Chapter 25
If this hadn’t been such an important conversation, he might have laughed at the frustrated expression on her face.
But his mind was made up. She needed him. He wanted her.
It was perfect.
And yeah, maybe she didn’t fit the criteria he’d been using to search for a girlfriend. She certainly wasn’t uncomplicated. Or simple. She wouldn’t just slot on into his life without making waves.
But what the fuck had he been thinking? That sounded . . . terrible. He would have been bored within months if not weeks. And then what? Stuck in a relationship that he didn’t want?
No. He wanted chaos and craziness. Pure beauty and kindness and passion.
This woman was meant to be in his life. He’d fucked things up when they were younger and he was dumb. But they’d been children then.
Now, they were both adults.
And it didn’t worry him that she was taking longer to realize this . . . she just needed to get with the program. But he could be patient.
He’d give her an hour or two.
And people said he was an inflexible guy.
“New normal?” she asked with trepidation.
“Yes, the sort of normal where I hold open doors and carry stuff for you, where I get to know where you are, what you’re doing, and when you’ll be home.
Where I take you out for dinner or other dates and hold your hand and kiss you.
I pick you up, I walk you to the door, and when we’re ready, I stay over with you or you stay with me. And I introduce you as mine.”
“Pretty much all of that happens now! Except the dinner and dates.”
“Well, I went to an exhibition with you last night, that’s sort of a date, and I cooked breakfast for you this morning.”
“Those are not dates!”
“Fair enough. I can take criticism and learn from it. I’m an evolved guy.”
“No you’re not,” she told him.
“We’ll go on a date tonight. Wait, tonight we’re going to Whip It. Does that count as a date?”
“No.”
“Yeah, I guessed not. We’ll go out tomorrow night.”
“I don’t . . . we’re not . . . Travis, we’re not dating!”
“Yeah, we are. You just said yourself that we are doing everything that a couple does, except the dating part. Which I’ve fixed.”
“You can’t fix anything because we’re not actually dating.”
“Why not?”
“Well, you haven’t asked me for one.”
“Why would I do that?” he scoffed.
“Um, because that’s what people normally do.”
“Right. Stupid people. Because if I ask you that gives you the option of saying no.”
“So you’re just not going to give me the option?”
“Exactly.”
Oh, he was a nutter.
But right now, he’s your nutter.
Well, so he said. He seemed to think that they were a done deal.
That she was going to be his.
Was she really going to turn him down when this was everything she’d ever wanted?
It seemed crazy. But how would this really work? She wasn’t going to be here forever.
Could she keep this apartment as a base? Would their relationship survive her being away for weeks, maybe months at a time?
“I thought we were just friends,” she said. “Why did you change your mind?”
“Maybe I was trying to fool myself into thinking we were just friends. When really, I wanted more.”
“Since when? It wasn’t all that long ago that you hated me,” she pointed out.
“Never hated you, baby. And I was wrong.”
“I just . . . it’s a big shift.”
“Really? Is it that big of a shift considering what we did a week ago in my apartment?” he asked.
“I don’t think we should keep talking about that.” She could feel herself blushing. She still couldn’t believe that he’d been going to eat her out right there on his kitchen island.
And Caren was aware that it was crazy she was blushing when she had no problem being naked in a club filled with people.
The two things were quite different!
“If we weren’t attracted to each other that wouldn’t have happened. But we are. We wanted each other.” He ran a finger down her cheek and over her lips. “And we still do. We both want more. You can’t deny it.”
God no.
She couldn’t.
Her breath was already growing faster just from him touching her cheek and lips. Imagine what would happen if he moved his hand lower? If he cupped her breast and played with her nipple?
She might explode.
“You want me,” he murmured.
“I do.” She couldn’t deny it. No one would believe that. “Are you sure I’m what you really want, though?”
“Oh yeah, baby. So sure. Seems I needed some time in order to see that you are exactly what I want and need. Seeing you last night, calling you my girlfriend, it all felt fucking right. I want you, Caren. You’re going to be mine.”
Shit.
She was definitely in trouble here. The sort of trouble that she didn’t want to fix.
“How would any of this work, though?” she asked as he drew her head to the side and kissed down her neck to suck on the area where her neck and shoulder met.
Lord. Did he know how that affected her? How much she wanted to melt at his feet? To beg him to keep going?
“How it works is just what I said before. You’re mine, we date, we go to the club, you let me track you, put better security into your apartment, eventually you are in my bed. Although eventually might actually be right now because I cannot seem to fucking resist you.”
He wasn’t the only one struggling with that.
“I’m leaving soon.”
He tensed.
Shit. She shouldn’t have just blurted that out, should she?
Had she ruined everything before it had even begun?
He reached for the bottom of her top and drew it up over her head. She was wearing a short-sleeved top underneath.
“And where are you planning on going, baby?”
Jesus. When he called her baby in that soft, cajoling voice it almost killed her. Arousal filled her and she wanted to drag him against her and demand that he kiss her.
Over and over again.
That he didn’t stop.
“I’m planning on flying to the Middle East within the next fortnight,” she said. “And I don’t know how long I’ll be gone. I could keep this apartment . . . and return . . . what is it?”
