Chapter 20 Sev
Sev
“I’m fine. Glorious, honestly,” Noah says from the hospital bed.
“Perfectly fine, and that’s why your face looks like an ink blot right now?” Weston asks him, slightly teasing him but hovering over his bed like he’s a worried, loving parent. “You didn’t have to try to protect me, Noah.”
The low beeping sound of the heart monitor fills the air as Weston puts the back of his hand to Noah’s forehead for the third time in a row.
I don’t know what my heart feels every time I look at Wes.
A mix of guilt, deep empathy, and disbelief swirls through me like a potent fog.
There are so many questions that are still unanswered, and both of us had secrets. But right now, all I care about is making sure Wes knows I was never truly spying on him.
And that nothing between us has been fake, in any fucking way.
“I’m sorry, guys,” Noah says, shifting in the bed. “I had too much to drink. Obviously. I’m… I’m a fucking shitshow.”
“It’s okay, Noah.”
We’ve been in the room for at least an hour now. The nurse and doctor have confirmed that his nose is broken, but it’s not as bad as I thought based on what I saw out on the deck.
It will heal up with time, and he won’t need major surgery. The doctor said he passed out due to shock, with no signs of any substances in his system other than some alcohol.
Noah’s expression falls, and he looks down at his hands as he bites the inside of his cheek.
“I ended up screwing up the dinner for all of you. I was trying to help when I came outside, not ruin the whole night.”
Wes gives him a pointed look. “Kieran was the problem, not you. You were the least of our issues tonight, Noah. Promise. You do need to take care of yourself, though. In more ways than one.”
Noah’s eyes glisten like he’s about to cry but he won’t let himself, due to misplaced pride or something else.
“I need to do better,” he whispers.
“Grabbed water,” Niko says as he walks into the room with Oliver by his side. He’s carrying a little plastic tray with water cups for each of us, and he still looks a little bit shellshocked, but mostly okay.
“Thank you,” Wes says, grabbing one and draining the whole glass in just a few gulps.
A nurse comes by soon after, giving a polite smile to all of us surrounding Noah’s bed.
“I’d like to speak with Noah one-on-one for a bit if you guys don’t mind,” the nurse says.
“Come on. Let’s give them some space,” Weston says, herding the rest of us in standard Frat Dad fashion, leading everyone out into the waiting space outside the room.
The waiting area isn’t too bad.
The chairs have cushioning, at least.
And for the first time all night, I have a moment to breathe.
Weston stays standing up instead of taking a seat next to Ollie and Niko. He looks down at his phone, tapping around, and when I approach him he doesn’t look up to meet my eyes.
Even under the fluorescent hospital lights, Wes looks so… sturdy.
Like nothing could be bothering him, even though I know everything is.
His shirt collar is opened a little wider now, but he still looks like he belongs on a red carpet rather than in a wing of a hospital.
“I took care of it,” he says when I’m at his side.
“Of what?”
He pulls in a long breath and finally glances up at me.
“Transferred my upper limit to that motherfucker who doesn’t deserve it.”
I clench my jaw.
“You said you want me to hurt him for you, Weston. Let me do something. Anything so that he doesn’t get off scot-free by blackmailing you.”
“It’s done, Sev,” he says, his tone final. “I’m not letting him ruin the lives of over thirty other people for a personal vendetta.”
“It shouldn’t have to be this way.”
His eyes look sad. “You can find someone else to spy on now, Sev. Why keep up the act with me any longer?”
“It’s not like that, Wes. I never told Kieran a single thing. You know I wouldn’t lie to you.”
“Weston?” the nurse’s voice calls out as she pokes her head out, opening the door to the hospital room.
“That’s me,” he says.
“Noah wants you in the room with him.”
She disappears back into the room and before Wes can walk off, I reach out and clasp his hand in mine.
I bring it to my lips, kissing the back of his hand.
Niko, Ollie, Hunter, and Rayne could potentially see us. All of them are on the other side of the waiting room, but I don’t bother checking.
“This is real for me,” I tell him. “And nothing ever has been before.”
“It’s real for me, too,” he says softly.
But the blue of his eyes is still stormy, like he’s caught in anguish he can’t understand.
He pulls his hand from mine and walks off, closing the door behind him without looking back at me.
When I look at my phone while I wait outside the room, I find that it’s littered with messages from Kieran.
Kieran: Need updates, please.
I didn’t mean to hurt Noah. Not that bad. I’ll figure out some way to pay for his medical bills.
Who the fuck was that guy? And are the Onyx dudes bribing people or not?
There was so much blood on the ground, Sev. What happened?
Call me.
I don’t want any of this.
I don’t want to give Kieran any information about Wes, or Thorne, or anything that happened.
I want all of this to stop.
The Onyx guys were busy ensuring that we *will* get the internship offers this year, but you were too busy flying off the handle to let me tell you.
I need to make everything right.
Fix things.
Like I always do.
But instead I’m the one who broke the person I care about most.
The person I used to hate, who I can’t hate at all, anymore.
I ease my Mustang back onto Red Row after driving aimlessly for far too long.
It’s much later. Noah was discharged from the hospital, and the other guys brought him home.
The sky is inky black with a thin layer of fog at the base of the world, spring’s humidity sinking into a misty chill. The streets around campus are already starting to thin out, now, after everyone has already headed home from parties.
I check the clock and see that it’s nearly four in the morning.
The moment Noah was released from the hospital and we all left, I headed straight for my car, hoping I could avoid running into Kieran for the rest of the night. I told Weston to call me the moment Noah goes to sleep, but I haven’t heard a thing.
I’ve been driving ever since, not knowing where I’m going at all.
Numb.
Unfeeling.
Or maybe feeling so fucking much that I can’t even let myself stop and think about it, or I’ll feel trapped, caged, stuck like I was for months before this.
My foot barely hits the gas pedal as I drive down Red Row, letting gravity do most of the work. The front of Onyx House is dark as I drive past it, with only the front lanterns still glowing.
I used to love nights like this.
Me and the purr of my car’s engine, still awake while the rest of the world wasn’t.
I can’t even remember how that used to feel.
My heart twists as I approach the Double Daggers house. I can see even from the outside that the light is still on in the front room downstairs, as well as in Kieran’s window upstairs.
But that slips from my notice completely when I see a crouched figure at the edge of the parking lot.
As my headlights hit the side of the house, he looks up.
Wes is sitting there.
Stooped at the bottom of the side staircase in our front lawn.
He reaches up to give me a feeble wave. He’s in his fuzzy hoodie now, and he looks at me with a weary expression, my headlights bright on his face.
And the grip on my heart seems to slowly unclench, just a little, for the first time all night.