26. BELLA
26
BELLA
I ached for Chris. I needed him in ways I hadn’t ever needed him before.
Or maybe it was in ways I’d always needed him, I just hadn’t wanted to admit to it. There was something so raw and so vulnerable about his confession. That he’d felt he wasn’t good enough all these years… he was one of the four Blackwood Boys. They had a huge empire, a hell of a reputation, and to not feel like he was enough was almost unfathomable.
But now that he’d told me, it was like something between us had cracked wide open. His raw insides were showing, and it was so much more lovable than he realized.
If only he knew exactly how precious he was, how perfect, and that his flaws didn’t make him wrong, it made him who he was.
And who he was, was who I loved.
I cupped his cheeks and kissed him, and our kiss turned fiery quickly. Our tongues sparred with each other, breathing hot and heavy and the heat that never really seemed to leave my body when I was around him reached a new high-point, pooling between my legs.
I needed him inside me. I wanted him as close as I could possibly get him, erase the past between us that had gone so wrong and be with him the way we should be.
Chris had always been the guy I saw as my Forever, and no matter how much I’d fought it over the past few days, not much had changed.
His hand snaked around my back, tugging up my pajama shirt to expose my naked skin.
I wasn’t wearing anything sexy—an oversized T-shirt and men’s boxers—because it was a lot more comfortable than those lingerie gowns a lot of women wear.
But Chris didn’t seem to be turned off by my attire. He moaned at the back of his throat when he flattened his hand against my skin and his touch branded me.
He slid his hand into the waistband of the boxers, cupping my ass, pulling me against him and his cock was hard in his pants—proof that I wasn’t the only one on the verge of spontaneously combusting.
Chris slid his hand around my front and between my legs. I wasn’t wearing anything else.
“God, you’re so fucking sexy in this,” he murmured when he pushed his fingers into my wet folds.
“Yeah, every man’s dream is to see a woman wearing men’s boxers.”
He chuckled against my mouth. “It’s easy access, babe. We’re simple creatures.”
While he said it, he pushed his fingers into me, and I gasped in response.
He pumped his fingers in and out a few times before he pushed me back against the cabin wall. It wasn’t far—the cabin wasn’t a very big room—and he tugged down the boxers so that they fell to the floor. When I was bottomless, I lifted my leg, giving him more, and Chris groaned.
“You have no idea how fucking hot you are.” He gasped. “How much I fucking needed this,” he added in a hoarse voice, and I had a feeling he meant it in the same way I did—that being this close was what he craved. The physical side of things was incredible. But the emotional connection we shared was something very different. In the decade we’d been apart I’d had my fair share of relationships and one-night stands, and I’d never felt what I felt with Chris.
He kissed me, his tongue pushing into my mouth again and his fingers found my clit. I moaned against his lips while he worked me into a frenzy.
His mouth was still on mine, swallowing my cries, and when he let me go, I was gasping for breath.
He dropped to his knees and pulled my legs open wider.
“Chris,” I gasped, but he didn’t give me time to say whatever I’d thought I was going to say. Our staff quarters were close to each other, the walls weren’t incredibly thick and he was my boss. But the moment his mouth closed on my clit, all I could do was moan and give myself over to the sensation. He’d always been able to do that to me, to make me come undone at the seams.
I reached down and knotted my fingers in his hair, pulling him closer as he worked his tongue over my clit. He didn’t stop, didn’t slow. I moaned, trying to be quiet, but it was so fucking hard when he was pushing me toward the edge like this already.
As if it wasn’t enough, Chris pushed his fingers back into me again. I gasped, tipping my head back against the wall and a delicious shudder ran through my body. His fingers pumped into me, curling and uncurling in a rhythmic motion and his tongue flicked over my clit.
My body was wound tight like a spring. Every muscle was tense and tight. My knees threatened to buckle, and Chris was the only thing keeping me upright. The pleasure came to a point, an orgasm washed over me and I cried out, struggling to stay silent in the wake of his pure bliss. I squeezed my eyes shut and rode out the waves of pure ecstasy, letting myself be transported to a plane of pure bliss.
Chris’s touch disappeared and I sagged against the wall, my knees weak and shaky, but when I looked at him, I saw he’d already kicked off his pants and pulled his shirt over his head.
