38. Felicity
felicity
I am in my office when the doorbell rings.
Not thinking anything of it, I walk through my house, glancing into the backyard where Jax and Law are both enjoying the sunshine that is finally reaching this part of the mountain.
The snow is nearly gone now, and forecasts say it is staying gone and to look forward to the spring and summer months to come.
I was ready, and I wasn’t. Because another thing that is coming is a short tour, one where Lawson and I will leave for the tour with a nanny, approved by my incredible midwife, Laura, and Jax will need to stay home for the rodeo school.
None of us, even Ezra, are thrilled about it. But there isn’t much we can do.
Ezra is off the next few days, handling some family matters, so when I open the door expecting someone from the family, my stomach drops when I see who it is.
“Zack?” My tone betrays my bewilderment, and Zack strolls confidently into my house without invitation. I close the door behind him, wondering if there are paparazzi lining the streets.
Zack never does anything without an audience.
“I want to see my son.” His demand is off-putting, but then again, so is his entire being. So it shouldn’t really be a surprise.
“You gave up your rights for that,” I state, crossing my arms and gearing up for a fight. “You shouldn’t even be here. How did you know where I live?”
“My girlfriend told me,” he replies, looking around my house with his nose scrunched. “This isn’t seriously the place you’re raising our son.”
“My son,” I remind him, my eyes wide. I can’t believe he’s here. “And who’s your girlfriend?”
“None of your business.”
I raise a brow at his defense. “I think it is my business, considering you’re standing here in my living room, apparently getting the address from her.”
He sighs, his bright green eyes and bleached hair somehow too bright and overwhelming in this space I’ve created for myself. “We didn’t want to hurt you.”
I raise a brow, waiting without patience. “Who?”
Before he can answer, Jax and Lawson come in the back door. Shaking off the remnants of snow sticking to his boots, Jax looks up and stops in surprise. “Uh…Hi.”
“Who the hell is this?” Zack asks me, raising an accusing finger to Jax.
“This is my boyfriend,” I answer without giving a name since he’s been withholding information as well.
“Why is he holding my son?” Zack asks, marching over to Jax. I move quickly, getting between them both.
“Touch him, and you’re gonna be sorry.” It’s not a great line, but Mama Bear isn’t playing around, and I mean every word of it.
“City, who’s this?” Jax asks, playing nonchalant. He knows exactly who it is, but he was obviously trying to get a rise out of him.
“This is Zack Hoffman, my ex.”
“And?” Zack asks me, eyebrows raised and hands on his hips, waiting for me to fill out the blank.
“And nothing. You signed the paper,” I remind him, wanting to rush to my office and grab the release of rights, the paper I was halfway tempted to frame because of how thrilled I was to receive it.
“Well, I changed my mind,” Zack says, puffing out his chest. His eyes bounce from me to Jax, not even looking at Law, which means he’s not actually here for that. “My girlfriend and I want to have him part-time.”
“That is so not happening,” I say, standing my ground. “You gave him up, Zack. You never once inquired about him or his health. You don’t get to just barge in after months and pretend you give a shit.”
He grits his teeth, pointing at Jax. “Does he have to be here for this conversation? Let’s go get coffee and talk this out, Felicity.”
I look over at Jax, and if he wasn’t in charge of Lawson at that moment, I’m pretty sure Zack would be bleeding in one capacity or another. I bite my lip, thinking over what to do, and sigh.
“I will go with you and talk somewhere else.” Only to get to the bottom of whatever the hell he was talking about.
Zack smirks, and I want to smack it right off of him. “Good, let’s go.”
I turn to Jax, and he gives me a pissed-off look. I shrug. “Just let me go handle this, and then we’ll go to your mom’s for dinner, like we planned.”
Jax seems to relax just a little, his eyes searching mine, but he says, “I don’t trust him, City Girl.”
“I don’t either. I’ll keep you informed, okay?” I lean down, kiss my son’s cheek, and then reciprocate the action with Jax. I can tell he’s really not happy with the situation, but I need to be done with Zack once and for all.
I might have acted differently if it wasn’t for the sketchy way Zack was being.
He’s withholding the information on who he is dating, he’s pretending to give a shit about Lawson when he didn’t even ask to hold him, and not to mention, not once since he found out about the baby through his lawyer did he try to reach out and contact me.
There is something else going on here, and I don’t like it one bit.
With the storm cleared up, it’s easy enough to walk to town, and forcing Zack to wait for me after he insists on driving his car is just the cherry on top.
I meet him inside Belle’s Bakery, taking my time as I decide on a hot coffee and making small talk with Aveline, someone whom I’ve gotten to know since I’ve been home.
When I finally sit down at the little table Zack has chosen, his impatience is blatant on his face. “Finally. You could do without all that crap, you know? Tea is the right choice for a caffeine fix.”
I give him a blank look, lifting my coffee to my lips, never taking my eyes off his to show him that I could give a fuck less what he thinks.
He raises his hands, feigning innocence, like I haven’t known him for years. “I’m just thinking of your career, Felicity.”
I purse my lips, nodding my head sarcastically. “That’s good. It would be a shame to think of me as a human who’s only a few months postpartum, huh?”
“Someone needs to look out for your image. You think that hillbilly guy at your house cares about that? Huh?” He implores me with a look, a look that, maybe a year ago, maybe even longer than that, would have probably worked at making me feel guilty.
“Probably not in the way you think,” I reply, thinking about how Jax would absolutely care if my career was suffering, but he would insist that my mental and physical health is ten times more important than what I look like.
