Chapter 14
We don’t turn on any lights when we get back to the RV. Jude walks ahead of me, holding my hand. He hasn’t let go of me once since we turned and headed back here. My whole body is tingling in anticipation. We’ve been dancing around this since the day we met.
It’s hard to believe it’s only been a few days. It feels like I’ve known him a lifetime.
Jude lets go of my hand once we’re in the bedroom, only to flick on one of the bedside lamps. The soft light is enough to see him by, but it doesn’t fill up the room, just a small corner. He comes back around the bed towards me, never taking his eyes from my face.
I expect him to grab me and pull me into him, like he has done the other times we’ve kissed. Instead, he stops in front of me, one hand coming up to smooth my hair back from my neck. His touch is gentle, nothing like how I thought this world-renowned sex symbol would behave.
His hand comes to rest on the side of my neck, his thumb moving over my jaw.
“Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?” he asks in a low voice.
I shake my head. Compliments have never been easy for me. My parents always taught me what is on the outside isn’t as important as what is on the inside.
“It isn’t just your face, Krista. It’s everything about you. You take my breath away.”
My eyes burn as the depth of his words takes over me. The sincerity in his voice is real.
“Kiss me,” I whisper.
He lifts his other hand and cups my face in both his palms, then he leans in and presses his lips to mine. I moan, my hands going to his hips, clutching on to him, anchoring myself to him as our tongues swirl together.
Jude runs his hand down the front of my chest, between my breasts and down over my stomach. His fingers move inside my t-shirt and back up. He takes my breast in his hand and squeezes it. Less gentle than he was before, and it makes me gasp into his mouth. It spurs him on and he tilts my head so he can deepen the kiss. At the same time, he spins me and moves me back towards the bed.
I pull on his shirt, lifting it and Jude gets the idea about what I want. Pulling back, he reaches behind his neck and grabs the shirt, pulling it over his head and tossing it onto the floor. His chest is smooth, muscular and tanned. I run both hands over his chest, down to his abdomen, touching every bump and ridge.
He’s watching me as I explore his body and he sucks in a breath when I bend forward and press my lips to his collarbone, sucking gently. My hands move to his belt, and I undo it as he takes the hem of my shirt and pulls it over my head. His nostrils flare as he takes in the black lace bra. He doesn’t take any time to appreciate it, reaching behind me to unclasp it and drag it down my arms.
His hands take the place of the cups, and his mouth moves to my neck, kissing down my throat. He uses a hand to tilt my head so he can better taste my skin, and I clutch his shoulders.
“Fuck, Krista,” he presses his groin into me, the long length of his hard cock pressing into me, driving me wild with desperation for him.
I open the button and slide down the zipper, slipping my hand inside. He grunts as I rub him through his underwear and he tightens his grip on one of my breasts, making me moan.
“Where are those condoms?” he pauses.
I point to a cabinet closest to the bathroom. He heads over and opens the door, grabbing the bag and tipping it out. The box falls into his hand. The hat drops to his feet.
Jude pauses and looks down at it, then up at me. He bends down and picks it up, staring at the hat.
“Did you get this for me?”
“It was meant to be a joke,” I say, biting my lip.
He walks towards me and tosses the condom box on the bed. As he stares at me, he lifts the hat and sets it on top of his head.
Damn it all to hell. That shouldn’t be so sexy. It was a joke, but my heart rate kicks up even faster.
I reach for his pants again and he comes willingly as I slide his jeans over his hips. His cock is tight to the waistband of his underwear, and I grasp it, making him hiss. He kicks off the jeans with his shoes, then he drags the front of the boxers down, so he is fully bare. He takes my hand and wraps it around the hot, silky skin of his cock, and I slide my hand up and down.
“Shit,” he curses when I roll my thumb around the head.
Jude wraps his hands around my waist and picks me up, walking to the bed. He doesn’t drop me, but lowers me carefully and pulls back, so I lose my grip on him. His eyes move over my body and his words from earlier come back to me.
I feel beautiful right now. He moves closer, and undoes my pants, then peels them down my legs. Then he comes back for my panties. I’m doing everything I can not to writhe on the bed as he kisses a path down my legs, trailing after my panties as he pulls them down.
Planting one knee on the bed between my thighs, he lowers his body over me, lifting my leg and wrapping my thigh around his back. I grip his hair and the hat falls away as he kisses around my breast, then sucks a nipple into his mouth.
He flicks and pulls at my other nipple and I all but lose myself in the sensations, firing straight through my body, all the way down between my thighs. My pussy is clenching, desperate for something to fill it.
Jude must know what I want because his hand goes down between my legs and he uses two fingers to spread me open before he pushes inside. I tilt my head back and cry out as he works his way inside, curling his fingers upwards and hitting a spot that I’ve only ever had my hand or a toy reach.