My breath hitched at the sight of his toned chest. I’d seen him without his shirt before, seen him naked countless times, but I could never get used to the sight of him. He was an Adonis, chiseled as fuck, and just the sight of him was enough to leave me staring and drooling.
As soon as my body had recovered from the mind-numbing orgasm, Chris’s hands were back on me, grabbing my legs, pulling me against him.
With one arm hooked around my waist and the other supporting me underneath, Chris lifted me up and carried me the two steps to the bed.
The air was knocked out of me when he threw me onto the mattress.
My body was hypersensitive and the light sheets beneath me felt rough. Chris stood at the end of the bed and stared down at me, and his gaze made me feel sexy. I lifted myself and pulled off the T-shirt so that I was completely naked. I wanted him to look at every inch of me.
His eyes swept over me, slowly drinking me in, and I relished the feel of it. His stare was like a physical touch and I shivered.
“I don’t have a condom,” he said simply.
“It’s okay,” I said and opened the drawer in the built-in nightstand, finding one he could use.
He arched an eyebrow at me but said nothing while he tore open the foil and wrapped himself up. Watching him handle himself, rolling the rubber down his thick cock, handling his own sex with practiced ease was delicious and made me want him more. There was something about a man touching himself, handling himself, that made me tremble and Chris was already sex on a stick.
He climbed onto the bed, crawling toward me, and I opened my legs for him, pulling him on top of me. I wrapped my legs around his waist, pulling him against me and his thick cock lay against my stomach, searing hot.
“I need you,” I said softly.
“Are you okay?”
I nodded, catching my breath.
“Yeah, don’t worry,” I said. “You won’t break me.” I knew that wasn’t what he was referring to. This was a lot more emotional than before, but in that case I should have been the one to ask him if he was okay, not the other way around. Still, I kept it lighthearted.
He laughed. “Good.”
I reached down and curled my fingers around his thick shaft, guiding him into me, and Chris didn’t waste a moment. He pushed himself in and we both groaned in pleasure.
He leaned forward, kissing me, swallowing my cry.
We didn’t need words, the connection was so deep. I could tell that he was just as overwhelmed with emotion, that this meant the same thing to him that it did to me.
He pulled out and pushed into me again, his hips rolling, and we fell into a rhythm that had us gasping.
“Oh, fuck, babe,” Chris growled. “You feel so fucking good.”
We moved together, our bodies fitting like puzzle pieces, and Chris’s hands were everywhere, roaming, touching, caressing.
It wasn’t the first time we were having sex. Not even close. But this time, it was different. The last time, it had been about lust and need.
But this time, there was more.
“Mmmm, yeah, that’s right,” he moaned as his cock continued thrusting inside me, filling me.
I had no words to describe what I was feeling. My body was overwhelmed with pleasure, my mind was spinning, and it wasn’t just physical.
I tangled my fingers in Chris’s hair and he dipped his head, kissing me as he slowed his thrusting for a moment. I got lost in him. The taste, the feel. The way he made me feel like I was one half of a whole and when we were together, the picture was complete. I’d always known he was the man I wanted to marry, but I’d never felt like he was on completely the same page as I was.
This time, everything was different.
Chris broke the kiss and bucked his hips again, moving faster and faster. I cried out and he reared up on top of me, arms planted on either side of my head as he thrust into me. His hips slapped against mine as he fucked me, and with every thrust he pushed me closer and closer to another orgasm. My body tightened in all the right places, pleasure washing over me, and I whimpered and mewled, muttering his name.
“Yes,” he groaned. “Say my name.”
I was barely coherent, but I tried my best, repeating his name over and over again, as if it were a mantra.
And then the orgasm exploded inside me. I arched my back, curling beneath Chris as I let the orgasm take over.
Chris moaned, bucking his hips. He moved faster, riding out my orgasm, and I squeezed him tightly, not wanting him to ever leave.
When my orgasm faded, I breathed hard, laying on the bed in a puddle of sweat and pure bliss.
Chris pulled out of me and rolled onto his back, and I didn’t need an invitation. I rolled over and straddled his hips, and I reached between my legs to find his cock, hard and slick with our sex.
