Reckless

Chapter 19

Her friends are nice. Drew is open and friendly, probes a little, but nothing personal. Wayne is more guarded, but when I looked him up, I realized why. He’s had his own share of family drama and dirty laundry being aired. Nothing he’s done. It’s more his older brother, and the youngest.

Luckily, Xander didn’t leave the club with the rest of us. I’ve come across guys like him before. Likes to play the fool, the incessant flirt, but I get the impression there is more behind it when he looks at Krista.

He’s good at hiding it and she wouldn’t believe me if I told her. From a guy’s perspective, it’s pretty fucking obvious. I’m glad he stayed away most of the night. I take comfort in knowing she’s been around him for years and never gone there.

Their house is impressive. Krista tells me all about the pool and how she’s looking forward to taking a dip tomorrow. Now, that is something I wouldn’t mind seeing.

We haven’t talked about the band. We haven’t been alone since I showed up at the club. I didn’t let that stop me from getting what I wanted. That she let me, on the dancefloor in her friend’s club, shocked the hell out of me.

I’m not sure what came over me. I’ve never done anything like that before. I lose my head when I’m around her.

Fortunately, Wayne’s exclusive room in his nightclub is safer than any place I’ve been before. The security alone was impressive. Not one person cared who I was. No one approached me for an autograph or tried to take a picture. It was refreshing.

Wayne makes us drinks while the women disappear somewhere, giggling in that way female best friends do.

The den is homey, with lots of plush couches and throw cushions, but it’s decorated in a manly style. There is a TV that takes up most of the wall over the open fireplace. Drew put on music through a hidden sound system when we arrived. 'By The Way' by the Chili Peppers is playing in the background.

I can’t even guess at how much this place cost to build. My house in LA is huge, but it could fit in this place three times over.

When we pulled up in the limo, I’d glanced at the RV parked off to the side of the garages. As nice as these guys are, I’d give anything to get in it and drive away. I’ve been around too many people for the last twenty-four hours and don’t like it.

Being alone with Krista in the RV is all I can think about. Not just to take her to bed, though that has crossed my mind more than once tonight. Just being there with her, while she writes, or drives, or we talk about the things we’re going to see at our next stop has become a comfort for me.

Wayne hands me a glass of amber liquid and tells me it's Scotch from his family’s distillery. I thank him and he sits opposite me. He’s undone the top two buttons of his shirt and rolled his sleeves up. I have no fucking clue how he managed the whole night in a hot club wearing a full suit.

He’s the epitome of a cool billionaire, but I’m not intimidated. In fact, I’ve been waiting for this moment all night. Not with bated breath.

“I’m not gonna give you the speech, you can relax,” Wayne surprises me. “Krista makes her own choices.”

“I appreciate that.”

“All I will say is, treat her with respect. And don’t underestimate her. She can deal with you better than I ever could if you wrong her.”

“You know, I don’t doubt that.” I raise my scotch at him, then take a drink. He sips his.

“Despite being late and disappointing her, unintentionally or otherwise, I can tell you’re not just some player taking advantage of her.”

“You saw all that tonight?” He barely came near us.

“I see things.” He crosses his ankle over his knee.

Fuck, did he mean on the dancefloor? No, he doesn’t know me well enough to joke about that. It hurts to know he saw her disappointed. I could fucking throttle Ethan all over again.

The label sent someone straight out to talk to the club owner, who somehow was convinced to drop the charges. He was brought to the hotel to get his ass yelled at, then taken back to LA.

Sol didn’t see him. I convinced her it was best not to add fuel to the already raging fire consuming our reputation. And she wasn’t in the best mood to confront her dickhead brother anyway.

Before I left, she swore me to secrecy about the pregnancy. When I asked her what she was going to do about the baby, she looked so lost. I gave her another hug, hoping my silent reassurance is enough for her to know whatever she chooses, I’ll support her.

It’s impossible for me to imagine Solene with a baby. Any of us, for that matter.

At least now I understand why she is so upset about all the changes. If she keeps the baby, it will be her who makes the most drastic change to the band. She will not be touring while heavily pregnant, or after giving birth.

And what of the father? I’ve been trying to come up with ways to find out who he is. Luther can do it. He can retrace her steps, check the cameras at the casino, or use facial recognition. If we can track him down, we should. Solene didn’t want to talk about him.

Wayne doesn’t need to say I disappointed Krista today. I know I did. It was totally unintentional, and Krista will understand that. I know her well enough to tell when she’s really pissed off or upset.

That wasn’t the impression I got when I first saw her stepping out of that limo. The jealousy shit, I’m going to push out of my head. Do I even deserve to be jealous? Fuck, yes I do.

“So, do you have plans beyond the road trip?” Wayne asks, breaking me out of my darkening thoughts about kicking Xander’s ass if he comes near Krista.

“Nothing solid,” I tell him. I’m kind of hoping to extend my stay. I’ll keep that to myself.

“Do you have family?”

“Besides the band, yeah, my parents and two brothers. I can’t remember the last time I saw my youngest brother in person.”

