Reckless

Chapter 20

Jude is different after I come back. He’s quiet and keeps his back to me. I’m tired so don’t want to ask him what’s up. I’m sure he’s thinking things through that have happened over the last couple of days. I’ve tried to give him his space with all of that and let him bring it up in his own time if he wants to.

Instead of dwelling on his different mood, I lose myself in the writing. He’s quiet through dinner, but keeps looking over at the kitchen counter. At first, I’m not sure what he’s so fascinated with, then notice my phone. Weird.

While I wash the dishes, I grab the phone and unlock it. There is a text from Xander. That’s odd. He rarely texts me. It came in earlier when Jude was cooking.

Is that what his mood change is about? It can’t be. He wouldn’t read my messages.

Xander

Sorry I missed you leaving. I came around but Drew said you left earlier. It was great seeing you. You look good, I wanted to say last night, but never got a chance. Drew said you’re in Chicago soon. I’m meeting with some investors so could set it up at the same time if you want to grab a drink x

I re-read the message a few times, trying to compute. The tone is easy going I guess, but there are definite undertones to it. Xander is an incessant flirt, he always has been. Is this because of Jude?

That’s ridiculous. The way Jude looked at him when we got out of that limo springs to mind. I couldn’t see Xander’s reaction because I was far too focused on the man leaning up against the wall, waiting for me. He made himself scarce once we got inside. I thought nothing further of it.

Jude is sitting on the couch playing his guitar. Having that in the background has been a nice accompaniment to my getting on with the book, especially when he sings. I love his voice and that we are both here in our own bubbles, but comfortable enough with one another to still be creative.

I drain the water from the sink and after the last dish has been put away, I head over to him. Jude doesn’t look up. Not until I’m standing right in front of him.

“You okay?” he asks, setting the guitar down on the couch beside him.

“I’m fine. Are you?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“You didn’t see my phone earlier?”

He inhales through his nose, a flicker of guilt crosses his face, annoyance follows but he wipes it away as fast. Oh jeez, did he read it? There will be a small preview of the message. I scramble to recall how the text started. Sorry I missed you…

“It’s none of my business.”

“Is that what you think, Jude?”

He shrugs. I need him to be honest with me. Whatever is going on between us has always been based on honesty. This is different because to say he’s jealous means a hell of a lot more than us being on this journey together for a short time.

You weren’t honest with him about how it made you feel when he left to meet Solene. That crosses my mind and I realize we might have a problem. One I’ve been struggling with since our first kiss.

“I didn’t read it, if that’s what you’re worried about. I only saw his name.”

“I’m not accusing you of anything,” I say quietly.

His hand comes up and reaches behind me, touching the bare skin at the back of my leg. It scorches me. His touch elicits something visceral in me. I’ve never reacted to anyone this way before, like electricity is being charged from his skin to mine.

“He’s into you,” Jude looks up at me.

“It isn’t reciprocated.”

“No?”

I shake my head.

He goes quiet as he works through it, and how he wants to react. It’s damn hard but I wait him out.

“He’s in your life. I’m not.”

“You’re here now.”

“Now…” he huffs out a quick breath and looks to the front of the RV.

I run a hand through the thick curls on the top of his head, drawing his focus back to me. He squeezes my thigh. We should talk about this. We’ve not defined what this is, and it’s becoming obvious every passing day we need to.

It can’t be anything more than the time we agreed to. He will go back to his life. I’ve convinced myself to enjoy it while it lasts and once it’s over, we’ll go our separate ways and this will all be a memory.

I’ve been kidding myself. Obviously.

I move closer and he spreads his legs wider to let me fit in between them. He presses his forehead into my stomach, letting out another deep breath.

The air around us crackles. The right thing to do is step back, talk, get it out in the open, but sometimes actions speak louder than words.

My body is saying something different to my head. And my heart. The confusion clears when he looks up at me.

Without another thought, I drop to my knees. Jude leans in and kisses me like he’s starved and the only thing that can satisfy him is my mouth. I welcome it, clutching his hair tighter.

He stares at me when I pull back, then lowers his eyes to watch me reach for the button on his jeans. His breathing becomes more labored as I encourage him to raise his hips so I can pull them down. I leave them halfway down his thighs and gently push him so he is lying back.

His cock is rock hard and straining behind his underwear, which I free and it slaps against his lower stomach. I focus there as I lift it up, gliding a hand up and down. His sharp intake of breath is loud in the silence of the RV, as I duck down and suck him inside my mouth.

I take my time lowering down as far as I can go without choking, hollowing in my cheeks, and breathing through my nose. His hand comes to the back of my head, but he doesn’t push me. He lightly grips my hair, gathering it into a ponytail so he can watch as I move up and down on his cock.