“You smell fucking amazing,” he groans as his thumb circles my clit.
I’m embarrassingly close to coming on his hand. He watches me, his lip tilting as my breath comes faster. Then he kisses me, adding another finger. Everything in me locks up as the orgasm hits. Jude doesn’t let up with his hand or his mouth as he swallows my moans, owning every part of the climax.
My hands knot in my hair, then clutch at the pillow, and the sheets, grabbing onto anything I can get hold of as the waves of pleasure continue crashing through me.
“That was one,” he whispers in my ear.
Before I can ask what that means, he is gliding down my body. He grips my thighs and lifts them so they’re over his shoulders and then his mouth is on me. No one has ever shown me so much attention or taken care of my pleasure before they’re inside me before.
My hips move on their own, pressing up to him. For a moment, I worry I’m going to suffocate him, but Jude doesn’t seem to care, pushing his tongue inside me, deeper and faster. His grip on my thighs is relentless too, ensuring he’s trapped between them.
“Jude,” I moan his name.
He pauses and looks up at me. His smile isn’t cocky. It's pure sex, and he watches me as he flicks my clit. Our eyes stay locked as he rolls it around his tongue, dipping in and out, and around my clit again.
That does it. Another orgasm takes over and my hips thrust up. Jude moves with me, never stopping as I scream his name.
I drop back down, my arms spread wide on the bedspread, my heart thundering as my pussy flutters. Jude crawls back up and then lies on his side next to me, brushing my hair out of my face.
“Two,” he says as he shuffles up towards the headboard. Taking my arms, he pulls me. “Ride me, Krista. Ride my cock and give me one more.”
Holy fucking shit . I’ve never seen anything sexier than Jude Smallwood, sitting up in my bed, his hand moving up and down over his cock as he watches me with eyes so heavy with desire, I can barely stand it.
Straddling him, he hands me a condom, which I tear open, then roll over him. He grabs onto my hips and raises me, so I’m poised above him. His eyes are on his cock as he guides me, and I lower.
I let out a long, gasping moan as he fills me, pulling me down until he’s fully seated inside me. I’m so sensitive I have to hold still, planting my hands on his chest, squeezing my eyes tight.
“You feel so fucking good,” he whispers. “Like I knew you would. Fucking tight and warm. So sexy. Fuck, I need you to fuck me, Krista. I need you to come all over my cock.”
My hips move, rising and falling as I do as he asks. One hand is firmly clamped on my hip, guiding me, the other goes for my breast again, then his mouth is on the other. I can’t go slow anymore.
I lean forward, my nails raking the skin of his chest, making him grunt. He thrusts up from beneath me, his hips piston faster. He pulls my mouth to his and kisses me, his tongue thrusting as hard as his cock.
In my whole life, I’ve never experienced multiple orgasms, and I’m not expecting any more, despite what Jude is saying. Until he snakes a hand between us, and his thumb nudges my clit. I clench and moan, my back arching, my breasts thrusting towards his face as our lips are ripped apart.
“Yes,” he grunts as the third orgasm takes me.
His cock pulses and he groans long and low, he continues thrusting, prolonging his climax.
“Fuck, Krista. Damn.”
I flop forward onto his chest, spent and breathless. I’m not sure I can move. He runs his hands down my hair, taking it all in one hand and pulling it back off my sweaty neck. When he kisses my temple, it's tender and my heart takes a fall. It should terrify me.
“You okay?” he asks.
“I can’t move,” I answer.
Jude chuckles and runs a hand down my spine, right to the top of my ass. He smooths it over my cheek.
“I can’t do four,” I mutter.
“Not yet anyway,” his low, sexy laugh comes again.
After a few more minutes of catching our breath, Jude taps my hip and I pull back, lifting off him so he can take care of the condom. I should get up and clean up myself, but I’m totally limp. I barely even notice when Jude comes back, the bed dipping as he gets in behind me, pressing up close and slipping one arm around my waist.
I vaguely hear him saying I was worth waiting for, as my lids grow heavy and sleep takes me.
The sky is a light grey when I wake. The windows are tinted, which is good given we never shut the curtains over. Jude’s body is tight beside me. He’s on his back, but his head is turned away from me, his hand shoved under the pillow. The other is resting on my upper thigh, as if he was making sure I didn’t get away from him in the night.
Where the hell am I going to go? And not because this is my RV. As much as it scares me, being with Jude last night, having that intimacy, was right. I should be scared about the way I’m feeling. This is temporary. Jude could never stay with me. This whole thing is a step away from the norm for him.
He will go back to his old life.