“Sometimes that’s how life works,” Wayne shrugs. “My family never fucking leave me alone,” he rolls his eyes. “Except for Henry. He’s the oldest. He’s gone off grid.”

“You don’t know where he is?” I ask.

“We do, but he doesn’t stay in touch.”

“You don’t seem worried,” I observe. Wayne doesn’t look as if much bothers him.

“Not worried, mildly concerned. It’s gone on long enough, the hiding.”

My eyes narrow as he swallows more whiskey. Reading between the lines, is Wayne insinuating I’m using Krista to hide from my problems, the way his brother is hiding from his? I pretend not to get that.

“I’m sure he’ll open back up when the time is right,” I say.

“Yeah. I’m sure he will. So, Jude, do you play poker?”

“Oh no, not tonight,” Drew walks in behind me, shaking her finger at her husband. “No poker.”

“Why not?” he asks, all mock defensive.

“Because you have an unhealthy problem with wanting to take everyone’s money.”

“It’s how I roll, babe,” he grins. Drew sits down on his lap and his hand automatically goes around her waist. His smile is genuine and full of love as he looks up at his wife.

I turn in the seat, looking for Krista. She’s carrying two bags of chips and a bottle of beer. She sits down beside me and hands me the bottle. Eyeing her up and down, I can’t keep the dismayed look off my face.

“What?” she asks.

“You changed. I was looking forward to peeling you out of that dress,” I whisper close to her ear.

Her lips pinch together in a coy little grin. “Maybe this is better,” she whispers back.

“How so?”

She leans in close. “I’m not wearing any underwear.”

I have to clear my throat and shift on the couch. I’m almost tempted to pick her up and run out of here. She got what she wanted with that comment.

“Do you play poker, Jude?”

Drew huffs at Wayne but looks over at me.

“Sorry to tell you, I’m one of those lame guys who doesn’t play cards. Gambling isn’t something I’m in to.”

“No money needs to cross hands,” Wayne says.

“Wouldn’t matter either way. I don’t know how to play poker.”

“Well, you’re with the right person then,” Drew grins. “Krista’s idea of bluffing is so bad even a blind man could see it.”

“Hey,” Krista cries. “That isn’t true.”

“She cheats too,” Wayne drawls.

Krista turns to me, her eyes wide like she is about to tell me they’re lying, then she grins. “I wouldn’t if we were playing for money.”

“You cheat?” I let my mouth drop open.

“It’s called bluffing.”

“No, it’s called cheating,” Wayne laughs.

They tell me stories about Krista. It’s fun and I learn a hell of a lot about her. And I enjoy how she blushes a lot, especially when I give her knowing smiles or say she can’t be capable of some of the things they’re describing.

All the while, I’m imagining getting her back to the room. Given her declaration of wearing no underwear.

Fortunately, Drew nods off, her head lolling on Wayne’s shoulder. She got off his lap a while ago, but they’re never far from one another, always touching.

Watching them together hits me differently to how I usually see couples in love. A quick glance at Krista tells me the reason. Being around her is all I want. Even when I was trying to help Solene, Krista wasn’t far from my mind.

Wayne gets up and takes his wife’s hand, helping her up and grinning at her as she gives me a sleepy smile. It’s a massive shock to my system when it hits me.

I want that too. That closeness and assurance that the person you want to be with the most, feels the same way.

How can Krista and I ever have something like that? I haven’t even known her a week. It’s insane. I’ve been in love before, twice, but it’s never been the kind of love that passes between Drew and Wayne.

Isn’t it something that everyone wants, eventually? To be loved? To be in love? Finding that one person you want to spend the rest of your life with isn’t easy. I’m still not convinced it is going to happen to me any time soon. Yet, I’m more open to the idea of it.

It’s hard to find. Wayne and Drew are the lucky ones.

We’re a perfunctory second thought to them now and Drew waves as they leave the room. Krista has a dreamy smile on her face as she watches them. Is she thinking the same thing as I am?

“Want to go to bed?” I ask, taking her glass and setting both of them down on the table.

“Thought you’d never ask,” she gets up and takes my hand, tugging me up too.

“Is it wrong that I want to go back to the RV?”

“Yes, and you’ll agree when you see our room.”

As she turns away, she can’t hide the look on her face. She liked I said that. A lot.

She’s not wrong, the bedroom is impressive, but it’s nothing I haven’t seen before in any number of hotels all around the world

And it’s not as impressive as her tits when I peel the t-shirt off her. Or the throaty laugh she lets out when I grab the back of her thighs and pick her up, walking us straight into the bathroom. One benefit of this place. I can fuck her in the shower for as long as I want.

We set off mid-afternoon from Wayne and Drew’s place. I was more than ready to leave. Not that I didn’t like them. I was eager to get back on the road. We haven’t talked much about Ethan. I got the impression she wants to draw me back away from that negativity. Not without making sure I am okay and offering to talk about it if I need to.

