could. I stopped short the moment I stepped into the kitchen, seeing a very familiar box sitting on the café table in the corner. Someone, either Regan or Oak, had drawn a little devil face and a heart on top. I chuckled, appreciating that Oak had stopped back to drop off the confection, though I was surprised I hadn’t heard the door. He must have been sneaky.
I plated the Unicorn Farts, because presentation mattered, and was glad I got one of my own this morning. The coffee was easy enough and I got that going. While it was percolating, I found matching mugs, which was a feat in my kitchen, and set out both the sugar and half and half. The coffee pot was just spitting out the last of its brew when Charlie entered the kitchen.
He looked amazing as usual, jeans hugging his legs and a fitted long sleeve tee accentuating his delectable body. I let myself have two seconds of appreciative glance before looking away, knowing he was probably a little raw and though I’d been able to look when I wanted over the past few weeks, this morning might be different.
Charlie’s sleeves were pulled down over his hands, which was a sure sign his skin wasn’t fitting right. Not wanting to make a big deal out of it—because honestly, it wasn’t a big deal unless I was the cause of it—I gestured to the table then turned to pour the coffee.
“How did you manage the cupcake delivery?"
I snorted. “That was all Oakley. Or Regan.” I considered for a second. “Or maybe both. Anyway, breakfast is served.” I set his mug before him and settled into my seat across from him.
“These cupcakes are becoming a thing.” Charlie smiled and doctored his coffee, then reached for the cupcake to peel the liner off.
“Becoming? Hate to break it to you, baby, they’ve been a thing.” Not that I was worried about it. I knew he loved them.
I made a sandwich out of my cupcake and devoured the thing in about five bites. Charlie was a lot more delicate with his, but the occasional yummy noise he let out warmed my heart. I loved to see him enjoying them because they were our thing. I’d introduced him to them. Hell, I’d wooed him with cupcakes. I wanted him to always enjoy them.
Once the cupcakes were gone and we were both sipping on the last of our coffee, I cleared my throat. Charlie glanced up to meet my gaze, and I smiled and tried for a casual tone, “Anything we need to talk about?”
Charlie’s eyes went wide behind his glasses, and he swallowed hastily before picking up a napkin and wiping his mouth. Since there hadn’t been anything there, I knew he was using the action to buy time and that was fine. He could take all the time he needed.
“Uh, no?” He blinked a couple of times. After a few seconds, he blew out a breath and slid his leg forward so his socked foot bumped up against my bare one. “I’m, um, feeling a little…rattled maybe? I dunno. I’m okay. But I…” His eyes went wide and he rushed out, “but I don’t regret it!”
“You sure?” I asked carefully. Charlie’s nod was emphatic, so I grinned. “Good. I don’t either, in case you couldn’t tell. And I just want to be clear about one thing. Just because it happened doesn’t mean I’m expecting it all the time now, okay? But any time you feel like you want that, you just have to say the word. Or the other way around. Not my favorite, but I’ll happily do that if you want it.”
I’d shocked him with that judging by the way his mouth hung open for a second. Either because I’d been so blunt in talking about it or because I’d offered to bottom if he wanted it. It didn’t matter why, just that he knew both sentiments were sincere. It took him another moment to compose himself but when he did, he blushed a little even as he gave me a very satisfied, smug smile.
“Well, we’ll just have to see, won’t we?”
Seriously. Flirty Charlie was so fucking hot.
We both realized the time then and hustled to finish up and get out the door. Charlie had to get to work, and he was anxious to see how Salem had fared the night. The kitten was doing well health-wise, but he could be a bit of a terror. The healthier he got, the more kitten-like he became.
We shared lingering kisses at the door to his SUV until I finally had to shove him inside or else we’d end up standing there and making out all day. I backed out of the drive, then waited for him to do the same and go so that I ended up following him out and down Route 9 until he made the turn into Black Dog Inn. I continued on to Mulligan’s Firewood.
As far as I was concerned, life couldn’t be more perfect. Now I just had to figure out when and how to tell Charlie I was head over heels in love with him and wanted to spend the rest of my life making him happy.
Since it was a rather big declaration, I had to figure out the perfect way to do it.
“So?” Oakley asked, the second he walked in the door that evening. I was standing at the stove, stirring the taco seasoning into the ground beef. We were having what Oak called “white people tacos” but it was the best I could do having only been home twenty minutes myself.
“Buttons on your underwear,” I absently completed the phrase my mother always used.
I heard the clunk of Oak’s shoes as he kicked them off. “What?”
I turned as he entered the kitchen. “What what?”
“Uncle Teague!”
“What? I don’t know what’s going on right now.” I pointed to the counter with the spoon I was using. “Start chopping.”
Oak retrieved a knife from the block and started in on the tomatoes, dicing them up finely. “Sooo,” he said, drawing the word out. “You’ve been ignoring my texts all day and Charlie wouldn’t talk. How did it go?”
“Maybe that means it’s none of your business,” I suggested kindly.
Oak huffed. “I’m not asking for details because ew gross.” He cocked his head as he thought about it. “Though if my bestie wasn’t dating my uncle, I’d be all over that.” He shook his head, bringing himself back to the present. “I just want to know how it went, since I went to the trouble to orchestrate the whole thing.”
He had a point there. “Which I thank you for. It was a nice thing to do. It was good. Lovely, even.”
“Lovely? Really, Uncle Teague?”
“What?” I blinked innocently and a smile tried to work its way onto Oak’s face, but he fought it. “Lovely is a perfectly lovely word.”