I haven’t even told anyone he is travelling with me. Not Emily, not my sister. I don’t know how I’m going to explain him to Drew and Wayne, my friends in Sioux Falls who I have plans with in two days’ time.
Drew will tell me to get what I can from it, because she is all for female empowerment and taking what you want, when you want it. Within reason, of course. A rockstar might be a bit much, even for her. Wayne will be more cautionary. He’ll see the reality of the situation. That it will never work.
Jude turns, inhaling as he moves. He reaches for me, almost instinctively, his arm wrapping around my waist as he burrows into the pillow and my hair.
“This is the best way to wake up,” he mumbles.
“In a bed instead of a pull-out couch,” I joke.
“No,” he runs his hand up my arm and around to cup my breast. “That pull-out is surprisingly comfortable.”
I laugh and turn over so we’re lying face to face. “Why then?”
“You gonna make me say it?”
I lower my eyes and look down at his chest, which is now pressing against mine. His arm moves around my waist, his fingers stroking over the curve of my ass.
“It’s given me some material for the book.” I look back at him and grin.
“I feel so objectified,” he widens his eyes in mock indignation. “But if you need any more help regarding the research aspects,” his hips move and his cock presses into my thigh.
“I do like to ensure I have researched to the best of my ability.”
“Well, it’s a good job I like to perform to the best of my ability then, isn’t it?”
Jude leans back and reaches onto the bedside for a condom. I’m already wet and ready, from the way he looks at me. He deals with getting the condom on, then rolls me onto my back and moves between my legs. I open up to him without hesitation and close my eyes as he thrusts in.
The intensity of his movements is different to the way he was last night. And I am so here for it, gripping his hips to urge him to go harder.
His gaze darkens as he goes up on his knees, gripping the headboard, looming high over me. He stares, using the extra leverage to thrust harder. I’m spiraling hard within a few minutes.
His smirk when I come makes me pinch his ass once I get my wits about me. It knocks him off his stride, making him laugh, but then he sits back on his knees, and pulls my hips up so the backs of my thighs are resting on his. He pumps into me with such focused intensity, all I can do is hold on to his arms until he finds his own release.
He plants one hand on the mattress beside my shoulder as he leans over me again, his chest heaving from the exertion. When he leans down to kiss me, I welcome it, not worrying one bit about morning breath if he isn’t.
“I want to shower with you, but I don’t think it’s feasible.”
“Nope.” I stretch my arms as he gets up.
“That’s some bullshit,” he mumbles as he disappears into the bathroom.
He makes me smile.
I feel deliciously sore. I can’t help the shiver that runs through me. Jude Smallwood is in my bed. Wanting me to shower with him. How is this my life right now?
Reality sets in when I use the other bathroom. I can’t get attached. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt like this, and that is going to make it so much harder to let go when the time comes.
The sense of calm I get when I’m around him is addictive. Talking to him is fast becoming one of my favorite things to do. Having him in my space was terrifying, but he made me relax, feel comfortable having a stranger with me on this trip.
My family and friends are going to think I’m crazy. How I am going to explain what is between us is beyond me.
I’m a happy, content person by nature. It’s the life I have created for myself, marching to the beat of my own drum. I stopped conforming to industry standards when I dropped my publisher. I took the path I wanted to take. Jude needs that in his life, and I think being around me is rubbing off on him a little. I fear when he returns to LA, he’ll lose it again, but I hope he won’t.
He deserves better than he’s been dealt the last couple of years. He hasn’t elaborated on the full deal with this Cody guy. I guess knowing a large part of the pressure the band has been placed under because of their manager, will be gone now. Sure, they have the investigation to deal with, and the consequences of the money they’ve lost, but I don’t think Jude will be concerned with that.
In the future, they can make things better without Cody there. That is a huge part of the problem resolved for him.
I hate questioning myself or the situations I’m in, but part of me is still amazed he’s stuck around. The problem with Cody is a big deal and his band mates have asked him to come back. I don’t think he only stuck around because he knew we were getting closer, flirting around one another. Now the inevitable has happened, is he going to leave?
Somehow, I know that isn’t true. Even when he is in the height of his own issues, trying to figure everything out, he gives a lot of himself. He’s the type of person who holds true to a commitment. It’s obvious from how he kept doing the shows he was being forced into when he shouldn’t have been.
Am I right to hold him to staying with me? Not that I’ve asked him, or even invited him along. I can’t help but feel jealous of the friends in his life, the ones he will go back to when this is over. The ones who get to be around him.
We won’t ever have that.
I’m scared it’s too late for my stupid heart. And what’s scarier, I knew it before the sex. It’s true what they say, sex always complicates things. I can’t fall for a guy I can never be with.
I have to see this for what it is, and a relationship it is not.