He’d gone as still as a statue. She was kind of worried that he wasn’t even breathing.
His face had grown darker. “The Middle East? With who?”
“Um.” He was worrying her now. She bit her lip.
“You better not say by yourself.”
“I wasn’t going to say that. You see, River—”
“River?” he interrupted her. “That guy from the restaurant? You’re going with him?”
“Uh, yes.”
“Why would you be going with him?” His eyes narrowed as he studied her.
“Nothing like that! Sheesh. Oliver hired him to help me as my assistant and a sort of bodyguard.”
Tell him about Aadan.
She would if he didn’t look like his head was about to explode just from learning about River.
“Sort of bodyguard?” he exclaimed. “What the fuck is a ‘sort of’ bodyguard?”
“Uh, I don’t know. Someone who just watches my back, I guess. Keeps me safe.”
“That guy? That guy is going to keep you safe? Does he have a background in guarding people in precarious situations? Has he done this before? Has he even been to the Middle East? Has he got a military background?”
“Um, well. I know that he has some experience with boxing—”
“That is not going to help if you suddenly find yourself under siege or in the middle of a war, or being kidnapped for ransom.”
Wow. His mind really did go to the worst possible scenario, didn’t it?
“I’ve usually managed to get myself out of any precarious situations,” she murmured.
Mostly.
The last situation she’d been in . . . well, it had taken a lot to safely extract herself. She wasn’t sure she’d be able to do that again.
But Aadan was a long way from Kazbrekistan. It wasn’t like they would just run into each other.
In the end, he’d let her go. It wasn’t like he was interested in her. She was the one with the hang-up. Who was scared that he might still want her.
Lord, she was being so silly.
“Where in the Middle East were you planning on going?” he asked in a quiet voice.
Caren winced, knowing this wasn’t going to go down well. “Kazbrekistan.”
“Kazbrekistan? Are you kidding me?” Travis stepped away so he could pace back and forth.
Not a good sign.
“Yes, I mean, no, I’m not kidding you.”
He spun and pointed at her. “You are not going there.”
Caren felt her temper stir. “You can’t actually tell me what to do, Travis.”
“I can when you belong to me. That body is mine. That brain is mine. All of you is mine. And I won’t have you getting blown to bits by going into some fucking war zone with only that dick to protect you.”
“River isn’t a dick,” she protested. “And I’m not helpless. I can keep myself safe.”
“Do you travel armed?” he demanded.
She bit her lip.
“Yeah. I didn’t think so.”
“Sometimes having a gun can make a situation worse.”
He simply shook his head and started muttering to himself.
“Then what do you suggest I do?” she finally asked.
“Not go.”
Caren sighed and ran her hand over her face as she felt a headache start to form.
“Hey. You okay?” he asked, coming back over to cup her chin in his hand.
“Not exactly. It’s like someone dangling everything you ever wanted in front of your face but then yanking it all away because you can’t pay the price.”
He closed his eyes for a moment, leaning both hands against the wall as he dropped his head. She studied him worriedly. Was this it? Was it over before anything really began?
“I had the biggest crush on you as a teenager,” she told him.
His eyes shot open as he studied her.
“It was pretty pathetic and slightly stalkerish,” she admitted. “Sometimes, I’d hide in the bushes around Lacey’s house and watch you in the swimming pool. I was heartbroken when you got into the marines. I actually cried.”
“Baby,” he murmured.
“So you can see how this is my every dream come to life and I . . . I just can’t let myself hope if you can’t handle what I do.
And I love what I do. But I could probably do less overseas work, stick closer to home.
However, there still might be times I need to go into dangerous situations and if you can’t handle that .
. . I guess it’s best we figure this all out now. ”
“I am not losing you,” he told her fiercely as he cupped her cheeks between his hands. “So we will work this out.”
“Really?” she asked.
“Really. Not sure if I can handle you going to dangerous areas, though. Even with me along to protect you.”
“You want to come with me?”
“Oh, I will be coming with you,” he told her. “But we also might need to find ways that you can do what you love without risking yourself.”
“I could . . . I could try and do that. I’m finding myself less . . . enthused about going to certain parts of the world.”
Ever since she’d met him.
“But how would you come with me?” she asked. “Aren’t you needed here? To run Raptor Inc and Whip It? Sometimes I go away for weeks at a time. Months. I could cut down the time I’m away, though.”
“We can work all of that out,” he told her. “But from now on, you need to leave New York, I’m in the seat by your side. Got me?”
Relief filled her. This could work. The two of them could actually work. Plus, she was certain that she’d be a lot safer with Travis by her side than River. Although she didn’t like the idea of Travis being at risk. “Got it.”
“My beautiful girl.”
She really wasn’t. But she decided she wasn’t going to tell him. If he thought her beautiful . . . well, who was she to protest?
“Hey, why does that make you cry?” he murmured, brushing away a tear.
“I just feel so happy,” she told him. “Like all of my dreams are being answered. That lonely, abused girl never thought you would touch her like this. Never thought she would be right for anyone. That someone might . . . want her. Choose her.”
“Well, I do want her. I do choose her. And she’s mine.”