Slowly, I lowered myself onto it and we groaned in unison as he filled me. He stretched me, making me feel so full, and I shuddered and trembled around him.
When I braced my hands on his chest, I rocked back and forth on him, and his hand came down to my waist, guiding me, controlling the movement.
“Come here,” he growled, and I leaned forward, pressing my chest against his.
I could feel the muscles in his stomach tightening beneath my touch and I rocked my hips faster and faster. Chris grunted, his lips parted and a look of pure sexual pleasure crossed his face. He looked at me with eyes that were bluer than blue, and we locked eyes while I rode him. My clit rubbed against his pubic bone and he hit all the right spots inside of me—it didn’t take long before I was trembling again, teetering on the edge of yet another orgasm.
He groaned and bucked his hips, meeting every movement, and his hands roamed my body, cupping my ass, squeezing it before they traveled to my breasts.
I rocked on top of him, losing control. I couldn’t get enough, and when Chris’s fingers closed over my nipples, twisting and teasing them, I cried out.
The orgasm hit me like a freight train and I couldn’t hold back.
It was a powerful orgasm and Chris grunted, gripping my waist, holding onto me as his own orgasm took hold, too.
“Oh, fuck,” he gasped.
I was still riding the wave, still enjoying the bliss when Chris grunted, bucking his hips and his cock twitched and throbbed inside me. I was filled with a fresh wave of pleasure, knowing he was coming and it was because of me.
We rode out the wave of pleasure together, and it took a while before we finally came down from our sexual high. I collapsed on top of Chris, lying on his chest, our hearts hammering against each other. My breathing came in shallow gasps as I tried to regain my breath.
Chris ran his fingers up and down my back and the sensation was soothing. I loved having him this close to me, with nothing between us, nothing holding us back from being anything other than what we were.
I didn’t know how long we lay there.
“I have to get some sleep,” I finally whispered. “Otherwise I’ll be dead on my feet when I’m on duty later.”
“I should probably go,” Chris said.
I nodded. I didn’t want him to, but if the others started to wake up and they saw him coming out of my cabin, there would be no question what was going on here.
Chris disappeared into my small bathroom and came out a moment later sans condom. He pulled his clothes on again.
I sat up in bed, not bothering to cover up. I had nothing to hide from him.
“Don’t disappear on me again,” I said.
“I’m not going anywhere.”
“I don’t just mean physically.”
Chris stopped, his shirt still open, and he came to the bed.
“I won’t,” he said, and he kissed me. The kiss was deep, and I slid my hand over his naked chest.
“If we really want this to work, we can make it happen,” I said when he finally broke the kiss. “But don’t run.”
Chris nodded. “I’m not the same guy I was all those years ago, sweetheart. Things are different now. I like to think that somewhere along the way I grew up.”
I tilted my head. “I don’t know… men mature really slowly.”
Chris chuckled and shook his head. “Nice.”
I laughed. “All jokes aside, though, I think you’ve changed, too.”
He buttoned up his shirt, glancing at his watch, and he was already slipping back into work mode. That calm, relaxed, vulnerable Chris that I’d just seen was slowly disappearing and that already scared me.
But I wasn’t going to ask him to be the version he was with me when he was with everyone else. No one was completely open and raw to the outside world. I just had to make sure I didn’t overthink it.
“I’ll see you later?” I asked.
“Yeah,” Chris said. He leaned down for another quick kiss. “And until then, I’ll miss you.”
I smiled and he winked at me, flashing a smile that showed that same Chris again, reassuring me that he wasn’t gone. This wasn’t just a one-night—or one-morning—thing.
When he left my cabin, he shut the door behind him and I sighed, falling back onto my bed. My body hummed with pure pleasure and I could still feel him throbbing between my legs.
God, everything with Chris was so fucking fantastic. I just hoped he realized I was here for the bad times, too. Not just the good. All I wanted was for Chris to be open with me, to be honest about who he was and what he felt.
There wasn’t anything we couldn’t conquer if we were just open with each other.
You’re one to talk , a small voice offered at the back of my mind, but I squashed it very quickly.
Doing something wrong for the right reason made it right.
Didn’t it?