Chapter 29
Charlie
I didn’t go back to Arizona, not even a visit. I also didn’t video call either of my parents. It still took me a week or so to start eating normally, and another one to start feeling right inside my body.
I apologized to everyone I’d made worry about me: Teague, Law, Nic and Dana, and Oak, and I did it separately for everyone just to make sure they understood that I took it seriously and was sincere. That I wasn’t just giving a blanket sorry for everyone.
Hell, I even apologized to Teague’s dad when we stopped by for dinner one night. He understood and gave me this look that was just so dad that I almost teared up. Then his mom whisked me away to help in the kitchen and I just… let go of my own shitty parents in that moment. These were my people now, and they wouldn’t care if it took me time to fully assimilate myself or if there’d be steps back, which, knowing me, there would be.
The dogs, Salem, and I took Teague hiking a couple of times, too. Then I took Nic and Dana, and I could see the whirring in their heads when I told them I was sure the trails would definitely interest guests if we marketed them right.
I spent more nights at Teague’s now, with Salem in tow. After our first visit, a bunch of cat stuff appeared miraculously, including a giant cat tree and some platforms and walkways Teague had installed directly into the longest wall in the living room.
Our son was so much happier there, that by the time Oak started to make noises about wanting more independence, it was easy to ask him if he wanted the cabin.
“Has Uncle Teague asked you to move in with him?” he asked me, eyes wide when I made my proposition one lunchtime.
I grinned. “No, but do you think he’d ask me anyway? Like, after Christmas or something?”
Oak snorted softly. “He’s just being careful not to overstep your boundaries.”
Grimacing, I sighed. “But the thing is, I don’t know where those are, so how would he? And I’m kind of not prepared to spend the rest of my life just waiting to backslide.” I pushed my empty plate away and leaned back in my chair. “Things will happen. Just last week I freaked the fuck out when Tristan broke his arm and I couldn’t be there for him.”
“That’s got to be rough,” Oak murmured. “I miss my siblings sometimes, but….”
“But they’re good Mormon kids, and that makes things more difficult?” I made an educated guess based on what he’d told me.
He made a face. “Yeah. I love them, at least in theory. I guess I mostly miss the good times. When we were just kids, not the perfect Young kids. Not what they wanted us to be.” He exhaled slowly, then looked at me with some hesitation, but a lot of determination, too. “I’m going to ask Grams and Gramps if they’d mind if I changed my last name to Mulligan. I don’t want to be a Young anymore.”
I reached over the table and took his hand, squeezing firmly. “I think that’s the perfect idea, and they’ll love it. I have absolutely no doubt. Besides, your uncle will flip.”
“Flip for what? Because you’re holding hands with my nephew?” Teague rumbled from behind me.
“Yes. We’re eloping,” Oak said dryly, giving my hand another squeeze before pulling his back.
“Well, crap. I guess this is it, then,” Teague said, his lower lip wobbling theatrically. Then he steeled himself. “Just know that the custody battle for our son will be long and difficult.”
I looked at Oak. “Sorry, I’ve changed my mind. I can’t break up my son’s family, no matter how great of a hooker you are.”
At that point, all three of us heard a middle-aged man inhale his drink at the next table over.
Oak mouthed “Oops?” at me, then we all cracked up. We were still laughing when Nic came in for her lunch. She took one look at us, shook her head, and went to find her wife in the kitchen instead of joining us.
That night, Oak went to his grandparents’ place so I could have my talk with Teague.
We were sprawled on Teague’s couch, Teague on his back, me halfway on top of him, and Salem curled up on his chest next to my face.
“There’s something I wanted to talk about,” I started when we finished another episode of Our Flag Means Death .
“Oh?”
I could tell Teague wanted to sound casual, but it had taken him a couple of seconds too long to produce the word, and I knew I was close to worrying the shit out of him already. Well done, Charlie.
“I’ve been thinking that whenever Salem and I stay over, he’s so much happier. I’m so much happier.” That needed to be emphasized. After all, I wasn’t making decisions based on what our cat son wanted. “So, I wanted to ask if you’d maybe want us here full time?” I hated how insecure I sounded at the end of the sentence, despite knowing Teague’s answer already.
Teague stilled under us. Then he carefully extracted Salem and put him on the back rest. His long, calloused fingers tilted my face up so I was forced to look at him.
“Are you asking if I want you two to move in permanently?”