I want to get back on track, on fixing myself and not worrying about anything else. Though Solene is on my mind. If there is anything I regret about walking away right now, it’s leaving her when she is vulnerable. She told me to go, that she is okay. So long as I answer her calls, which I swore I would do.

Riggs is with her, though that is a whole other story she refused to discuss with me. I’m not stupid. There is something going on there and she needs to talk about it, but I can’t force it.

Krista interrupts my thoughts.

“Can you play any other instruments? Besides the guitar, I mean.”

I don’t take my eyes off the road. I’m taking this seriously, given she is letting me drive the RV. She got us close to the interstate, then let me take over as we head into Minnesota. Our destination here is Lake Superior, stopping off at different places along the way. Then we will swing through Wisconsin and down to Eastern Iowa.

That will be where I am due to leave her and go back to LA. I push that out of my head.

We’ve been listening to music for a while, each picking a song from our respective play lists and talking about why we like it.

It’s crazy to me I’ve been in the music industry for so long, but I’ve never done something like this before. Talking about the songs I love, and the reasons they evoke certain emotions in me. Also taking the time to listen and understand how someone else feels about the music they enjoy.

My current pick is ending. ‘Moving’ by Supergrass. It’s another new to her band, and she liked it, especially the British accent.

“Piano,” I tell her.

“For real?”

“Why so surprised?” I chance a quick look at her.

“I don’t know. Which is very judgmental of me. I guess I just can't imagine a rockstar playing the piano.”

“There is a lot of piano in rock.”

“That’s true,” she thinks a moment. “Like Queen.”

“Sure. And Muse use the piano in most of their music.”

“I’m going to make it my next mission to find a piano somewhere and listen to you play.”

“I said I could play it, not that I’m that good. It’s been years since I played a piano.”

“Surely it’s like riding a bike.”

“Maybe,” I shrug.

Mom got me the piano lessons when she saw where my music tastes were going. Dad thought she was crazy. Dad’s love of grunge and rock fueled what I listened to.

“Okay, my pick,” she grabs her phone and scrolls for a while, then announces the song. “ ‘The Beginning’ by Snow Patrol.”

“New.”

She beams. I’ve realized she enjoys introducing me to new music. We’ve adopted the ‘new’ and ‘old’ descriptors for when we’ve heard it before, or if it’s new to us.

She starts the song playing, then sits back and puts her feet up on the dashboard, crossing her ankles. I love she loves wearing shorts. It’s a pretty fucking sweet view.

Krista is introducing me to a lot of music I haven’t listened to before, and I love that. I’m not the kind of guy who only listens to one genre. I love all kinds of music.

In fact, I’ve added a ton of songs she’s recommended to my playlist. A lot of For King and Country, they have an impressive back catalog.

Concentrating on the song, I listen to the lyrics, and I’m sucked in by the message behind them. The more I listen, the more I wonder at how astute Krista is.

It fits how my life is going perfectly right now. How it feels like I’ve fucked up in my life, how I don’t understand who I am and want to make things better, but I’m afraid of reaching for it. Afraid of finding something, or someone, but not knowing how to deal with it.

She is sitting quietly, watching through the window as we drive along. Traffic has been slow going for a few miles now and I glance at the gas gauge. We should stop soon. We’re heading to an RV park outside of Minneapolis before going into the city itself. Krista offered not to go to big cities, but I’m willing to take a risk so she can do the things she had on her itinerary.

I’m not here to mess things up or have her change her plans. My goal is to find a bookstore and buy one of her books. I haven’t told her. She might think it’s weird I want to read one of her books. I could wait until I’m back in LA, but don’t want to. Her writing is a huge part of who she is, and I want to devour everything about her.

I point out about the gas, and she consults her map to find the next rest stop. As we’re nearing it, and it’s her pick again, she chooses Cutting Crew’s ‘I Just Died in Your Arms.’ We sing along together, me tapping the steering wheel, her swaying in her seat like she’s at a concert.

Krista commends me on my skill getting the RV to the pump. We slip into the roles that are becoming automatic now. I pump gas while she goes into the store to get anything we need.

I relinquish control on the last leg into Minneapolis and she puts on Jason Mraz’s 'Butterfly' from the We Sing, We Dance, We Steal Things album.

"Krista?" I call from my position on the sofa. It’s amazing how tiring it gets driving long distance and I have a new appreciation for our tour bus drivers when we’re on the road.

"Yeah?"

"Is he referring to a ladies pussy as a butterfly? Is this song about sex?"

She doesn't say anything but I see her shoulders move up and down as she laughs. I grin and lean back, closing my eyes. A little while later, I’m surprised I’d gone into such a deep sleep when she wakes me.

“We’re here. I’m gonna grill some burgers for dinner.”

“Let me.” I sit up and rub my eyes. “You should take it easy. Do some writing.”

As I head to the kitchen and she goes to get her laptop, her phone flashes with an incoming text as I pass it. I’m not spying, my attention goes to the phone because it makes a whistling sound and the screen lights up.

‘Xander.’

My pulse spikes and my jaw tightens. Irrational anger consumes me.

Why the fuck is he texting her?