Chapter 14 Sevan
Sevan
“Give me your ass again,” I mutter softly, still half-asleep, fumbling in front of me with my eyes closed. I want to push my morning wood up against Weston’s ass and it’s gone missing, suddenly, and in my sleepy state I’m very annoyed by that.
But when I squint and open my eyes, I immediately realize the mistake we’ve made.
Weston’s wide awake.
And there’s panic on his face.
I can already hear the sound of Mom loading up the coffee machine out in the kitchen.
“Holy shit,” Wes mumbles.
I sigh. “Don’t kill me.”
“You fell asleep in here?” he says, his voice rising many decibels.
“If you start talking that loudly then it’s only going to be worse, Wes. Relax.”
He groans.
I get up, run my hands through my hair to make it look less sloppy, and glance back at Wes.
“Just go,” he says.
“You sure you don’t want to fuck real quick first?”
He looks like he’s about to explode, and the corner of my mouth comes up in a wicked grin.
“I know I did a nice thing for you yesterday, but that doesn’t mean I won’t murder you today,” Wes says.
“I was joking, Sheriff. We’re fine.”
I step out into the hall and quietly close the door behind me.
I make my way out into the kitchen and just past Mom, over in the corner, is Niko. Standing up, bright-eyed and very awake, already wolfing down a banana.
“Yo,” Niko says. “Where’d you go?”
“I got up early as fuck. Went to go take care of some stuff.”
Niko can tell it’s at least partly bullshit.
I don’t think he realizes that ten minutes ago, I was happily grinding my erection up against Weston’s ass in bed, but he’s still slightly suspicious about something.
“Morning, sweetie,” Mom says to me. “Going to take Coco for her morning walk.”
“Have fun,” I tell her. “I’m going to heat up those cinnamon rolls the guys brought over.”
“See you in fifteen,” Mom says before giving me a kiss on the cheek and heading out. It seems like she didn’t notice I was gone from the living room, so that’s one small problem solved.
Niko’s still peering at me with a quizzical look on his face, and I ignore him, heading toward the fridge to get the cinnamon rolls out.
The honest truth is that right now, I wouldn’t care if he knew.
I’d walk out here and tell Niko I slept with Wes if it were only up to me, but I know Weston is shy. I get the sense that he’s never liked hookups, and that he hates the idea of his personal business being spread around Onyx guys.
“This is your phone, right?” Niko asks me as I’m preheating the oven, and I glance over to see him looking at my phone on top of the counter.
I’m expecting the worst.
Maybe Wes sent me a dick pic, and Niko saw the preview. Or maybe it’s a text saying whatever you do, don’t tell Niko our dirty, fucked-up little secret.
But when I reach over to grab my phone I forget about all of it.
What’s on the screen is very different.
And a lot worse.
Kieran’s texting me, and it’s accompanied by an image of him. It’s his face, bruised and bloody on one side.
I drop the pan of cinnamon rolls onto the counter and the clatter fills the room.
Kieran: Guess which Onyx brother did this to me?
What the hell happened, Kier?
Roman Petrov couldn’t handle it when I confronted him. He has a shiner even worse than mine, though.
I told you not to escalate things. We do not want another frat war.
Think it’s too late for that.
I lock my phone and shove it away, already running through every way that this is nothing but bad.
“What in the fresh hell was that?” Niko asks.
I clench my jaw. “It’s Kieran. He’s flipping his lid on Roman Petrov, apparently.”
“Shit. Everything goes wrong on the one night we leave campus?”
“Kieran’s been a nightmare this semester. To put it lightly.”
The tension building up with Kieran already felt like a faulty dam that was about to burst. Now, it’s going to be worse.
Roman has reasons to hate him.
To hate us.
I’ve had my issues with Onyx, but I don’t want anyone getting expelled. And if Kieran is talking with other Double Daggers guys, getting them pissed and ready to retaliate… I have no idea what could happen.
To me.
To Wes, either.
Niko’s approaching me now, holding out his phone this time. My stomach twists into a bitter knot.
Roman’s probably texting him similar shit.
Onyx is probably ready to start a war from the other side.
“Um… Sev? Is this as creepy as I think it is?”
Niko shows me a few texts he received last night from an unknown number.
The first ones are awful, containing more toxic, veiled homophobic shit like the comment I heard made about him at that party.
The last one is the creepiest, though.
Unknown: How much money did you end up with, after all, Niko? Do you actually think you deserve all of it? I was more of a son to your father than you were. Maybe I’m entitled to what’s mine.
I frown. “Money you didn’t deserve?”
Niko sighs. “I recently got my final payout from my father. When he died. It has to be something relating to that.”
“Jesus Christ,” I mutter. “So whoever this guy is, he knew your guys’ father?”
Wes peeks out from the edge of the hallway, a very concerned look on his face. “If he knew our father, then we can’t take his threats lightly.”
“Fuck. Fuck this shit,” I say under my breath.
I’ve never been happier that I have zero relation to that side of Niko’s family.
Weston’s father was a terrible person, and it’s clear that Niko is right. This stranger had some association with that evil prick.
“Sev,” Niko says. “You don’t think Kieran is… working with whoever this stranger is, do you?”
“Can you both please clue me in on what the hell is going down?” Wes protests.
I nod solemnly. “I’ll tell you on the drive back, Weston. Niko, I’m going to ride back to campus with Wes, understand?”
“Fine with me.”
I run my fingers through my hair. “We’re going to eat these cinnamon rolls and pretend everything is okay when my mom gets home.