I nodded. “Yeah.”
He swallowed, his gaze sliding from me to Salem, then back. I realized his eyes were brimming over.
“Fuck yes,” he rasped out. “I’ve been wanting to ask—”
I didn’t let him continue, instead I moved up his body and kissed him with all the emotions coursing through my body.
We made out in a way that felt like desperation and celebration at the same time. By the time we left Salem in the living room and fell onto Teague’s—now our—bed, I still asked him to turn the lights off before I could relax enough to let him inside me again.
We still hadn’t showered together, and I wasn’t sure if we ever could, but I wasn’t afraid anymore. Not in the same way I’d once been.
After we sprawled on the bed, panting and satisfied and so fucking in love, I reached over to turn the lamp on again. The mental hurdles were weird; sometimes they still appeared out of nowhere to trip me, and other times they just vanished before I got anywhere close to them. That night, I didn’t even hesitate to get out of bed, naked, and go clean up in the bathroom. I didn’t get dressed again when I slid back into bed and curled up to sleep next to Teague.
The next day we moved all my stuff to Teague’s house, and then the day after that, we helped Oak move into the cabin.
Teague started to take Salem with him on days when he was doing firewood runs. If he knew he was working at the sawmill, he left the kitten with me. Salem quickly became an honorary employee of Mulligan’s Firewood.
Teague’s friend Felix started to come to the Inn more often on the nights when the dining room was open for anyone who wanted a nice dinner. I was pretty sure he and Oak were flirting, but I might’ve just been reading into things and definitely didn’t tell Teague about it because it was none of my business.
Law’s divorce was finalized, but Caitlyn still lived with him and the kids, just to get in all the time she could before her move to Boston. I wasn’t sure how that would work in practice, but in theory they “had it under control,” or at least so my brother kept telling me.
The kids were mostly okay, but I got a couple of calls from Harper, whenever she wanted to talk to an adult about it. She was old enough to understand more about the situation and one night she snorted softly and said Marlie and Tristan were lucky they didn’t “get it” all.
I told her she was likely correct, and that I was proud of her, but that I also wanted her to know none of what was happening was something she needed to take on her shoulders. That her dad, mom, and I were there for her, too.
Since Caitlyn had to go to Boston for Thanksgiving weekend, Law and I made plans for him and the kids to come to Fairville instead. Nic and Dana had some family coming over as well, and so they decided to not host an open Thanksgiving, but to keep the door shut from anyone but family. That meant the Mulligans were invited, of course, and I couldn’t wait to see everyone dear to me together in one place.
One day, I made it home before Teague and Salem. It was quite chilly even for early November. I made a fire in the fireplace, then slid the spark screen in place so our menace of a son wouldn’t hurt himself. One time burning off half the whiskers on his left side when he got too curious about a spark was enough.
I started on dinner and was humming along to a tune on the radio when my beloved got home.
“See, there’s Daddy; go say hi,” Teague told Salem and put him on the floor while starting to take off his outerwear.
Salem screamed his usual greeting and ran to me, then jumped onto the island so he could put his paws on my chest and headbutt me.
“Did you have a good day, baby boy?” I asked him, petting him just on the side of too rough, which he loved to no end.
He purred up a storm, then noticed that I’d filled his food bowl and jumped down, his daddy all forgotten.
Teague chuckled as he came to kiss me hello. “He sure is predictable.”
“Uh-huh.” I pulled him back into another kiss. Then another one.
“What was that for?” He grinned at me in the way that made his crow’s feet scrunch in that utterly attractive way of his.
I shrugged. “I’m just… happy.”
Teague dipped his head to peck my lips. “Good. Anything special that brought it up today?”
I turned to stir the tomato sauce I was making and hummed. “Not really. I just realized that I’d not felt bad about myself in a while. Not in the way I used to every day.” Every moment of every day. “I guess I’ve finally accepted that this is who and where I am supposed to be. That nothing that came before I left Arizona gets to define me anymore.”
I’d still have my issues, of course, but that was life. Everyone had issues, whether bigger or smaller. Mine, at least, were shrinking, slowly but surely.
Teague’s long arms came around me from behind and he put his chin on my shoulder. He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t need to. Instead, he tugged at the rolled-up sleeve of the red flannel shirt I was wearing and kissed my neck.
Yeah, I was exactly where I was supposed to be.