Chapter 28
Teague
T here was no reason to worry. I told myself that over and over again. Charlie had made it clear last night that he needed a little space, so the fact that I didn’t get a “good morning” text was no big deal. As was the fact that he wasn’t in the office when I dropped off his cupcake. It was fine. It was all fine. He was a grown ass man who didn’t need me to worry and hover, and he’d eventually reach out, and we would be just like we always were. Talking and laughing and flirting, moving our relationship forward. Nothing was amiss. It was fine.
It was not fine.
I was, in fact, freaking out a little. Constantly checking my phone to make sure I hadn’t somehow missed a text. Continually going over it all in my head, trying to figure out where I’d misstepped, what I had done to make him take a step back from us. From me.
It took me far longer to load the two cords of wood that the Albrights had ordered than it should have because I kept getting lost in thought about it all. And checking my phone. And worrying and fretting that my boyfriend was suddenly ignoring me. And it wasn’t until after I’d delivered the firewood—which I thankfully just had to drop off and not stack—before I realized what happened.
Charlie must have heard me tell him I loved him, even though I was sure I’d hung up before murmuring it, and it was too soon. We hadn’t been us long enough for me to say the words, and now he was pulling away because I’d freaked him out. Because I was rushing and jumping the gun and moving far too fast. It was the only thing that made sense. I knew Charlie needed to go slowly and blasted through that boundary.
Fuck .
I pulled over to the side of the road, put on my hazards, and just tried to breathe. I couldn’t lose him. I just couldn’t. He’d become my everything so quickly, I loved him, and I needed to figure out a way to fix this. Surely, we could work through it. I’d back off if he needed me to, as long as he didn’t cut me out of his life entirely. We could talk this out and move forward, and then, when he was ready, we could both express our love and make plans for our future.
My gut feeling was to run over there, right the fuck now, and work it out. But by not reaching out to me, Charlie was making it clear he needed distance. I’d give him the day, and then send a text this evening if we didn’t talk before that. Just so he would know I was thinking of him and worried. That I wasn’t going to let him push me away unless he specifically told me it was over. Even then I would try to talk to him about it, though of course I would respect his decision.
Feeling better with a plan in place, I checked traffic then pulled back onto the road and headed back to work. Dad had been cutting logs when I left so there would be a large pile for the splitter by the time I got there. It would be enough to occupy my mind, keeping me busy enough not to fret about Charlie. At least I hoped. Okay, I knew I would still be worrying but at least I’d be busy, and it would eat time until I could reach out to my boyfriend.
I checked my phone one more time before I got to work, thought about texting Charlie anyway, but shoved it back into my pocket before I could. He needed time. We’d work it out tonight, or tomorrow, and things would go on from there. I shook my head, pulled on my ear protection, and started up the log splitter. It was steady work, and I tried my best to blank my mind while I fed log after log into the machine, watching it do its thing and send firewood up the conveyor and into the pile. If I occasionally imagined what I’d send Charlie later, what would sound the best or have the biggest chance of getting a response, well, I couldn’t be blamed. I had faith it would all be okay, in the end.
That was, until Oakley texted a little after midday.
Charlie left early
And then a second message, ten seconds after the first.
He didn’t eat his cupcake
It was like a punch in the gut. The air whooshed out of my lungs, and I actually bent in half, struggling to breathe. The world dimmed at the edge of my vision, going dark, and when spots appeared I realized I actually wasn’t breathing and forced myself to suck in air. Then again, in and out. Once I was reasonably sure I wouldn’t pass out, I straightened, my fingers trembling as I tapped out a reply.
Where’d he go?
I dunno. Nic doesn’t either.
Shit. Damn. Fuck!
I had to remind myself to keep breathing. I shut off the machine, threw my ear protection to the ground, and was halfway to the truck before I stopped myself. The heels of my boots dug gouges into the dirt as I planted myself. No, I couldn’t go running off, riding to the rescue. Charlie was an adult who could take care of himself. He didn’t answer to me or anyone else. Just because this seemed out of character didn’t mean he was in any danger. He was allowed time on his own. He could do whatever he wanted. And just because he hadn’t told me, or his best friend, didn’t mean anything at all.
But he didn’t eat the cupcake, and that was the thing stuck in my brain. That was our thing. That was his morning treat that he’d been enjoying for weeks now. Was his stomach just off and he couldn’t handle that much sugar this morning? Maybe. But I worried it meant more than that. That he didn’t eat it because it was our thing. Because it was from me.
