Chapter 24 #2
“When I was really young, before I learned to take care of myself, I didn’t know about .
. . about keeping myself clean. Or my clothes.
I had all these beautiful clothes . . . it’s strange, really, that she bought all those clothes then never bothered to dress me or wash them.
I don’t get it. I would have swapped them all for a full cupboard of food.
Anyway, my teacher drew me out of class one morning and asked me when I’d last had a bath.
I told her that I couldn’t remember, that I didn’t know how to work a bath.
She had a strange look on her face as she stared at me.
I think it was pity, now. But back then, I thought she was upset with me.
I started to cry. My parents were called in. ”
And her mother had been so furious.
She’d made her bathe and shower, then taught her how to use the washing machine.
So she never got called to the school again over concern that her daughter was dirty.
God. She hated that word now.
Dirty.
“Fucking assholes,” he muttered. “And your father didn’t care?”
“He’d have to notice in order to care about something,” she replied. “He didn’t even bother to come down to the school, just Mother came.”
He shook his head in disgust. “Every child deserves at least one loving parent. Someone to protect and take care of them.”
“You had that?” she asked.
He grinned slightly. “My parents were the best. My dad was a good man who died before he should have. After that, our mom raised us. She loved us, no matter how crazy we were or how many gray hairs we gave her. She died about fifteen years ago of cancer.”
“I’m so sorry,” she said.
“I miss them both. I wish you’d had that.”
“Me too. However I do know how to cope better now. Grammy found me an amazing therapist when I moved to London with her. And I had found another therapist while I was in Dallas. I just need to work out if I can video call her.”
“That’s good. I’m glad you have help. And you can also lean on me, baby.”
“It’s better if I don’t. I know you want to take care of me because of Lacey and our past. But like I’ve told you before, you don’t have to.
And it’s better for me if you don’t, I think.
Because I have to learn to cope on my own.
To deal with everything. I can’t use you as a crutch.
So thanks for riding to my rescue last night and bringing me home but I think it would be best if we had some space.
Like we had been having. Where did you actually sleep last night? ”
That had just occurred to her.
And maybe she was trying to deflect away from the increasingly angry look on his face.
“I slept on that really short couch. Rolled off in the middle of the night because it’s also narrow and then slept on the hard floor.”
“Bugger. Sorry. You should have just gone home. Is your back okay?”
“Goldie, last night you got drunk from one glass of champagne and told me that you hadn’t eaten all day. No way was I leaving you.”
She winced. Shit. Yeah, she could imagine what state she was in last night. “Sorry about that.”
“You don’t need to apologize. Now, I know that I’ve got to keep an eye on how much you’re eating. And to make a rule that you’re only to have a drink when you’re with me.”
“A . . . a rule? When I’m with you? Travis, do you not understand what I just said?” He didn’t seem to be getting that they should be spending less time together.
“Oh, yeah, there was a lot of bullshit about you needing space from me and having to do it all on your own.”
“It’s not bullshit!” Jeez, he was a hardheaded cockwomble!
“Hmm, what is it that you like to say? Oh yeah, everything that came out of your mouth is complete and utter bollocks.”
“It most certainly is not! It’s the truth! We need some space so that I don’t come to rely on you when you won’t be in my life forever.”
He leaned in and she could feel how tense he was. How angry. Well, that was just perfect since she was freaking furious!
“Who says I won’t be in your life forever?”
“Me! Because I’m going to be leaving soon. And I know we’re friends now. But we kind of crossed that line and it’s going to be hard to go back.”
“Good. I’m glad it’s going to be hard, because there is no going back.”
Did that . . . did that mean that he no longer wanted to be friends? This was such a confusing conversation.
“I tried to give you space after I brought you to orgasm on my kitchen counter, then I got flooded at work after looking for Rory for two days. Oh, and then I learned that you lied about what photos you take. Had to get my head around that.”
“I never lied.” She pointed at him. “You assumed.”
“You didn’t correct my assumption.”
“Yes, well, I didn’t think you’d take it well,” she told him with a wince.
“You cannot keep things from me just because you think I won’t take them well. That’s not a way to start a relationship.”
Urgh. This man.
“We’re not in a relationship!” she cried.
He was delusional.
“Sure, we are. I’m your boyfriend and you’re mine.”
“I’m yours? I’m your girlfriend?” she asked.
“That’s what I said.”
Not exactly. But she was focusing on the wrong part anyway. It didn’t matter how he wanted to label her when she didn’t actually belong to him in any capacity.
“We aren’t in a relationship. That was a lie you told everyone last night to help me. Which I appreciate. But the exhibition is over and things can go back to normal.”
“Yep, they can. The new normal.”