27. CHRIS
27
CHRIS
“ H ey, man,” I said, clapping my hand into my brother’s.
Ben had chosen a place called Le Bleu Ciel—a classic Monaco spot, one of those restaurants that leaned heavily on its waterfront view and artistic plating to justify the ridiculous prices. The setting had all the hallmarks of luxury: linen tablecloths, gleaming silverware, and servers dressed like they were auditioning for a fine dining commercial.
The seating hostess knew who we were—of course—and took us to a table on the terrace, with a perfect view of the yachts swaying gently in the marina. I hadn’t really noticed this place before but I had to admit, it was fucking impressive.
Ben settled into his seat, giving the waiter a nod. “Let’s keep it simple, eh? Steak frites and a couple of beers. None of that fancy bullshit.” He grinned at me.
I chuckled, shaking my head. “You know we’re in Monaco, right? The only thing simple here is how much they want to drain your wallet.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Ben said, waving me off. “Just shut up and enjoy it. Places where people splurge completely get a bit much. I just want a steak or something simple, none of those small bites where you never get full but it’s supposed to be a culinary journey.”
I leaned back, glancing around the terrace. It was full of well-dressed people, tourists pretending they belonged, and locals pretending the rest of us didn’t. I caught sight of the waiter coming back, balancing a couple of beers on a tray, and I let out a small sigh of relief. At least there’d be alcohol. I needed it a hell of a lot more than I would admit.
Not only because my feelings were bugging me, but because I was nursing a bitch of a hangover and it was time to bite the dog that bit me.
We clinked our glasses together, Ben giving me a knowing look over the rim of his pint. “So, you and Bella, huh?”
I rolled my eyes, taking a long drink. “Yeah, something like that.”
Ben smirked. “Gonna need more than that, bro. I thought you said you were totally over her. You spent the better part of a decade convincing us that you were, trying to prove it by picking up chicks… None of us bought it, of course.”
“You’re an ass,” I said, but I was laughing.
“Come on,” Ben said. “What’s the deal?”
I shrugged, trying to keep my voice casual. “We’re… figuring it out. Taking it slow. No pressure, no expectations. Just… seeing where it goes.”
Ben raised an eyebrow, his smirk turning into a full-blown grin. “Taking it slow, huh? You sound like a goddamn romance novel. Since when is that your modus operandi?”
I snorted. “Fuck you, Ben. I’m serious. Last time, it all went to shit because I pushed too hard, tried to make something happen when we weren’t ready and I scared myself. I’m not doing that again. Slow and steady wins the race, right? We only just hooked up again. We have time.”
“Yeah, I guess you do,” Ben said, leaning forward.
“I feel a ‘but’ coming.”
“No, no, that’s it,” Ben said, but he hesitated. “But…if you know who you wanna be with, why drag it out? You think it’s gonna hurt less if you take your time? If you’re in, be all in.” I wanted to laugh at him dragging this stupid ‘but’ out, but his words hit me and they were everything but a joke.
I looked down at my beer, swirling it around in the glass. “It’s not that simple. I just… I need to make sure I don’t screw it up, Ben. Make sure I don’t get hurt, you know? But more importantly, make sure I don’t hurt her. I can’t walk that road again. It won’t be fair to either of us.”
“What was the problem before?”
I hesitated. I’d been open with Bella, telling her that I didn’t feel good enough—how the fuck I’d managed to actually put that into words was a miracle in itself—but I wasn’t nearly at a place where I was willing to admit it to anyone else.
I just shrugged.
“If the problem that was there before is still there now, things aren’t going to be different.”
“Since when did you become such a relationship expert?” I snapped.
Ben held up his hands in defense. “I’m just saying, you can’t ignore facts. I tried with Sofia but it doesn’t work if you do it that way. The only way to get past the hard stuff is through it. There’s no way around it.”
“We’ll be fine,” I said. “I know you and Alex both got your happily ever after in a snap, but that doesn’t mean that it always has to be that way, you know. One day at a time. Slow and steady.”
“Right, right.” Ben let out a low whistle, shaking his head. “Man, you’re such a pussy sometimes. You think you’re protecting yourself, but you’re just making it harder. And what about Bella? You think she wants to take it slow, or is she just going along with it because she’s scared of getting hurt, too?”
I clenched my jaw, the words hitting a little too close to home. “I don’t know, alright? I’m just… doing the best I can.”