No. I couldn’t go down that road. I wouldn’t. Not yet. I had to be logical and not react off my gut because where Charlie was concerned, it jumped to extremes. Okay, first things first. I wasn’t going to wait until this evening to message Charlie. But I had to think of what to say that wouldn’t put any pressure on Charlie.
I thought for a few minutes, then settled on: Hey baby. How’s your day?
I stared at the phone as the seconds ticked by, then the minutes. Every time the screen dimmed, I woke it again. The message showed delivered, but no response was incoming. Maybe he was mad at me? Maybe he hadn’t needed space at all, but by me not messaging him he thought I was the one pulling away and now he was upset with me. Or hurt. Maybe I’d made the whole situation worse by not reaching out.
“Teague?”
I jumped, not having heard my dad walk over, and spun to face him. The instant he caught sight of me, his brow scrunched together. “Everything okay?”
I shook my head. Then nodded. I let out a little laugh which sounded slightly hysterical and said, “Something’s going on with Charlie.”
Dad’s expression morphed into one of worry. “You need to go?”
“I, uh…It’s just….” I blew out a breath and tried to center myself. “No. Not yet. I’m jumping the gun with my worry. I just have to wait for him.”
Dad hummed and stepped closer. He clasped my shoulder. “You sure about that?”
I shook my head. “Not really. My gut says one thing, my head says another. I’m kind of…meeting in the middle between them right now.”
For a long moment, Dad didn’t say anything, just stared into the middle distance for a few seconds before he focused back on me. “All right. You know him best. Lemme know if I can help, eh?”
“Thanks, Dad.”
He gave my shoulder a squeeze before walking away to get back to work. I watched him go for a few minutes, then dropped my attention to my phone, having to wake it back up. Still no response. Dammit. I texted him again.
Just wanna know you’re okay. We don’t have to talk if you don’t want to. Just send me something okay?
Time kept ticking by with no response. I wanted to push and demand an answer, but my gut was telling me if I pushed too hard, then I would lose him. So instead, I kept checking for the next few hours. I messaged with Oak who let me know that wherever Charlie had gone he’d taken both dogs so at least he’d be safe, and that everyone was worried but not overly. I tried to do the same. But as the sun crept lower in the sky, worry started to turn to panic. Nic had guessed he’d headed out hiking in the woods because his car was still there, but the dogs were gone. We still had a couple hours before it got dark, but now I was really concerned. It was getting harder and harder to ignore my gut feelings.
Just as I was about to say fuck it and go after him whether he wanted me to or not, my phone chimed with another text. I nearly dropped it in my haste to get it out of my pocket and then was shocked as shit to see Law’s name on my screen. Charlie had done as his brother had asked and shared our contact info with each other, but we’d never talked.
How’s Charlie doing? I haven’t been able to get a hold of him to update him on our father.
I frowned at the screen, confusion swirling through me. What the hell was he talking about?
what d'you mean?
An instant later the phone rang, and I swiped fast to answer it.
“What do you mean what do I mean?” Law bit out, voice low and worried.
“I don’t have any idea what you’re talking about. I haven’t talked to Charlie all day. He’s been ignoring me.”
There was a beat of silence, then a very heartfelt, “Shit!”
“Daddy said a bad word!” Came a small voice, muffled through the line. I was guessing it was Tristan by the sound of it.
“Sorry, Tris. I didn’t mean it.”
“Law, what the fuck is going on?” I kept my voice low because even though I didn’t think he had me on speaker, I didn’t want to curse in front of the kids and scandalize Tristan even more.
“My brother is spiraling, that’s what. I thought he would have been with you, which is why I texted.” Law took a deep breath, blew it out slowly, and when he spoke, his voice was calmer. “Our father had a minor heart attack. He’s fine. He was treated right away, had a cardiac cath and a stent placed, and he’s already home again. Other than some lifestyle changes and a couple of new medications, he should make a full recovery in a week or so.”
“That’s good,” I said, because I had to say something. But I didn’t actually care about a man I’d never met. I was worried about what that had to do with Charlie.
“How much has my brother told you about his relationship with our parents?” Law asked carefully, and I heard the distinct sound of a door shutting. Maybe Law was closing himself off from his kids.
Conscious of the fact that they were Law’s parents too, and I had no idea how he felt about them, I didn’t say the words I wanted to and instead, tempered my response. “Enough so that I know it would probably be a bad idea if I was ever in the same room with them. I’d have a few, uh, choice things to say.”
Law chuckled, though it didn’t exactly sound amused. “Okay, then you know that things are more than complicated. It’s worse with our mother, but our father is no help. I let Charlie know what’s going on because I would never keep anything from him. But I imagine this has brought up thoughts and feelings.”