Where I can’t reach, I grip in my fist and move it up and down in rhythm with my mouth, and revel in the noises he makes, the faster and tighter I suck him.

I’m so turned on I have to clench my thighs together and resist the urge to push my hand into my panties and give myself the relief I so desperately need. As if he can read my mind, Jude sits up and cups my breast, kneading it through my shirt.

He’s breathing even harder as he tilts my head by pulling on my hair, but he thrusts up at the same time. He doesn’t want me to stop. When he pushes his hand into my shorts and panties, I stutter as he touches my clit, swirling it under his fingers, before dipping inside.

The muffled moan has him thrusting up a little harder.

“Shit, sorry,” he grunts when I gag.

I shake my head and keep moving. Faster and harder, and he matches my movements with his fingers. As I sense he’s getting close, his hand comes out of me, and he tugs my hair hard enough to pull me off him. He looks almost feral as he makes me stand and tears at my shorts and panties, dragging them down so they drop to the floor.

Jude kisses my mound, then tongues my clit so briefly it feels like a small jolt. Then he turns me so I’m facing away. He gets up and moves us forward a few steps.

“Hold the counter,” he growls.

I do as he asks, as his hand comes between my legs and his fingers dip into me again. His cock slides between my legs, notching at my opening but gliding up and back.

“I should grab a condom,” he says, one hand squeezing my hips.

It’s on the tip of my tongue to say leave it, but that is stupid and I’m not that sex fogged that I tell him to fuck me without one.

“Stay there, don’t move.”

It’s odd to be half naked, leaning over the kitchen counter, but I wait, like he asked. When he returns, he’s completely naked and I can’t help but drink him in. The condom is in place, and he wastes no time moving back behind me. He tugs off my t-shirt and unclasps my bra as his cock moves along the crack of my ass, sliding between my cheeks.

He moves away only far enough so he can grab his cock and push it further forward. Jude lightly knocks my ankle with his foot, and I spread wider as he spears inside me. My hips thrust forward, making me cry out, Jude takes hold of my hips and keeps me steady as he thrusts into me.

“Jude,” I moan.

“Fuck, say it again,” he leans forward and kisses my neck.

“Jude,” I breathe out.

“Hold on tight, I can’t fucking go slow.”

I push back against his hips, and he grunts, then moves faster. His balls slapping against me as our hips come together over and over.

“Having my cock in your mouth is fucking heaven, but nothing compares to your pussy.”

My heart hammers and I clench him harder at those words. I’m not used to men talking during sex. The growl of his voice is doing all kinds of things to me, along with the thrust of his cock inside me.

I wish I could see him, watch how his body works as he moves, but he has me so firmly fixed in place I couldn’t and don’t want to get out of his grip.

“This fucking pussy.” He reaches around and touches my clit. “I could fuck it forever and never get enough.”

“Harder,” I strain out.

Jude obliges. He leans back and thrusts harder, slamming me against the counter. It doesn’t take long before I’m going over the cliff, mindless as the pleasure tears through me and I come hard. I may have screamed as he praises me, until he cries out my name and pushes hard against my hips, holding himself still as he spills into me.

I flop forward onto the counter, out of it. When he pulls out, I miss the feel of him inside me. Slowly, I turn to face him. Jude cups both of my cheeks and looks deep into my eyes.

“What the fuck are you doing to me?” he whispers.

I’m too scared to answer. He leans in and kisses me, then he bends and sweeps me up in his arms and walks us back to the couch. I wrap my arms around his neck and lean into him. He sits so I’m straddling his thighs and cups my cheek.

The way he looks at me has my heart almost stopping.

“What if I don’t leave?” he whispers. When I frown in confusion, he lifts a hand and strokes my cheek. “In nine days. What if I don’t leave?”

“You mean, stay… Until Chicago?”

He nods. My heart kicks up again, and I put a hand against my chest.

“I’d say… can you do that?”

“Can I? Yes. Should I? Everyone will say no. But I want to. And isn’t that what’s important? What I want. If you want it too…” he trails off.

Placing my hands on his chest, I lean closer. “What does it mean?” I ask.

“I’m not ready to give up on finding out.”

Be honest, Krista. “I’m not either.”

He smiles, but it’s mixed in with a frown. “The one time we left the RV, went back out into the world, my band mate got arrested and some guy tried to hit on you.”

“No, he didn’t.”

“Yeah, he did. I don’t need to read his text, Krista. And I get it. I mean, you’re perfect.”

He brushes some hair back behind my ear. I clutch his shoulders. What he is saying is wonderful. It’s what every woman longs to hear, but this isn’t a normal situation. We have to be careful.

“He can’t have you.”

My gulp is almost audible.

“I want to stay. But it’s up to you. If you want me to leave when I said I would, then I will go.”