“Yeah, well,” Ben said, taking another sip of his beer, “you might wanna think about what’s best for her, too. Not just you.”
I stayed quiet, the words sinking in. He was right—I knew that. But it was easier said than done. I’d already screwed things up once, and the last thing I wanted was to do it again. I wasn’t sure I could handle it if I lost her for good.
The waiter arrived with our food—two plates of steak frites. It was the perfect complement to the beer and a wonderful nurse to my slowly subsiding hangover. Ben dug in without hesitation, and I followed suit, the conversation shifting to safer territory as we ate.
Thank fuck.
It wasn’t long, though, before Ben brought us back around, this time with the focus on business. That was what he was here for, after all. When shit hit the fan with those fucking rumors, he and Alex had flown out immediately and nights out on the time, drinking and laughing, didn’t negate the fact that we were buried under a pile of shit that we had to somehow dig our way out of.
He put down his fork, eyeing me across the table. “So, about the business… These rumors, man. We gotta figure this out. I don’t have to remind you what’s at stake here. Our shareholders are on the fucking verge of leaving and the company can’t take that kind of blow right now. Not after how much we put into going green and reconfiguring everything we do.”
He didn’t have to remind me. Alex had been the one to push for going green when his wife, Charlotte, had made him aware of leaving a better world behind for our kids and the pivot had cost us a metric fuck ton of money.
That would come back in spades if we sold some of our yachts here, but that wasn’t going to happen if people thought it would be buying into a fad that would go out again as quickly as it came in, and if our shareholders pulled their backing at the same time… Ben and Alex had reason to worry.
Hell, I was fucking sick to my stomach about this bullshit.
I tensed, my appetite vanishing as the familiar weight settled in my chest. “Yeah, I know it’s a tough one. But I’ve got it under control.”
“Do you?” Ben asked, his voice skeptical. “Because these aren’t just whispers, Chris. People are starting to take them seriously. It doesn’t matter if there’s truth behind it, it just matters how the jury sees it. You know? You really think you can handle this?”
I forced a smile, trying to keep my voice steady. “Of course I can. I’ve been dealing with shit like this my whole life.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Ben said. “I know you’re good at what you do. But this is serious and it’s worse because we don’t know where the hell it came from. I’m pretty fucking sure Moretti is behind it, but we can’t prove anything. And even if we could… I don’t know if everyone would listen, everyone would realize there’s no real danger here.”
“I know,” I said grimly. “I’ll figure it out. I don’t know where the rumors came from either, but I’m not about to let some two-bit snake ruin everything we’ve built. And if it’s real and there’s truth behind it… well, we’ll figure that out, too.”
But even as I said the words, I could feel the doubt gnawing at me, the fear that maybe I wasn’t enough. Maybe I was in over my head, and I just didn’t want to admit it. I wasn’t about to tell Ben that, though. I wasn’t about to let him see how much this was getting to me. It was bad enough that I’d blurted it out to Bella, but I knew that she would do whatever it took to protect my heart. My brothers weren’t always so kind. The business, after all, was just as important as family, and Ben wasn’t going to mince his words when it came down to facts.
Ben gave me a long look, his expression softening slightly. “You know, it’s okay to ask for help. We’re in this together. You don’t have to do it alone.”
I swallowed, nodding. “Yeah, I know. But I’ve got it, alright? I just need a little more time to figure what the fuck is going on.” Not that I’d been completely focused on business lately, but that was beside the point. I would be focused on it now.
He sighed, leaning back in his chair. “Alright, bro. Just… don’t let your pride get in the way. We might be pains in your ass, and we fight like brothers do. But we’re here for you, whether you like it or not.”
I let out a small laugh, shaking my head. “Yeah, yeah. I’ll keep that in mind.”
We finished our meal, the conversation drifting back to lighter topics—old stories, teasing jabs, anything that didn’t involve business or Bella or the weight of everything hanging over us. And for a while, it was easy to pretend that everything was fine, that I wasn’t scared shitless about the future, that I wasn’t still trying to figure out how the hell to be the kind of man Bella deserved.
Or the company deserved.
But they did say “fake it until you make it” and I wasn’t about to admit to anyone that I wasn’t as in control as I wanted them to believe. I would figure something out, and hope to God that I didn’t crash and burn in the process.