Period. End of story. I don’t need her worrying about me when she’s got her own shit.
Then we’re going to go back to campus and fix shit, so that frat wars never fucking happen again. ”
They agree, and as Wes walks over toward the kitchen counter, I let myself run my palm along his back, trying to comfort him even though I know he’s confused.
Niko can’t see me doing it from this angle, but even if he did, I wouldn’t give a shit.
I need to touch him, right now.
Because he needs to know everything is okay, and maybe I fucking do, too.
Breakfast is a blur.
Mom is sweet, like she always is. I try to hold in my anger, but inside I feel like I’m constantly two seconds away from snapping.
Wes touches my thigh under the breakfast table, though, and it’s a tiny reminder that there’s at least one thing I don’t hate right now.
Fancy that.
The person who used to be the biggest problem is now the only one who can keep me sane.
I retrieve my grandfather’s watch for Wes before we go. He slides it on and it fits him well, and all I want to do is go back to last night and freeze time there.
I liked spending the night with someone.
Without even having sex.
And I’d probably feel a lot weirder about that if I didn’t have a fucking fire to put out back on campus right now.
We all pack up and I tell Mom that she has to call me anytime she’s feeling even slightly lonely. But I trust her, now. I trust that things are better for her. If I were to be expelled from Crimson College, that would seriously disappoint her, but… I’m not going to let that happen.
“Good luck on your project, sweetheart,” she tells me as she hugs me outside. “I know you’re going to get first place. You’re good at building cars, big or small.”
After everyone says their goodbyes, I slide into the driver’s side of my Mustang and Weston gets into the passenger seat.
“What project is she talking about?”
“Hm?” I ask. “Oh. It’s a dumb engineering competition. I’m making a small air-powered little car.”
“That sounds cool.”
“It’s nothing. My advanced mech professor pushed me to enter the competition, but it’s a pain in my ass, honestly.”
“Is there going to be a prize?”
“We have to present our projects on stage, and there will be judges. Like I said, I don’t really care.”
His eyes widen a little, though, when I glance over at him after putting the key in the ignition.
“I want to go watch the competition,” he says. “Whenever it happens. I’m sure all the guys would love to see what you built.”
“It’s boring shit, Wes. Trust me. And I’m pretty sure your Onyx friends aren’t going to want anything to do with me after what happened.”
As we start the drive, I tell Weston everything Kieran texted me.
He’s just as concerned as I am. Maybe more.
For some reason Wes seems to think this is his fault, even though it has nothing to do with him, and he does that thing where he acts like he has to be the one to swoop in and handle it for everyone else.
We’re silent for a while near the end of the trip, listening to the low sound of the radio in the car.
“I don’t want anyone getting hurt anymore,” Wes says when we’re easing off the highway and close to campus.
“I know you don’t. And no one will be hurt. Okay?”
He doesn’t seem convinced. I pull up to a red light and glance over at him.
“I hope so,” he says softly.
It pains me to see that look on his face.
The somber expression that I used to always think was a detached smugness doesn’t seem anything like that to me, now.
I know Weston’s trauma better now.
I know that all he wants is peace.
And yet again, there’s something threatening that. It makes me angry in a way that almost feels uncontrollable.
Weston doesn’t deserve anything like this.
“I’ll take care of Kieran,” I tell him, keeping my tone even. “I know I’ve never given you any reason to trust me, but I’m going to fucking fix this, Weston.”
He stays looking out the front windshield. “Not everything’s that easy to fix.”
I wish, so fucking deeply in my bones, that I could say he was wrong.
But Weston’s not wrong.
He never is, really.
And as I sit there at a red light I feel a quiet storm taking hold in me.
Why are you so fucking good? I think as I glance over at him, in a way that makes me angry.
Angry at the world for all of the bad things that have happened to Wes.
Angry at the fact that I was part of that problem, for so long, assuming things about him that were way off-base and making myself his enemy.
I could have had him earlier, and I wasn’t even aware of it.
Is that what I want?
To “have” him?
I feel like I’ve been let off of some invisible leash. After the light turns green I veer over into an empty gas station parking lot at the side of the road, and I throw my Mustang into park.
Wes looks over at me, confused for an instant.
I unbuckle my seat belt and lean over, holding his jaw gently for a moment.
He looks confused, but I don’t explain.
And I let myself look at the blue of his eyes, reflecting in the midmorning sun, before I crush my lips to his. It’s hurried and unexpected, and he gasps softly as I kiss him.
Shouldn’t be doing this, I think idly, somewhere in the back of my mind.
But I pull him as close as I can anyway, in the awkward angle in the front seat of the car, trying to channel everything I feel into a kiss.
I pull back, staying close to his face just for a moment. A little trail of fear coils through me, the same conditioning I’ve had running through my veins for a lifetime.
I have to defuse things.
Have to stay on my own island, like a lone wolf.
“If either of us gets hurt or expelled, then that means I won’t be able to fuck you anymore. We can’t have that, right?” I joke.
It’s a feeble attempt to lighten the mood.
He at least gives me a gentle half-smile, even though I can tell my joke didn’t do much to hide how intense I truly feel.
But as I lean back into the driver’s seat and put my seat belt back on, my head is swirling.
Maybe I’m not actually afraid of anyone getting expelled.
Maybe I know that I can fix this shit between Kieran and Roman, and what I’m actually afraid of is something much more subtle.
I meant those words more than you even realize, Wes.
Maybe I’m starting to need you.
And it scares me to feel anything close to that.