“Exactly,” he replies, blowing out a breath as if we just admitted we were on the same page. He obviously doesn’t understand what I am saying, but I don’t have the energy to fight him.
“Zack, what are you doing here?” I run my fingernail along the edge of my mug, thinking again how adorable it is that this is a coffee house you can get real mugs when Zack tries to make me choke on said coffee.
“I want to be in the baby’s life.” His words are the words every mother of a child should want to hear. If it weren’t for the wary look on his face, I might actually believe him.
I scoff, staring at him, unable to work up my actor’s face for anything in the world. “I’m sorry. I must have heard you wrong.”
“No, we believe it would be good PR if we present a united front.”
Frowning at his use of we , I forge on. “Zack, no one even knows that you’re the father. You waived your rights. They fully believe I have a baby with my boyfriend.”
“It’s for PR,” Zack says, sitting forward. “When you move back to LA, I think you should come live with me.”
“I thought you just said you have a girlfriend.”
“I do.” He hesitates. “But she agrees this is the best move.”
I take a beat, sitting back in my chair, and think about this. “Why on earth does your girlfriend care about my career? And why would you think I care what she thinks?”
He sighs, leaning forward like he wants to take my hands in his. “Because she’s your manager.”
I lift a brow at that, flabbergasted at the thought. “Jeanette is your girlfriend?”
Nodding, he tries—and fails—to look remorseful. “We know that this is going to be shocking to you, and I’m sorry you didn’t know sooner. But we fell in love over the last few months.”
“Over the last few months? Why on earth were you even around each other the last few months?”
He shrugs his shoulders, giving me the small shucks smile that he is known for. “We were both worried about you. Who else would she turn to than the person who knows you best?”
I scoff again, not believing my ears. I couldn’t possibly be hearing what I was. “Knows me best, huh? Well, since you know me best, you must realize that I’m never moving back to LA.”
For the first time since we sat, he pauses. “You’re not?”
“No.” I shake my head. “I’m not. And after this tour, I’m not planning on pursuing another one for a few years.”
“Felicity…” He gasps, acting like every bit the spoiled, snobby Hollywood actor that he is. “That’s going to kill your career. Everything we’ve worked for.”
“No, you don’t get to lump yourself in. Either of you.
” I stand, my blood boiling as I lean forward.
“If you come for my son…” I emphasize the word my, hoping he is getting the picture.
“Then I will come at you with everything I have. It’s probably best, given that I have the best lawyers money can buy, that you leave this one alone. ”
Scoffing, he sits back in his chair. “If you’re not coming back to our life, then what are you going to do?”
I shrug. “Well, first, I’m firing my manager.”
He blinks as if this news is actually shocking to him. He can’t be that clueless, can he?
“Felicity, she was only looking out for you.”
I want to scream at him, point at all the things she’s been doing that so were not “looking out for me,” but then I realize that it isn’t worth it. He’ll never see it that way. He’s selfish and always has been.
“And then,” I continue as if I didn’t hear him. “I’m going to make damn sure you have nothing to do with my kid. Ever.”
He crosses his arms, huffing in his seat. “That was all Jeanette. I’m far too young to raise a kid.”
I raise a brow, looking at him intently. “Zack, do yourself a favor and break up with her. She is in this for fame and fortune, not the best interests of you or me. Also, if you’re serious about what you just said, then please, I am begging you to drop it.”
He shifts in his seat, not replying, and I take a step back. “If I get even a whiff of you trying to take my son from me, it won’t be a good day for you.”
“All right, all right,” he says, sighing and slumping in his chair. He looks around the coffee shop, the facade he’s been keeping in place falling slightly. “How can you stand to live here? It’s so tiny.”
I glance around, smiling at Aveline when she waves, and shrug my shoulders. “It’s home.”
Saying my goodbyes—hopefully for the last time—I step out into the sunshine and breathe. I am glad I gave him a chance to talk to me, otherwise I might not have known that Jeanette is throwing around her opinion, that she is trying to control my life without, well, me.
The first then I do when I’m home will be firing her.
I start my walk, eager to let Jax know all is well, and get going over to his mom’s house. We’ve made a sweet tradition of family dinners every couple of weeks, one that I’m not passing up as long as we are in town.
My head is light and full of hope when I run into a body on the sidewalk. I’m just on the edge of town about to enter my neighborhood. I reach out, catching myself and making sure he doesn’t fall over. He’s hunched over, and I assume he’s elderly.
“I’m so sorry, sir,” I say, making sure he’s all right.
He turns to me, then grins unnaturally. “That’s just fine, dear.”
A hand clamps over my mouth from behind me, and I scream, throwing my arms around and kicking out my legs. The man who I assumed was elderly grabs my ankles, and the two men lift me, walking me toward a car.
Please God, make someone see me! I scratch and punch, slapping the hands that are clamped tightly around my waist, and notice a black SUV.
The back door opens, and the older man climbs in, taking my fighting legs with him.
The body holding me from behind moves me too slickly into the back seat, still holding my upper body.
I kick as hard as I can, finally getting a foot free, and kick up, breaking the older man’s nose.
Then, I bite down on the man’s hand who’s holding my mouth, hearing him cry out.
“Give me the syringe!” the older man says, taking something from the person in the front seat. Or is it two people?
I kick him some more, nailing him in the balls and enjoying the cry he makes from the impact. He leans over me, and the overwhelming scent of marijuana hits me, making me wish I could gag, but the man holding my mouth has it so tight that it’s painful.
Then, a prick in my neck and my limbs slowly stop fighting, stop listening, as if they just can’t anymore, and the world around me goes black.
My last thought is begging Jax to take care of Lawson.