Oakley broke, laughing as he turned back to his task. “Shut up. I just wanted you guys to have a nice night and…yeah. Anyway.”
“Hey, Oak?” I set down the spoon and turned to face him, leaning my hip against the counter next to the stove. I waited for him to glance over at me before I went on. “Charlie and I had a great night. And it was cool of you to clear out for the evening. But this is your home too, right? Don’t feel like you’ve gotta make yourself scarce.”
Oak snorted out a laugh, but his expression cleared. “Dude, that was for me, not you. I didn’t want to hear anything.”
I couldn’t help but laugh too. “Yeah, yeah. Fine.”
It didn’t take long for everything to be ready, and we sat down and assembled our own tacos. Something Oak said had been niggling in the back of my brain. Once both of us had eaten a taco each and the edge of hunger was slated, I cautiously broached the subject.
“You said Charlie was quiet today?”
That worried me. We’d been texting on and off all day as we were able to take breaks. Every time I messaged, he’d been fairly quick to respond, and our exchanges had seemed normal. Happy even. I hadn’t had any inkling anything was wrong.
Oak shot me a look that clearly said I was being ridiculous. “No, I said Charlie wouldn’t talk. As in he was wearing a goofy smile and staring off into space, but when I asked about things he clammed up.”
“Oh.” The relief that washed through me almost made me sag in my chair. “Oh, that’s different. Good. That’s good.”
Oak snorted. “You’ve got it so bad.”
“I love him.” The words were out of my mouth before I realized it, but Oak’s gasp clued me in. There was no point in trying to backtrack. Couldn’t put the words back in my mouth. I pointed menacingly at my nephew. “I swear to all that is good and holy in this world, if you breathe a word of that to him—”
“He doesn’t know?” Oak’s eyes were wide.
“He knows.” Of that, I was sure. Charlie might not have processed it, he might not think it, but he knew. Subconsciously or whatever, he had to know. “But I haven’t said it yet. And neither has he. And if you blab….” I let that hang there, the threat implied.
Oak mimed zipping his lips. I stared at him a moment longer until he held up both hands. “I promise, Uncle Teague.”
Satisfied, I focused on my food and made a mental vow to figure out how to tell Charlie sooner rather than later.
Later that night, as I was crawling into bed, I took a chance and shot Charlie a message.
what you doin?
His response came a minute or so later.
I’m trapped
what??
The phone immediately beeped with an incoming video call, and I scrambled to hit the accept button. It took a few seconds to connect, and then Charlie’s face filled the screen, highlighted by the dim lamp on his bedside table. Salem was currently sacked out. Across Charlie’s throat. I muffled my laugh, not wanting to wake the baby.
“Ah, I see.” I kept my voice low.
“For all that your son is three pounds, he’s fricking heavy.”
“Oh, my son, is it?”
“When he’s being a brat, yes.” Charlie’s soft affection belied his real emotion, and his free hand came up to softly pet the kitten. Salem made that tiny noise all cats did when you woke them, but other than wiggling, he didn’t move.
“I’ll take it,” I said with a chuckle. “How are you?”
“Well, I can still breathe, so I’m taking the win.” Charlie smiled sweetly, then his eyes softened. His voice was barely a whisper when he added, “Wish you were here.”
I threw the covers off my legs. “Say the word and I’m in the truck and at your door in fifteen minutes.”
I was ready to move, throw on some clothes, and go, but Charlie’s hesitation made me freeze. After a few seconds, he said, “Not tonight.”
My heart gave a painful lurch, but I forced a smile. “Okay.”
Charlie bit his lip before he seemed to realize what he was doing and let it go. He blew out a breath that ruffled Salem’s fur. “It’s not that…I don’t…It’s just—”
“Hey, no. It’s okay. You don’t have to explain yourself. If you need it, you get it.”
Charlie teared up, but the wobbly smile on his face let me know it was all right. I got the distinct impression the tears were because I was so understanding. And I was. It hurt a little, but in that “I want to be with him all the time” way and not in the “he’s rejecting me” way. I got the difference.
“Tell me about your day,” Charlie requested after a moment.
See? He still wanted me; he just needed a little physical space at the moment. I rolled my eyes and settled back into bed. “I delivered a cord to the Falchuk’s today.”
“Oh boy,” Charlie said, tone grave. He’d heard my stories about Mrs. Falchuk’s antics before. “What happened?”
“Well, first she insisted that they hadn’t placed an order. I had to show her the invoice before she miraculously remembered. And then she claimed the wood didn’t go where it’s always gone, and she wanted it on the other side of the house. I tried to argue, but she wasn’t having it, but when I went to move it over there, she suddenly changed her mind. I swear, if I didn’t know she just likes being difficult, I’d think she was going senile or something.”
“You said she was a piece of work.” Charlie’s voice was getting sleepy.
“Regan has problems with her too. And the Altmanns. Last time she went into Sugar Rush….” I kept talking, telling him all about the difficult woman watching as his eyes drifted shut. Salem slipped off Charlie’s neck and settled on the pillow, and Charlie turned over so he was nose to nose with the cat, propping the phone up next to them.
“You’re falling asleep, baby,” I said softly, knowing in a few more seconds I was going to lose him to slumber.
“Your voice is soothing.” His words slurred a little, and I had to chuckle.
“Go to sleep. Dream sweet. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
“Night, Teague.”
“Goodnight, baby.” And as I hung up the phone, I couldn’t help whispering, “I love you.”