Fuck. I could see his point. “Thanks for letting me know. I have to go now. I’ll shoot you a message once I find and talk to Charlie.”
“Teague.” Law used his dad voice, which gave me pause. “I am trusting you with my brother.”
I understood exactly what he was implying with that statement, and I didn’t bother to explain that the caution was unnecessary. I was sure he was worried, but he was twenty-five hundred miles away and he was, in fact, trusting me to be there for Charlie when he couldn’t. “Say no more.”
“Thanks. Talk to you soon.”
“Bye.”
I hung up and shoved my phone in my pocket as I strode to my truck. Then, with much less care than I usually showed, I tore out of the parking lot and sped down Route 9. It was normally about a ten-minute drive. I made it in seven, pulling into the parking lot a little too fast and only slowing down because there were people around.
I headed straight for the road back to the cabins. I noticed Steve snoozing under his tree, and Cricket appeared as a white blur on the side of the road. When I pulled to a stop in front of Charlie’s cabin, his SUV was parked there, and a soft glow shone through one window, as though he had left the table lamp on. Car plus dogs and light meant he was home.
I jumped down and strode right up to the door, knocking loudly. I waited a minute or two, then banged on the door again while calling, “Charlie? Baby, open the door.”
Nothing. No sounds from within the cabin that I could hear. Panic bubbling in my gut but I stuffed it down for the moment. I knocked again, this time using the side of my fist, so it was really more of a banging. “Charlie, if you want me to go away you have to come to this door and tell me to my face!”
For another sixty seconds, there was nothing and I was trying to figure out how to break in, panic nearly threatening to overwhelm me, when the door swung open. Charlie stood there in his pajamas, sleep creases on his cheek, and a frown of confusion on his face.
“Teague? What are you doing here?”
The relief at seeing him whole nearly made me collapse. I sagged against the doorframe like my strings had been cut, and just breathed for a good ten seconds, trying to get my bearings back. Not that I’d really worried he would do something to himself, until that moment he didn’t answer the door. Now that I could see he was physically okay, the sheer relief was acute.
“Are you okay?”
He sounded so confused I managed to muster a smile, though it felt shaky on my lips. “Yeah. I am. But Charlie, you had everyone worried. No one has heard from you for most of the day.”
“Oh. I, uh…I needed to…I left my phone when I went for a hike and I just….”
I wanted to reach out and haul him into my arms so badly I ached with it. But I didn’t, not sure if that was what he wanted. I did step closer though, and Charlie’s lips quirked. Just a scant lifting of a corner of his mouth before it fell. He stepped back, allowing me inside.
“Which is totally fine. But maybe next time tell someone you’re going so we don’t panic.” My heart was still pounding, coming down from the adrenaline rush. “Hearing about your dad had to upset you, and bring up shit or whatever, so we all—”
Charlie froze, and I snapped my mouth shut. A second later, he asked, his voice barely above a whisper. “How do you know about that?”
I smiled in what I hoped was a comforting way. “Law called. He wanted to update you, but you weren’t answering, so he tried me. He figured we’d be together.”
Charlie’s lips trembled and his eyes filled. “I’m sorry.”
“No, I’m the one who’s sorry. All day, I was thinking you were ignoring me because you needed space, needed a step back from us, and I was trying to give you that. I didn’t want to push you away further, so I was trying not to be demanding. But you really needed me, and I wasn’t here for you.”
Charlie blinked. “You were…you thought…Teague! Of course it wasn’t about you. I love you!”
It was my turn to freeze, the words sinking in. And when they did, I couldn’t help the crazy grin that spread across my face. “You do?”
“Obviously. I don’t deserve you, but I love you, and I don’t know how you could think—oof!”
I grabbed him and pulled him in, squeezing him so tightly he probably couldn’t breathe. I’d let him inhale in a moment but first I had to soak that in. I kissed his cheek, his jaw, his temple, just needing to feel him for a minute.
“I love you, too.”
“I know,” he wheezed out. Charlie sucked in a strangled breath, and I loosened my hold just enough so that he could breathe properly, but I certainly didn’t let him go. Had he actually heard me last night, or had my actions been enough to show him the depth of my feelings? It didn’t matter.
I kissed him soft and quick, knowing now was not the time. I tucked him against me and murmured into his hair. “Good. How about you let me hold you while you talk to me about everything going on in your head, eh? I’ll help you sort it out.”
There was a beat of silence. Then Charlie nodded once, took my hand, and led me to the couch.