The weight of that decision bears down on me. I stare into his eyes and think back over the last week of my life. I’ve been happier than I’ve been in a long time. He’s intrigued me. He’s gotten under my skin. We’ve clicked in ways I didn’t think possible.

“I don’t want you to go.”

His relief is immediate. His thumb moves over my cheekbone, gently sweeping over the skin. He doesn’t say anything else, as he presses a kiss to my lips, then pulls back.

“We’re naked,” he states.

“I know.”

“That was a heavy conversation for two naked people.”

I can’t help but laugh. He never says what I think he is going to say. There should be more to this conversation. But I don’t want to have it. I just want to have him.

“It’s cold. What do you say we go be naked under the covers?” I suggest.

Jude tweaks my nipple, which is already hard. Then he cups my breast and bends down to bite the nipple, making me shiver.

“Sounds like a fine idea.”

“It will draw more attention, if I’m being honest.”

“Really?” Jude looks back at the mirror. He adjusts the hat. “It makes me look fierce.”

I slap his bare ass and laugh then go to walk away, but he grabs my wrist, pulling me backwards and wrapping an arm around my waist. With the other hand, he takes off the cowboy hat and plonks it down on my head.

We’ve spent the last few hours in bed, alternately wrapped around each other, or talking and watching the sun disappear on the horizon through the bedroom window. Jude has made me come more times in one night than I have during the entire course of some past relationships.

“If you go out like this, it will take all the attention off me,” he grins as I pull away from him and go into the bedroom. I glimpse the hat in the mirror on the closet door.

“Me wearing this hat?”

“No. You wearing that hat with a top I can see your nipples through, and a pair of panties that say Wednesday on them. You know it’s Sunday, right?”

“Get me some cowboy boots and you’re on,” I wink. “And mom always said I was a rebel.” I pat my ass where the words are scrawled across my butt cheeks on the back of my underwear.

Jude lays back on the bed and puts his hands behind his head. He’s still gloriously and unashamedly naked. I can’t help but ogle him as he watches me take the hat off and drop it on the end of the bed. With great effort, I draw my eyes up to his face.

“Back to our earlier conversation. That hat doesn’t make you blend in. If anything, it will draw more attention. It’s too sexy.”

“Is that so?” He looks smug as hell. “A ball cap works, but a cowboy hat doesn’t?”

“You can’t walk down any street in any city in the US without seeing at least a dozen guys in a baseball cap. How many do you see in cowboy hats?” I crawl onto the bed, moving over his lower legs to get to my side.

My side?

“What if I get a different hat? Like… a Sombrero.”

“In Minnesota? Even in the summer, you sometimes need a woolly hat up in the north.”

“A ski-mask?”

“That would draw different attention.” I get under the covers and lean over to turn out the light. The lamp on his side is still on. “We don’t have to go into the city, if it’s a problem.”

“It’s fine. The shorter hair, the beard, one of those lumberjack shirts I wouldn’t be caught dead in on a normal day, no one will know it’s me.”

“Well, don’t take any chances.”

“It’ll be fine,” he rolls over, tucking one arm under his cheek.

“I’ve got us a rental. It’s easier to get around the city in a car. It’s being dropped off here in the morning.”

“You think of everything.” He tugs on the sheet, so it goes down around my waist.

I’m still wearing the thin sleep shirt but he’s right, my nipples are erect and obvious beneath the fabric. I’ve done everything within my power not to stare down his body. I’m not sure how I’ve managed it. He has a beautiful body, to go with his beautiful face and, whether he would agree or not, his beautiful mind.

My greedy eyes go there now, following the long, lean lines of his torso, the ridges of his abdomen and the dip of his hip bones, that tantalizing V shape pointing down to the good stuff. His cock is straining, hard and thick, lying against his upper thigh.

“Oh,” I suck in my bottom lip.

No one has looked at me the way Jude is looking at me now. It’s as if he is seeing inside of my mind, trying to figure out what I’m thinking. He picks up one of my hands and brings it to his mouth, kissing my fingertips.

He rolls onto his back again and the momentum and him holding my hand has me moving too. It’s obvious what he wants, but I take my time, moving slowly on to my knees, making sure he sees as I give his body another sweep.

“You tease,” he murmurs.

My smile is devious. I’m only prolonging my agony. Sex with Jude Smallwood is fast becoming an addiction. I lift one leg and slide onto his lap.

A flood of heat pools between my legs. I can’t believe how much I want him and how ready we both are for one another. It’s dangerous and delicious and I will not overthink this anymore.

“Take what you want, Krista,” he murmurs, running his hands up my thighs, dipping into the sides of my panties, moving beneath the fabric squeezing my ass. His grip tightens, and he holds me still, giving me a serious look. “Do one thing for me first.”

My feverish brain stalls. “What?”

He smirks. “Put on the hat.”