55. CHAPTER FIFTY-ONE
Not giving into Eoghan’s sexual advances was one of the hardest things I’d ever done. I wanted him so damn bad, but I had to sit through an office meeting with Daniel’s watchful eyes on me.
I cock my head to acknowledge his stare, but he shakes it away and spends the rest of the meeting looking everywhere but at me.
What the heck was that about? Oh God, does he know? Does he have a spy who saw me with Eoghan last Friday night?
Johnny hasn’t responded. I am trying to accept that he’s moved on. Maybe he did see me with Eoghan and…
I literally slap my forehead when a plausible answer comes to me. Johnny must have figured out who Eoghan is. Johnny had a powerful vibe to him. He may very well be one of the many mafia outlets’ hitmen or someone else connected to them. Mafia organizations hide behind legitimate businesses and many innocent people can work for them and not realize it.
I shiver to think I let a killer fuck me.
Two, no less.
I went from not having anyone touch me, to going so far over to the dark side that I’m blind. Blind with lust for a man, no, two men, who are both dangerous.
A thought jolts through me.
Eoghan…
Johnny…
No, it’s not possible. They don’t sound alike. They don’t smell alike. They don’t look alike.
But I’ve not seen Johnny’s face.
That was your request…I remind myself.
And they used different condoms.
It doesn’t matter. Johnny is gone.
I drive home, thinking about that nice bottle of Pinot Grigio I have chilling in the fridge.
Tonight, I’ll pour myself a big glass, take a bath, and read the new smutty romance novel for the next book club meeting. With one hand.
I’m nearing the end of my period, but I’m still horny, as I am every month at this time.
Eoghan said he didn’t care about my period. The thought of him taking me while I’m bleeding stirs something primal inside me.
I make a mental note to start my new birth control pills this weekend.
Excited about the night ahead of me, I get inside my apartment, but come to a halt, seeing a figure on my balcony.
“Eoghan?” I say out of hopeful instinct.
It strikes me like an adrenaline shot to the heart… That’s who I want.
That’s. Who. I. Really. Want.
The man on my balcony is dressed all in black, and when he steps into the light, I see the mask.
Then his hand comes up and he slaps a sticky note on the glass door.
Johnny.
When he reaches for the handle, I breathe in relief that it’s locked.
Only, it’s not.
I take off down my hall, but even before I try to slam the bedroom door, he’s there, pushing his way inside.
I asked for this, I can’t back down. Plus, I don’t want to. I want something real with Eoghan but I can’t have him. Johnny only wants this, so…
Walking backward, I stutter, “What are you doing here? You scared me.”
“You’ve been bad, slut,” Johnny growls in that metallic tone I recognize.
I turn to run into my bathroom, but he tackles me, and throws me onto the bed.
“How dare you let another man touch you!” The sexy, old-money drawl is etched with a deep, disapproving fury.
“You saw?”
“I saw everything.”
Everything?
“Where? How?”
His fingers grip my skull. “I’m in your head. I see what you see. You wear it all on your face.”
Did he just have a hunch and let me out myself?
When I don’t say anything, his hands close around my throat.
His perfect, full lips protrude from the mask. I admire them, thinking of Eoghan and how he kisses me even though men like him don’t kiss the women they use only for sex.
“You’ll pay for letting him touch you.” Johnny squeezes my chin and forces me to look at him.
My heart pounds loudly in my ears, and I wonder if he can hear it.
“I’m going to fuck your mouth, and you’re going to take every inch of me down that gorgeous throat.” He reaches for his belt.
I stare, searching to place him. He leaves on his long sleeve black T-shirt, and I wonder why. Is this a man I know? Did he agree to this mask for another reason?
I struggle to make out the color of his eyes. They’re just dark and stormy, lifeless almost. He’s either truly pissed or masterful at playing a wounded fuck-buddy.
All of my senses are on high alert. As Johnny slowly undoes his belt, I smell the leather. I smell everything. His raw maleness and that masculine sweat. His soap, fresh and cottony. I even smell the flowers in my kitchen, ones I picked up over the weekend.
Johnny shucks down his pants, a pair of black cargos, to sit just below his ass. I swallow nervously, seeing he’s hard-as-steel and turned on by our game.
I eye the abnormally large engorged cock and think, my God, this is going to hurt.
I pause to remember I not only wanted this, I begged for it. But I’m still nervous.
Leather. Leather. I can say my safe word at any time, and he’ll stop. Right?
He walks toward me, holding his cock.
“Johnny…” I breathe his name.
“On your knees, Gemma7.”
My eyes lock in on the pillowy, thick head in his grasp. A bead of pearly precum glistens out of the tiny slit. He’s so hard, his cock weeps for my mouth.
That turns me on, and I lick my lips, welcoming the punishment for sleeping with someone else.
Pulling my hair out of its double-twisted bun, Johnny tugs a handful, so my face slants up to his. “I love a good grazing of teeth on my dick, but don’t get any crazy ideas in your head to hurt me.”
I want to say: Or what?
“I’ll do my best, big boy.”
A smile curves the mask where it brackets his mouth.
Still holding a fistful of my hair, he strokes himself up and down, his large thumb massaging the tip. The bead of precum is gone, and I feel empty, because I wanted to taste it.
“Are you ready for me?” His hand slides from my hair to encircle my throat, his thumb putting pressure on my windpipe.
I nod through the fear of not breathing that floods my body.
“Open your mouth,” he gruffly demands.
After biting my lower lip as a last measure, I let my jaw drop open.
A shaky breath escapes Johnny’s throat, as he slowly lowers me, cupping my head until I’m flat on the floor and he’s straddling my mouth.
I should be afraid, I don’t know for certain if he’s giving me my fantasy, or if he’s truly angry that I slept with Eoghan. I feel dirty, but the arousal from wanting to be punished has my center clenching.
He slides his cock past my lips, the veiny length of his shaft rides over my tongue. He growls, “Fuck.”
Saliva drips down my chin, and I’m not sure I can take all of him. He’s so large. If I thought I’d get a full breath and time to brush it away, I couldn’t have been more wrong.
“Relax your throat,” he orders, pushing more of his length inside my mouth.
The throat fucking commences with a hard shove of his cock, the stiff length bumping into the back of my throat.
I gag, and his hand closes around my neck again. “Hold it, slut. God, I feel the head of my dick in your throat. That’s so fucking hot. Now take the entire length of me and give me what I need. You’re being punished. You betrayed me, I deserve this.”
With one hard thrust, he drives his cock down my throat, using my mouth to satisfy his brutal need.
“This fucking mouth,” Johnny grunts, taking his pleasure. Using me. “It’s so warm and wet. And damn, those lips wrapped around my cock look so hot.”
My core tightens with arousal. I’m a dirty-talk junkie!
“Now be a good girl and take what I give you.” Johnny is lost, head thrown back, while he thrusts faster. “Your mouth was made for my cock.”
Every curve of that V pulses, as his hips pivot to destroy my mouth.
“Fuck, I’m gonna come.” His body tenses and his throat muscles stiffen as he lets out a roar.
His salty release coats my mouth. There’s so much, my throat works to swallow it all.
Johnny pulls out, and I twist to face the carpet, gagging and coughing.
Arms wrap around me, immediately. “Breathe through your nose,” he whispers. “Swallow it all down. I won’t let you choke.”
“I’m fine,” I say coldly.
My watery eyes clear and Johnny stands before me. His powerful-looking chest heaves, watching me.
I’m dripping with sticky arousal running down my inner thighs.
“Let me fuck you without a condom.” His thickening dick pulses with every breath he takes.
Shaking my head, I say, “No. I’m not on birth control.”
“Too bad. I didn’t bring one.” He shoves his cock back inside his pants. “Looks like you’re not getting fucked.”
I could suggest other ways to get me off but clearly, he doesn’t care about my pleasure tonight.
“Why didn’t you text me back this weekend?” I murmur, my head pressed into the floor.
Johnny groans. “I was busy.”
“Too busy to reply I’m busy?” I say. “I thought…”
“This is just sex, Gemma. That’s why I can’t let you see my face. We’re both only looking for sex, remember?”
“Right.” I bring my skirt down, and catch him watching me struggle to get it past my thighs.
That’s it.He’s figured out how big I am and doesn’t want me anymore.
“I think we’re done here,” he says, stepping away again.
Feeling hurt and vulnerable, I nod. “I think so.”
“Gemma…” His voice reeks of something familiar. After a grunt, he walks toward my bedroom door while I’m fixated on his shadow against the far wall. “It’s been fun. Go be with that man you really want. I don’t care to be used.”
Different emotions war within me. Warmth and cold trade blows with my heart.
It stings with every strained beat…
With a smile on my face, I whisper… “Leather.”